you don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of the
adventures of tom sawyer  but that ain't no matter   that book was made
by mr  mark twain  and he told the truth  mainly   there was things which
he stretched  but mainly he told the truth   that is nothing   i never
seen anybody but lied one time or another  without it was aunt polly  or
the widow  or maybe mary   aunt polly tom's aunt polly  she is and
mary  and the widow douglas is all told about in that book  which is
mostly a true book  with some stretchers  as i said before 

now the way that the book winds up is this   tom and me found the money
that the robbers hid in the cave  and it made us rich   we got six
thousand dollars apiece all gold   it was an awful sight of money when
it was piled up   well  judge thatcher he took it and put it out at
interest  and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round
 more than a body could tell what to do with   the widow douglas she took
me for her son  and allowed she would sivilize me  but it was rough
living in the house all the time  considering how dismal regular and
decent the widow was in all her ways  and so when i couldn't stand it no
longer i lit out   i got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again 
and was free and satisfied   but tom sawyer he hunted me up and said he
was going to start a band of robbers  and i might join if i would go back
to the widow and be respectable   so i went back 

the widow she cried over me  and called me a poor lost lamb  and she
called me a lot of other names  too  but she never meant no harm by it 
she put me in them new clothes again  and i couldn't do nothing but sweat
and sweat  and feel all cramped up   well  then  the old thing commenced
again   the widow rung a bell for supper  and you had to come to time 
when you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating  but you had to
wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the
victuals  though there warn't really anything the matter with them  that
is  nothing only everything was cooked by itself   in a barrel of odds
and ends it is different  things get mixed up  and the juice kind of
swaps around  and the things go better 

after supper she got out her book and learned me about moses and the
bulrushers  and i was in a sweat to find out all about him  but by and by
she let it out that moses had been dead a considerable long time  so then
i didn't care no more about him  because i don't take no stock in dead
people 

pretty soon i wanted to smoke  and asked the widow to let me   but she
wouldn't   she said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean  and i must
try to not do it any more   that is just the way with some people   they
get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it   here she was
a-bothering about moses  which was no kin to her  and no use to anybody 
being gone  you see  yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a
thing that had some good in it   and she took snuff  too  of course that
was all right  because she done it herself 

her sister  miss watson  a tolerable slim old maid  with goggles on 
had just come to live with her  and took a set at me now with a
spelling-book  she worked me middling hard for about an hour  and then
the widow made her ease up   i couldn't stood it much longer   then for
an hour it was deadly dull  and i was fidgety   miss watson would say 
 don't put your feet up there  huckleberry   and  don't scrunch up like
that  huckleberry set up straight   and pretty soon she would say 
 don't gap and stretch like that  huckleberry why don't you try to
behave    then she told me all about the bad place  and i said i wished i
was there  she got mad then  but i didn't mean no harm   all i wanted was
to go somewheres  all i wanted was a change  i warn't particular   she
said it was wicked to say what i said  said she wouldn't say it for the
whole world  she was going to live so as to go to the good place   well 
i couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going  so i made up my
mind i wouldn't try for it   but i never said so  because it would only
make trouble  and wouldn't do no good 

now she had got a start  and she went on and told me all about the good
place   she said all a body would have to do there was to go around all
day long with a harp and sing  forever and ever   so i didn't think much
of it  but i never said so   i asked her if she reckoned tom sawyer would
go there  and she said not by a considerable sight   i was glad about
that  because i wanted him and me to be together 

miss watson she kept pecking at me  and it got tiresome and lonesome   by
and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers  and then everybody
was off to bed   i went up to my room with a piece of candle  and put it
on the table   then i set down in a chair by the window and tried to
think of something cheerful  but it warn't no use   i felt so lonesome i
most wished i was dead   the stars were shining  and the leaves rustled
in the woods ever so mournful  and i heard an owl  away off  who-whooing
about somebody that was dead  and a whippowill and a dog crying about
somebody that was going to die  and the wind was trying to whisper
something to me  and i couldn't make out what it was  and so it made the
cold shivers run over me  then away out in the woods i heard that kind of
a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's
on its mind and can't make itself understood  and so can't rest easy in
its grave  and has to go about that way every night grieving   i got so
down-hearted and scared i did wish i had some company   pretty soon a
spider went crawling up my shoulder  and i flipped it off and it lit in
the candle  and before i could budge it was all shriveled up   i didn't
need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch
me some bad luck  so i was scared and most shook the clothes off of me 
i got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast
every time  and then i tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to
keep witches away   but i hadn't no confidence   you do that when you've
lost a horseshoe that you've found  instead of nailing it up over the
door  but i hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad
luck when you'd killed a spider 

i set down again  a-shaking all over  and got out my pipe for a smoke 
for the house was all as still as death now  and so the widow wouldn't
know  well  after a long time i heard the clock away off in the town go
boom boom boom twelve licks  and all still again stiller than ever 
pretty soon i heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees
 something was a stirring   i set still and listened   directly i could
just barely hear a  me-yow! me-yow!  down there   that was good!  says i 
 me-yow! me-yow!  as soft as i could  and then i put out the light and
scrambled out of the window on to the shed   then i slipped down to the
ground and crawled in among the trees  and  sure enough  there was tom
sawyer waiting for me 




we went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of
the widow's garden  stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our
heads  when we was passing by the kitchen i fell over a root and made a
noise   we scrouched down and laid still   miss watson's big nigger 
named jim  was setting in the kitchen door  we could see him pretty
clear  because there was a light behind him   he got up and stretched his
neck out about a minute  listening   then he says 

 who dah  

he listened some more  then he come tiptoeing down and stood right
between us  we could a touched him  nearly   well  likely it was minutes
and minutes that there warn't a sound  and we all there so close
together   there was a place on my ankle that got to itching  but i
dasn't scratch it  and then my ear begun to itch  and next my back  right
between my shoulders   seemed like i'd die if i couldn't scratch   well 
i've noticed that thing plenty times since   if you are with the quality 
or at a funeral  or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy if you
are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch  why you will itch all
over in upwards of a thousand places  pretty soon jim says 

 say  who is you   whar is you   dog my cats ef i didn' hear sumf'n 
well  i know what i's gwyne to do   i's gwyne to set down here and listen
tell i hears it agin  

so he set down on the ground betwixt me and tom   he leaned his back up
against a tree  and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched
one of mine   my nose begun to itch   it itched till the tears come into
my eyes   but i dasn't scratch   then it begun to itch on the inside 
next i got to itching underneath   i didn't know how i was going to set
still  this miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes  but it
seemed a sight longer than that   i was itching in eleven different
places now   i reckoned i couldn't stand it more'n a minute longer  but i
set my teeth hard and got ready to try   just then jim begun to breathe
heavy  next he begun to snore and then i was pretty soon comfortable
again 

tom he made a sign to me kind of a little noise with his mouth and we
went creeping away on our hands and knees   when we was ten foot off tom
whispered to me  and wanted to tie jim to the tree for fun   but i said
no  he might wake and make a disturbance  and then they'd find out i
warn't in  then tom said he hadn't got candles enough  and he would slip
in the kitchen and get some more   i didn't want him to try   i said jim
might wake up and come   but tom wanted to resk it  so we slid in there
and got three candles  and tom laid five cents on the table for pay 
then we got out  and i was in a sweat to get away  but nothing would do
tom but he must crawl to where jim was  on his hands and knees  and play
something on him   i waited  and it seemed a good while  everything was
so still and lonesome 

as soon as tom was back we cut along the path  around the garden fence 
and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of
the house   tom said he slipped jim's hat off of his head and hung it on
a limb right over him  and jim stirred a little  but he didn't wake 
afterwards jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance 
and rode him all over the state  and then set him under the trees again 
and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it   and next time jim told
it he said they rode him down to new orleans  and  after that  every time
he told it he spread it more and more  till by and by he said they rode
him all over the world  and tired him most to death  and his back was all
over saddle-boils   jim was monstrous proud about it  and he got so he
wouldn't hardly notice the other niggers   niggers would come miles to
hear jim tell about it  and he was more looked up to than any nigger in
that country   strange niggers would stand with their mouths open and
look him all over  same as if he was a wonder   niggers is always talking
about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire  but whenever one was
talking and letting on to know all about such things  jim would happen in
and say   hm!  what you know 'bout witches   and that nigger was corked
up and had to take a back seat   jim always kept that five-center piece
round his neck with a string  and said it was a charm the devil give to
him with his own hands  and told him he could cure anybody with it and
fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by saying something to it  but
he never told what it was he said to it   niggers would come from all
around there and give jim anything they had  just for a sight of that
five-center piece  but they wouldn't touch it  because the devil had had
his hands on it   jim was most ruined for a servant  because he got stuck
up on account of having seen the devil and been rode by witches 

well  when tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we looked away down
into the village and could see three or four lights twinkling  where
there was sick folks  maybe  and the stars over us was sparkling ever so
fine  and down by the village was the river  a whole mile broad  and
awful still and grand   we went down the hill and found jo harper and ben
rogers  and two or three more of the boys  hid in the old tanyard   so we
unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half  to the
big scar on the hillside  and went ashore 

we went to a clump of bushes  and tom made everybody swear to keep the
secret  and then showed them a hole in the hill  right in the thickest
part of the bushes   then we lit the candles  and crawled in on our hands
and knees   we went about two hundred yards  and then the cave opened up 
tom poked about amongst the passages  and pretty soon ducked under a wall
where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole   we went along a
narrow place and got into a kind of room  all damp and sweaty and cold 
and there we stopped   tom says 

 now  we'll start this band of robbers and call it tom sawyer's gang 
everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath  and write his name
in blood  

everybody was willing   so tom got out a sheet of paper that he had wrote
the oath on  and read it   it swore every boy to stick to the band  and
never tell any of the secrets  and if anybody done anything to any boy in
the band  whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and his family
must do it  and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he had killed
them and hacked a cross in their breasts  which was the sign of the band 
and nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that mark  and if he
did he must be sued  and if he done it again he must be killed   and if
anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets  he must have his
throat cut  and then have his carcass burnt up and the ashes scattered
all around  and his name blotted off of the list with blood and never
mentioned again by the gang  but have a curse put on it and be forgot
forever 

everybody said it was a real beautiful oath  and asked tom if he got it
out of his own head   he said  some of it  but the rest was out of
pirate-books and robber-books  and every gang that was high-toned had it 

some thought it would be good to kill the families of boys that told the
secrets   tom said it was a good idea  so he took a pencil and wrote it
in  then ben rogers says 

 here's huck finn  he hain't got no family  what you going to do 'bout
him  

 well  hain't he got a father   says tom sawyer 

 yes  he's got a father  but you can't never find him these days   he
used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard  but he hain't been seen
in these parts for a year or more  

they talked it over  and they was going to rule me out  because they said
every boy must have a family or somebody to kill  or else it wouldn't be
fair and square for the others   well  nobody could think of anything to
do everybody was stumped  and set still   i was most ready to cry  but
all at once i thought of a way  and so i offered them miss watson they
could kill her   everybody said 

 oh  she'll do   that's all right   huck can come in  

then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with  and
i made my mark on the paper 

 now   says ben rogers   what's the line of business of this gang  

 nothing only robbery and murder   tom said 

 but who are we going to rob  houses  or cattle  or  

 stuff! stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery  it's burglary  
says tom sawyer    we ain't burglars   that ain't no sort of style   we
are highwaymen   we stop stages and carriages on the road  with masks on 
and kill the people and take their watches and money  

 must we always kill the people  

 oh  certainly   it's best   some authorities think different  but mostly
it's considered best to kill them except some that you bring to the cave
here  and keep them till they're ransomed  

 ransomed   what's that  

 i don't know   but that's what they do   i've seen it in books  and so
of course that's what we've got to do  

 but how can we do it if we don't know what it is  

 why  blame it all  we've got to do it   don't i tell you it's in the
books   do you want to go to doing different from what's in the books 
and get things all muddled up  

 oh  that's all very fine to say  tom sawyer  but how in the nation are
these fellows going to be ransomed if we don't know how to do it to them 
 that's the thing i want to get at   now  what do you reckon it is  

 well  i don't know   but per'aps if we keep them till they're ransomed 
it means that we keep them till they're dead  

 now  that's something like   that'll answer   why couldn't you said that
before   we'll keep them till they're ransomed to death  and a bothersome
lot they'll be  too eating up everything  and always trying to get
loose  

 how you talk  ben rogers   how can they get loose when there's a guard
over them  ready to shoot them down if they move a peg  

 a guard!  well  that is good   so somebody's got to set up all night and
never get any sleep  just so as to watch them   i think that's
foolishness  why can't a body take a club and ransom them as soon as they
get here  

 because it ain't in the books so that's why   now  ben rogers  do you
want to do things regular  or don't you  that's the idea   don't you
reckon that the people that made the books knows what's the correct thing
to do   do you reckon you can learn 'em anything   not by a good deal 
no  sir  we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way  

 all right   i don't mind  but i say it's a fool way  anyhow   say  do we
kill the women  too  

 well  ben rogers  if i was as ignorant as you i wouldn't let on   kill
the women   no  nobody ever saw anything in the books like that   you
fetch them to the cave  and you're always as polite as pie to them  and
by and by they fall in love with you  and never want to go home any
more  

 well  if that's the way i'm agreed  but i don't take no stock in it 
mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up with women  and fellows
waiting to be ransomed  that there won't be no place for the robbers 
but go ahead  i ain't got nothing to say  

little tommy barnes was asleep now  and when they waked him up he was
scared  and cried  and said he wanted to go home to his ma  and didn't
want to be a robber any more 

so they all made fun of him  and called him cry-baby  and that made him
mad  and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets   but tom
give him five cents to keep quiet  and said we would all go home and meet
next week  and rob somebody and kill some people 

ben rogers said he couldn't get out much  only sundays  and so he wanted
to begin next sunday  but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it
on sunday  and that settled the thing   they agreed to get together and
fix a day as soon as they could  and then we elected tom sawyer first
captain and jo harper second captain of the gang  and so started home 

i clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was
breaking  my new clothes was all greased up and clayey  and i was
dog-tired 




well  i got a good going-over in the morning from old miss watson on
account of my clothes  but the widow she didn't scold  but only cleaned
off the grease and clay  and looked so sorry that i thought i would
behave awhile if i could   then miss watson she took me in the closet and
prayed  but nothing come of it   she told me to pray every day  and
whatever i asked for i would get it   but it warn't so   i tried it 
once i got a fish-line  but no hooks   it warn't any good to me without
hooks   i tried for the hooks three or four times  but somehow i couldn't
make it work   by and by  one day  i asked miss watson to try for me  but
she said i was a fool   she never told me why  and i couldn't make it out
no way 

i set down one time back in the woods  and had a long think about it   i
says to myself  if a body can get anything they pray for  why don't
deacon winn get back the money he lost on pork   why can't the widow get
back her silver snuffbox that was stole   why can't miss watson fat up 
no  says i to my self  there ain't nothing in it   i went and told the
widow about it  and she said the thing a body could get by praying for it
was  spiritual gifts    this was too many for me  but she told me what
she meant i must help other people  and do everything i could for other
people  and look out for them all the time  and never think about myself 
this was including miss watson  as i took it   i went out in the woods
and turned it over in my mind a long time  but i couldn't see no
advantage about it except for the other people  so at last i reckoned i
wouldn't worry about it any more  but just let it go   sometimes the
widow would take me one side and talk about providence in a way to make a
body's mouth water  but maybe next day miss watson would take hold and
knock it all down again   i judged i could see that there was two
providences  and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the
widow's providence  but if miss watson's got him there warn't no help for
him any more   i thought it all out  and reckoned i would belong to the
widow's if he wanted me  though i couldn't make out how he was a-going to
be any better off then than what he was before  seeing i was so ignorant 
and so kind of low-down and ornery 

pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year  and that was comfortable
for me  i didn't want to see him no more   he used to always whale me
when he was sober and could get his hands on me  though i used to take to
the woods most of the time when he was around   well  about this time he
was found in the river drownded  about twelve mile above town  so people
said   they judged it was him  anyway  said this drownded man was just
his size  and was ragged  and had uncommon long hair  which was all like
pap  but they couldn't make nothing out of the face  because it had been
in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all   they said he was
floating on his back in the water   they took him and buried him on the
bank   but i warn't comfortable long  because i happened to think of
something   i knowed mighty well that a drownded man don't float on his
back  but on his face   so i knowed  then  that this warn't pap  but a
woman dressed up in a man's clothes   so i was uncomfortable again   i
judged the old man would turn up again by and by  though i wished he
wouldn't 

we played robber now and then about a month  and then i resigned   all
the boys did   we hadn't robbed nobody  hadn't killed any people  but
only just pretended   we used to hop out of the woods and go charging
down on hog-drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market  but
we never hived any of them   tom sawyer called the hogs  ingots   and he
called the turnips and stuff  julery   and we would go to the cave and
powwow over what we had done  and how many people we had killed and
marked   but i couldn't see no profit in it   one time tom sent a boy to
run about town with a blazing stick  which he called a slogan (which was
the sign for the gang to get together)  and then he said he had got
secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of spanish
merchants and rich a-rabs was going to camp in cave hollow with two
hundred elephants  and six hundred camels  and over a thousand  sumter 
mules  all loaded down with di'monds  and they didn't have only a guard
of four hundred soldiers  and so we would lay in ambuscade  as he called
it  and kill the lot and scoop the things   he said we must slick up our
swords and guns  and get ready   he never could go after even a
turnip-cart but he must have the swords and guns all scoured up for it 
though they was only lath and broomsticks  and you might scour at them
till you rotted  and then they warn't worth a mouthful of ashes more than
what they was before   i didn't believe we could lick such a crowd of
spaniards and a-rabs  but i wanted to see the camels and elephants  so i
was on hand next day  saturday  in the ambuscade  and when we got the
word we rushed out of the woods and down the hill   but there warn't no
spaniards and a-rabs  and there warn't no camels nor no elephants   it
warn't anything but a sunday-school picnic  and only a primer-class at
that   we busted it up  and chased the children up the hollow  but we
never got anything but some doughnuts and jam  though ben rogers got a
rag doll  and jo harper got a hymn-book and a tract  and then the teacher
charged in  and made us drop everything and cut   i didn't see no
di'monds  and i told tom sawyer so   he said there was loads of them
there  anyway  and he said there was a-rabs there  too  and elephants and
things   i said  why couldn't we see them  then   he said if i warn't so
ignorant  but had read a book called don quixote  i would know without
asking   he said it was all done by enchantment   he said there was
hundreds of soldiers there  and elephants and treasure  and so on  but we
had enemies which he called magicians  and they had turned the whole
thing into an infant sunday-school  just out of spite   i said  all
right  then the thing for us to do was to go for the magicians   tom
sawyer said i was a numskull 

 why   said he   a magician could call up a lot of genies  and they would
hash you up like nothing before you could say jack robinson   they are as
tall as a tree and as big around as a church  

 well   i says   s'pose we got some genies to help us can't we lick the
other crowd then  

 how you going to get them  

 i don't know   how do they get them  

 why  they rub an old tin lamp or an iron ring  and then the genies come
tearing in  with the thunder and lightning a-ripping around and the smoke
a-rolling  and everything they're told to do they up and do it   they
don't think nothing of pulling a shot-tower up by the roots  and belting
a sunday-school superintendent over the head with it or any other man  

 who makes them tear around so  

 why  whoever rubs the lamp or the ring   they belong to whoever rubs the
lamp or the ring  and they've got to do whatever he says   if he tells
them to build a palace forty miles long out of di'monds  and fill it full
of chewing-gum  or whatever you want  and fetch an emperor's daughter
from china for you to marry  they've got to do it and they've got to do
it before sun-up next morning  too   and more   they've got to waltz that
palace around over the country wherever you want it  you understand  

 well   says i   i think they are a pack of flat-heads for not keeping
the palace themselves 'stead of fooling them away like that   and what's
more if i was one of them i would see a man in jericho before i would
drop my business and come to him for the rubbing of an old tin lamp  

 how you talk  huck finn   why  you'd have to come when he rubbed it 
whether you wanted to or not  

 what! and i as high as a tree and as big as a church   all right  then 
i would come  but i lay i'd make that man climb the highest tree there
was in the country  

 shucks  it ain't no use to talk to you  huck finn   you don't seem to
know anything  somehow perfect saphead  

i thought all this over for two or three days  and then i reckoned i
would see if there was anything in it   i got an old tin lamp and an iron
ring  and went out in the woods and rubbed and rubbed till i sweat like
an injun  calculating to build a palace and sell it  but it warn't no
use  none of the genies come   so then i judged that all that stuff was
only just one of tom sawyer's lies   i reckoned he believed in the a-rabs
and the elephants  but as for me i think different   it had all the marks
of a sunday-school 




well  three or four months run along  and it was well into the winter
now  i had been to school most all the time and could spell and read and
write just a little  and could say the multiplication table up to six
times seven is thirty-five  and i don't reckon i could ever get any
further than that if i was to live forever   i don't take no stock in
mathematics  anyway 

at first i hated the school  but by and by i got so i could stand it 
whenever i got uncommon tired i played hookey  and the hiding i got next
day done me good and cheered me up   so the longer i went to school the
easier it got to be   i was getting sort of used to the widow's ways 
too  and they warn't so raspy on me   living in a house and sleeping in a
bed pulled on me pretty tight mostly  but before the cold weather i used
to slide out and sleep in the woods sometimes  and so that was a rest to
me   i liked the old ways best  but i was getting so i liked the new
ones  too  a little bit  the widow said i was coming along slow but sure 
and doing very satisfactory   she said she warn't ashamed of me 

one morning i happened to turn over the salt-cellar at breakfast   i
reached for some of it as quick as i could to throw over my left shoulder
and keep off the bad luck  but miss watson was in ahead of me  and
crossed me off  she says   take your hands away  huckleberry  what a mess
you are always making!   the widow put in a good word for me  but that
warn't going to keep off the bad luck  i knowed that well enough   i
started out  after breakfast  feeling worried and shaky  and wondering
where it was going to fall on me  and what it was going to be   there is
ways to keep off some kinds of bad luck  but this wasn't one of them
kind  so i never tried to do anything  but just poked along low-spirited
and on the watch-out 

i went down to the front garden and clumb over the stile where you go
through the high board fence   there was an inch of new snow on the
ground  and i seen somebody's tracks   they had come up from the quarry
and stood around the stile a while  and then went on around the garden
fence   it was funny they hadn't come in  after standing around so   i
couldn't make it out   it was very curious  somehow   i was going to
follow around  but i stooped down to look at the tracks first   i didn't
notice anything at first  but next i did   there was a cross in the left
boot-heel made with big nails  to keep off the devil 

i was up in a second and shinning down the hill   i looked over my
shoulder every now and then  but i didn't see nobody   i was at judge
thatcher's as quick as i could get there   he said 

 why  my boy  you are all out of breath   did you come for your
interest  

 no  sir   i says   is there some for me  

 oh  yes  a half-yearly is in last night over a hundred and fifty
dollars   quite a fortune for you   you had better let me invest it along
with your six thousand  because if you take it you'll spend it  

 no  sir   i says   i don't want to spend it   i don't want it at all
 nor the six thousand  nuther   i want you to take it  i want to give it
to you the six thousand and all  

he looked surprised   he couldn't seem to make it out   he says 

 why  what can you mean  my boy  

i says   don't you ask me no questions about it  please   you'll take it
 won't you  

he says 

 well  i'm puzzled   is something the matter  

 please take it   says i   and don't ask me nothing then i won't have to
tell no lies  

he studied a while  and then he says 

 oho-o!  i think i see   you want to sell all your property to me not
give it   that's the correct idea  

then he wrote something on a paper and read it over  and says 

 there  you see it says 'for a consideration '  that means i have bought
it of you and paid you for it   here's a dollar for you   now you sign
it  

so i signed it  and left 

miss watson's nigger  jim  had a hair-ball as big as your fist  which had
been took out of the fourth stomach of an ox  and he used to do magic
with it   he said there was a spirit inside of it  and it knowed
everything   so i went to him that night and told him pap was here again 
for i found his tracks in the snow   what i wanted to know was  what he
was going to do  and was he going to stay   jim got out his hair-ball and
said something over it  and then he held it up and dropped it on the
floor   it fell pretty solid  and only rolled about an inch   jim tried
it again  and then another time  and it acted just the same   jim got
down on his knees  and put his ear against it and listened   but it
warn't no use  he said it wouldn't talk  he said sometimes it wouldn't
talk without money   i told him i had an old slick counterfeit quarter
that warn't no good because the brass showed through the silver a little 
and it wouldn't pass nohow  even if the brass didn't show  because it was
so slick it felt greasy  and so that would tell on it every time   (i
reckoned i wouldn't say nothing about the dollar i got from the judge ) i
said it was pretty bad money  but maybe the hair-ball would take it 
because maybe it wouldn't know the difference   jim smelt it and bit it
and rubbed it  and said he would manage so the hair-ball would think it
was good   he said he would split open a raw irish potato and stick the
quarter in between and keep it there all night  and next morning you
couldn't see no brass  and it wouldn't feel greasy no more  and so
anybody in town would take it in a minute  let alone a hair-ball   well 
i knowed a potato would do that before  but i had forgot it 

jim put the quarter under the hair-ball  and got down and listened again 
this time he said the hair-ball was all right   he said it would tell my
whole fortune if i wanted it to   i says  go on   so the hair-ball talked
to jim  and jim told it to me   he says 

 yo' ole father doan' know yit what he's a-gwyne to do   sometimes he
spec he'll go 'way  en den agin he spec he'll stay   de bes' way is to
res' easy en let de ole man take his own way   dey's two angels hoverin'
roun' 'bout him   one uv 'em is white en shiny  en t'other one is black 
de white one gits him to go right a little while  den de black one sail
in en bust it all up   a body can't tell yit which one gwyne to fetch him
at de las'   but you is all right   you gwyne to have considable trouble
in yo' life  en considable joy   sometimes you gwyne to git hurt  en
sometimes you gwyne to git sick  but every time you's gwyne to git well
agin   dey's two gals flyin' 'bout you in yo' life   one uv 'em's light
en t'other one is dark  one is rich en t'other is po'   you's gwyne to
marry de po' one fust en de rich one by en by   you wants to keep 'way
fum de water as much as you kin  en don't run no resk  'kase it's down in
de bills dat you's gwyne to git hung  

when i lit my candle and went up to my room that night there sat pap his
own self!




i had shut the door to   then i turned around and there he was   i used
to be scared of him all the time  he tanned me so much   i reckoned i was
scared now  too  but in a minute i see i was mistaken that is  after the
first jolt  as you may say  when my breath sort of hitched  he being so
unexpected  but right away after i see i warn't scared of him worth
bothring about 

he was most fifty  and he looked it   his hair was long and tangled and
greasy  and hung down  and you could see his eyes shining through like he
was behind vines   it was all black  no gray  so was his long  mixed-up
whiskers   there warn't no color in his face  where his face showed  it
was white  not like another man's white  but a white to make a body sick 
a white to make a body's flesh crawl a tree-toad white  a fish-belly
white   as for his clothes just rags  that was all   he had one ankle
resting on t'other knee  the boot on that foot was busted  and two of his
toes stuck through  and he worked them now and then   his hat was laying
on the floor an old black slouch with the top caved in  like a lid 

i stood a-looking at him  he set there a-looking at me  with his chair
tilted back a little   i set the candle down   i noticed the window was
up  so he had clumb in by the shed   he kept a-looking me all over   by
and by he says 

 starchy clothes very   you think you're a good deal of a big-bug  don't
you  

 maybe i am  maybe i ain't   i says 

 don't you give me none o' your lip   says he    you've put on
considerable many frills since i been away   i'll take you down a peg
before i get done with you   you're educated  too  they say can read and
write   you think you're better'n your father  now  don't you  because he
can't   i'll take it out of you   who told you you might meddle with such
hifalut'n foolishness  hey  who told you you could  

 the widow   she told me  

 the widow  hey  and who told the widow she could put in her shovel
about a thing that ain't none of her business  

 nobody never told her  

 well  i'll learn her how to meddle   and looky here you drop that
school  you hear   i'll learn people to bring up a boy to put on airs
over his own father and let on to be better'n what he is   you lemme
catch you fooling around that school again  you hear   your mother
couldn't read  and she couldn't write  nuther  before she died   none of
the family couldn't before they died   i can't  and here you're
a-swelling yourself up like this   i ain't the man to stand it you hear 
say  lemme hear you read  

i took up a book and begun something about general washington and the
wars  when i'd read about a half a minute  he fetched the book a whack
with his hand and knocked it across the house   he says 

 it's so   you can do it   i had my doubts when you told me   now looky
here  you stop that putting on frills   i won't have it   i'll lay for
you  my smarty  and if i catch you about that school i'll tan you good 
first you know you'll get religion  too   i never see such a son  

he took up a little blue and yaller picture of some cows and a boy  and
says 

 what's this  

 it's something they give me for learning my lessons good  

he tore it up  and says 

 i'll give you something better i'll give you a cowhide  

he set there a-mumbling and a-growling a minute  and then he says 

 ain't you a sweet-scented dandy  though   a bed  and bedclothes  and a
look'n'-glass  and a piece of carpet on the floor and your own father
got to sleep with the hogs in the tanyard   i never see such a son   i
bet i'll take some o' these frills out o' you before i'm done with you 
why  there ain't no end to your airs they say you're rich   hey  how's
that  

 they lie that's how  

 looky here mind how you talk to me  i'm a-standing about all i can
stand now so don't gimme no sass   i've been in town two days  and i
hain't heard nothing but about you bein' rich   i heard about it away
down the river  too   that's why i come   you git me that money
to-morrow i want it  

 i hain't got no money  

 it's a lie   judge thatcher's got it   you git it   i want it  

 i hain't got no money  i tell you   you ask judge thatcher  he'll tell
you the same  

 all right   i'll ask him  and i'll make him pungle  too  or i'll know
the reason why   say  how much you got in your pocket   i want it  

 i hain't got only a dollar  and i want that to  

 it don't make no difference what you want it for you just shell it
out  

he took it and bit it to see if it was good  and then he said he was
going down town to get some whisky  said he hadn't had a drink all day 
when he had got out on the shed he put his head in again  and cussed me
for putting on frills and trying to be better than him  and when i
reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in again  and told me
to mind about that school  because he was going to lay for me and lick me
if i didn't drop that 

next day he was drunk  and he went to judge thatcher's and bullyragged
him  and tried to make him give up the money  but he couldn't  and then
he swore he'd make the law force him 

the judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take me away from
him and let one of them be my guardian  but it was a new judge that had
just come  and he didn't know the old man  so he said courts mustn't
interfere and separate families if they could help it  said he'd druther
not take a child away from its father   so judge thatcher and the widow
had to quit on the business 

that pleased the old man till he couldn't rest   he said he'd cowhide me
till i was black and blue if i didn't raise some money for him   i
borrowed three dollars from judge thatcher  and pap took it and got
drunk  and went a-blowing around and cussing and whooping and carrying
on  and he kept it up all over town  with a tin pan  till most midnight 
then they jailed him  and next day they had him before court  and jailed
him again for a week   but he said he was satisfied  said he was boss of
his son  and he'd make it warm for him 

when he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make a man of him 
so he took him to his own house  and dressed him up clean and nice  and
had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with the family  and was just
old pie to him  so to speak   and after supper he talked to him about
temperance and such things till the old man cried  and said he'd been a
fool  and fooled away his life  but now he was a-going to turn over a new
leaf and be a man nobody wouldn't be ashamed of  and he hoped the judge
would help him and not look down on him   the judge said he could hug him
for them words  so he cried  and his wife she cried again  pap said he'd
been a man that had always been misunderstood before  and the judge said
he believed it   the old man said that what a man wanted that was down
was sympathy  and the judge said it was so  so they cried again   and
when it was bedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand  and says 

 look at it  gentlemen and ladies all  take a-hold of it  shake it 
there's a hand that was the hand of a hog  but it ain't so no more  it's
the hand of a man that's started in on a new life  and'll die before
he'll go back   you mark them words don't forget i said them   it's a
clean hand now  shake it don't be afeard  

so they shook it  one after the other  all around  and cried   the
judge's wife she kissed it   then the old man he signed a pledge made
his mark  the judge said it was the holiest time on record  or something
like that  then they tucked the old man into a beautiful room  which was
the spare room  and in the night some time he got powerful thirsty and
clumb out on to the porch-roof and slid down a stanchion and traded his
new coat for a jug of forty-rod  and clumb back again and had a good old
time  and towards daylight he crawled out again  drunk as a fiddler  and
rolled off the porch and broke his left arm in two places  and was most
froze to death when somebody found him after sun-up   and when they come
to look at that spare room they had to take soundings before they could
navigate it 

the judge he felt kind of sore   he said he reckoned a body could reform
the old man with a shotgun  maybe  but he didn't know no other way 




well  pretty soon the old man was up and around again  and then he went
for judge thatcher in the courts to make him give up that money  and he
went for me  too  for not stopping school   he catched me a couple of
times and thrashed me  but i went to school just the same  and dodged him
or outrun him most of the time   i didn't want to go to school much
before  but i reckoned i'd go now to spite pap   that law trial was a
slow business appeared like they warn't ever going to get started on
it  so every now and then i'd borrow two or three dollars off of the
judge for him  to keep from getting a cowhiding   every time he got money
he got drunk  and every time he got drunk he raised cain around town  and
every time he raised cain he got jailed   he was just suited this kind
of thing was right in his line 

he got to hanging around the widow's too much and so she told him at last
that if he didn't quit using around there she would make trouble for him 
well  wasn't he mad   he said he would show who was huck finn's boss   so
he watched out for me one day in the spring  and catched me  and took me
up the river about three mile in a skiff  and crossed over to the
illinois shore where it was woody and there warn't no houses but an old
log hut in a place where the timber was so thick you couldn't find it if
you didn't know where it was 

he kept me with him all the time  and i never got a chance to run off 
we lived in that old cabin  and he always locked the door and put the key
under his head nights   he had a gun which he had stole  i reckon  and we
fished and hunted  and that was what we lived on   every little while he
locked me in and went down to the store  three miles  to the ferry  and
traded fish and game for whisky  and fetched it home and got drunk and
had a good time  and licked me   the widow she found out where i was by
and by  and she sent a man over to try to get hold of me  but pap drove
him off with the gun  and it warn't long after that till i was used to
being where i was  and liked it all but the cowhide part 

it was kind of lazy and jolly  laying off comfortable all day  smoking
and fishing  and no books nor study   two months or more run along  and
my clothes got to be all rags and dirt  and i didn't see how i'd ever got
to like it so well at the widow's  where you had to wash  and eat on a
plate  and comb up  and go to bed and get up regular  and be forever
bothering over a book  and have old miss watson pecking at you all the
time   i didn't want to go back no more   i had stopped cussing  because
the widow didn't like it  but now i took to it again because pap hadn't
no objections   it was pretty good times up in the woods there  take it
all around 

but by and by pap got too handy with his hick'ry  and i couldn't stand
it  i was all over welts   he got to going away so much  too  and locking
me in   once he locked me in and was gone three days   it was dreadful
lonesome   i judged he had got drowned  and i wasn't ever going to get
out any more   i was scared   i made up my mind i would fix up some way
to leave there   i had tried to get out of that cabin many a time  but i
couldn't find no way   there warn't a window to it big enough for a dog
to get through   i couldn't get up the chimbly  it was too narrow   the
door was thick  solid oak slabs   pap was pretty careful not to leave a
knife or anything in the cabin when he was away  i reckon i had hunted
the place over as much as a hundred times  well  i was most all the time
at it  because it was about the only way to put in the time   but this
time i found something at last  i found an old rusty wood-saw without any
handle  it was laid in between a rafter and the clapboards of the roof 
i greased it up and went to work   there was an old horse-blanket nailed
against the logs at the far end of the cabin behind the table  to keep
the wind from blowing through the chinks and putting the candle out   i
got under the table and raised the blanket  and went to work to saw a
section of the big bottom log out big enough to let me through   well 
it was a good long job  but i was getting towards the end of it when i
heard pap's gun in the woods   i got rid of the signs of my work  and
dropped the blanket and hid my saw  and pretty soon pap come in 

pap warn't in a good humor so he was his natural self   he said he was
down town  and everything was going wrong   his lawyer said he reckoned
he would win his lawsuit and get the money if they ever got started on
the trial  but then there was ways to put it off a long time  and judge
thatcher knowed how to do it   and he said people allowed there'd be
another trial to get me away from him and give me to the widow for my
guardian  and they guessed it would win this time   this shook me up
considerable  because i didn't want to go back to the widow's any more
and be so cramped up and sivilized  as they called it   then the old man
got to cussing  and cussed everything and everybody he could think of 
and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadn't skipped any 
and after that he polished off with a kind of a general cuss all round 
including a considerable parcel of people which he didn't know the names
of  and so called them what's-his-name when he got to them  and went
right along with his cussing 

he said he would like to see the widow get me   he said he would watch
out  and if they tried to come any such game on him he knowed of a place
six or seven mile off to stow me in  where they might hunt till they
dropped and they couldn't find me   that made me pretty uneasy again  but
only for a minute  i reckoned i wouldn't stay on hand till he got that
chance 

the old man made me go to the skiff and fetch the things he had got 
there was a fifty-pound sack of corn meal  and a side of bacon 
ammunition  and a four-gallon jug of whisky  and an old book and two
newspapers for wadding  besides some tow   i toted up a load  and went
back and set down on the bow of the skiff to rest   i thought it all
over  and i reckoned i would walk off with the gun and some lines  and
take to the woods when i run away   i guessed i wouldn't stay in one
place  but just tramp right across the country  mostly night times  and
hunt and fish to keep alive  and so get so far away that the old man nor
the widow couldn't ever find me any more   i judged i would saw out and
leave that night if pap got drunk enough  and i reckoned he would   i got
so full of it i didn't notice how long i was staying till the old man
hollered and asked me whether i was asleep or drownded 

i got the things all up to the cabin  and then it was about dark   while
i was cooking supper the old man took a swig or two and got sort of
warmed up  and went to ripping again   he had been drunk over in town 
and laid in the gutter all night  and he was a sight to look at   a body
would a thought he was adam he was just all mud   whenever his liquor
begun to work he most always went for the govment  this time he says 

 call this a govment! why  just look at it and see what it's like 
here's the law a-standing ready to take a man's son away from him a
man's own son  which he has had all the trouble and all the anxiety and
all the expense of raising   yes  just as that man has got that son
raised at last  and ready to go to work and begin to do suthin' for him
and give him a rest  the law up and goes for him   and they call that
govment!  that ain't all  nuther   the law backs that old judge thatcher
up and helps him to keep me out o' my property   here's what the law
does   the law takes a man worth six thousand dollars and up'ards  and
jams him into an old trap of a cabin like this  and lets him go round in
clothes that ain't fitten for a hog  they call that govment!  a man can't
get his rights in a govment like this  sometimes i've a mighty notion to
just leave the country for good and all  yes  and i told 'em so  i told
old thatcher so to his face   lots of 'em heard me  and can tell what i
said   says i  for two cents i'd leave the blamed country and never come
a-near it agin   them's the very words   i says look at my hat if you
call it a hat but the lid raises up and the rest of it goes down till
it's below my chin  and then it ain't rightly a hat at all  but more like
my head was shoved up through a jint o' stove-pipe   look at it  says i
 such a hat for me to wear one of the wealthiest men in this town if i
could git my rights 

 oh  yes  this is a wonderful govment  wonderful   why  looky here 
there was a free nigger there from ohio a mulatter  most as white as a
white man   he had the whitest shirt on you ever see  too  and the
shiniest hat  and there ain't a man in that town that's got as fine
clothes as what he had  and he had a gold watch and chain  and a
silver-headed cane the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the state   and
what do you think   they said he was a p'fessor in a college  and could
talk all kinds of languages  and knowed everything   and that ain't the
wust  they said he could vote when he was at home   well  that let me
out  thinks i  what is the country a-coming to   it was 'lection day  and
i was just about to go and vote myself if i warn't too drunk to get
there  but when they told me there was a state in this country where
they'd let that nigger vote  i drawed out   i says i'll never vote agin 
them's the very words i said  they all heard me  and the country may rot
for all me i'll never vote agin as long as i live   and to see the cool
way of that nigger why  he wouldn't a give me the road if i hadn't
shoved him out o' the way   i says to the people  why ain't this nigger
put up at auction and sold  that's what i want to know   and what do you
reckon they said  why  they said he couldn't be sold till he'd been in
the state six months  and he hadn't been there that long yet   there 
now that's a specimen   they call that a govment that can't sell a free
nigger till he's been in the state six months   here's a govment that
calls itself a govment  and lets on to be a govment  and thinks it is a
govment  and yet's got to set stock-still for six whole months before it
can take a hold of a prowling  thieving  infernal  white-shirted free
nigger  and  

pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was
taking him to  so he went head over heels over the tub of salt pork and
barked both shins  and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of
language mostly hove at the nigger and the govment  though he give the
tub some  too  all along  here and there   he hopped around the cabin
considerable  first on one leg and then on the other  holding first one
shin and then the other one  and at last he let out with his left foot
all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick   but it warn't good
judgment  because that was the boot that had a couple of his toes leaking
out of the front end of it  so now he raised a howl that fairly made a
body's hair raise  and down he went in the dirt  and rolled there  and
held his toes  and the cussing he done then laid over anything he had
ever done previous   he said so his own self afterwards   he had heard
old sowberry hagan in his best days  and he said it laid over him  too 
but i reckon that was sort of piling it on  maybe 

after supper pap took the jug  and said he had enough whisky there for
two drunks and one delirium tremens   that was always his word   i judged
he would be blind drunk in about an hour  and then i would steal the key 
or saw myself out  one or t'other   he drank and drank  and tumbled down
on his blankets by and by  but luck didn't run my way   he didn't go
sound asleep  but was uneasy   he groaned and moaned and thrashed around
this way and that for a long time   at last i got so sleepy i couldn't
keep my eyes open all i could do  and so before i knowed what i was about
i was sound asleep  and the candle burning 

i don't know how long i was asleep  but all of a sudden there was an
awful scream and i was up   there was pap looking wild  and skipping
around every which way and yelling about snakes   he said they was
crawling up his legs  and then he would give a jump and scream  and say
one had bit him on the cheek but i couldn't see no snakes   he started
and run round and round the cabin  hollering  take him off! take him off!
he's biting me on the neck!   i never see a man look so wild in the eyes 
pretty soon he was all fagged out  and fell down panting  then he rolled
over and over wonderful fast  kicking things every which way  and
striking and grabbing at the air with his hands  and screaming and saying
there was devils a-hold of him   he wore out by and by  and laid still a
while  moaning   then he laid stiller  and didn't make a sound   i could
hear the owls and the wolves away off in the woods  and it seemed
terrible still   he was laying over by the corner  by and by he raised up
part way and listened  with his head to one side   he says  very low 

 tramp tramp tramp  that's the dead  tramp tramp tramp  they're
coming after me  but i won't go   oh  they're here! don't touch me
 don't! hands off they're cold  let go   oh  let a poor devil alone! 

then he went down on all fours and crawled off  begging them to let him
alone  and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the
old pine table  still a-begging  and then he went to crying   i could
hear him through the blanket 

by and by he rolled out and jumped up on his feet looking wild  and he
see me and went for me   he chased me round and round the place with a
clasp-knife  calling me the angel of death  and saying he would kill me 
and then i couldn't come for him no more   i begged  and told him i was
only huck  but he laughed such a screechy laugh  and roared and cussed 
and kept on chasing me up   once when i turned short and dodged under his
arm he made a grab and got me by the jacket between my shoulders  and i
thought i was gone  but i slid out of the jacket quick as lightning  and
saved myself  pretty soon he was all tired out  and dropped down with his
back against the door  and said he would rest a minute and then kill me 
he put his knife under him  and said he would sleep and get strong  and
then he would see who was who 

so he dozed off pretty soon   by and by i got the old split-bottom chair
and clumb up as easy as i could  not to make any noise  and got down the
gun   i slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded  then i
laid it across the turnip barrel  pointing towards pap  and set down
behind it to wait for him to stir   and how slow and still the time did
drag along 




 git up!  what you 'bout  

i opened my eyes and looked around  trying to make out where i was   it
was after sun-up  and i had been sound asleep   pap was standing over me
looking sour and sick  too   he says 

 what you doin' with this gun  

i judged he didn't know nothing about what he had been doing  so i says 

 somebody tried to get in  so i was laying for him  

 why didn't you roust me out  

 well  i tried to  but i couldn't  i couldn't budge you  

 well  all right   don't stand there palavering all day  but out with you
and see if there's a fish on the lines for breakfast   i'll be along in a
minute  

he unlocked the door  and i cleared out up the river-bank   i noticed
some pieces of limbs and such things floating down  and a sprinkling of
bark  so i knowed the river had begun to rise   i reckoned i would have
great times now if i was over at the town   the june rise used to be
always luck for me  because as soon as that rise begins here comes
cordwood floating down  and pieces of log rafts sometimes a dozen logs
together  so all you have to do is to catch them and sell them to the
wood-yards and the sawmill 

i went along up the bank with one eye out for pap and t'other one out for
what the rise might fetch along   well  all at once here comes a canoe 
just a beauty  too  about thirteen or fourteen foot long  riding high
like a duck   i shot head-first off of the bank like a frog  clothes and
all on  and struck out for the canoe   i just expected there'd be
somebody laying down in it  because people often done that to fool folks 
and when a chap had pulled a skiff out most to it they'd raise up and
laugh at him   but it warn't so this time   it was a drift-canoe sure
enough  and i clumb in and paddled her ashore   thinks i  the old man
will be glad when he sees this she's worth ten dollars   but when i
got to shore pap wasn't in sight yet  and as i was running her into a
little creek like a gully  all hung over with vines and willows  i struck
another idea   i judged i'd hide her good  and then  'stead of taking to
the woods when i run off  i'd go down the river about fifty mile and camp
in one place for good  and not have such a rough time tramping on foot 

it was pretty close to the shanty  and i thought i heard the old man
coming all the time  but i got her hid  and then i out and looked around
a bunch of willows  and there was the old man down the path a piece just
drawing a bead on a bird with his gun   so he hadn't seen anything 

when he got along i was hard at it taking up a  trot  line   he abused me
a little for being so slow  but i told him i fell in the river  and that
was what made me so long   i knowed he would see i was wet  and then he
would be asking questions   we got five catfish off the lines and went
home 

while we laid off after breakfast to sleep up  both of us being about
wore out  i got to thinking that if i could fix up some way to keep pap
and the widow from trying to follow me  it would be a certainer thing
than trusting to luck to get far enough off before they missed me  you
see  all kinds of things might happen   well  i didn't see no way for a
while  but by and by pap raised up a minute to drink another barrel of
water  and he says 

 another time a man comes a-prowling round here you roust me out  you
hear  that man warn't here for no good   i'd a shot him   next time you
roust me out  you hear  

then he dropped down and went to sleep again  but what he had been saying
give me the very idea i wanted   i says to myself  i can fix it now so
nobody won't think of following me 

about twelve o'clock we turned out and went along up the bank   the river
was coming up pretty fast  and lots of driftwood going by on the rise 
by and by along comes part of a log raft nine logs fast together   we
went out with the skiff and towed it ashore   then we had dinner 
anybody but pap would a waited and seen the day through  so as to catch
more stuff  but that warn't pap's style   nine logs was enough for one
time  he must shove right over to town and sell   so he locked me in and
took the skiff  and started off towing the raft about half-past three   i
judged he wouldn't come back that night   i waited till i reckoned he had
got a good start  then i out with my saw  and went to work on that log
again   before he was t'other side of the river i was out of the hole 
him and his raft was just a speck on the water away off yonder 

i took the sack of corn meal and took it to where the canoe was hid  and
shoved the vines and branches apart and put it in  then i done the same
with the side of bacon  then the whisky-jug   i took all the coffee and
sugar there was  and all the ammunition  i took the wadding  i took the
bucket and gourd  i took a dipper and a tin cup  and my old saw and two
blankets  and the skillet and the coffee-pot   i took fish-lines and
matches and other things everything that was worth a cent   i cleaned
out the place   i wanted an axe  but there wasn't any  only the one out
at the woodpile  and i knowed why i was going to leave that   i fetched
out the gun  and now i was done 

i had wore the ground a good deal crawling out of the hole and dragging
out so many things   so i fixed that as good as i could from the outside
by scattering dust on the place  which covered up the smoothness and the
sawdust   then i fixed the piece of log back into its place  and put two
rocks under it and one against it to hold it there  for it was bent up at
that place and didn't quite touch ground   if you stood four or five foot
away and didn't know it was sawed  you wouldn't never notice it  and
besides  this was the back of the cabin  and it warn't likely anybody
would go fooling around there 

it was all grass clear to the canoe  so i hadn't left a track   i
followed around to see   i stood on the bank and looked out over the
river   all safe   so i took the gun and went up a piece into the woods 
and was hunting around for some birds when i see a wild pig  hogs soon
went wild in them bottoms after they had got away from the prairie farms 
i shot this fellow and took him into camp 

i took the axe and smashed in the door   i beat it and hacked it
considerable a-doing it   i fetched the pig in  and took him back nearly
to the table and hacked into his throat with the axe  and laid him down
on the ground to bleed  i say ground because it was ground hard packed 
and no boards   well  next i took an old sack and put a lot of big rocks
in it all i could drag and i started it from the pig  and dragged it
to the door and through the woods down to the river and dumped it in  and
down it sunk  out of sight   you could easy see that something had been
dragged over the ground   i did wish tom sawyer was there  i knowed he
would take an interest in this kind of business  and throw in the fancy
touches   nobody could spread himself like tom sawyer in such a thing as
that 

well  last i pulled out some of my hair  and blooded the axe good  and
stuck it on the back side  and slung the axe in the corner   then i took
up the pig and held him to my breast with my jacket (so he couldn't drip)
till i got a good piece below the house and then dumped him into the
river   now i thought of something else   so i went and got the bag of
meal and my old saw out of the canoe  and fetched them to the house   i
took the bag to where it used to stand  and ripped a hole in the bottom
of it with the saw  for there warn't no knives and forks on the place
 pap done everything with his clasp-knife about the cooking   then i
carried the sack about a hundred yards across the grass and through the
willows east of the house  to a shallow lake that was five mile wide and
full of rushes and ducks too  you might say  in the season   there was a
slough or a creek leading out of it on the other side that went miles
away  i don't know where  but it didn't go to the river   the meal sifted
out and made a little track all the way to the lake   i dropped pap's
whetstone there too  so as to look like it had been done by accident 
then i tied up the rip in the meal sack with a string  so it wouldn't
leak no more  and took it and my saw to the canoe again 

it was about dark now  so i dropped the canoe down the river under some
willows that hung over the bank  and waited for the moon to rise   i made
fast to a willow  then i took a bite to eat  and by and by laid down in
the canoe to smoke a pipe and lay out a plan   i says to myself  they'll
follow the track of that sackful of rocks to the shore and then drag the
river for me   and they'll follow that meal track to the lake and go
browsing down the creek that leads out of it to find the robbers that
killed me and took the things   they won't ever hunt the river for
anything but my dead carcass  they'll soon get tired of that  and won't
bother no more about me   all right  i can stop anywhere i want to 
jackson's island is good enough for me  i know that island pretty well 
and nobody ever comes there   and then i can paddle over to town nights 
and slink around and pick up things i want  jackson's island's the place 

i was pretty tired  and the first thing i knowed i was asleep   when i
woke up i didn't know where i was for a minute   i set up and looked
around  a little scared   then i remembered   the river looked miles and
miles across   the moon was so bright i could a counted the drift logs
that went a-slipping along  black and still  hundreds of yards out from
shore  everything was dead quiet  and it looked late  and smelt late 
you know what i mean i don't know the words to put it in 

i took a good gap and a stretch  and was just going to unhitch and start
when i heard a sound away over the water   i listened   pretty soon i
made it out   it was that dull kind of a regular sound that comes from
oars working in rowlocks when it's a still night   i peeped out through
the willow branches  and there it was a skiff  away across the water   i
couldn't tell how many was in it   it kept a-coming  and when it was
abreast of me i see there warn't but one man in it   think's i  maybe
it's pap  though i warn't expecting him   he dropped below me with the
current  and by and by he came a-swinging up shore in the easy water  and
he went by so close i could a reached out the gun and touched him   well 
it was pap  sure enough and sober  too  by the way he laid his oars 

i didn't lose no time   the next minute i was a-spinning down stream soft
but quick in the shade of the bank   i made two mile and a half  and then
struck out a quarter of a mile or more towards the middle of the river 
because pretty soon i would be passing the ferry landing  and people
might see me and hail me   i got out amongst the driftwood  and then laid
down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float   i laid there  and had
a good rest and a smoke out of my pipe  looking away into the sky  not a
cloud in it   the sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back
in the moonshine  i never knowed it before   and how far a body can hear
on the water such nights!  i heard people talking at the ferry landing 
i heard what they said  too every word of it   one man said it was
getting towards the long days and the short nights now   t'other one said
this warn't one of the short ones  he reckoned and then they laughed 
and he said it over again  and they laughed again  then they waked up
another fellow and told him  and laughed  but he didn't laugh  he ripped
out something brisk  and said let him alone   the first fellow said he
'lowed to tell it to his old woman she would think it was pretty good 
but he said that warn't nothing to some things he had said in his time 
i heard one man say it was nearly three o'clock  and he hoped daylight
wouldn't wait more than about a week longer   after that the talk got
further and further away  and i couldn't make out the words any more  but
i could hear the mumble  and now and then a laugh  too  but it seemed a
long ways off 

i was away below the ferry now   i rose up  and there was jackson's
island  about two mile and a half down stream  heavy timbered and
standing up out of the middle of the river  big and dark and solid  like
a steamboat without any lights   there warn't any signs of the bar at the
head it was all under water now 

it didn't take me long to get there   i shot past the head at a ripping
rate  the current was so swift  and then i got into the dead water and
landed on the side towards the illinois shore   i run the canoe into a
deep dent in the bank that i knowed about  i had to part the willow
branches to get in  and when i made fast nobody could a seen the canoe
from the outside 

i went up and set down on a log at the head of the island  and looked out
on the big river and the black driftwood and away over to the town  three
mile away  where there was three or four lights twinkling   a monstrous
big lumber-raft was about a mile up stream  coming along down  with a
lantern in the middle of it   i watched it come creeping down  and when
it was most abreast of where i stood i heard a man say   stern oars 
there! heave her head to stabboard!   i heard that just as plain as if
the man was by my side 

there was a little gray in the sky now  so i stepped into the woods  and
laid down for a nap before breakfast 




the sun was up so high when i waked that i judged it was after eight
o'clock   i laid there in the grass and the cool shade thinking about
things  and feeling rested and ruther comfortable and satisfied   i could
see the sun out at one or two holes  but mostly it was big trees all
about  and gloomy in there amongst them   there was freckled places on
the ground where the light sifted down through the leaves  and the
freckled places swapped about a little  showing there was a little breeze
up there   a couple of squirrels set on a limb and jabbered at me very
friendly 

i was powerful lazy and comfortable didn't want to get up and cook
breakfast   well  i was dozing off again when i thinks i hears a deep
sound of  boom!  away up the river   i rouses up  and rests on my elbow
and listens  pretty soon i hears it again   i hopped up  and went and
looked out at a hole in the leaves  and i see a bunch of smoke laying on
the water a long ways up about abreast the ferry   and there was the
ferryboat full of people floating along down   i knowed what was the
matter now    boom!  i see the white smoke squirt out of the ferryboat's
side   you see  they was firing cannon over the water  trying to make my
carcass come to the top 

i was pretty hungry  but it warn't going to do for me to start a fire 
because they might see the smoke   so i set there and watched the
cannon-smoke and listened to the boom   the river was a mile wide there 
and it always looks pretty on a summer morning so i was having a good
enough time seeing them hunt for my remainders if i only had a bite to
eat  well  then i happened to think how they always put quicksilver in
loaves of bread and float them off  because they always go right to the
drownded carcass and stop there   so  says i  i'll keep a lookout  and if
any of them's floating around after me i'll give them a show   i changed
to the illinois edge of the island to see what luck i could have  and i
warn't disappointed   a big double loaf come along  and i most got it
with a long stick  but my foot slipped and she floated out further   of
course i was where the current set in the closest to the shore i knowed
enough for that   but by and by along comes another one  and this time i
won   i took out the plug and shook out the little dab of quicksilver 
and set my teeth in   it was  baker's bread  what the quality eat  none
of your low-down corn-pone 

i got a good place amongst the leaves  and set there on a log  munching
the bread and watching the ferry-boat  and very well satisfied   and then
something struck me   i says  now i reckon the widow or the parson or
somebody prayed that this bread would find me  and here it has gone and
done it   so there ain't no doubt but there is something in that thing
 that is  there's something in it when a body like the widow or the parson
prays  but it don't work for me  and i reckon it don't work for only just
the right kind 

i lit a pipe and had a good long smoke  and went on watching   the
ferryboat was floating with the current  and i allowed i'd have a chance
to see who was aboard when she come along  because she would come in
close  where the bread did   when she'd got pretty well along down
towards me  i put out my pipe and went to where i fished out the bread 
and laid down behind a log on the bank in a little open place   where the
log forked i could peep through 

by and by she come along  and she drifted in so close that they could a
run out a plank and walked ashore   most everybody was on the boat   pap 
and judge thatcher  and bessie thatcher  and jo harper  and tom sawyer 
and his old aunt polly  and sid and mary  and plenty more   everybody was
talking about the murder  but the captain broke in and says 

 look sharp  now  the current sets in the closest here  and maybe he's
washed ashore and got tangled amongst the brush at the water's edge   i
hope so  anyway  

 i didn't hope so   they all crowded up and leaned over the rails  nearly
in my face  and kept still  watching with all their might   i could see
them first-rate  but they couldn't see me   then the captain sung out 

 stand away!  and the cannon let off such a blast right before me that it
made me deef with the noise and pretty near blind with the smoke  and i
judged i was gone   if they'd a had some bullets in  i reckon they'd a
got the corpse they was after   well  i see i warn't hurt  thanks to
goodness  the boat floated on and went out of sight around the shoulder
of the island   i could hear the booming now and then  further and
further off  and by and by  after an hour  i didn't hear it no more   the
island was three mile long   i judged they had got to the foot  and was
giving it up   but they didn't yet a while   they turned around the foot
of the island and started up the channel on the missouri side  under
steam  and booming once in a while as they went   i crossed over to that
side and watched them  when they got abreast the head of the island they
quit shooting and dropped over to the missouri shore and went home to the
town 

i knowed i was all right now   nobody else would come a-hunting after me 
i got my traps out of the canoe and made me a nice camp in the thick
woods   i made a kind of a tent out of my blankets to put my things under
so the rain couldn't get at them   i catched a catfish and haggled him
open with my saw  and towards sundown i started my camp fire and had
supper   then i set out a line to catch some fish for breakfast 

when it was dark i set by my camp fire smoking  and feeling pretty well
satisfied  but by and by it got sort of lonesome  and so i went and set
on the bank and listened to the current swashing along  and counted the
stars and drift logs and rafts that come down  and then went to bed 
there ain't no better way to put in time when you are lonesome  you can't
stay so  you soon get over it 

and so for three days and nights   no difference just the same thing 
but the next day i went exploring around down through the island   i was
boss of it  it all belonged to me  so to say  and i wanted to know all
about it  but mainly i wanted to put in the time   i found plenty
strawberries  ripe and prime  and green summer grapes  and green
razberries  and the green blackberries was just beginning to show   they
would all come handy by and by  i judged 

well  i went fooling along in the deep woods till i judged i warn't far
from the foot of the island   i had my gun along  but i hadn't shot
nothing  it was for protection  thought i would kill some game nigh home 
about this time i mighty near stepped on a good-sized snake  and it went
sliding off through the grass and flowers  and i after it  trying to get
a shot at it  i clipped along  and all of a sudden i bounded right on to
the ashes of a camp fire that was still smoking 

my heart jumped up amongst my lungs   i never waited for to look further 
but uncocked my gun and went sneaking back on my tiptoes as fast as ever
i could   every now and then i stopped a second amongst the thick leaves
and listened  but my breath come so hard i couldn't hear nothing else   i
slunk along another piece further  then listened again  and so on  and so
on   if i see a stump  i took it for a man  if i trod on a stick and
broke it  it made me feel like a person had cut one of my breaths in two
and i only got half  and the short half  too 

when i got to camp i warn't feeling very brash  there warn't much sand in
my craw  but i says  this ain't no time to be fooling around   so i got
all my traps into my canoe again so as to have them out of sight  and i
put out the fire and scattered the ashes around to look like an old last
year's camp  and then clumb a tree 

i reckon i was up in the tree two hours  but i didn't see nothing  i
didn't hear nothing i only thought i heard and seen as much as a
thousand things   well  i couldn't stay up there forever  so at last i
got down  but i kept in the thick woods and on the lookout all the time 
all i could get to eat was berries and what was left over from breakfast 

by the time it was night i was pretty hungry   so when it was good and
dark i slid out from shore before moonrise and paddled over to the
illinois bank about a quarter of a mile   i went out in the woods and
cooked a supper  and i had about made up my mind i would stay there all
night when i hear a plunkety-plunk  plunkety-plunk  and says to myself 
horses coming  and next i hear people's voices   i got everything into
the canoe as quick as i could  and then went creeping through the woods
to see what i could find out   i hadn't got far when i hear a man say 

 we better camp here if we can find a good place  the horses is about
beat out   let's look around  

i didn't wait  but shoved out and paddled away easy   i tied up in the
old place  and reckoned i would sleep in the canoe 

i didn't sleep much   i couldn't  somehow  for thinking   and every time
i waked up i thought somebody had me by the neck   so the sleep didn't do
me no good   by and by i says to myself  i can't live this way  i'm
a-going to find out who it is that's here on the island with me  i'll
find it out or bust   well  i felt better right off 

so i took my paddle and slid out from shore just a step or two  and then
let the canoe drop along down amongst the shadows   the moon was shining 
and outside of the shadows it made it most as light as day   i poked
along well on to an hour  everything still as rocks and sound asleep 
well  by this time i was most down to the foot of the island   a little
ripply  cool breeze begun to blow  and that was as good as saying the
night was about done   i give her a turn with the paddle and brung her
nose to shore  then i got my gun and slipped out and into the edge of the
woods   i sat down there on a log  and looked out through the leaves   i
see the moon go off watch  and the darkness begin to blanket the river 
but in a little while i see a pale streak over the treetops  and knowed
the day was coming   so i took my gun and slipped off towards where i had
run across that camp fire  stopping every minute or two to listen   but i
hadn't no luck somehow  i couldn't seem to find the place   but by and
by  sure enough  i catched a glimpse of fire away through the trees   i
went for it  cautious and slow   by and by i was close enough to have a
look  and there laid a man on the ground   it most give me the fantods 
he had a blanket around his head  and his head was nearly in the fire   i
set there behind a clump of bushes in about six foot of him  and kept my
eyes on him steady   it was getting gray daylight now   pretty soon he
gapped and stretched himself and hove off the blanket  and it was miss
watson's jim!  i bet i was glad to see him   i says 

 hello  jim!  and skipped out 

he bounced up and stared at me wild   then he drops down on his knees 
and puts his hands together and says 

 doan' hurt me don't!  i hain't ever done no harm to a ghos'   i alwuz
liked dead people  en done all i could for 'em   you go en git in de
river agin  whah you b'longs  en doan' do nuffn to ole jim  'at 'uz awluz
yo' fren'  

well  i warn't long making him understand i warn't dead   i was ever so
glad to see jim   i warn't lonesome now   i told him i warn't afraid of
him telling the people where i was   i talked along  but he only set
there and looked at me  never said nothing   then i says 

 it's good daylight   le's get breakfast   make up your camp fire good  

 what's de use er makin' up de camp fire to cook strawbries en sich
truck  but you got a gun  hain't you   den we kin git sumfn better den
strawbries  

 strawberries and such truck   i says    is that what you live on  

 i couldn' git nuffn else   he says 

 why  how long you been on the island  jim  

 i come heah de night arter you's killed  

 what  all that time  

 yes indeedy  

 and ain't you had nothing but that kind of rubbage to eat  

 no  sah nuffn else  

 well  you must be most starved  ain't you  

 i reck'n i could eat a hoss   i think i could  how long you ben on de
islan'  

 since the night i got killed  

 no!  w'y  what has you lived on   but you got a gun   oh  yes  you got a
gun   dat's good   now you kill sumfn en i'll make up de fire  

so we went over to where the canoe was  and while he built a fire in a
grassy open place amongst the trees  i fetched meal and bacon and coffee 
and coffee-pot and frying-pan  and sugar and tin cups  and the nigger was
set back considerable  because he reckoned it was all done with
witchcraft  i catched a good big catfish  too  and jim cleaned him with
his knife  and fried him 

when breakfast was ready we lolled on the grass and eat it smoking hot 
jim laid it in with all his might  for he was most about starved   then
when we had got pretty well stuffed  we laid off and lazied   by and by
jim says 

 but looky here  huck  who wuz it dat 'uz killed in dat shanty ef it
warn't you  

then i told him the whole thing  and he said it was smart   he said tom
sawyer couldn't get up no better plan than what i had   then i says 

 how do you come to be here  jim  and how'd you get here  

he looked pretty uneasy  and didn't say nothing for a minute   then he
says 

 maybe i better not tell  

 why  jim  

 well  dey's reasons   but you wouldn' tell on me ef i uz to tell you 
would you  huck  

 blamed if i would  jim  

 well  i b'lieve you  huck   i i run off  

 jim! 

 but mind  you said you wouldn' tell you know you said you wouldn' tell 
huck  

 well  i did   i said i wouldn't  and i'll stick to it   honest injun  i
will   people would call me a low-down abolitionist and despise me for
keeping mum but that don't make no difference   i ain't a-going to tell 
and i ain't a-going back there  anyways   so  now  le's know all about
it  

 well  you see  it 'uz dis way   ole missus dat's miss watson she pecks
on me all de time  en treats me pooty rough  but she awluz said she
wouldn' sell me down to orleans   but i noticed dey wuz a nigger trader
roun' de place considable lately  en i begin to git oneasy   well  one
night i creeps to de do' pooty late  en de do' warn't quite shet  en i
hear old missus tell de widder she gwyne to sell me down to orleans  but
she didn' want to  but she could git eight hund'd dollars for me  en it
'uz sich a big stack o' money she couldn' resis'   de widder she try to
git her to say she wouldn' do it  but i never waited to hear de res'   i
lit out mighty quick  i tell you 

 i tuck out en shin down de hill  en 'spec to steal a skift 'long de sho'
som'ers 'bove de town  but dey wuz people a-stirring yit  so i hid in de
ole tumble-down cooper-shop on de bank to wait for everybody to go 'way 
well  i wuz dah all night   dey wuz somebody roun' all de time   'long
'bout six in de mawnin' skifts begin to go by  en 'bout eight er nine
every skift dat went 'long wuz talkin' 'bout how yo' pap come over to de
town en say you's killed   dese las' skifts wuz full o' ladies en genlmen
a-goin' over for to see de place   sometimes dey'd pull up at de sho' en
take a res' b'fo' dey started acrost  so by de talk i got to know all
'bout de killin'   i 'uz powerful sorry you's killed  huck  but i ain't
no mo' now 

 i laid dah under de shavin's all day   i 'uz hungry  but i warn't
afeard  bekase i knowed ole missus en de widder wuz goin' to start to de
camp-meet'n' right arter breakfas' en be gone all day  en dey knows i
goes off wid de cattle 'bout daylight  so dey wouldn' 'spec to see me
roun' de place  en so dey wouldn' miss me tell arter dark in de evenin' 
de yuther servants wouldn' miss me  kase dey'd shin out en take holiday
soon as de ole folks 'uz out'n de way 

 well  when it come dark i tuck out up de river road  en went 'bout two
mile er more to whah dey warn't no houses   i'd made up my mine 'bout
what i's agwyne to do   you see  ef i kep' on tryin' to git away afoot 
de dogs 'ud track me  ef i stole a skift to cross over  dey'd miss dat
skift  you see  en dey'd know 'bout whah i'd lan' on de yuther side  en
whah to pick up my track   so i says  a raff is what i's arter  it doan'
make no track 

 i see a light a-comin' roun' de p'int bymeby  so i wade' in en shove' a
log ahead o' me en swum more'n half way acrost de river  en got in
'mongst de drift-wood  en kep' my head down low  en kinder swum agin de
current tell de raff come along   den i swum to de stern uv it en tuck
a-holt   it clouded up en 'uz pooty dark for a little while   so i clumb
up en laid down on de planks   de men 'uz all 'way yonder in de middle 
whah de lantern wuz   de river wuz a-risin'  en dey wuz a good current 
so i reck'n'd 'at by fo' in de mawnin' i'd be twenty-five mile down de
river  en den i'd slip in jis b'fo' daylight en swim asho'  en take to
de woods on de illinois side 

 but i didn' have no luck   when we 'uz mos' down to de head er de islan'
a man begin to come aft wid de lantern  i see it warn't no use fer to
wait  so i slid overboard en struck out fer de islan'   well  i had a
notion i could lan' mos' anywhers  but i couldn't bank too bluff   i 'uz
mos' to de foot er de islan' b'fo' i found' a good place   i went into de
woods en jedged i wouldn' fool wid raffs no mo'  long as dey move de
lantern roun' so   i had my pipe en a plug er dog-leg  en some matches in
my cap  en dey warn't wet  so i 'uz all right  

 and so you ain't had no meat nor bread to eat all this time   why didn't
you get mud-turkles  

 how you gwyne to git 'm   you can't slip up on um en grab um  en how's a
body gwyne to hit um wid a rock   how could a body do it in de night   en
i warn't gwyne to show mysef on de bank in de daytime  

 well  that's so   you've had to keep in the woods all the time  of
course  did you hear 'em shooting the cannon  

 oh  yes   i knowed dey was arter you   i see um go by heah watched um
thoo de bushes  

some young birds come along  flying a yard or two at a time and lighting 
jim said it was a sign it was going to rain   he said it was a sign when
young chickens flew that way  and so he reckoned it was the same way when
young birds done it   i was going to catch some of them  but jim wouldn't
let me   he said it was death   he said his father laid mighty sick once 
and some of them catched a bird  and his old granny said his father would
die  and he did 

and jim said you mustn't count the things you are going to cook for
dinner  because that would bring bad luck   the same if you shook the
table-cloth after sundown   and he said if a man owned a beehive and that
man died  the bees must be told about it before sun-up next morning  or
else the bees would all weaken down and quit work and die   jim said bees
wouldn't sting idiots  but i didn't believe that  because i had tried
them lots of times myself  and they wouldn't sting me 

i had heard about some of these things before  but not all of them   jim
knowed all kinds of signs   he said he knowed most everything   i said it
looked to me like all the signs was about bad luck  and so i asked him if
there warn't any good-luck signs   he says 

 mighty few an' dey ain't no use to a body   what you want to know when
good luck's a-comin' for   want to keep it off    and he said    ef you's
got hairy arms en a hairy breas'  it's a sign dat you's agwyne to be
rich  well  dey's some use in a sign like dat  'kase it's so fur ahead 
you see  maybe you's got to be po' a long time fust  en so you might git
discourage' en kill yo'sef 'f you didn' know by de sign dat you gwyne to
be rich bymeby  

 have you got hairy arms and a hairy breast  jim  

 what's de use to ax dat question   don't you see i has  

 well  are you rich  

 no  but i ben rich wunst  and gwyne to be rich agin   wunst i had foteen
dollars  but i tuck to specalat'n'  en got busted out  

 what did you speculate in  jim  

 well  fust i tackled stock  

 what kind of stock  

 why  live stock cattle  you know   i put ten dollars in a cow   but i
ain' gwyne to resk no mo' money in stock   de cow up 'n' died on my
han's  

 so you lost the ten dollars  

 no  i didn't lose it all   i on'y los' 'bout nine of it   i sole de hide
en taller for a dollar en ten cents  

 you had five dollars and ten cents left   did you speculate any more  

 yes   you know that one-laigged nigger dat b'longs to old misto bradish 
well  he sot up a bank  en say anybody dat put in a dollar would git fo'
dollars mo' at de en' er de year   well  all de niggers went in  but dey
didn't have much   i wuz de on'y one dat had much   so i stuck out for
mo' dan fo' dollars  en i said 'f i didn' git it i'd start a bank mysef 
well  o' course dat nigger want' to keep me out er de business  bekase he
says dey warn't business 'nough for two banks  so he say i could put in
my five dollars en he pay me thirty-five at de en' er de year 

 so i done it   den i reck'n'd i'd inves' de thirty-five dollars right
off en keep things a-movin'   dey wuz a nigger name' bob  dat had ketched
a wood-flat  en his marster didn' know it  en i bought it off'n him en
told him to take de thirty-five dollars when de en' er de year come  but
somebody stole de wood-flat dat night  en nex day de one-laigged nigger
say de bank's busted   so dey didn' none uv us git no money  

 what did you do with the ten cents  jim  

 well  i 'uz gwyne to spen' it  but i had a dream  en de dream tole me to
give it to a nigger name' balum balum's ass dey call him for short  he's
one er dem chuckleheads  you know   but he's lucky  dey say  en i see i
warn't lucky   de dream say let balum inves' de ten cents en he'd make a
raise for me   well  balum he tuck de money  en when he wuz in church he
hear de preacher say dat whoever give to de po' len' to de lord  en boun'
to git his money back a hund'd times   so balum he tuck en give de ten
cents to de po'  en laid low to see what wuz gwyne to come of it  

 well  what did come of it  jim  

 nuffn never come of it   i couldn' manage to k'leck dat money no way  en
balum he couldn'   i ain' gwyne to len' no mo' money 'dout i see de
security   boun' to git yo' money back a hund'd times  de preacher says!
ef i could git de ten cents back  i'd call it squah  en be glad er de
chanst  

 well  it's all right anyway  jim  long as you're going to be rich again
some time or other  

 yes  en i's rich now  come to look at it   i owns mysef  en i's wuth
eight hund'd dollars   i wisht i had de money  i wouldn' want no mo'  




i wanted to go and look at a place right about the middle of the island
that i'd found when i was exploring  so we started and soon got to it 
because the island was only three miles long and a quarter of a mile
wide 

this place was a tolerable long  steep hill or ridge about forty foot
high  we had a rough time getting to the top  the sides was so steep and
the bushes so thick   we tramped and clumb around all over it  and by and
by found a good big cavern in the rock  most up to the top on the side
towards illinois   the cavern was as big as two or three rooms bunched
together  and jim could stand up straight in it   it was cool in there 
jim was for putting our traps in there right away  but i said we didn't
want to be climbing up and down there all the time 

jim said if we had the canoe hid in a good place  and had all the traps
in the cavern  we could rush there if anybody was to come to the island 
and they would never find us without dogs   and  besides  he said them
little birds had said it was going to rain  and did i want the things to
get wet 

so we went back and got the canoe  and paddled up abreast the cavern  and
lugged all the traps up there   then we hunted up a place close by to
hide the canoe in  amongst the thick willows   we took some fish off of
the lines and set them again  and begun to get ready for dinner 

the door of the cavern was big enough to roll a hogshead in  and on one
side of the door the floor stuck out a little bit  and was flat and a
good place to build a fire on   so we built it there and cooked dinner 

we spread the blankets inside for a carpet  and eat our dinner in there 
we put all the other things handy at the back of the cavern   pretty soon
it darkened up  and begun to thunder and lighten  so the birds was right
about it   directly it begun to rain  and it rained like all fury  too 
and i never see the wind blow so   it was one of these regular summer
storms   it would get so dark that it looked all blue-black outside  and
lovely  and the rain would thrash along by so thick that the trees off a
little ways looked dim and spider-webby  and here would come a blast of
wind that would bend the trees down and turn up the pale underside of the
leaves  and then a perfect ripper of a gust would follow along and set
the branches to tossing their arms as if they was just wild  and next 
when it was just about the bluest and blackest fst! it was as bright as
glory  and you'd have a little glimpse of tree-tops a-plunging about away
off yonder in the storm  hundreds of yards further than you could see
before  dark as sin again in a second  and now you'd hear the thunder let
go with an awful crash  and then go rumbling  grumbling  tumbling  down
the sky towards the under side of the world  like rolling empty barrels
down stairs where it's long stairs and they bounce a good deal  you
know 

 jim  this is nice   i says    i wouldn't want to be nowhere else but
here  pass me along another hunk of fish and some hot corn-bread  

 well  you wouldn't a ben here 'f it hadn't a ben for jim   you'd a ben
down dah in de woods widout any dinner  en gittn' mos' drownded  too  dat
you would  honey   chickens knows when it's gwyne to rain  en so do de
birds  chile  

the river went on raising and raising for ten or twelve days  till at
last it was over the banks   the water was three or four foot deep on the
island in the low places and on the illinois bottom   on that side it was
a good many miles wide  but on the missouri side it was the same old
distance across a half a mile because the missouri shore was just a
wall of high bluffs 

daytimes we paddled all over the island in the canoe  it was mighty cool
and shady in the deep woods  even if the sun was blazing outside   we
went winding in and out amongst the trees  and sometimes the vines hung
so thick we had to back away and go some other way   well  on every old
broken-down tree you could see rabbits and snakes and such things  and
when the island had been overflowed a day or two they got so tame  on
account of being hungry  that you could paddle right up and put your hand
on them if you wanted to  but not the snakes and turtles they would
slide off in the water   the ridge our cavern was in was full of them 
we could a had pets enough if we'd wanted them 

one night we catched a little section of a lumber raft nice pine planks 
it was twelve foot wide and about fifteen or sixteen foot long  and the
top stood above water six or seven inches a solid  level floor   we
could see saw-logs go by in the daylight sometimes  but we let them go 
we didn't show ourselves in daylight 

another night when we was up at the head of the island  just before
daylight  here comes a frame-house down  on the west side   she was a
two-story  and tilted over considerable   we paddled out and got aboard
 clumb in at an upstairs window   but it was too dark to see yet  so we
made the canoe fast and set in her to wait for daylight 

the light begun to come before we got to the foot of the island   then we
looked in at the window   we could make out a bed  and a table  and two
old chairs  and lots of things around about on the floor  and there was
clothes hanging against the wall   there was something laying on the
floor in the far corner that looked like a man   so jim says 

 hello  you! 

but it didn't budge   so i hollered again  and then jim says 

 de man ain't asleep he's dead   you hold still i'll go en see  

he went  and bent down and looked  and says 

 it's a dead man   yes  indeedy  naked  too   he's ben shot in de back 
i reck'n he's ben dead two er three days   come in  huck  but doan' look
at his face it's too gashly  

i didn't look at him at all   jim throwed some old rags over him  but he
needn't done it  i didn't want to see him   there was heaps of old greasy
cards scattered around over the floor  and old whisky bottles  and a
couple of masks made out of black cloth  and all over the walls was the
ignorantest kind of words and pictures made with charcoal   there was two
old dirty calico dresses  and a sun-bonnet  and some women's underclothes
hanging against the wall  and some men's clothing  too   we put the lot
into the canoe it might come good   there was a boy's old speckled straw
hat on the floor  i took that  too   and there was a bottle that had had
milk in it  and it had a rag stopper for a baby to suck   we would a took
the bottle  but it was broke   there was a seedy old chest  and an old
hair trunk with the hinges broke   they stood open  but there warn't
nothing left in them that was any account   the way things was scattered
about we reckoned the people left in a hurry  and warn't fixed so as to
carry off most of their stuff 

we got an old tin lantern  and a butcher-knife without any handle  and a
bran-new barlow knife worth two bits in any store  and a lot of tallow
candles  and a tin candlestick  and a gourd  and a tin cup  and a ratty
old bedquilt off the bed  and a reticule with needles and pins and
beeswax and buttons and thread and all such truck in it  and a hatchet
and some nails  and a fishline as thick as my little finger with some
monstrous hooks on it  and a roll of buckskin  and a leather dog-collar 
and a horseshoe  and some vials of medicine that didn't have no label on
them  and just as we was leaving i found a tolerable good curry-comb  and
jim he found a ratty old fiddle-bow  and a wooden leg   the straps was
broke off of it  but  barring that  it was a good enough leg  though it
was too long for me and not long enough for jim  and we couldn't find the
other one  though we hunted all around 

and so  take it all around  we made a good haul   when we was ready to
shove off we was a quarter of a mile below the island  and it was pretty
broad day  so i made jim lay down in the canoe and cover up with the
quilt  because if he set up people could tell he was a nigger a good ways
off   i paddled over to the illinois shore  and drifted down most a half
a mile doing it   i crept up the dead water under the bank  and hadn't no
accidents and didn't see nobody   we got home all safe 




after breakfast i wanted to talk about the dead man and guess out how he
come to be killed  but jim didn't want to   he said it would fetch bad
luck  and besides  he said  he might come and ha'nt us  he said a man
that warn't buried was more likely to go a-ha'nting around than one that
was planted and comfortable   that sounded pretty reasonable  so i didn't
say no more  but i couldn't keep from studying over it and wishing i
knowed who shot the man  and what they done it for 

we rummaged the clothes we'd got  and found eight dollars in silver sewed
up in the lining of an old blanket overcoat   jim said he reckoned the
people in that house stole the coat  because if they'd a knowed the money
was there they wouldn't a left it   i said i reckoned they killed him 
too  but jim didn't want to talk about that   i says 

 now you think it's bad luck  but what did you say when i fetched in the
snake-skin that i found on the top of the ridge day before yesterday 
you said it was the worst bad luck in the world to touch a snake-skin
with my hands   well  here's your bad luck!  we've raked in all this
truck and eight dollars besides   i wish we could have some bad luck like
this every day  jim  

 never you mind  honey  never you mind   don't you git too peart   it's
a-comin'   mind i tell you  it's a-comin'  

it did come  too   it was a tuesday that we had that talk   well  after
dinner friday we was laying around in the grass at the upper end of the
ridge  and got out of tobacco   i went to the cavern to get some  and
found a rattlesnake in there   i killed him  and curled him up on the
foot of jim's blanket  ever so natural  thinking there'd be some fun when
jim found him there   well  by night i forgot all about the snake  and
when jim flung himself down on the blanket while i struck a light the
snake's mate was there  and bit him 

he jumped up yelling  and the first thing the light showed was the
varmint curled up and ready for another spring   i laid him out in a
second with a stick  and jim grabbed pap's whisky-jug and begun to pour
it down 

he was barefooted  and the snake bit him right on the heel   that all
comes of my being such a fool as to not remember that wherever you leave
a dead snake its mate always comes there and curls around it   jim told
me to chop off the snake's head and throw it away  and then skin the body
and roast a piece of it   i done it  and he eat it and said it would help
cure him  he made me take off the rattles and tie them around his wrist 
too   he said that that would help   then i slid out quiet and throwed
the snakes clear away amongst the bushes  for i warn't going to let jim
find out it was all my fault  not if i could help it 

jim sucked and sucked at the jug  and now and then he got out of his head
and pitched around and yelled  but every time he come to himself he went
to sucking at the jug again   his foot swelled up pretty big  and so did
his leg  but by and by the drunk begun to come  and so i judged he was
all right  but i'd druther been bit with a snake than pap's whisky 

jim was laid up for four days and nights   then the swelling was all gone
and he was around again   i made up my mind i wouldn't ever take a-holt
of a snake-skin again with my hands  now that i see what had come of it 
jim said he reckoned i would believe him next time   and he said that
handling a snake-skin was such awful bad luck that maybe we hadn't got to
the end of it yet   he said he druther see the new moon over his left
shoulder as much as a thousand times than take up a snake-skin in his
hand   well  i was getting to feel that way myself  though i've always
reckoned that looking at the new moon over your left shoulder is one of
the carelessest and foolishest things a body can do   old hank bunker
done it once  and bragged about it  and in less than two years he got
drunk and fell off of the shot-tower  and spread himself out so that he
was just a kind of a layer  as you may say  and they slid him edgeways
between two barn doors for a coffin  and buried him so  so they say  but
i didn't see it   pap told me   but anyway it all come of looking at the
moon that way  like a fool 

well  the days went along  and the river went down between its banks
again  and about the first thing we done was to bait one of the big hooks
with a skinned rabbit and set it and catch a catfish that was as big as a
man  being six foot two inches long  and weighed over two hundred pounds 
we couldn't handle him  of course  he would a flung us into illinois   we
just set there and watched him rip and tear around till he drownded   we
found a brass button in his stomach and a round ball  and lots of
rubbage   we split the ball open with the hatchet  and there was a spool
in it   jim said he'd had it there a long time  to coat it over so and
make a ball of it   it was as big a fish as was ever catched in the
mississippi  i reckon   jim said he hadn't ever seen a bigger one   he
would a been worth a good deal over at the village   they peddle out such
a fish as that by the pound in the market-house there  everybody buys
some of him  his meat's as white as snow and makes a good fry 

next morning i said it was getting slow and dull  and i wanted to get a
stirring up some way   i said i reckoned i would slip over the river and
find out what was going on   jim liked that notion  but he said i must go
in the dark and look sharp   then he studied it over and said  couldn't i
put on some of them old things and dress up like a girl   that was a good
notion  too   so we shortened up one of the calico gowns  and i turned up
my trouser-legs to my knees and got into it   jim hitched it behind with
the hooks  and it was a fair fit   i put on the sun-bonnet and tied it
under my chin  and then for a body to look in and see my face was like
looking down a joint of stove-pipe   jim said nobody would know me  even
in the daytime  hardly   i practiced around all day to get the hang of
the things  and by and by i could do pretty well in them  only jim said i
didn't walk like a girl  and he said i must quit pulling up my gown to
get at my britches-pocket   i took notice  and done better 

i started up the illinois shore in the canoe just after dark 

i started across to the town from a little below the ferry-landing  and
the drift of the current fetched me in at the bottom of the town   i tied
up and started along the bank   there was a light burning in a little
shanty that hadn't been lived in for a long time  and i wondered who had
took up quarters there   i slipped up and peeped in at the window   there
was a woman about forty year old in there knitting by a candle that was
on a pine table   i didn't know her face  she was a stranger  for you
couldn't start a face in that town that i didn't know   now this was
lucky  because i was weakening  i was getting afraid i had come  people
might know my voice and find me out   but if this woman had been in such
a little town two days she could tell me all i wanted to know  so i
knocked at the door  and made up my mind i wouldn't forget i was a girl 




 come in   says the woman  and i did   she says    take a cheer  

i done it   she looked me all over with her little shiny eyes  and says 

 what might your name be  

 sarah williams  

 where 'bouts do you live   in this neighborhood '

 no'm   in hookerville  seven mile below   i've walked all the way and
i'm all tired out  

 hungry  too  i reckon   i'll find you something  

 no'm  i ain't hungry   i was so hungry i had to stop two miles below
here at a farm  so i ain't hungry no more   it's what makes me so late 
my mother's down sick  and out of money and everything  and i come to
tell my uncle abner moore   he lives at the upper end of the town  she
says   i hain't ever been here before   do you know him  

 no  but i don't know everybody yet   i haven't lived here quite two
weeks  it's a considerable ways to the upper end of the town   you better
stay here all night   take off your bonnet  

 no   i says   i'll rest a while  i reckon  and go on   i ain't afeared
of the dark  

she said she wouldn't let me go by myself  but her husband would be in by
and by  maybe in a hour and a half  and she'd send him along with me 
then she got to talking about her husband  and about her relations up the
river  and her relations down the river  and about how much better off
they used to was  and how they didn't know but they'd made a mistake
coming to our town  instead of letting well alone and so on and so on 
till i was afeard i had made a mistake coming to her to find out what was
going on in the town  but by and by she dropped on to pap and the murder 
and then i was pretty willing to let her clatter right along   she told
about me and tom sawyer finding the six thousand dollars (only she got it
ten) and all about pap and what a hard lot he was  and what a hard lot i
was  and at last she got down to where i was murdered   i says 

 who done it   we've heard considerable about these goings on down in
hookerville  but we don't know who 'twas that killed huck finn  

 well  i reckon there's a right smart chance of people here that'd like
to know who killed him   some think old finn done it himself  

 no is that so  

 most everybody thought it at first   he'll never know how nigh he come
to getting lynched   but before night they changed around and judged it
was done by a runaway nigger named jim  

 why he  

i stopped   i reckoned i better keep still   she run on  and never
noticed i had put in at all 

 the nigger run off the very night huck finn was killed   so there's a
reward out for him three hundred dollars   and there's a reward out for
old finn  too two hundred dollars   you see  he come to town the morning
after the murder  and told about it  and was out with 'em on the
ferryboat hunt  and right away after he up and left   before night they
wanted to lynch him  but he was gone  you see   well  next day they found
out the nigger was gone  they found out he hadn't ben seen sence ten
o'clock the night the murder was done   so then they put it on him  you
see  and while they was full of it  next day  back comes old finn  and
went boo-hooing to judge thatcher to get money to hunt for the nigger all
over illinois with  the judge gave him some  and that evening he got
drunk  and was around till after midnight with a couple of mighty
hard-looking strangers  and then went off with them   well  he hain't
come back sence  and they ain't looking for him back till this thing
blows over a little  for people thinks now that he killed his boy and
fixed things so folks would think robbers done it  and then he'd get
huck's money without having to bother a long time with a lawsuit   people
do say he warn't any too good to do it   oh  he's sly  i reckon   if he
don't come back for a year he'll be all right   you can't prove anything
on him  you know  everything will be quieted down then  and he'll walk in
huck's money as easy as nothing  

 yes  i reckon so  'm   i don't see nothing in the way of it   has
everybody quit thinking the nigger done it  

 oh  no  not everybody   a good many thinks he done it   but they'll get
the nigger pretty soon now  and maybe they can scare it out of him  

 why  are they after him yet  

 well  you're innocent  ain't you!  does three hundred dollars lay around
every day for people to pick up   some folks think the nigger ain't far
from here   i'm one of them but i hain't talked it around   a few days
ago i was talking with an old couple that lives next door in the log
shanty  and they happened to say hardly anybody ever goes to that island
over yonder that they call jackson's island   don't anybody live there 
says i  no  nobody  says they   i didn't say any more  but i done some
thinking   i was pretty near certain i'd seen smoke over there  about the
head of the island  a day or two before that  so i says to myself  like
as not that nigger's hiding over there  anyway  says i  it's worth the
trouble to give the place a hunt   i hain't seen any smoke sence  so i
reckon maybe he's gone  if it was him  but husband's going over to see
 him and another man   he was gone up the river  but he got back to-day 
and i told him as soon as he got here two hours ago  

i had got so uneasy i couldn't set still   i had to do something with my
hands  so i took up a needle off of the table and went to threading it 
my hands shook  and i was making a bad job of it   when the woman stopped
talking i looked up  and she was looking at me pretty curious and smiling
a little   i put down the needle and thread  and let on to be interested
 and i was  too and says 

 three hundred dollars is a power of money   i wish my mother could get
it  is your husband going over there to-night  

 oh  yes   he went up-town with the man i was telling you of  to get a
boat and see if they could borrow another gun   they'll go over after
midnight  

 couldn't they see better if they was to wait till daytime  

 yes   and couldn't the nigger see better  too   after midnight he'll
likely be asleep  and they can slip around through the woods and hunt up
his camp fire all the better for the dark  if he's got one  

 i didn't think of that  

the woman kept looking at me pretty curious  and i didn't feel a bit
comfortable   pretty soon she says 

 what did you say your name was  honey  

 m mary williams  

somehow it didn't seem to me that i said it was mary before  so i didn't
look up seemed to me i said it was sarah  so i felt sort of cornered 
and was afeared maybe i was looking it  too   i wished the woman would
say something more  the longer she set still the uneasier i was   but now
she says 

 honey  i thought you said it was sarah when you first come in  

 oh  yes'm  i did   sarah mary williams   sarah's my first name   some
calls me sarah  some calls me mary  

 oh  that's the way of it  

 yes'm  

i was feeling better then  but i wished i was out of there  anyway   i
couldn't look up yet 

well  the woman fell to talking about how hard times was  and how poor
they had to live  and how the rats was as free as if they owned the
place  and so forth and so on  and then i got easy again   she was right
about the rats  you'd see one stick his nose out of a hole in the corner
every little while   she said she had to have things handy to throw at
them when she was alone  or they wouldn't give her no peace   she showed
me a bar of lead twisted up into a knot  and said she was a good shot
with it generly  but she'd wrenched her arm a day or two ago  and didn't
know whether she could throw true now   but she watched for a chance  and
directly banged away at a rat  but she missed him wide  and said  ouch! 
it hurt her arm so   then she told me to try for the next one   i wanted
to be getting away before the old man got back  but of course i didn't
let on   i got the thing  and the first rat that showed his nose i let
drive  and if he'd a stayed where he was he'd a been a tolerable sick
rat   she said that was first-rate  and she reckoned i would hive the
next one   she went and got the lump of lead and fetched it back  and
brought along a hank of yarn which she wanted me to help her with   i
held up my two hands and she put the hank over them  and went on talking
about her and her husband's matters   but she broke off to say 

 keep your eye on the rats   you better have the lead in your lap 
handy  

so she dropped the lump into my lap just at that moment  and i clapped my
legs together on it and she went on talking   but only about a minute 
then she took off the hank and looked me straight in the face  and very
pleasant  and says 

 come  now  what's your real name  

 wh what  mum  

 what's your real name   is it bill  or tom  or bob  or what is it  

i reckon i shook like a leaf  and i didn't know hardly what to do   but i
says 

 please to don't poke fun at a poor girl like me  mum   if i'm in the way
here  i'll  

 no  you won't   set down and stay where you are   i ain't going to hurt
you  and i ain't going to tell on you  nuther   you just tell me your
secret  and trust me   i'll keep it  and  what's more  i'll help you 
so'll my old man if you want him to   you see  you're a runaway
'prentice  that's all   it ain't anything   there ain't no harm in it 
you've been treated bad  and you made up your mind to cut   bless you 
child  i wouldn't tell on you   tell me all about it now  that's a good
boy  

so i said it wouldn't be no use to try to play it any longer  and i would
just make a clean breast and tell her everything  but she musn't go back
on her promise   then i told her my father and mother was dead  and the
law had bound me out to a mean old farmer in the country thirty mile back
from the river  and he treated me so bad i couldn't stand it no longer 
he went away to be gone a couple of days  and so i took my chance and
stole some of his daughter's old clothes and cleared out  and i had been
three nights coming the thirty miles   i traveled nights  and hid
daytimes and slept  and the bag of bread and meat i carried from home
lasted me all the way  and i had a-plenty   i said i believed my uncle
abner moore would take care of me  and so that was why i struck out for
this town of goshen 

 goshen  child   this ain't goshen   this is st  petersburg   goshen's
ten mile further up the river   who told you this was goshen  

 why  a man i met at daybreak this morning  just as i was going to turn
into the woods for my regular sleep   he told me when the roads forked i
must take the right hand  and five mile would fetch me to goshen  

 he was drunk  i reckon   he told you just exactly wrong  

 well  he did act like he was drunk  but it ain't no matter now   i got
to be moving along   i'll fetch goshen before daylight  

 hold on a minute   i'll put you up a snack to eat   you might want it  

so she put me up a snack  and says 

 say  when a cow's laying down  which end of her gets up first   answer
up prompt now don't stop to study over it   which end gets up first  

 the hind end  mum  

 well  then  a horse  

 the for'rard end  mum  

 which side of a tree does the moss grow on  

 north side  

 if fifteen cows is browsing on a hillside  how many of them eats with
their heads pointed the same direction  

 the whole fifteen  mum  

 well  i reckon you have lived in the country   i thought maybe you was
trying to hocus me again   what's your real name  now  

 george peters  mum  

 well  try to remember it  george   don't forget and tell me it's
elexander before you go  and then get out by saying it's george elexander
when i catch you   and don't go about women in that old calico   you do a
girl tolerable poor  but you might fool men  maybe   bless you  child 
when you set out to thread a needle don't hold the thread still and fetch
the needle up to it  hold the needle still and poke the thread at it 
that's the way a woman most always does  but a man always does t'other
way   and when you throw at a rat or anything  hitch yourself up a tiptoe
and fetch your hand up over your head as awkward as you can  and miss
your rat about six or seven foot  throw stiff-armed from the shoulder 
like there was a pivot there for it to turn on  like a girl  not from the
wrist and elbow  with your arm out to one side  like a boy   and  mind
you  when a girl tries to catch anything in her lap she throws her knees
apart  she don't clap them together  the way you did when you catched the
lump of lead   why  i spotted you for a boy when you was threading the
needle  and i contrived the other things just to make certain   now trot
along to your uncle  sarah mary williams george elexander peters  and if
you get into trouble you send word to mrs  judith loftus  which is me 
and i'll do what i can to get you out of it   keep the river road all the
way  and next time you tramp take shoes and socks with you  the river
road's a rocky one  and your feet'll be in a condition when you get to
goshen  i reckon  

i went up the bank about fifty yards  and then i doubled on my tracks and
slipped back to where my canoe was  a good piece below the house   i
jumped in  and was off in a hurry   i went up-stream far enough to make
the head of the island  and then started across   i took off the
sun-bonnet  for i didn't want no blinders on then   when i was about the
middle i heard the clock begin to strike  so i stops and listens  the
sound come faint over the water but clear eleven   when i struck the
head of the island i never waited to blow  though i was most winded  but
i shoved right into the timber where my old camp used to be  and started
a good fire there on a high and dry spot 

then i jumped in the canoe and dug out for our place  a mile and a half
below  as hard as i could go   i landed  and slopped through the timber
and up the ridge and into the cavern   there jim laid  sound asleep on
the ground   i roused him out and says 

 git up and hump yourself  jim!  there ain't a minute to lose   they're
after us! 

jim never asked no questions  he never said a word  but the way he worked
for the next half an hour showed about how he was scared   by that time
everything we had in the world was on our raft  and she was ready to be
shoved out from the willow cove where she was hid   we put out the camp
fire at the cavern the first thing  and didn't show a candle outside
after that 

i took the canoe out from the shore a little piece  and took a look  but
if there was a boat around i couldn't see it  for stars and shadows ain't
good to see by   then we got out the raft and slipped along down in the
shade  past the foot of the island dead still never saying a word 




it must a been close on to one o'clock when we got below the island at
last  and the raft did seem to go mighty slow   if a boat was to come
along we was going to take to the canoe and break for the illinois shore 
and it was well a boat didn't come  for we hadn't ever thought to put the
gun in the canoe  or a fishing-line  or anything to eat   we was in
ruther too much of a sweat to think of so many things   it warn't good
judgment to put everything on the raft 

if the men went to the island i just expect they found the camp fire i
built  and watched it all night for jim to come   anyways  they stayed
away from us  and if my building the fire never fooled them it warn't no
fault of mine   i played it as low down on them as i could 

when the first streak of day began to show we tied up to a towhead in a
big bend on the illinois side  and hacked off cottonwood branches with
the hatchet  and covered up the raft with them so she looked like there
had been a cave-in in the bank there   a tow-head is a sandbar that has
cottonwoods on it as thick as harrow-teeth 

we had mountains on the missouri shore and heavy timber on the illinois
side  and the channel was down the missouri shore at that place  so we
warn't afraid of anybody running across us   we laid there all day  and
watched the rafts and steamboats spin down the missouri shore  and
up-bound steamboats fight the big river in the middle   i told jim all
about the time i had jabbering with that woman  and jim said she was a
smart one  and if she was to start after us herself she wouldn't set down
and watch a camp fire no  sir  she'd fetch a dog   well  then  i said 
why couldn't she tell her husband to fetch a dog   jim said he bet she
did think of it by the time the men was ready to start  and he believed
they must a gone up-town to get a dog and so they lost all that time  or
else we wouldn't be here on a towhead sixteen or seventeen mile below the
village no  indeedy  we would be in that same old town again   so i said
i didn't care what was the reason they didn't get us as long as they
didn't 

when it was beginning to come on dark we poked our heads out of the
cottonwood thicket  and looked up and down and across  nothing in sight 
so jim took up some of the top planks of the raft and built a snug wigwam
to get under in blazing weather and rainy  and to keep the things dry 
jim made a floor for the wigwam  and raised it a foot or more above the
level of the raft  so now the blankets and all the traps was out of reach
of steamboat waves   right in the middle of the wigwam we made a layer of
dirt about five or six inches deep with a frame around it for to hold it
to its place  this was to build a fire on in sloppy weather or chilly 
the wigwam would keep it from being seen   we made an extra steering-oar 
too  because one of the others might get broke on a snag or something 
we fixed up a short forked stick to hang the old lantern on  because we
must always light the lantern whenever we see a steamboat coming
down-stream  to keep from getting run over  but we wouldn't have to light
it for up-stream boats unless we see we was in what they call a
 crossing   for the river was pretty high yet  very low banks being still
a little under water  so up-bound boats didn't always run the channel 
but hunted easy water 

this second night we run between seven and eight hours  with a current
that was making over four mile an hour   we catched fish and talked  and
we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness   it was kind of
solemn  drifting down the big  still river  laying on our backs looking
up at the stars  and we didn't ever feel like talking loud  and it warn't
often that we laughed only a little kind of a low chuckle   we had
mighty good weather as a general thing  and nothing ever happened to us
at all that night  nor the next  nor the next 

every night we passed towns  some of them away up on black hillsides 
nothing but just a shiny bed of lights  not a house could you see   the
fifth night we passed st  louis  and it was like the whole world lit up 
in st  petersburg they used to say there was twenty or thirty thousand
people in st  louis  but i never believed it till i see that wonderful
spread of lights at two o'clock that still night   there warn't a sound
there  everybody was asleep 

every night now i used to slip ashore towards ten o'clock at some little
village  and buy ten or fifteen cents' worth of meal or bacon or other
stuff to eat  and sometimes i lifted a chicken that warn't roosting
comfortable  and took him along   pap always said  take a chicken when
you get a chance  because if you don't want him yourself you can easy
find somebody that does  and a good deed ain't ever forgot   i never see
pap when he didn't want the chicken himself  but that is what he used to
say  anyway 

mornings before daylight i slipped into cornfields and borrowed a
watermelon  or a mushmelon  or a punkin  or some new corn  or things of
that kind   pap always said it warn't no harm to borrow things if you was
meaning to pay them back some time  but the widow said it warn't anything
but a soft name for stealing  and no decent body would do it   jim said
he reckoned the widow was partly right and pap was partly right  so the
best way would be for us to pick out two or three things from the list
and say we wouldn't borrow them any more then he reckoned it wouldn't be
no harm to borrow the others   so we talked it over all one night 
drifting along down the river  trying to make up our minds whether to
drop the watermelons  or the cantelopes  or the mushmelons  or what   but
towards daylight we got it all settled satisfactory  and concluded to
drop crabapples and p'simmons   we warn't feeling just right before that 
but it was all comfortable now   i was glad the way it come out  too 
because crabapples ain't ever good  and the p'simmons wouldn't be ripe
for two or three months yet 

we shot a water-fowl now and then that got up too early in the morning or
didn't go to bed early enough in the evening   take it all round  we
lived pretty high 

the fifth night below st  louis we had a big storm after midnight  with a
power of thunder and lightning  and the rain poured down in a solid
sheet  we stayed in the wigwam and let the raft take care of itself 
when the lightning glared out we could see a big straight river ahead 
and high  rocky bluffs on both sides   by and by says i   hel-lo  jim 
looky yonder!  it was a steamboat that had killed herself on a rock   we
was drifting straight down for her   the lightning showed her very
distinct   she was leaning over  with part of her upper deck above water 
and you could see every little chimbly-guy clean and clear  and a chair
by the big bell  with an old slouch hat hanging on the back of it  when
the flashes come 

well  it being away in the night and stormy  and all so mysterious-like 
i felt just the way any other boy would a felt when i see that wreck
laying there so mournful and lonesome in the middle of the river   i
wanted to get aboard of her and slink around a little  and see what there
was there   so i says 

 le's land on her  jim  

but jim was dead against it at first   he says 

 i doan' want to go fool'n 'long er no wrack   we's doin' blame' well  en
we better let blame' well alone  as de good book says   like as not dey's
a watchman on dat wrack  

 watchman your grandmother   i says   there ain't nothing to watch but
the texas and the pilot-house  and do you reckon anybody's going to resk
his life for a texas and a pilot-house such a night as this  when it's
likely to break up and wash off down the river any minute    jim couldn't
say nothing to that  so he didn't try    and besides   i says   we might
borrow something worth having out of the captain's stateroom   seegars  i
bet you and cost five cents apiece  solid cash   steamboat captains is
always rich  and get sixty dollars a month  and they don't care a cent
what a thing costs  you know  long as they want it   stick a candle in
your pocket  i can't rest  jim  till we give her a rummaging   do you
reckon tom sawyer would ever go by this thing   not for pie  he wouldn't 
he'd call it an adventure that's what he'd call it  and he'd land on
that wreck if it was his last act   and wouldn't he throw style into it 
 wouldn't he spread himself  nor nothing   why  you'd think it was
christopher c'lumbus discovering kingdom-come   i wish tom sawyer was
here  

jim he grumbled a little  but give in   he said we mustn't talk any more
than we could help  and then talk mighty low   the lightning showed us
the wreck again just in time  and we fetched the stabboard derrick  and
made fast there 

the deck was high out here   we went sneaking down the slope of it to
labboard  in the dark  towards the texas  feeling our way slow with our
feet  and spreading our hands out to fend off the guys  for it was so
dark we couldn't see no sign of them   pretty soon we struck the forward
end of the skylight  and clumb on to it  and the next step fetched us in
front of the captain's door  which was open  and by jimminy  away down
through the texas-hall we see a light! and all in the same second we seem
to hear low voices in yonder!

jim whispered and said he was feeling powerful sick  and told me to come
along   i says  all right  and was going to start for the raft  but just
then i heard a voice wail out and say 

 oh  please don't  boys  i swear i won't ever tell! 

another voice said  pretty loud 

 it's a lie  jim turner   you've acted this way before   you always want
more'n your share of the truck  and you've always got it  too  because
you've swore 't if you didn't you'd tell   but this time you've said it
jest one time too many   you're the meanest  treacherousest hound in this
country  

by this time jim was gone for the raft   i was just a-biling with
curiosity  and i says to myself  tom sawyer wouldn't back out now  and so
i won't either  i'm a-going to see what's going on here   so i dropped on
my hands and knees in the little passage  and crept aft in the dark till
there warn't but one stateroom betwixt me and the cross-hall of the
texas   then in there i see a man stretched on the floor and tied hand
and foot  and two men standing over him  and one of them had a dim
lantern in his hand  and the other one had a pistol   this one kept
pointing the pistol at the man's head on the floor  and saying 

 i'd like to!  and i orter  too a mean skunk! 

the man on the floor would shrivel up and say   oh  please don't  bill  i
hain't ever goin' to tell  

and every time he said that the man with the lantern would laugh and say 

 'deed you ain't!  you never said no truer thing 'n that  you bet you  
and once he said    hear him beg! and yit if we hadn't got the best of
him and tied him he'd a killed us both   and what for   jist for noth'n 
jist because we stood on our rights that's what for   but i lay you
ain't a-goin' to threaten nobody any more  jim turner   put up that
pistol  bill  

bill says 

 i don't want to  jake packard   i'm for killin' him and didn't he kill
old hatfield jist the same way and don't he deserve it  

 but i don't want him killed  and i've got my reasons for it  

 bless yo' heart for them words  jake packard!  i'll never forgit you
long's i live!  says the man on the floor  sort of blubbering 

packard didn't take no notice of that  but hung up his lantern on a nail
and started towards where i was there in the dark  and motioned bill to
come   i crawfished as fast as i could about two yards  but the boat
slanted so that i couldn't make very good time  so to keep from getting
run over and catched i crawled into a stateroom on the upper side   the
man came a-pawing along in the dark  and when packard got to my
stateroom  he says 

 here come in here  

and in he come  and bill after him   but before they got in i was up in
the upper berth  cornered  and sorry i come   then they stood there  with
their hands on the ledge of the berth  and talked   i couldn't see them 
but i could tell where they was by the whisky they'd been having   i was
glad i didn't drink whisky  but it wouldn't made much difference anyway 
because most of the time they couldn't a treed me because i didn't
breathe   i was too scared   and  besides  a body couldn't breathe and
hear such talk   they talked low and earnest   bill wanted to kill
turner   he says 

 he's said he'll tell  and he will   if we was to give both our shares to
him now it wouldn't make no difference after the row and the way we've
served him   shore's you're born  he'll turn state's evidence  now you
hear me   i'm for putting him out of his troubles  

 so'm i   says packard  very quiet 

 blame it  i'd sorter begun to think you wasn't   well  then  that's all
right   le's go and do it  

 hold on a minute  i hain't had my say yit   you listen to me 
shooting's good  but there's quieter ways if the thing's got to be done 
but what i say is this   it ain't good sense to go court'n around after a
halter if you can git at what you're up to in some way that's jist as
good and at the same time don't bring you into no resks   ain't that so  

 you bet it is   but how you goin' to manage it this time  

 well  my idea is this   we'll rustle around and gather up whatever
pickins we've overlooked in the staterooms  and shove for shore and hide
the truck  then we'll wait   now i say it ain't a-goin' to be more'n two
hours befo' this wrack breaks up and washes off down the river   see 
he'll be drownded  and won't have nobody to blame for it but his own
self   i reckon that's a considerble sight better 'n killin' of him   i'm
unfavorable to killin' a man as long as you can git aroun' it  it ain't
good sense  it ain't good morals   ain't i right  

 yes  i reck'n you are   but s'pose she don't break up and wash off  

 well  we can wait the two hours anyway and see  can't we  

 all right  then  come along  

so they started  and i lit out  all in a cold sweat  and scrambled
forward  it was dark as pitch there  but i said  in a kind of a coarse
whisper   jim!  and he answered up  right at my elbow  with a sort of a
moan  and i says 

 quick  jim  it ain't no time for fooling around and moaning  there's a
gang of murderers in yonder  and if we don't hunt up their boat and set
her drifting down the river so these fellows can't get away from the
wreck there's one of 'em going to be in a bad fix   but if we find their
boat we can put all of 'em in a bad fix for the sheriff 'll get 'em 
quick hurry!  i'll hunt the labboard side  you hunt the stabboard 
you start at the raft  and  

 oh  my lordy  lordy!  raf'   dey ain' no raf' no mo'  she done broke
loose en gone i en here we is! 




well  i catched my breath and most fainted   shut up on a wreck with such
a gang as that!  but it warn't no time to be sentimentering   we'd got to
find that boat now had to have it for ourselves   so we went a-quaking
and shaking down the stabboard side  and slow work it was  too seemed a
week before we got to the stern   no sign of a boat   jim said he didn't
believe he could go any further so scared he hadn't hardly any strength
left  he said   but i said  come on  if we get left on this wreck we are
in a fix  sure   so on we prowled again   we struck for the stern of the
texas  and found it  and then scrabbled along forwards on the skylight 
hanging on from shutter to shutter  for the edge of the skylight was in
the water   when we got pretty close to the cross-hall door there was the
skiff  sure enough!  i could just barely see her   i felt ever so
thankful   in another second i would a been aboard of her  but just then
the door opened   one of the men stuck his head out only about a couple
of foot from me  and i thought i was gone  but he jerked it in again  and
says 

 heave that blame lantern out o' sight  bill! 

he flung a bag of something into the boat  and then got in himself and
set down   it was packard   then bill he come out and got in   packard
says  in a low voice 

 all ready shove off! 

i couldn't hardly hang on to the shutters  i was so weak   but bill says 

 hold on 'd you go through him  

 no   didn't you  

 no   so he's got his share o' the cash yet  

 well  then  come along  no use to take truck and leave money  

 say  won't he suspicion what we're up to  

 maybe he won't   but we got to have it anyway  come along  

so they got out and went in 

the door slammed to because it was on the careened side  and in a half
second i was in the boat  and jim come tumbling after me   i out with my
knife and cut the rope  and away we went!

we didn't touch an oar  and we didn't speak nor whisper  nor hardly even
breathe   we went gliding swift along  dead silent  past the tip of the
paddle-box  and past the stern  then in a second or two more we was a
hundred yards below the wreck  and the darkness soaked her up  every last
sign of her  and we was safe  and knowed it 

when we was three or four hundred yards down-stream we see the lantern
show like a little spark at the texas door for a second  and we knowed by
that that the rascals had missed their boat  and was beginning to
understand that they was in just as much trouble now as jim turner was 

then jim manned the oars  and we took out after our raft   now was the
first time that i begun to worry about the men i reckon i hadn't had
time to before   i begun to think how dreadful it was  even for
murderers  to be in such a fix   i says to myself  there ain't no telling
but i might come to be a murderer myself yet  and then how would i like
it   so says i to jim 

 the first light we see we'll land a hundred yards below it or above it 
in a place where it's a good hiding-place for you and the skiff  and then
i'll go and fix up some kind of a yarn  and get somebody to go for that
gang and get them out of their scrape  so they can be hung when their
time comes  

but that idea was a failure  for pretty soon it begun to storm again  and
this time worse than ever   the rain poured down  and never a light
showed  everybody in bed  i reckon   we boomed along down the river 
watching for lights and watching for our raft   after a long time the
rain let up  but the clouds stayed  and the lightning kept whimpering 
and by and by a flash showed us a black thing ahead  floating  and we
made for it 

it was the raft  and mighty glad was we to get aboard of it again   we
seen a light now away down to the right  on shore   so i said i would go
for it  the skiff was half full of plunder which that gang had stole
there on the wreck   we hustled it on to the raft in a pile  and i told
jim to float along down  and show a light when he judged he had gone
about two mile  and keep it burning till i come  then i manned my oars
and shoved for the light   as i got down towards it three or four more
showed up on a hillside   it was a village   i closed in above the shore
light  and laid on my oars and floated   as i went by i see it was a
lantern hanging on the jackstaff of a double-hull ferryboat   i skimmed
around for the watchman  a-wondering whereabouts he slept  and by and by
i found him roosting on the bitts forward  with his head down between his
knees   i gave his shoulder two or three little shoves  and begun to cry 

he stirred up in a kind of a startlish way  but when he see it was only
me he took a good gap and stretch  and then he says 

 hello  what's up   don't cry  bub   what's the trouble  

i says 

 pap  and mam  and sis  and  

then i broke down   he says 

 oh  dang it now  don't take on so  we all has to have our troubles  and
this 'n 'll come out all right   what's the matter with 'em  

 they're they're are you the watchman of the boat  

 yes   he says  kind of pretty-well-satisfied like    i'm the captain and
the owner and the mate and the pilot and watchman and head deck-hand  and
sometimes i'm the freight and passengers   i ain't as rich as old jim
hornback  and i can't be so blame' generous and good to tom  dick  and
harry as what he is  and slam around money the way he does  but i've told
him a many a time 't i wouldn't trade places with him  for  says i  a
sailor's life's the life for me  and i'm derned if i'd live two mile out
o' town  where there ain't nothing ever goin' on  not for all his
spondulicks and as much more on top of it   says i  

i broke in and says 

 they're in an awful peck of trouble  and  

 who is  

 why  pap and mam and sis and miss hooker  and if you'd take your
ferryboat and go up there  

 up where   where are they  

 on the wreck  

 what wreck  

 why  there ain't but one  

 what  you don't mean the walter scott  

 yes  

 good land! what are they doin' there  for gracious sakes  

 well  they didn't go there a-purpose  

 i bet they didn't!  why  great goodness  there ain't no chance for 'em
if they don't git off mighty quick!  why  how in the nation did they ever
git into such a scrape  

 easy enough   miss hooker was a-visiting up there to the town  

 yes  booth's landing go on  

 she was a-visiting there at booth's landing  and just in the edge of the
evening she started over with her nigger woman in the horse-ferry to stay
all night at her friend's house  miss what-you-may-call-her i disremember
her name and they lost their steering-oar  and swung around and went
a-floating down  stern first  about two mile  and saddle-baggsed on the
wreck  and the ferryman and the nigger woman and the horses was all lost 
but miss hooker she made a grab and got aboard the wreck   well  about an
hour after dark we come along down in our trading-scow  and it was so
dark we didn't notice the wreck till we was right on it  and so we
saddle-baggsed  but all of us was saved but bill whipple and oh  he was
the best cretur! i most wish 't it had been me  i do  

 my george!  it's the beatenest thing i ever struck   and then what did
you all do  

 well  we hollered and took on  but it's so wide there we couldn't make
nobody hear   so pap said somebody got to get ashore and get help
somehow  i was the only one that could swim  so i made a dash for it  and
miss hooker she said if i didn't strike help sooner  come here and hunt
up her uncle  and he'd fix the thing   i made the land about a mile
below  and been fooling along ever since  trying to get people to do
something  but they said  'what  in such a night and such a current 
there ain't no sense in it  go for the steam ferry '  now if you'll go
and  

 by jackson  i'd like to  and  blame it  i don't know but i will  but who
in the dingnation's a-going' to pay for it   do you reckon your pap  

 why that's all right   miss hooker she tole me  particular  that her
uncle hornback  

 great guns! is he her uncle   looky here  you break for that light over
yonder-way  and turn out west when you git there  and about a quarter of
a mile out you'll come to the tavern  tell 'em to dart you out to jim
hornback's  and he'll foot the bill   and don't you fool around any 
because he'll want to know the news   tell him i'll have his niece all
safe before he can get to town   hump yourself  now  i'm a-going up
around the corner here to roust out my engineer  

i struck for the light  but as soon as he turned the corner i went back
and got into my skiff and bailed her out  and then pulled up shore in the
easy water about six hundred yards  and tucked myself in among some
woodboats  for i couldn't rest easy till i could see the ferryboat start 
but take it all around  i was feeling ruther comfortable on accounts of
taking all this trouble for that gang  for not many would a done it   i
wished the widow knowed about it   i judged she would be proud of me for
helping these rapscallions  because rapscallions and dead beats is the
kind the widow and good people takes the most interest in 

well  before long here comes the wreck  dim and dusky  sliding along
down! a kind of cold shiver went through me  and then i struck out for
her   she was very deep  and i see in a minute there warn't much chance
for anybody being alive in her   i pulled all around her and hollered a
little  but there wasn't any answer  all dead still   i felt a little bit
heavy-hearted about the gang  but not much  for i reckoned if they could
stand it i could 

then here comes the ferryboat  so i shoved for the middle of the river on
a long down-stream slant  and when i judged i was out of eye-reach i laid
on my oars  and looked back and see her go and smell around the wreck for
miss hooker's remainders  because the captain would know her uncle
hornback would want them  and then pretty soon the ferryboat give it up
and went for the shore  and i laid into my work and went a-booming down
the river 

it did seem a powerful long time before jim's light showed up  and when
it did show it looked like it was a thousand mile off   by the time i got
there the sky was beginning to get a little gray in the east  so we
struck for an island  and hid the raft  and sunk the skiff  and turned in
and slept like dead people 




by and by  when we got up  we turned over the truck the gang had stole
off of the wreck  and found boots  and blankets  and clothes  and all
sorts of other things  and a lot of books  and a spyglass  and three
boxes of seegars   we hadn't ever been this rich before in neither of our
lives   the seegars was prime   we laid off all the afternoon in the
woods talking  and me reading the books  and having a general good time 
i told jim all about what happened inside the wreck and at the ferryboat 
and i said these kinds of things was adventures  but he said he didn't
want no more adventures   he said that when i went in the texas and he
crawled back to get on the raft and found her gone he nearly died 
because he judged it was all up with him anyway it could be fixed  for if
he didn't get saved he would get drownded  and if he did get saved 
whoever saved him would send him back home so as to get the reward  and
then miss watson would sell him south  sure   well  he was right  he was
most always right  he had an uncommon level head for a nigger 

i read considerable to jim about kings and dukes and earls and such  and
how gaudy they dressed  and how much style they put on  and called each
other your majesty  and your grace  and your lordship  and so on  'stead
of mister  and jim's eyes bugged out  and he was interested   he says 

 i didn' know dey was so many un um   i hain't hearn 'bout none un um 
skasely  but ole king sollermun  onless you counts dem kings dat's in a
pack er k'yards   how much do a king git  

 get    i says   why  they get a thousand dollars a month if they want
it  they can have just as much as they want  everything belongs to them  

 ain' dat gay   en what dey got to do  huck  

 they don't do nothing!  why  how you talk! they just set around  

 no  is dat so  

 of course it is   they just set around except  maybe  when there's a
war  then they go to the war   but other times they just lazy around  or
go hawking just hawking and sp sh! d' you hear a noise  

we skipped out and looked  but it warn't nothing but the flutter of a
steamboat's wheel away down  coming around the point  so we come back 

 yes   says i   and other times  when things is dull  they fuss with the
parlyment  and if everybody don't go just so he whacks their heads off 
but mostly they hang round the harem  

 roun' de which  

 harem  

 what's de harem  

 the place where he keeps his wives   don't you know about the harem 
solomon had one  he had about a million wives  

 why  yes  dat's so  i i'd done forgot it   a harem's a bo'd'n-house  i
reck'n   mos' likely dey has rackety times in de nussery   en i reck'n de
wives quarrels considable  en dat 'crease de racket   yit dey say
sollermun de wises' man dat ever live'   i doan' take no stock in dat 
bekase why  would a wise man want to live in de mids' er sich a
blim-blammin' all de time   no 'deed he wouldn't   a wise man 'ud take
en buil' a biler-factry  en den he could shet down de biler-factry when
he want to res'  

 well  but he was the wisest man  anyway  because the widow she told me
so  her own self  

 i doan k'yer what de widder say  he warn't no wise man nuther   he had
some er de dad-fetchedes' ways i ever see   does you know 'bout dat chile
dat he 'uz gwyne to chop in two  

 yes  the widow told me all about it  

 well  den!  warn' dat de beatenes' notion in de worl'   you jes' take en
look at it a minute   dah's de stump  dah dat's one er de women  heah's
you dat's de yuther one  i's sollermun  en dish yer dollar bill's de
chile   bofe un you claims it   what does i do   does i shin aroun'
mongs' de neighbors en fine out which un you de bill do b'long to  en
han' it over to de right one  all safe en soun'  de way dat anybody dat
had any gumption would   no  i take en whack de bill in two  en give half
un it to you  en de yuther half to de yuther woman   dat's de way
sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile   now i want to ast you   what's
de use er dat half a bill  can't buy noth'n wid it   en what use is a
half a chile   i wouldn' give a dern for a million un um  

 but hang it  jim  you've clean missed the point blame it  you've missed
it a thousand mile  

 who   me   go 'long   doan' talk to me 'bout yo' pints   i reck'n i
knows sense when i sees it  en dey ain' no sense in sich doin's as dat 
de 'spute warn't 'bout a half a chile  de 'spute was 'bout a whole chile 
en de man dat think he kin settle a 'spute 'bout a whole chile wid a half
a chile doan' know enough to come in out'n de rain   doan' talk to me
'bout sollermun  huck  i knows him by de back  

 but i tell you you don't get the point  

 blame de point!  i reck'n i knows what i knows   en mine you  de real
pint is down furder it's down deeper   it lays in de way sollermun was
raised   you take a man dat's got on'y one or two chillen  is dat man
gwyne to be waseful o' chillen   no  he ain't  he can't 'ford it   he
know how to value 'em   but you take a man dat's got 'bout five million
chillen runnin' roun' de house  en it's diffunt   he as soon chop a chile
in two as a cat  dey's plenty mo'   a chile er two  mo' er less  warn't
no consekens to sollermun  dad fatch him! 

i never see such a nigger   if he got a notion in his head once  there
warn't no getting it out again   he was the most down on solomon of any
nigger i ever see   so i went to talking about other kings  and let
solomon slide   i told about louis sixteenth that got his head cut off in
france long time ago  and about his little boy the dolphin  that would a
been a king  but they took and shut him up in jail  and some say he died
there 

 po' little chap  

 but some says he got out and got away  and come to america  

 dat's good!  but he'll be pooty lonesome dey ain' no kings here  is
dey  huck  

 no  

 den he cain't git no situation   what he gwyne to do  

 well  i don't know   some of them gets on the police  and some of them
learns people how to talk french  

 why  huck  doan' de french people talk de same way we does  

 no  jim  you couldn't understand a word they said not a single word  

 well  now  i be ding-busted!  how do dat come  

 i don't know  but it's so   i got some of their jabber out of a book 
s'pose a man was to come to you and say polly-voo-franzy what would you
think  

 i wouldn' think nuff'n  i'd take en bust him over de head dat is  if he
warn't white   i wouldn't 'low no nigger to call me dat  

 shucks  it ain't calling you anything   it's only saying  do you know
how to talk french  

 well  den  why couldn't he say it  

 why  he is a-saying it   that's a frenchman's way of saying it  

 well  it's a blame ridicklous way  en i doan' want to hear no mo' 'bout
it   dey ain' no sense in it  

 looky here  jim  does a cat talk like we do  

 no  a cat don't  

 well  does a cow  

 no  a cow don't  nuther  

 does a cat talk like a cow  or a cow talk like a cat  

 no  dey don't  

 it's natural and right for 'em to talk different from each other  ain't
it  

 course  

 and ain't it natural and right for a cat and a cow to talk different
from us  

 why  mos' sholy it is  

 well  then  why ain't it natural and right for a frenchman to talk
different from us   you answer me that  

 is a cat a man  huck  

 no  

 well  den  dey ain't no sense in a cat talkin' like a man   is a cow a
man  er is a cow a cat  

 no  she ain't either of them  

 well  den  she ain't got no business to talk like either one er the
yuther of 'em   is a frenchman a man  

 yes  

 well  den!  dad blame it  why doan' he talk like a man   you answer me
dat! 

i see it warn't no use wasting words you can't learn a nigger to argue 
so i quit 




we judged that three nights more would fetch us to cairo  at the bottom
of illinois  where the ohio river comes in  and that was what we was
after   we would sell the raft and get on a steamboat and go way up the
ohio amongst the free states  and then be out of trouble 

well  the second night a fog begun to come on  and we made for a towhead
to tie to  for it wouldn't do to try to run in a fog  but when i paddled
ahead in the canoe  with the line to make fast  there warn't anything but
little saplings to tie to   i passed the line around one of them right on
the edge of the cut bank  but there was a stiff current  and the raft
come booming down so lively she tore it out by the roots and away she
went   i see the fog closing down  and it made me so sick and scared i
couldn't budge for most a half a minute it seemed to me and then there
warn't no raft in sight  you couldn't see twenty yards   i jumped into
the canoe and run back to the stern  and grabbed the paddle and set her
back a stroke   but she didn't come   i was in such a hurry i hadn't
untied her   i got up and tried to untie her  but i was so excited my
hands shook so i couldn't hardly do anything with them 

as soon as i got started i took out after the raft  hot and heavy  right
down the towhead   that was all right as far as it went  but the towhead
warn't sixty yards long  and the minute i flew by the foot of it i shot
out into the solid white fog  and hadn't no more idea which way i was
going than a dead man 

thinks i  it won't do to paddle  first i know i'll run into the bank or a
towhead or something  i got to set still and float  and yet it's mighty
fidgety business to have to hold your hands still at such a time   i
whooped and listened   away down there somewheres i hears a small whoop 
and up comes my spirits   i went tearing after it  listening sharp to
hear it again   the next time it come i see i warn't heading for it  but
heading away to the right of it   and the next time i was heading away to
the left of it and not gaining on it much either  for i was flying
around  this way and that and t'other  but it was going straight ahead
all the time 

i did wish the fool would think to beat a tin pan  and beat it all the
time  but he never did  and it was the still places between the whoops
that was making the trouble for me   well  i fought along  and directly i
hears the whoop behind me   i was tangled good now   that was somebody
else's whoop  or else i was turned around 

i throwed the paddle down   i heard the whoop again  it was behind me
yet  but in a different place  it kept coming  and kept changing its
place  and i kept answering  till by and by it was in front of me again 
and i knowed the current had swung the canoe's head down-stream  and i
was all right if that was jim and not some other raftsman hollering   i
couldn't tell nothing about voices in a fog  for nothing don't look
natural nor sound natural in a fog 

the whooping went on  and in about a minute i come a-booming down on a
cut bank with smoky ghosts of big trees on it  and the current throwed me
off to the left and shot by  amongst a lot of snags that fairly roared 
the currrent was tearing by them so swift 

in another second or two it was solid white and still again   i set
perfectly still then  listening to my heart thump  and i reckon i didn't
draw a breath while it thumped a hundred 

i just give up then   i knowed what the matter was   that cut bank was an
island  and jim had gone down t'other side of it   it warn't no towhead
that you could float by in ten minutes   it had the big timber of a
regular island  it might be five or six miles long and more than half a
mile wide 

i kept quiet  with my ears cocked  about fifteen minutes  i reckon   i
was floating along  of course  four or five miles an hour  but you don't
ever think of that   no  you feel like you are laying dead still on the
water  and if a little glimpse of a snag slips by you don't think to
yourself how fast you're going  but you catch your breath and think  my!
how that snag's tearing along   if you think it ain't dismal and lonesome
out in a fog that way by yourself in the night  you try it once you'll
see 

next  for about a half an hour  i whoops now and then  at last i hears
the answer a long ways off  and tries to follow it  but i couldn't do it 
and directly i judged i'd got into a nest of towheads  for i had little
dim glimpses of them on both sides of me sometimes just a narrow channel
between  and some that i couldn't see i knowed was there because i'd hear
the wash of the current against the old dead brush and trash that hung
over the banks   well  i warn't long loosing the whoops down amongst the
towheads  and i only tried to chase them a little while  anyway  because
it was worse than chasing a jack-o'-lantern   you never knowed a sound
dodge around so  and swap places so quick and so much 

i had to claw away from the bank pretty lively four or five times  to
keep from knocking the islands out of the river  and so i judged the raft
must be butting into the bank every now and then  or else it would get
further ahead and clear out of hearing it was floating a little faster
than what i was 

well  i seemed to be in the open river again by and by  but i couldn't
hear no sign of a whoop nowheres   i reckoned jim had fetched up on a
snag  maybe  and it was all up with him   i was good and tired  so i laid
down in the canoe and said i wouldn't bother no more   i didn't want to
go to sleep  of course  but i was so sleepy i couldn't help it  so i
thought i would take jest one little cat-nap 

but i reckon it was more than a cat-nap  for when i waked up the stars
was shining bright  the fog was all gone  and i was spinning down a big
bend stern first   first i didn't know where i was  i thought i was
dreaming  and when things began to come back to me they seemed to come up
dim out of last week 

it was a monstrous big river here  with the tallest and the thickest kind
of timber on both banks  just a solid wall  as well as i could see by the
stars   i looked away down-stream  and seen a black speck on the water 
i took after it  but when i got to it it warn't nothing but a couple of
sawlogs made fast together   then i see another speck  and chased that 
then another  and this time i was right   it was the raft 

when i got to it jim was setting there with his head down between his
knees  asleep  with his right arm hanging over the steering-oar   the
other oar was smashed off  and the raft was littered up with leaves and
branches and dirt   so she'd had a rough time 

i made fast and laid down under jim's nose on the raft  and began to gap 
and stretch my fists out against jim  and says 

 hello  jim  have i been asleep   why didn't you stir me up  

 goodness gracious  is dat you  huck   en you ain' dead you ain'
drownded you's back agin   it's too good for true  honey  it's too
good for true  lemme look at you chile  lemme feel o' you   no  you ain'
dead! you's back agin  'live en soun'  jis de same ole huck de same ole
huck  thanks to goodness! 

 what's the matter with you  jim   you been a-drinking  

 drinkin'   has i ben a-drinkin'   has i had a chance to be a-drinkin'  

 well  then  what makes you talk so wild  

 how does i talk wild  

 how   why  hain't you been talking about my coming back  and all that
stuff  as if i'd been gone away  

 huck huck finn  you look me in de eye  look me in de eye   hain't you
ben gone away  

 gone away   why  what in the nation do you mean   i hain't been gone
anywheres   where would i go to  

 well  looky here  boss  dey's sumf'n wrong  dey is   is i me  or who is
i  is i heah  or whah is i   now dat's what i wants to know  

 well  i think you're here  plain enough  but i think you're a
tangle-headed old fool  jim  

 i is  is i   well  you answer me dis   didn't you tote out de line in de
canoe fer to make fas' to de tow-head  

 no  i didn't   what tow-head   i hain't see no tow-head  

 you hain't seen no towhead   looky here  didn't de line pull loose en de
raf' go a-hummin' down de river  en leave you en de canoe behine in de
fog  

 what fog  

 why  de fog! de fog dat's been aroun' all night   en didn't you whoop 
en didn't i whoop  tell we got mix' up in de islands en one un us got
los' en t'other one was jis' as good as los'  'kase he didn' know whah he
wuz  en didn't i bust up agin a lot er dem islands en have a turrible
time en mos' git drownded   now ain' dat so  boss ain't it so   you
answer me dat  

 well  this is too many for me  jim   i hain't seen no fog  nor no
islands  nor no troubles  nor nothing   i been setting here talking with
you all night till you went to sleep about ten minutes ago  and i reckon
i done the same   you couldn't a got drunk in that time  so of course
you've been dreaming  

 dad fetch it  how is i gwyne to dream all dat in ten minutes  

 well  hang it all  you did dream it  because there didn't any of it
happen  

 but  huck  it's all jis' as plain to me as  

 it don't make no difference how plain it is  there ain't nothing in it 
i know  because i've been here all the time  

jim didn't say nothing for about five minutes  but set there studying
over it   then he says 

 well  den  i reck'n i did dream it  huck  but dog my cats ef it ain't de
powerfullest dream i ever see   en i hain't ever had no dream b'fo' dat's
tired me like dis one  

 oh  well  that's all right  because a dream does tire a body like
everything sometimes   but this one was a staving dream  tell me all
about it  jim  

so jim went to work and told me the whole thing right through  just as it
happened  only he painted it up considerable   then he said he must start
in and  'terpret  it  because it was sent for a warning   he said the
first towhead stood for a man that would try to do us some good  but the
current was another man that would get us away from him   the whoops was
warnings that would come to us every now and then  and if we didn't try
hard to make out to understand them they'd just take us into bad luck 
'stead of keeping us out of it   the lot of towheads was troubles we was
going to get into with quarrelsome people and all kinds of mean folks 
but if we minded our business and didn't talk back and aggravate them  we
would pull through and get out of the fog and into the big clear river 
which was the free states  and wouldn't have no more trouble 

it had clouded up pretty dark just after i got on to the raft  but it was
clearing up again now 

 oh  well  that's all interpreted well enough as far as it goes  jim   i
says   but what does these things stand for  

it was the leaves and rubbish on the raft and the smashed oar   you could
see them first-rate now 

jim looked at the trash  and then looked at me  and back at the trash
again   he had got the dream fixed so strong in his head that he couldn't
seem to shake it loose and get the facts back into its place again right
away   but when he did get the thing straightened around he looked at me
steady without ever smiling  and says 

 what do dey stan' for   i'se gwyne to tell you   when i got all wore out
wid work  en wid de callin' for you  en went to sleep  my heart wuz mos'
broke bekase you wuz los'  en i didn' k'yer no' mo' what become er me en
de raf'   en when i wake up en fine you back agin  all safe en soun'  de
tears come  en i could a got down on my knees en kiss yo' foot  i's so
thankful  en all you wuz thinkin' 'bout wuz how you could make a fool uv
ole jim wid a lie   dat truck dah is trash  en trash is what people is
dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren's en makes 'em ashamed  

then he got up slow and walked to the wigwam  and went in there without
saying anything but that   but that was enough   it made me feel so mean
i could almost kissed his foot to get him to take it back 

it was fifteen minutes before i could work myself up to go and humble
myself to a nigger  but i done it  and i warn't ever sorry for it
afterwards  neither   i didn't do him no more mean tricks  and i wouldn't
done that one if i'd a knowed it would make him feel that way 




we slept most all day  and started out at night  a little ways behind a
monstrous long raft that was as long going by as a procession   she had
four long sweeps at each end  so we judged she carried as many as thirty
men  likely   she had five big wigwams aboard  wide apart  and an open
camp fire in the middle  and a tall flag-pole at each end   there was a
power of style about her   it amounted to something being a raftsman on
such a craft as that 

we went drifting down into a big bend  and the night clouded up and got
hot   the river was very wide  and was walled with solid timber on both
sides  you couldn't see a break in it hardly ever  or a light   we talked
about cairo  and wondered whether we would know it when we got to it   i
said likely we wouldn't  because i had heard say there warn't but about a
dozen houses there  and if they didn't happen to have them lit up  how
was we going to know we was passing a town   jim said if the two big
rivers joined together there  that would show   but i said maybe we might
think we was passing the foot of an island and coming into the same old
river again  that disturbed jim and me too   so the question was  what
to do   i said  paddle ashore the first time a light showed  and tell
them pap was behind  coming along with a trading-scow  and was a green
hand at the business  and wanted to know how far it was to cairo   jim
thought it was a good idea  so we took a smoke on it and waited 

there warn't nothing to do now but to look out sharp for the town  and
not pass it without seeing it   he said he'd be mighty sure to see it 
because he'd be a free man the minute he seen it  but if he missed it
he'd be in a slave country again and no more show for freedom   every
little while he jumps up and says 

 dah she is  

but it warn't   it was jack-o'-lanterns  or lightning bugs  so he set
down again  and went to watching  same as before   jim said it made him
all over trembly and feverish to be so close to freedom   well  i can
tell you it made me all over trembly and feverish  too  to hear him 
because i begun to get it through my head that he was most free and who
was to blame for it   why  me   i couldn't get that out of my conscience 
no how nor no way  it got to troubling me so i couldn't rest  i couldn't
stay still in one place   it hadn't ever come home to me before  what
this thing was that i was doing   but now it did  and it stayed with me 
and scorched me more and more   i tried to make out to myself that i
warn't to blame  because i didn't run jim off from his rightful owner 
but it warn't no use  conscience up and says  every time   but you knowed
he was running for his freedom  and you could a paddled ashore and told
somebody    that was so i couldn't get around that noway   that was
where it pinched   conscience says to me   what had poor miss watson done
to you that you could see her nigger go off right under your eyes and
never say one single word   what did that poor old woman do to you that
you could treat her so mean   why  she tried to learn you your book  she
tried to learn you your manners  she tried to be good to you every way
she knowed how   that's what she done  

i got to feeling so mean and so miserable i most wished i was dead   i
fidgeted up and down the raft  abusing myself to myself  and jim was
fidgeting up and down past me   we neither of us could keep still   every
time he danced around and says   dah's cairo!  it went through me like a
shot  and i thought if it was cairo i reckoned i would die of
miserableness 

jim talked out loud all the time while i was talking to myself   he was
saying how the first thing he would do when he got to a free state he
would go to saving up money and never spend a single cent  and when he
got enough he would buy his wife  which was owned on a farm close to
where miss watson lived  and then they would both work to buy the two
children  and if their master wouldn't sell them  they'd get an
ab'litionist to go and steal them 

it most froze me to hear such talk   he wouldn't ever dared to talk such
talk in his life before   just see what a difference it made in him the
minute he judged he was about free   it was according to the old saying 
 give a nigger an inch and he'll take an ell    thinks i  this is what
comes of my not thinking   here was this nigger  which i had as good as
helped to run away  coming right out flat-footed and saying he would
steal his children children that belonged to a man i didn't even know  a
man that hadn't ever done me no harm 

i was sorry to hear jim say that  it was such a lowering of him   my
conscience got to stirring me up hotter than ever  until at last i says
to it   let up on me it ain't too late yet i'll paddle ashore at the
first light and tell    i felt easy and happy and light as a feather
right off   all my troubles was gone   i went to looking out sharp for a
light  and sort of singing to myself   by and by one showed   jim sings
out 

 we's safe  huck  we's safe!  jump up and crack yo' heels!  dat's de good
ole cairo at las'  i jis knows it! 

i says 

 i'll take the canoe and go and see  jim   it mightn't be  you know  

he jumped and got the canoe ready  and put his old coat in the bottom for
me to set on  and give me the paddle  and as i shoved off  he says 

 pooty soon i'll be a-shout'n' for joy  en i'll say  it's all on accounts
o' huck  i's a free man  en i couldn't ever ben free ef it hadn' ben for
huck  huck done it   jim won't ever forgit you  huck  you's de bes' fren'
jim's ever had  en you's de only fren' ole jim's got now  

i was paddling off  all in a sweat to tell on him  but when he says this 
it seemed to kind of take the tuck all out of me   i went along slow
then  and i warn't right down certain whether i was glad i started or
whether i warn't   when i was fifty yards off  jim says 

 dah you goes  de ole true huck  de on'y white genlman dat ever kep' his
promise to ole jim  

well  i just felt sick   but i says  i got to do it i can't get out of
it   right then along comes a skiff with two men in it with guns  and
they stopped and i stopped   one of them says 

 what's that yonder  

 a piece of a raft   i says 

 do you belong on it  

 yes  sir  

 any men on it  

 only one  sir  

 well  there's five niggers run off to-night up yonder  above the head of
the bend   is your man white or black  

i didn't answer up prompt   i tried to  but the words wouldn't come  i
tried for a second or two to brace up and out with it  but i warn't man
enough hadn't the spunk of a rabbit   i see i was weakening  so i just
give up trying  and up and says 

 he's white  

 i reckon we'll go and see for ourselves  

 i wish you would   says i   because it's pap that's there  and maybe
you'd help me tow the raft ashore where the light is   he's sick and so
is mam and mary ann  

 oh  the devil! we're in a hurry  boy   but i s'pose we've got to   come 
buckle to your paddle  and let's get along  

i buckled to my paddle and they laid to their oars   when we had made a
stroke or two  i says 

 pap'll be mighty much obleeged to you  i can tell you   everybody goes
away when i want them to help me tow the raft ashore  and i can't do it
by myself  

 well  that's infernal mean   odd  too   say  boy  what's the matter with
your father  

 it's the a the well  it ain't anything much  

they stopped pulling   it warn't but a mighty little ways to the raft
now  one says 

 boy  that's a lie   what is the matter with your pap   answer up square
now  and it'll be the better for you  

 i will  sir  i will  honest but don't leave us  please   it's the the
 gentlemen  if you'll only pull ahead  and let me heave you the
headline  you won't have to come a-near the raft please do  

 set her back  john  set her back!  says one   they backed water    keep
away  boy keep to looard   confound it  i just expect the wind has
blowed it to us   your pap's got the small-pox  and you know it precious
well   why didn't you come out and say so   do you want to spread it all
over  

 well   says i  a-blubbering   i've told everybody before  and they just
went away and left us  

 poor devil  there's something in that   we are right down sorry for you 
but we well  hang it  we don't want the small-pox  you see   look here 
i'll tell you what to do   don't you try to land by yourself  or you'll
smash everything to pieces   you float along down about twenty miles  and
you'll come to a town on the left-hand side of the river   it will be
long after sun-up then  and when you ask for help you tell them your
folks are all down with chills and fever   don't be a fool again  and let
people guess what is the matter   now we're trying to do you a kindness 
so you just put twenty miles between us  that's a good boy   it wouldn't
do any good to land yonder where the light is it's only a wood-yard 
say  i reckon your father's poor  and i'm bound to say he's in pretty
hard luck   here  i'll put a twenty-dollar gold piece on this board  and
you get it when it floats by   i feel mighty mean to leave you  but my
kingdom! it won't do to fool with small-pox  don't you see  

 hold on  parker   says the other man   here's a twenty to put on the
board for me   good-bye  boy  you do as mr  parker told you  and you'll
be all right  

 that's so  my boy good-bye  good-bye   if you see any runaway niggers
you get help and nab them  and you can make some money by it  

 good-bye  sir   says i   i won't let no runaway niggers get by me if i
can help it  

they went off and i got aboard the raft  feeling bad and low  because i
knowed very well i had done wrong  and i see it warn't no use for me to
try to learn to do right  a body that don't get started right when he's
little ain't got no show when the pinch comes there ain't nothing to
back him up and keep him to his work  and so he gets beat   then i
thought a minute  and says to myself  hold on  s'pose you'd a done right
and give jim up  would you felt better than what you do now   no  says i 
i'd feel bad i'd feel just the same way i do now   well  then  says i 
what's the use you learning to do right when it's troublesome to do right
and ain't no trouble to do wrong  and the wages is just the same   i was
stuck   i couldn't answer that   so i reckoned i wouldn't bother no more
about it  but after this always do whichever come handiest at the time 

i went into the wigwam  jim warn't there   i looked all around  he warn't
anywhere   i says 

 jim! 

 here i is  huck   is dey out o' sight yit   don't talk loud  

he was in the river under the stern oar  with just his nose out   i told
him they were out of sight  so he come aboard   he says 

 i was a-listenin' to all de talk  en i slips into de river en was gwyne
to shove for sho' if dey come aboard   den i was gwyne to swim to de raf'
agin when dey was gone   but lawsy  how you did fool 'em  huck!  dat wuz
de smartes' dodge!  i tell you  chile  i'spec it save' ole jim ole jim
ain't going to forgit you for dat  honey  

then we talked about the money   it was a pretty good raise twenty
dollars apiece   jim said we could take deck passage on a steamboat now 
and the money would last us as far as we wanted to go in the free states 
he said twenty mile more warn't far for the raft to go  but he wished we
was already there 

towards daybreak we tied up  and jim was mighty particular about hiding
the raft good   then he worked all day fixing things in bundles  and
getting all ready to quit rafting 

that night about ten we hove in sight of the lights of a town away down
in a left-hand bend 

i went off in the canoe to ask about it   pretty soon i found a man out
in the river with a skiff  setting a trot-line   i ranged up and says 

 mister  is that town cairo  

 cairo  no   you must be a blame' fool  

 what town is it  mister  

 if you want to know  go and find out   if you stay here botherin' around
me for about a half a minute longer you'll get something you won't want  

i paddled to the raft   jim was awful disappointed  but i said never
mind  cairo would be the next place  i reckoned 

we passed another town before daylight  and i was going out again  but it
was high ground  so i didn't go   no high ground about cairo  jim said 
i had forgot it   we laid up for the day on a towhead tolerable close to
the left-hand bank   i begun to suspicion something   so did jim   i
says 

 maybe we went by cairo in the fog that night  

he says 

 doan' le's talk about it  huck   po' niggers can't have no luck   i
awluz 'spected dat rattlesnake-skin warn't done wid its work  

 i wish i'd never seen that snake-skin  jim i do wish i'd never laid
eyes on it  

 it ain't yo' fault  huck  you didn' know   don't you blame yo'self 'bout
it  

when it was daylight  here was the clear ohio water inshore  sure enough 
and outside was the old regular muddy!  so it was all up with cairo 

we talked it all over   it wouldn't do to take to the shore  we couldn't
take the raft up the stream  of course   there warn't no way but to wait
for dark  and start back in the canoe and take the chances   so we slept
all day amongst the cottonwood thicket  so as to be fresh for the work 
and when we went back to the raft about dark the canoe was gone!

we didn't say a word for a good while   there warn't anything to say   we
both knowed well enough it was some more work of the rattlesnake-skin  so
what was the use to talk about it   it would only look like we was
finding fault  and that would be bound to fetch more bad luck and keep
on fetching it  too  till we knowed enough to keep still 

by and by we talked about what we better do  and found there warn't no
way but just to go along down with the raft till we got a chance to buy a
canoe to go back in   we warn't going to borrow it when there warn't
anybody around  the way pap would do  for that might set people after us 

so we shoved out after dark on the raft 

anybody that don't believe yet that it's foolishness to handle a
snake-skin  after all that that snake-skin done for us  will believe
it now if they read on and see what more it done for us 

the place to buy canoes is off of rafts laying up at shore   but we
didn't see no rafts laying up  so we went along during three hours and
more   well  the night got gray and ruther thick  which is the next
meanest thing to fog   you can't tell the shape of the river  and you
can't see no distance  it got to be very late and still  and then along
comes a steamboat up the river   we lit the lantern  and judged she would
see it   up-stream boats didn't generly come close to us  they go out and
follow the bars and hunt for easy water under the reefs  but nights like
this they bull right up the channel against the whole river 

we could hear her pounding along  but we didn't see her good till she was
close   she aimed right for us   often they do that and try to see how
close they can come without touching  sometimes the wheel bites off a
sweep  and then the pilot sticks his head out and laughs  and thinks he's
mighty smart   well  here she comes  and we said she was going to try and
shave us  but she didn't seem to be sheering off a bit   she was a big
one  and she was coming in a hurry  too  looking like a black cloud with
rows of glow-worms around it  but all of a sudden she bulged out  big and
scary  with a long row of wide-open furnace doors shining like red-hot
teeth  and her monstrous bows and guards hanging right over us   there
was a yell at us  and a jingling of bells to stop the engines  a powwow
of cussing  and whistling of steam and as jim went overboard on one side
and i on the other  she come smashing straight through the raft 

i dived and i aimed to find the bottom  too  for a thirty-foot wheel had
got to go over me  and i wanted it to have plenty of room   i could
always stay under water a minute  this time i reckon i stayed under a
minute and a half   then i bounced for the top in a hurry  for i was
nearly busting   i popped out to my armpits and blowed the water out of
my nose  and puffed a bit   of course there was a booming current  and of
course that boat started her engines again ten seconds after she stopped
them  for they never cared much for raftsmen  so now she was churning
along up the river  out of sight in the thick weather  though i could
hear her 

i sung out for jim about a dozen times  but i didn't get any answer  so i
grabbed a plank that touched me while i was  treading water   and struck
out for shore  shoving it ahead of me   but i made out to see that the
drift of the current was towards the left-hand shore  which meant that i
was in a crossing  so i changed off and went that way 

it was one of these long  slanting  two-mile crossings  so i was a good
long time in getting over   i made a safe landing  and clumb up the bank 
i couldn't see but a little ways  but i went poking along over rough
ground for a quarter of a mile or more  and then i run across a big
old-fashioned double log-house before i noticed it   i was going to rush
by and get away  but a lot of dogs jumped out and went to howling and
barking at me  and i knowed better than to move another peg 




in about a minute somebody spoke out of a window without putting his head
out  and says 

 be done  boys!  who's there  

i says 

 it's me  

 who's me  

 george jackson  sir  

 what do you want  

 i don't want nothing  sir   i only want to go along by  but the dogs
won't let me  

 what are you prowling around here this time of night for hey  

 i warn't prowling around  sir  i fell overboard off of the steamboat  

 oh  you did  did you   strike a light there  somebody   what did you say
your name was  

 george jackson  sir   i'm only a boy  

 look here  if you're telling the truth you needn't be afraid nobody'll
hurt you   but don't try to budge  stand right where you are   rouse out
bob and tom  some of you  and fetch the guns   george jackson  is there
anybody with you  

 no  sir  nobody  

i heard the people stirring around in the house now  and see a light 
the man sung out 

 snatch that light away  betsy  you old fool ain't you got any sense 
put it on the floor behind the front door   bob  if you and tom are
ready  take your places  

 all ready  

 now  george jackson  do you know the shepherdsons  

 no  sir  i never heard of them  

 well  that may be so  and it mayn't   now  all ready   step forward 
george jackson   and mind  don't you hurry come mighty slow   if there's
anybody with you  let him keep back if he shows himself he'll be shot 
come along now   come slow  push the door open yourself just enough to
squeeze in  d' you hear  

i didn't hurry  i couldn't if i'd a wanted to   i took one slow step at a
time and there warn't a sound  only i thought i could hear my heart   the
dogs were as still as the humans  but they followed a little behind me 
when i got to the three log doorsteps i heard them unlocking and
unbarring and unbolting   i put my hand on the door and pushed it a
little and a little more till somebody said   there  that's enough put
your head in   i done it  but i judged they would take it off 

the candle was on the floor  and there they all was  looking at me  and
me at them  for about a quarter of a minute   three big men with guns
pointed at me  which made me wince  i tell you  the oldest  gray and
about sixty  the other two thirty or more all of them fine and handsome
 and the sweetest old gray-headed lady  and back of her two young women
which i couldn't see right well   the old gentleman says 

 there  i reckon it's all right   come in  

as soon as i was in the old gentleman he locked the door and barred it
and bolted it  and told the young men to come in with their guns  and
they all went in a big parlor that had a new rag carpet on the floor  and
got together in a corner that was out of the range of the front windows
 there warn't none on the side   they held the candle  and took a good
look at me  and all said   why  he ain't a shepherdson no  there ain't
any shepherdson about him    then the old man said he hoped i wouldn't
mind being searched for arms  because he didn't mean no harm by it it
was only to make sure   so he didn't pry into my pockets  but only felt
outside with his hands  and said it was all right   he told me to make
myself easy and at home  and tell all about myself  but the old lady
says 

 why  bless you  saul  the poor thing's as wet as he can be  and don't
you reckon it may be he's hungry  

 true for you  rachel i forgot  

so the old lady says 

 betsy  (this was a nigger woman)   you fly around and get him something
to eat as quick as you can  poor thing  and one of you girls go and wake
up buck and tell him oh  here he is himself   buck  take this little
stranger and get the wet clothes off from him and dress him up in some of
yours that's dry  

buck looked about as old as me thirteen or fourteen or along there 
though he was a little bigger than me   he hadn't on anything but a
shirt  and he was very frowzy-headed   he came in gaping and digging one
fist into his eyes  and he was dragging a gun along with the other one 
he says 

 ain't they no shepherdsons around  

they said  no  'twas a false alarm 

 well   he says   if they'd a ben some  i reckon i'd a got one  

they all laughed  and bob says 

 why  buck  they might have scalped us all  you've been so slow in
coming  

 well  nobody come after me  and it ain't right i'm always kept down  i
don't get no show  

 never mind  buck  my boy   says the old man   you'll have show enough 
all in good time  don't you fret about that   go 'long with you now  and
do as your mother told you  

when we got up-stairs to his room he got me a coarse shirt and a
roundabout and pants of his  and i put them on   while i was at it he
asked me what my name was  but before i could tell him he started to tell
me about a bluejay and a young rabbit he had catched in the woods day
before yesterday  and he asked me where moses was when the candle went
out   i said i didn't know  i hadn't heard about it before  no way 

 well  guess   he says 

 how'm i going to guess   says i   when i never heard tell of it before  

 but you can guess  can't you   it's just as easy  

 which candle    i says 

 why  any candle   he says 

 i don't know where he was   says i   where was he  

 why  he was in the dark!  that's where he was! 

 well  if you knowed where he was  what did you ask me for  

 why  blame it  it's a riddle  don't you see   say  how long are you
going to stay here   you got to stay always   we can just have booming
times they don't have no school now   do you own a dog   i've got a
dog and he'll go in the river and bring out chips that you throw in   do
you like to comb up sundays  and all that kind of foolishness   you bet i
don't  but ma she makes me   confound these ole britches!  i reckon i'd
better put 'em on  but i'd ruther not  it's so warm   are you all ready 
all right   come along  old hoss  

cold corn-pone  cold corn-beef  butter and buttermilk that is what they
had for me down there  and there ain't nothing better that ever i've come
across yet   buck and his ma and all of them smoked cob pipes  except the
nigger woman  which was gone  and the two young women   they all smoked
and talked  and i eat and talked   the young women had quilts around
them  and their hair down their backs   they all asked me questions  and
i told them how pap and me and all the family was living on a little farm
down at the bottom of arkansaw  and my sister mary ann run off and got
married and never was heard of no more  and bill went to hunt them and he
warn't heard of no more  and tom and mort died  and then there warn't
nobody but just me and pap left  and he was just trimmed down to nothing 
on account of his troubles  so when he died i took what there was left 
because the farm didn't belong to us  and started up the river  deck
passage  and fell overboard  and that was how i come to be here   so they
said i could have a home there as long as i wanted it   then it was most
daylight and everybody went to bed  and i went to bed with buck  and when
i waked up in the morning  drat it all  i had forgot what my name was 
so i laid there about an hour trying to think  and when buck waked up i
says 

 can you spell  buck  

 yes   he says 

 i bet you can't spell my name   says i 

 i bet you what you dare i can   says he 

 all right   says i   go ahead  

 g-e-o-r-g-e j-a-x-o-n there now   he says 

 well   says i   you done it  but i didn't think you could   it ain't no
slouch of a name to spell right off without studying  

i set it down  private  because somebody might want me to spell it next 
and so i wanted to be handy with it and rattle it off like i was used to
it 

it was a mighty nice family  and a mighty nice house  too   i hadn't seen
no house out in the country before that was so nice and had so much
style   it didn't have an iron latch on the front door  nor a wooden one
with a buckskin string  but a brass knob to turn  the same as houses in
town  there warn't no bed in the parlor  nor a sign of a bed  but heaps
of parlors in towns has beds in them   there was a big fireplace that was
bricked on the bottom  and the bricks was kept clean and red by pouring
water on them and scrubbing them with another brick  sometimes they wash
them over with red water-paint that they call spanish-brown  same as they
do in town   they had big brass dog-irons that could hold up a saw-log 
there was a clock on the middle of the mantelpiece  with a picture of a
town painted on the bottom half of the glass front  and a round place in
the middle of it for the sun  and you could see the pendulum swinging
behind it   it was beautiful to hear that clock tick  and sometimes when
one of these peddlers had been along and scoured her up and got her in
good shape  she would start in and strike a hundred and fifty before she
got tuckered out   they wouldn't took any money for her 

well  there was a big outlandish parrot on each side of the clock  made
out of something like chalk  and painted up gaudy   by one of the parrots
was a cat made of crockery  and a crockery dog by the other  and when you
pressed down on them they squeaked  but didn't open their mouths nor look
different nor interested   they squeaked through underneath   there was a
couple of big wild-turkey-wing fans spread out behind those things   on
the table in the middle of the room was a kind of a lovely crockery
basket that had apples and oranges and peaches and grapes piled up in it 
which was much redder and yellower and prettier than real ones is  but
they warn't real because you could see where pieces had got chipped off
and showed the white chalk  or whatever it was  underneath 

this table had a cover made out of beautiful oilcloth  with a red and
blue spread-eagle painted on it  and a painted border all around   it
come all the way from philadelphia  they said   there was some books 
too  piled up perfectly exact  on each corner of the table   one was a
big family bible full of pictures   one was pilgrim's progress  about a
man that left his family  it didn't say why   i read considerable in it
now and then   the statements was interesting  but tough   another was
friendship's offering  full of beautiful stuff and poetry  but i didn't
read the poetry   another was henry clay's speeches  and another was dr 
gunn's family medicine  which told you all about what to do if a body was
sick or dead   there was a hymn book  and a lot of other books   and
there was nice split-bottom chairs  and perfectly sound  too not bagged
down in the middle and busted  like an old basket 

they had pictures hung on the walls mainly washingtons and lafayettes 
and battles  and highland marys  and one called  signing the
declaration   there was some that they called crayons  which one of the
daughters which was dead made her own self when she was only fifteen
years old   they was different from any pictures i ever see before
 blacker  mostly  than is common   one was a woman in a slim black dress 
belted small under the armpits  with bulges like a cabbage in the middle
of the sleeves  and a large black scoop-shovel bonnet with a black veil 
and white slim ankles crossed about with black tape  and very wee black
slippers  like a chisel  and she was leaning pensive on a tombstone on
her right elbow  under a weeping willow  and her other hand hanging down
her side holding a white handkerchief and a reticule  and underneath the
picture it said  shall i never see thee more alas    another one was a
young lady with her hair all combed up straight to the top of her head 
and knotted there in front of a comb like a chair-back  and she was
crying into a handkerchief and had a dead bird laying on its back in her
other hand with its heels up  and underneath the picture it said  i shall
never hear thy sweet chirrup more alas    there was one where a young
lady was at a window looking up at the moon  and tears running down her
cheeks  and she had an open letter in one hand with black sealing wax
showing on one edge of it  and she was mashing a locket with a chain to
it against her mouth  and underneath the picture it said  and art thou
gone yes thou art gone alas    these was all nice pictures  i reckon  but
i didn't somehow seem to take to them  because if ever i was down a
little they always give me the fan-tods   everybody was sorry she died 
because she had laid out a lot more of these pictures to do  and a body
could see by what she had done what they had lost   but i reckoned that
with her disposition she was having a better time in the graveyard   she
was at work on what they said was her greatest picture when she took
sick  and every day and every night it was her prayer to be allowed to
live till she got it done  but she never got the chance   it was a
picture of a young woman in a long white gown  standing on the rail of a
bridge all ready to jump off  with her hair all down her back  and
looking up to the moon  with the tears running down her face  and she had
two arms folded across her breast  and two arms stretched out in front 
and two more reaching up towards the moon and the idea was to see which
pair would look best  and then scratch out all the other arms  but  as i
was saying  she died before she got her mind made up  and now they kept
this picture over the head of the bed in her room  and every time her
birthday come they hung flowers on it   other times it was hid with a
little curtain   the young woman in the picture had a kind of a nice
sweet face  but there was so many arms it made her look too spidery 
seemed to me 

this young girl kept a scrap-book when she was alive  and used to paste
obituaries and accidents and cases of patient suffering in it out of the
presbyterian observer  and write poetry after them out of her own head 
it was very good poetry   this is what she wrote about a boy by the name
of stephen dowling bots that fell down a well and was drownded 

ode to stephen dowling bots  dec'd

and did young stephen sicken  and did young stephen die  and did the sad
hearts thicken  and did the mourners cry 

no  such was not the fate of young stephen dowling bots  though sad
hearts round him thickened  'twas not from sickness' shots 

no whooping-cough did rack his frame  nor measles drear with spots  not
these impaired the sacred name of stephen dowling bots 

despised love struck not with woe that head of curly knots  nor stomach
troubles laid him low  young stephen dowling bots 

o no   then list with tearful eye  whilst i his fate do tell  his soul
did from this cold world fly by falling down a well 

they got him out and emptied him  alas it was too late  his spirit was
gone for to sport aloft in the realms of the good and great 

if emmeline grangerford could make poetry like that before she was
fourteen  there ain't no telling what she could a done by and by   buck
said she could rattle off poetry like nothing   she didn't ever have to
stop to think   he said she would slap down a line  and if she couldn't
find anything to rhyme with it would just scratch it out and slap down
another one  and go ahead  she warn't particular  she could write about
anything you choose to give her to write about just so it was sadful 
every time a man died  or a woman died  or a child died  she would be on
hand with her  tribute  before he was cold   she called them tributes 
the neighbors said it was the doctor first  then emmeline  then the
undertaker the undertaker never got in ahead of emmeline but once  and
then she hung fire on a rhyme for the dead person's name  which was
whistler   she warn't ever the same after that  she never complained  but
she kinder pined away and did not live long   poor thing  many's the time
i made myself go up to the little room that used to be hers and get out
her poor old scrap-book and read in it when her pictures had been
aggravating me and i had soured on her a little   i liked all that
family  dead ones and all  and warn't going to let anything come between
us   poor emmeline made poetry about all the dead people when she was
alive  and it didn't seem right that there warn't nobody to make some
about her now she was gone  so i tried to sweat out a verse or two
myself  but i couldn't seem to make it go somehow   they kept emmeline's
room trim and nice  and all the things fixed in it just the way she liked
to have them when she was alive  and nobody ever slept there   the old
lady took care of the room herself  though there was plenty of niggers 
and she sewed there a good deal and read her bible there mostly 

well  as i was saying about the parlor  there was beautiful curtains on
the windows   white  with pictures painted on them of castles with vines
all down the walls  and cattle coming down to drink   there was a little
old piano  too  that had tin pans in it  i reckon  and nothing was ever
so lovely as to hear the young ladies sing  the last link is broken  and
play  the battle of prague  on it   the walls of all the rooms was
plastered  and most had carpets on the floors  and the whole house was
whitewashed on the outside 

it was a double house  and the big open place betwixt them was roofed and
floored  and sometimes the table was set there in the middle of the day 
and it was a cool  comfortable place   nothing couldn't be better   and
warn't the cooking good  and just bushels of it too!




col   grangerford was a gentleman  you see   he was a gentleman all over 
and so was his family   he was well born  as the saying is  and that's
worth as much in a man as it is in a horse  so the widow douglas said 
and nobody ever denied that she was of the first aristocracy in our town 
and pap he always said it  too  though he warn't no more quality than a
mudcat himself   col   grangerford was very tall and very slim  and had a
darkish-paly complexion  not a sign of red in it anywheres  he was clean
shaved every morning all over his thin face  and he had the thinnest kind
of lips  and the thinnest kind of nostrils  and a high nose  and heavy
eyebrows  and the blackest kind of eyes  sunk so deep back that they
seemed like they was looking out of caverns at you  as you may say   his
forehead was high  and his hair was black and straight and hung to his
shoulders  his hands was long and thin  and every day of his life he put
on a clean shirt and a full suit from head to foot made out of linen so
white it hurt your eyes to look at it  and on sundays he wore a blue
tail-coat with brass buttons on it   he carried a mahogany cane with a
silver head to it   there warn't no frivolishness about him  not a bit 
and he warn't ever loud   he was as kind as he could be you could feel
that  you know  and so you had confidence   sometimes he smiled  and it
was good to see  but when he straightened himself up like a liberty-pole 
and the lightning begun to flicker out from under his eyebrows  you
wanted to climb a tree first  and find out what the matter was
afterwards   he didn't ever have to tell anybody to mind their manners
 everybody was always good-mannered where he was   everybody loved to have
him around  too  he was sunshine most always i mean he made it seem
like good weather   when he turned into a cloudbank it was awful dark for
half a minute  and that was enough  there wouldn't nothing go wrong again
for a week 

when him and the old lady come down in the morning all the family got up
out of their chairs and give them good-day  and didn't set down again
till they had set down   then tom and bob went to the sideboard where the
decanter was  and mixed a glass of bitters and handed it to him  and he
held it in his hand and waited till tom's and bob's was mixed  and then
they bowed and said   our duty to you  sir  and madam   and they bowed
the least bit in the world and said thank you  and so they drank  all
three  and bob and tom poured a spoonful of water on the sugar and the
mite of whisky or apple brandy in the bottom of their tumblers  and give
it to me and buck  and we drank to the old people too 

bob was the oldest and tom next tall  beautiful men with very broad
shoulders and brown faces  and long black hair and black eyes   they
dressed in white linen from head to foot  like the old gentleman  and
wore broad panama hats 

then there was miss charlotte  she was twenty-five  and tall and proud
and grand  but as good as she could be when she warn't stirred up  but
when she was she had a look that would make you wilt in your tracks  like
her father   she was beautiful 

so was her sister  miss sophia  but it was a different kind   she was
gentle and sweet like a dove  and she was only twenty 

each person had their own nigger to wait on them buck too   my nigger
had a monstrous easy time  because i warn't used to having anybody do
anything for me  but buck's was on the jump most of the time 

this was all there was of the family now  but there used to be more
 three sons  they got killed  and emmeline that died 

the old gentleman owned a lot of farms and over a hundred niggers 
sometimes a stack of people would come there  horseback  from ten or
fifteen mile around  and stay five or six days  and have such junketings
round about and on the river  and dances and picnics in the woods
daytimes  and balls at the house nights   these people was mostly
kinfolks of the family   the men brought their guns with them   it was a
handsome lot of quality  i tell you 

there was another clan of aristocracy around there five or six families
 mostly of the name of shepherdson   they was as high-toned and well
born and rich and grand as the tribe of grangerfords   the shepherdsons
and grangerfords used the same steamboat landing  which was about two
mile above our house  so sometimes when i went up there with a lot of our
folks i used to see a lot of the shepherdsons there on their fine horses 

one day buck and me was away out in the woods hunting  and heard a horse
coming   we was crossing the road   buck says 

 quick!  jump for the woods! 

we done it  and then peeped down the woods through the leaves   pretty
soon a splendid young man come galloping down the road  setting his horse
easy and looking like a soldier   he had his gun across his pommel   i
had seen him before   it was young harney shepherdson   i heard buck's
gun go off at my ear  and harney's hat tumbled off from his head   he
grabbed his gun and rode straight to the place where we was hid   but we
didn't wait   we started through the woods on a run   the woods warn't
thick  so i looked over my shoulder to dodge the bullet  and twice i seen
harney cover buck with his gun  and then he rode away the way he come to
get his hat  i reckon  but i couldn't see   we never stopped running till
we got home   the old gentleman's eyes blazed a minute 'twas pleasure 
mainly  i judged then his face sort of smoothed down  and he says 
kind of gentle 

 i don't like that shooting from behind a bush   why didn't you step into
the road  my boy  

 the shepherdsons don't  father   they always take advantage  

miss charlotte she held her head up like a queen while buck was telling
his tale  and her nostrils spread and her eyes snapped   the two young
men looked dark  but never said nothing   miss sophia she turned pale 
but the color come back when she found the man warn't hurt 

soon as i could get buck down by the corn-cribs under the trees by
ourselves  i says 

 did you want to kill him  buck  

 well  i bet i did  

 what did he do to you  

 him   he never done nothing to me  

 well  then  what did you want to kill him for  

 why  nothing only it's on account of the feud  

 what's a feud  

 why  where was you raised   don't you know what a feud is  

 never heard of it before tell me about it  

 well   says buck   a feud is this way   a man has a quarrel with another
man  and kills him  then that other man's brother kills him  then the
other brothers  on both sides  goes for one another  then the cousins
chip in and by and by everybody's killed off  and there ain't no more
feud   but it's kind of slow  and takes a long time  

 has this one been going on long  buck  

 well  i should reckon!  it started thirty year ago  or som'ers along
there   there was trouble 'bout something  and then a lawsuit to settle
it  and the suit went agin one of the men  and so he up and shot the man
that won the suit which he would naturally do  of course   anybody
would  

 what was the trouble about  buck  land  

 i reckon maybe i don't know  

 well  who done the shooting   was it a grangerford or a shepherdson  

 laws  how do i know   it was so long ago  

 don't anybody know  

 oh  yes  pa knows  i reckon  and some of the other old people  but they
don't know now what the row was about in the first place  

 has there been many killed  buck  

 yes  right smart chance of funerals   but they don't always kill   pa's
got a few buckshot in him  but he don't mind it 'cuz he don't weigh much 
anyway   bob's been carved up some with a bowie  and tom's been hurt once
or twice  

 has anybody been killed this year  buck  

 yes  we got one and they got one   'bout three months ago my cousin bud 
fourteen year old  was riding through the woods on t'other side of the
river  and didn't have no weapon with him  which was blame' foolishness 
and in a lonesome place he hears a horse a-coming behind him  and sees
old baldy shepherdson a-linkin' after him with his gun in his hand and
his white hair a-flying in the wind  and 'stead of jumping off and taking
to the brush  bud 'lowed he could out-run him  so they had it  nip and
tuck  for five mile or more  the old man a-gaining all the time  so at
last bud seen it warn't any use  so he stopped and faced around so as to
have the bullet holes in front  you know  and the old man he rode up and
shot him down   but he didn't git much chance to enjoy his luck  for
inside of a week our folks laid him out  

 i reckon that old man was a coward  buck  

 i reckon he warn't a coward   not by a blame' sight   there ain't a
coward amongst them shepherdsons not a one   and there ain't no cowards
amongst the grangerfords either   why  that old man kep' up his end in a
fight one day for half an hour against three grangerfords  and come out
winner   they was all a-horseback  he lit off of his horse and got behind
a little woodpile  and kep' his horse before him to stop the bullets  but
the grangerfords stayed on their horses and capered around the old man 
and peppered away at him  and he peppered away at them   him and his
horse both went home pretty leaky and crippled  but the grangerfords had
to be fetched home and one of 'em was dead  and another died the next
day   no  sir  if a body's out hunting for cowards he don't want to fool
away any time amongst them shepherdsons  becuz they don't breed any of
that kind  

next sunday we all went to church  about three mile  everybody
a-horseback  the men took their guns along  so did buck  and kept them
between their knees or stood them handy against the wall   the
shepherdsons done the same   it was pretty ornery preaching all about
brotherly love  and such-like tiresomeness  but everybody said it was a
good sermon  and they all talked it over going home  and had such a
powerful lot to say about faith and good works and free grace and
preforeordestination  and i don't know what all  that it did seem to me
to be one of the roughest sundays i had run across yet 

about an hour after dinner everybody was dozing around  some in their
chairs and some in their rooms  and it got to be pretty dull   buck and a
dog was stretched out on the grass in the sun sound asleep   i went up to
our room  and judged i would take a nap myself   i found that sweet miss
sophia standing in her door  which was next to ours  and she took me in
her room and shut the door very soft  and asked me if i liked her  and i
said i did  and she asked me if i would do something for her and not tell
anybody  and i said i would   then she said she'd forgot her testament 
and left it in the seat at church between two other books  and would i
slip out quiet and go there and fetch it to her  and not say nothing to
nobody   i said i would  so i slid out and slipped off up the road  and
there warn't anybody at the church  except maybe a hog or two  for there
warn't any lock on the door  and hogs likes a puncheon floor in
summer-time because it's cool   if you notice  most folks don't go
to church only when they've got to  but a hog is different 

says i to myself  something's up  it ain't natural for a girl to be in
such a sweat about a testament   so i give it a shake  and out drops a
little piece of paper with  half-past two  wrote on it with a pencil   i
ransacked it  but couldn't find anything else   i couldn't make anything
out of that  so i put the paper in the book again  and when i got home
and upstairs there was miss sophia in her door waiting for me   she
pulled me in and shut the door  then she looked in the testament till she
found the paper  and as soon as she read it she looked glad  and before a
body could think she grabbed me and give me a squeeze  and said i was the
best boy in the world  and not to tell anybody   she was mighty red in
the face for a minute  and her eyes lighted up  and it made her powerful
pretty   i was a good deal astonished  but when i got my breath i asked
her what the paper was about  and she asked me if i had read it  and i
said no  and she asked me if i could read writing  and i told her  no 
only coarse-hand   and then she said the paper warn't anything but a
book-mark to keep her place  and i might go and play now 

i went off down to the river  studying over this thing  and pretty soon i
noticed that my nigger was following along behind   when we was out of
sight of the house he looked back and around a second  and then comes
a-running  and says 

 mars jawge  if you'll come down into de swamp i'll show you a whole
stack o' water-moccasins  

thinks i  that's mighty curious  he said that yesterday   he oughter know
a body don't love water-moccasins enough to go around hunting for them 
what is he up to  anyway   so i says 

 all right  trot ahead  

i followed a half a mile  then he struck out over the swamp  and waded
ankle deep as much as another half-mile   we come to a little flat piece
of land which was dry and very thick with trees and bushes and vines  and
he says 

 you shove right in dah jist a few steps  mars jawge  dah's whah dey is 
i's seed 'm befo'  i don't k'yer to see 'em no mo'  

then he slopped right along and went away  and pretty soon the trees hid
him   i poked into the place a-ways and come to a little open patch as
big as a bedroom all hung around with vines  and found a man laying there
asleep and  by jings  it was my old jim!

i waked him up  and i reckoned it was going to be a grand surprise to him
to see me again  but it warn't   he nearly cried he was so glad  but he
warn't surprised   said he swum along behind me that night  and heard me
yell every time  but dasn't answer  because he didn't want nobody to pick
him up and take him into slavery again   says he 

 i got hurt a little  en couldn't swim fas'  so i wuz a considable ways
behine you towards de las'  when you landed i reck'ned i could ketch up
wid you on de lan' 'dout havin' to shout at you  but when i see dat house
i begin to go slow   i 'uz off too fur to hear what dey say to you i wuz
'fraid o' de dogs  but when it 'uz all quiet agin i knowed you's in de
house  so i struck out for de woods to wait for day   early in de mawnin'
some er de niggers come along  gwyne to de fields  en dey tuk me en
showed me dis place  whah de dogs can't track me on accounts o' de water 
en dey brings me truck to eat every night  en tells me how you's a-gitt'n
along  

 why didn't you tell my jack to fetch me here sooner  jim  

 well  'twarn't no use to 'sturb you  huck  tell we could do sumfn but
we's all right now   i ben a-buyin' pots en pans en vittles  as i got a
chanst  en a-patchin' up de raf' nights when  

 what raft  jim  

 our ole raf'  

 you mean to say our old raft warn't smashed all to flinders  

 no  she warn't   she was tore up a good deal one en' of her was  but
dey warn't no great harm done  on'y our traps was mos' all los'   ef we
hadn' dive' so deep en swum so fur under water  en de night hadn' ben so
dark  en we warn't so sk'yerd  en ben sich punkin-heads  as de sayin' is 
we'd a seed de raf'   but it's jis' as well we didn't  'kase now she's
all fixed up agin mos' as good as new  en we's got a new lot o' stuff  in
de place o' what 'uz los'  

 why  how did you get hold of the raft again  jim did you catch her  

 how i gwyne to ketch her en i out in de woods   no  some er de niggers
foun' her ketched on a snag along heah in de ben'  en dey hid her in a
crick 'mongst de willows  en dey wuz so much jawin' 'bout which un 'um
she b'long to de mos' dat i come to heah 'bout it pooty soon  so i ups en
settles de trouble by tellin' 'um she don't b'long to none uv um  but to
you en me  en i ast 'm if dey gwyne to grab a young white genlman's
propaty  en git a hid'n for it   den i gin 'm ten cents apiece  en dey
'uz mighty well satisfied  en wisht some mo' raf's 'ud come along en make
'm rich agin  dey's mighty good to me  dese niggers is  en whatever i
wants 'm to do fur me i doan' have to ast 'm twice  honey   dat jack's a
good nigger  en pooty smart  

 yes  he is   he ain't ever told me you was here  told me to come  and
he'd show me a lot of water-moccasins   if anything happens he ain't
mixed up in it   he can say he never seen us together  and it 'll be the
truth  

i don't want to talk much about the next day   i reckon i'll cut it
pretty short   i waked up about dawn  and was a-going to turn over and go
to sleep again when i noticed how still it was didn't seem to be anybody
stirring   that warn't usual   next i noticed that buck was up and gone 
well  i gets up  a-wondering  and goes down stairs nobody around 
everything as still as a mouse   just the same outside   thinks i  what
does it mean   down by the wood-pile i comes across my jack  and says 

 what's it all about  

says he 

 don't you know  mars jawge  

 no   says i   i don't  

 well  den  miss sophia's run off! 'deed she has   she run off in de
night some time nobody don't know jis' when  run off to get married to
dat young harney shepherdson  you know leastways  so dey 'spec   de
fambly foun' it out 'bout half an hour ago maybe a little mo' en' i
tell you dey warn't no time los'   sich another hurryin' up guns en
hosses you never see!  de women folks has gone for to stir up de
relations  en ole mars saul en de boys tuck dey guns en rode up de river
road for to try to ketch dat young man en kill him 'fo' he kin git acrost
de river wid miss sophia   i reck'n dey's gwyne to be mighty rough
times  

 buck went off 'thout waking me up  

 well  i reck'n he did!  dey warn't gwyne to mix you up in it   mars buck
he loaded up his gun en 'lowed he's gwyne to fetch home a shepherdson or
bust  well  dey'll be plenty un 'm dah  i reck'n  en you bet you he'll
fetch one ef he gits a chanst  

i took up the river road as hard as i could put   by and by i begin to
hear guns a good ways off   when i came in sight of the log store and the
woodpile where the steamboats lands i worked along under the trees and
brush till i got to a good place  and then i clumb up into the forks of a
cottonwood that was out of reach  and watched   there was a wood-rank
four foot high a little ways in front of the tree  and first i was going
to hide behind that  but maybe it was luckier i didn't 

there was four or five men cavorting around on their horses in the open
place before the log store  cussing and yelling  and trying to get at a
couple of young chaps that was behind the wood-rank alongside of the
steamboat landing  but they couldn't come it   every time one of them
showed himself on the river side of the woodpile he got shot at   the two
boys was squatting back to back behind the pile  so they could watch both
ways 

by and by the men stopped cavorting around and yelling   they started
riding towards the store  then up gets one of the boys  draws a steady
bead over the wood-rank  and drops one of them out of his saddle   all
the men jumped off of their horses and grabbed the hurt one and started
to carry him to the store  and that minute the two boys started on the
run   they got half way to the tree i was in before the men noticed 
then the men see them  and jumped on their horses and took out after
them   they gained on the boys  but it didn't do no good  the boys had
too good a start  they got to the woodpile that was in front of my tree 
and slipped in behind it  and so they had the bulge on the men again 
one of the boys was buck  and the other was a slim young chap about
nineteen years old 

the men ripped around awhile  and then rode away   as soon as they was
out of sight i sung out to buck and told him   he didn't know what to
make of my voice coming out of the tree at first   he was awful
surprised   he told me to watch out sharp and let him know when the men
come in sight again  said they was up to some devilment or other
 wouldn't be gone long   i wished i was out of that tree  but i dasn't
come down   buck begun to cry and rip  and 'lowed that him and his cousin
joe (that was the other young chap) would make up for this day yet   he
said his father and his two brothers was killed  and two or three of the
enemy   said the shepherdsons laid for them in ambush   buck said his
father and brothers ought to waited for their relations the shepherdsons
was too strong for them   i asked him what was become of young harney and
miss sophia   he said they'd got across the river and was safe   i was
glad of that  but the way buck did take on because he didn't manage to
kill harney that day he shot at him i hain't ever heard anything like
it 

all of a sudden  bang! bang! bang! goes three or four guns the men had
slipped around through the woods and come in from behind without their
horses!  the boys jumped for the river both of them hurt and as they
swum down the current the men run along the bank shooting at them and
singing out   kill them  kill them!   it made me so sick i most fell out
of the tree   i ain't a-going to tell all that happened it would make me
sick again if i was to do that   i wished i hadn't ever come ashore that
night to see such things   i ain't ever going to get shut of them lots
of times i dream about them 

i stayed in the tree till it begun to get dark  afraid to come down 
sometimes i heard guns away off in the woods  and twice i seen little
gangs of men gallop past the log store with guns  so i reckoned the
trouble was still a-going on   i was mighty downhearted  so i made up my
mind i wouldn't ever go anear that house again  because i reckoned i was
to blame  somehow  i judged that that piece of paper meant that miss
sophia was to meet harney somewheres at half-past two and run off  and i
judged i ought to told her father about that paper and the curious way
she acted  and then maybe he would a locked her up  and this awful mess
wouldn't ever happened 

when i got down out of the tree i crept along down the river bank a
piece  and found the two bodies laying in the edge of the water  and
tugged at them till i got them ashore  then i covered up their faces  and
got away as quick as i could   i cried a little when i was covering up
buck's face  for he was mighty good to me 

it was just dark now   i never went near the house  but struck through
the woods and made for the swamp   jim warn't on his island  so i tramped
off in a hurry for the crick  and crowded through the willows  red-hot to
jump aboard and get out of that awful country   the raft was gone!  my
souls  but i was scared!  i couldn't get my breath for most a minute 
then i raised a yell   a voice not twenty-five foot from me says 

 good lan'! is dat you  honey   doan' make no noise  

it was jim's voice nothing ever sounded so good before   i run along the
bank a piece and got aboard  and jim he grabbed me and hugged me  he was
so glad to see me   he says 

 laws bless you  chile  i 'uz right down sho' you's dead agin   jack's
been heah  he say he reck'n you's ben shot  kase you didn' come home no
mo'  so i's jes' dis minute a startin' de raf' down towards de mouf er de
crick  so's to be all ready for to shove out en leave soon as jack comes
agin en tells me for certain you is dead   lawsy  i's mighty glad to git
you back again  honey  

i says 

 all right that's mighty good  they won't find me  and they'll think
i've been killed  and floated down the river there's something up there
that 'll help them think so so don't you lose no time  jim  but just
shove off for the big water as fast as ever you can  

i never felt easy till the raft was two mile below there and out in the
middle of the mississippi   then we hung up our signal lantern  and
judged that we was free and safe once more   i hadn't had a bite to eat
since yesterday  so jim he got out some corn-dodgers and buttermilk  and
pork and cabbage and greens there ain't nothing in the world so good
when it's cooked right and whilst i eat my supper we talked and had a
good time   i was powerful glad to get away from the feuds  and so was
jim to get away from the swamp   we said there warn't no home like a
raft  after all   other places do seem so cramped up and smothery  but a
raft don't   you feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft 




two or three days and nights went by  i reckon i might say they swum by 
they slid along so quiet and smooth and lovely   here is the way we put
in the time   it was a monstrous big river down there sometimes a mile
and a half wide  we run nights  and laid up and hid daytimes  soon as
night was most gone we stopped navigating and tied up nearly always in
the dead water under a towhead  and then cut young cottonwoods and
willows  and hid the raft with them   then we set out the lines   next we
slid into the river and had a swim  so as to freshen up and cool off 
then we set down on the sandy bottom where the water was about knee deep 
and watched the daylight come   not a sound anywheres perfectly still
 just like the whole world was asleep  only sometimes the bullfrogs
a-cluttering  maybe   the first thing to see  looking away over the water 
was a kind of dull line that was the woods on t'other side  you couldn't
make nothing else out  then a pale place in the sky  then more paleness
spreading around  then the river softened up away off  and warn't black
any more  but gray  you could see little dark spots drifting along ever
so far away trading scows  and such things  and long black streaks
 rafts  sometimes you could hear a sweep screaking  or jumbled up voices 
it was so still  and sounds come so far  and by and by you could see a
streak on the water which you know by the look of the streak that there's
a snag there in a swift current which breaks on it and makes that streak
look that way  and you see the mist curl up off of the water  and the
east reddens up  and the river  and you make out a log-cabin in the edge
of the woods  away on the bank on t'other side of the river  being a
woodyard  likely  and piled by them cheats so you can throw a dog through
it anywheres  then the nice breeze springs up  and comes fanning you from
over there  so cool and fresh and sweet to smell on account of the woods
and the flowers  but sometimes not that way  because they've left dead
fish laying around  gars and such  and they do get pretty rank  and next
you've got the full day  and everything smiling in the sun  and the
song-birds just going it!

a little smoke couldn't be noticed now  so we would take some fish off of
the lines and cook up a hot breakfast   and afterwards we would watch the
lonesomeness of the river  and kind of lazy along  and by and by lazy off
to sleep   wake up by and by  and look to see what done it  and maybe see
a steamboat coughing along up-stream  so far off towards the other side
you couldn't tell nothing about her only whether she was a stern-wheel or
side-wheel  then for about an hour there wouldn't be nothing to hear nor
nothing to see just solid lonesomeness   next you'd see a raft sliding
by  away off yonder  and maybe a galoot on it chopping  because they're
most always doing it on a raft  you'd see the axe flash and come down
 you don't hear nothing  you see that axe go up again  and by the time
it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk! it had took all
that time to come over the water   so we would put in the day  lazying
around  listening to the stillness   once there was a thick fog  and the
rafts and things that went by was beating tin pans so the steamboats
wouldn't run over them   a scow or a raft went by so close we could hear
them talking and cussing and laughing heard them plain  but we couldn't
see no sign of them  it made you feel crawly  it was like spirits
carrying on that way in the air   jim said he believed it was spirits 
but i says 

 no  spirits wouldn't say  'dern the dern fog ' 

soon as it was night out we shoved  when we got her out to about the
middle we let her alone  and let her float wherever the current wanted
her to  then we lit the pipes  and dangled our legs in the water  and
talked about all kinds of things we was always naked  day and night 
whenever the mosquitoes would let us the new clothes buck's folks made
for me was too good to be comfortable  and besides i didn't go much on
clothes  nohow 

sometimes we'd have that whole river all to ourselves for the longest
time  yonder was the banks and the islands  across the water  and maybe a
spark which was a candle in a cabin window  and sometimes on the water
you could see a spark or two on a raft or a scow  you know  and maybe
you could hear a fiddle or a song coming over from one of them crafts 
it's lovely to live on a raft   we had the sky up there  all speckled
with stars  and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them  and
discuss about whether they was made or only just happened   jim he
allowed they was made  but i allowed they happened  i judged it would
have took too long to make so many   jim said the moon could a laid them 
well  that looked kind of reasonable  so i didn't say nothing against it 
because i've seen a frog lay most as many  so of course it could be done 
we used to watch the stars that fell  too  and see them streak down   jim
allowed they'd got spoiled and was hove out of the nest 

once or twice of a night we would see a steamboat slipping along in the
dark  and now and then she would belch a whole world of sparks up out of
her chimbleys  and they would rain down in the river and look awful
pretty  then she would turn a corner and her lights would wink out and
her powwow shut off and leave the river still again  and by and by her
waves would get to us  a long time after she was gone  and joggle the
raft a bit  and after that you wouldn't hear nothing for you couldn't
tell how long  except maybe frogs or something 

after midnight the people on shore went to bed  and then for two or three
hours the shores was black no more sparks in the cabin windows   these
sparks was our clock the first one that showed again meant morning was
coming  so we hunted a place to hide and tie up right away 

one morning about daybreak i found a canoe and crossed over a chute to
the main shore it was only two hundred yards and paddled about a mile
up a crick amongst the cypress woods  to see if i couldn't get some
berries  just as i was passing a place where a kind of a cowpath crossed
the crick  here comes a couple of men tearing up the path as tight as
they could foot it   i thought i was a goner  for whenever anybody was
after anybody i judged it was me or maybe jim   i was about to dig out
from there in a hurry  but they was pretty close to me then  and sung out
and begged me to save their lives said they hadn't been doing nothing 
and was being chased for it said there was men and dogs a-coming   they
wanted to jump right in  but i says 

 don't you do it   i don't hear the dogs and horses yet  you've got time
to crowd through the brush and get up the crick a little ways  then you
take to the water and wade down to me and get in that'll throw the dogs
off the scent  

they done it  and soon as they was aboard i lit out for our towhead  and
in about five or ten minutes we heard the dogs and the men away off 
shouting  we heard them come along towards the crick  but couldn't see
them  they seemed to stop and fool around a while  then  as we got
further and further away all the time  we couldn't hardly hear them at
all  by the time we had left a mile of woods behind us and struck the
river  everything was quiet  and we paddled over to the towhead and hid
in the cottonwoods and was safe 

one of these fellows was about seventy or upwards  and had a bald head
and very gray whiskers   he had an old battered-up slouch hat on  and a
greasy blue woollen shirt  and ragged old blue jeans britches stuffed
into his boot-tops  and home-knit galluses no  he only had one   he had
an old long-tailed blue jeans coat with slick brass buttons flung over
his arm  and both of them had big  fat  ratty-looking carpet-bags 

the other fellow was about thirty  and dressed about as ornery   after
breakfast we all laid off and talked  and the first thing that come out
was that these chaps didn't know one another 

 what got you into trouble   says the baldhead to t'other chap 

 well  i'd been selling an article to take the tartar off the teeth and
it does take it off  too  and generly the enamel along with it but i
stayed about one night longer than i ought to  and was just in the act of
sliding out when i ran across you on the trail this side of town  and you
told me they were coming  and begged me to help you to get off   so i
told you i was expecting trouble myself  and would scatter out with you 
that's the whole yarn what's yourn 

 well  i'd ben a-running' a little temperance revival thar 'bout a week 
and was the pet of the women folks  big and little  for i was makin' it
mighty warm for the rummies  i tell you  and takin' as much as five or
six dollars a night ten cents a head  children and niggers free and
business a-growin' all the time  when somehow or another a little report
got around last night that i had a way of puttin' in my time with a
private jug on the sly   a nigger rousted me out this mornin'  and told
me the people was getherin' on the quiet with their dogs and horses  and
they'd be along pretty soon and give me 'bout half an hour's start  and
then run me down if they could  and if they got me they'd tar and feather
me and ride me on a rail  sure   i didn't wait for no breakfast i warn't
hungry  

 old man   said the young one   i reckon we might double-team it
together  what do you think  

 i ain't undisposed   what's your line mainly  

 jour printer by trade  do a little in patent medicines  theater-actor
 tragedy  you know  take a turn to mesmerism and phrenology when there's a
chance  teach singing-geography school for a change  sling a lecture
sometimes oh  i do lots of things most anything that comes handy  so it
ain't work   what's your lay  

 i've done considerble in the doctoring way in my time   layin' on o'
hands is my best holt for cancer and paralysis  and sich things  and i
k'n tell a fortune pretty good when i've got somebody along to find out
the facts for me   preachin's my line  too  and workin' camp-meetin's 
and missionaryin' around  

nobody never said anything for a while  then the young man hove a sigh
and says 

 alas! 

 what 're you alassin' about   says the bald-head 

 to think i should have lived to be leading such a life  and be degraded
down into such company    and he begun to wipe the corner of his eye with
a rag 

 dern your skin  ain't the company good enough for you   says the
baldhead  pretty pert and uppish 

 yes  it is good enough for me  it's as good as i deserve  for who
fetched me so low when i was so high   i did myself   i don't blame you 
gentlemen far from it  i don't blame anybody   i deserve it all   let
the cold world do its worst  one thing i know there's a grave somewhere
for me  the world may go on just as it's always done  and take everything
from me loved ones  property  everything  but it can't take that 
some day i'll lie down in it and forget it all  and my poor broken heart
will be at rest    he went on a-wiping 

 drot your pore broken heart   says the baldhead   what are you heaving
your pore broken heart at us f'r   we hain't done nothing  

 no  i know you haven't   i ain't blaming you  gentlemen   i brought
myself down yes  i did it myself   it's right i should suffer perfectly
right i don't make any moan  

 brought you down from whar   whar was you brought down from  

 ah  you would not believe me  the world never believes let it pass
 'tis no matter   the secret of my birth  

 the secret of your birth!  do you mean to say  

 gentlemen   says the young man  very solemn   i will reveal it to you 
for i feel i may have confidence in you   by rights i am a duke! 

jim's eyes bugged out when he heard that  and i reckon mine did  too 
then the baldhead says    no! you can't mean it  

 yes   my great-grandfather  eldest son of the duke of bridgewater  fled
to this country about the end of the last century  to breathe the pure
air of freedom  married here  and died  leaving a son  his own father
dying about the same time   the second son of the late duke seized the
titles and estates the infant real duke was ignored   i am the lineal
descendant of that infant i am the rightful duke of bridgewater  and
here am i  forlorn  torn from my high estate  hunted of men  despised by
the cold world  ragged  worn  heart-broken  and degraded to the
companionship of felons on a raft! 

jim pitied him ever so much  and so did i  we tried to comfort him  but
he said it warn't much use  he couldn't be much comforted  said if we was
a mind to acknowledge him  that would do him more good than most anything
else  so we said we would  if he would tell us how   he said we ought to
bow when we spoke to him  and say  your grace   or  my lord   or  your
lordship  and he wouldn't mind it if we called him plain
 bridgewater   which  he said  was a title anyway  and not a name  and
one of us ought to wait on him at dinner  and do any little thing for him
he wanted done 

well  that was all easy  so we done it   all through dinner jim stood
around and waited on him  and says   will yo' grace have some o' dis or
some o' dat   and so on  and a body could see it was mighty pleasing to
him 

but the old man got pretty silent by and by didn't have much to say  and
didn't look pretty comfortable over all that petting that was going on
around that duke   he seemed to have something on his mind   so  along in
the afternoon  he says 

 looky here  bilgewater   he says   i'm nation sorry for you  but you
ain't the only person that's had troubles like that  

 no  

 no you ain't   you ain't the only person that's ben snaked down
wrongfully out'n a high place  

 alas! 

 no  you ain't the only person that's had a secret of his birth    and 
by jings  he begins to cry 

 hold!  what do you mean  

 bilgewater  kin i trust you   says the old man  still sort of sobbing 

 to the bitter death!   he took the old man by the hand and squeezed it 
and says   that secret of your being   speak! 

 bilgewater  i am the late dauphin! 

you bet you  jim and me stared this time   then the duke says 

 you are what  

 yes  my friend  it is too true your eyes is lookin' at this very moment
on the pore disappeared dauphin  looy the seventeen  son of looy the
sixteen and marry antonette  

 you!  at your age!  no!  you mean you're the late charlemagne  you must
be six or seven hundred years old  at the very least  

 trouble has done it  bilgewater  trouble has done it  trouble has brung
these gray hairs and this premature balditude   yes  gentlemen  you see
before you  in blue jeans and misery  the wanderin'  exiled  trampled-on 
and sufferin' rightful king of france  

well  he cried and took on so that me and jim didn't know hardly what to
do  we was so sorry and so glad and proud we'd got him with us  too   so
we set in  like we done before with the duke  and tried to comfort him 
but he said it warn't no use  nothing but to be dead and done with it all
could do him any good  though he said it often made him feel easier and
better for a while if people treated him according to his rights  and got
down on one knee to speak to him  and always called him  your majesty  
and waited on him first at meals  and didn't set down in his presence
till he asked them  so jim and me set to majestying him  and doing this
and that and t'other for him  and standing up till he told us we might
set down   this done him heaps of good  and so he got cheerful and
comfortable   but the duke kind of soured on him  and didn't look a bit
satisfied with the way things was going  still  the king acted real
friendly towards him  and said the duke's great-grandfather and all the
other dukes of bilgewater was a good deal thought of by his father  and
was allowed to come to the palace considerable  but the duke stayed huffy
a good while  till by and by the king says 

 like as not we got to be together a blamed long time on this h-yer raft 
bilgewater  and so what's the use o' your bein' sour   it 'll only make
things oncomfortable   it ain't my fault i warn't born a duke  it ain't
your fault you warn't born a king so what's the use to worry   make the
best o' things the way you find 'em  says i that's my motto   this ain't
no bad thing that we've struck here plenty grub and an easy life come 
give us your hand  duke  and le's all be friends  

the duke done it  and jim and me was pretty glad to see it   it took away
all the uncomfortableness and we felt mighty good over it  because it
would a been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft 
for what you want  above all things  on a raft  is for everybody to be
satisfied  and feel right and kind towards the others 

it didn't take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no
kings nor dukes at all  but just low-down humbugs and frauds   but i
never said nothing  never let on  kept it to myself  it's the best way 
then you don't have no quarrels  and don't get into no trouble   if they
wanted us to call them kings and dukes  i hadn't no objections  'long as
it would keep peace in the family  and it warn't no use to tell jim  so i
didn't tell him   if i never learnt nothing else out of pap  i learnt
that the best way to get along with his kind of people is to let them
have their own way 




they asked us considerable many questions  wanted to know what we covered
up the raft that way for  and laid by in the daytime instead of running
 was jim a runaway nigger   says i 

 goodness sakes! would a runaway nigger run south  

no  they allowed he wouldn't   i had to account for things some way  so i
says 

 my folks was living in pike county  in missouri  where i was born  and
they all died off but me and pa and my brother ike   pa  he 'lowed he'd
break up and go down and live with uncle ben  who's got a little
one-horse place on the river  forty-four mile below orleans   pa was
pretty poor  and had some debts  so when he'd squared up there warn't
nothing left but sixteen dollars and our nigger  jim   that warn't enough
to take us fourteen hundred mile  deck passage nor no other way   well 
when the river rose pa had a streak of luck one day  he ketched this
piece of a raft  so we reckoned we'd go down to orleans on it   pa's luck
didn't hold out  a steamboat run over the forrard corner of the raft one
night  and we all went overboard and dove under the wheel  jim and me
come up all right  but pa was drunk  and ike was only four years old  so
they never come up no more   well  for the next day or two we had
considerable trouble  because people was always coming out in skiffs and
trying to take jim away from me  saying they believed he was a runaway
nigger   we don't run daytimes no more now  nights they don't bother us  

the duke says 

 leave me alone to cipher out a way so we can run in the daytime if we
want to   i'll think the thing over i'll invent a plan that'll fix it 
we'll let it alone for to-day  because of course we don't want to go by
that town yonder in daylight it mightn't be healthy  

towards night it begun to darken up and look like rain  the heat
lightning was squirting around low down in the sky  and the leaves was
beginning to shiver it was going to be pretty ugly  it was easy to see
that   so the duke and the king went to overhauling our wigwam  to see
what the beds was like   my bed was a straw tick better than jim's  which
was a corn-shuck tick  there's always cobs around about in a shuck tick 
and they poke into you and hurt  and when you roll over the dry shucks
sound like you was rolling over in a pile of dead leaves  it makes such a
rustling that you wake up   well  the duke allowed he would take my bed 
but the king allowed he wouldn't   he says 

 i should a reckoned the difference in rank would a sejested to you that
a corn-shuck bed warn't just fitten for me to sleep on   your grace 'll
take the shuck bed yourself  

jim and me was in a sweat again for a minute  being afraid there was
going to be some more trouble amongst them  so we was pretty glad when
the duke says 

 'tis my fate to be always ground into the mire under the iron heel of
oppression   misfortune has broken my once haughty spirit  i yield  i
submit  'tis my fate   i am alone in the world let me suffer  can bear
it  

we got away as soon as it was good and dark   the king told us to stand
well out towards the middle of the river  and not show a light till we
got a long ways below the town   we come in sight of the little bunch of
lights by and by that was the town  you know and slid by  about a half
a mile out  all right   when we was three-quarters of a mile below we
hoisted up our signal lantern  and about ten o'clock it come on to rain
and blow and thunder and lighten like everything  so the king told us to
both stay on watch till the weather got better  then him and the duke
crawled into the wigwam and turned in for the night   it was my watch
below till twelve  but i wouldn't a turned in anyway if i'd had a bed 
because a body don't see such a storm as that every day in the week  not
by a long sight   my souls  how the wind did scream along!  and every
second or two there'd come a glare that lit up the white-caps for a half
a mile around  and you'd see the islands looking dusty through the rain 
and the trees thrashing around in the wind  then comes a h-whack! bum!
bum! bumble-umble-um-bum-bum-bum-bum and the thunder would go rumbling
and grumbling away  and quit and then rip comes another flash and
another sockdolager   the waves most washed me off the raft sometimes 
but i hadn't any clothes on  and didn't mind   we didn't have no trouble
about snags  the lightning was glaring and flittering around so constant
that we could see them plenty soon enough to throw her head this way or
that and miss them 

i had the middle watch  you know  but i was pretty sleepy by that time 
so jim he said he would stand the first half of it for me  he was always
mighty good that way  jim was   i crawled into the wigwam  but the king
and the duke had their legs sprawled around so there warn't no show for
me  so i laid outside i didn't mind the rain  because it was warm  and
the waves warn't running so high now   about two they come up again 
though  and jim was going to call me  but he changed his mind  because he
reckoned they warn't high enough yet to do any harm  but he was mistaken
about that  for pretty soon all of a sudden along comes a regular ripper
and washed me overboard   it most killed jim a-laughing   he was the
easiest nigger to laugh that ever was  anyway 

i took the watch  and jim he laid down and snored away  and by and by the
storm let up for good and all  and the first cabin-light that showed i
rousted him out  and we slid the raft into hiding quarters for the day 

the king got out an old ratty deck of cards after breakfast  and him and
the duke played seven-up a while  five cents a game   then they got tired
of it  and allowed they would  lay out a campaign   as they called it 
the duke went down into his carpet-bag  and fetched up a lot of little
printed bills and read them out loud   one bill said   the celebrated dr 
armand de montalban  of paris   would  lecture on the science of
phrenology  at such and such a place  on the blank day of blank  at ten
cents admission  and  furnish charts of character at twenty-five cents
apiece    the duke said that was him   in another bill he was the
 world-renowned shakespearian tragedian  garrick the younger  of drury
lane  london    in other bills he had a lot of other names and done other
wonderful things  like finding water and gold with a  divining-rod  
 dissipating witch spells   and so on   by and by he says 

 but the histrionic muse is the darling   have you ever trod the boards 
royalty  

 no   says the king 

 you shall  then  before you're three days older  fallen grandeur   says
the duke    the first good town we come to we'll hire a hall and do the
sword fight in richard iii  and the balcony scene in romeo and juliet 
how does that strike you  

 i'm in  up to the hub  for anything that will pay  bilgewater  but  you
see  i don't know nothing about play-actin'  and hain't ever seen much of
it   i was too small when pap used to have 'em at the palace   do you
reckon you can learn me  

 easy! 

 all right   i'm jist a-freezn' for something fresh  anyway   le's
commence right away  

so the duke he told him all about who romeo was and who juliet was  and
said he was used to being romeo  so the king could be juliet 

 but if juliet's such a young gal  duke  my peeled head and my white
whiskers is goin' to look oncommon odd on her  maybe  

 no  don't you worry  these country jakes won't ever think of that 
besides  you know  you'll be in costume  and that makes all the
difference in the world  juliet's in a balcony  enjoying the moonlight
before she goes to bed  and she's got on her night-gown and her ruffled
nightcap   here are the costumes for the parts  

he got out two or three curtain-calico suits  which he said was meedyevil
armor for richard iii  and t'other chap  and a long white cotton
nightshirt and a ruffled nightcap to match   the king was satisfied  so
the duke got out his book and read the parts over in the most splendid
spread-eagle way  prancing around and acting at the same time  to show
how it had got to be done  then he give the book to the king and told him
to get his part by heart 

there was a little one-horse town about three mile down the bend  and
after dinner the duke said he had ciphered out his idea about how to run
in daylight without it being dangersome for jim  so he allowed he would
go down to the town and fix that thing   the king allowed he would go 
too  and see if he couldn't strike something   we was out of coffee  so
jim said i better go along with them in the canoe and get some 

when we got there there warn't nobody stirring  streets empty  and
perfectly dead and still  like sunday   we found a sick nigger sunning
himself in a back yard  and he said everybody that warn't too young or
too sick or too old was gone to camp-meeting  about two mile back in the
woods   the king got the directions  and allowed he'd go and work that
camp-meeting for all it was worth  and i might go  too 

the duke said what he was after was a printing-office   we found it  a
little bit of a concern  up over a carpenter shop carpenters and
printers all gone to the meeting  and no doors locked   it was a dirty 
littered-up place  and had ink marks  and handbills with pictures of
horses and runaway niggers on them  all over the walls   the duke shed
his coat and said he was all right now   so me and the king lit out for
the camp-meeting 

we got there in about a half an hour fairly dripping  for it was a most
awful hot day   there was as much as a thousand people there from twenty
mile around   the woods was full of teams and wagons  hitched
everywheres  feeding out of the wagon-troughs and stomping to keep off
the flies   there was sheds made out of poles and roofed over with
branches  where they had lemonade and gingerbread to sell  and piles of
watermelons and green corn and such-like truck 

the preaching was going on under the same kinds of sheds  only they was
bigger and held crowds of people   the benches was made out of outside
slabs of logs  with holes bored in the round side to drive sticks into
for legs  they didn't have no backs   the preachers had high platforms to
stand on at one end of the sheds   the women had on sun-bonnets  and some
had linsey-woolsey frocks  some gingham ones  and a few of the young ones
had on calico   some of the young men was barefooted  and some of the
children didn't have on any clothes but just a tow-linen shirt   some of
the old women was knitting  and some of the young folks was courting on
the sly 

the first shed we come to the preacher was lining out a hymn   he lined
out two lines  everybody sung it  and it was kind of grand to hear it 
there was so many of them and they done it in such a rousing way  then he
lined out two more for them to sing and so on   the people woke up more
and more  and sung louder and louder  and towards the end some begun to
groan  and some begun to shout   then the preacher begun to preach  and
begun in earnest  too  and went weaving first to one side of the platform
and then the other  and then a-leaning down over the front of it  with
his arms and his body going all the time  and shouting his words out with
all his might  and every now and then he would hold up his bible and
spread it open  and kind of pass it around this way and that  shouting 
 it's the brazen serpent in the wilderness!  look upon it and live!   and
people would shout out   glory! a-a-men!   and so he went on  and the
people groaning and crying and saying amen 

 oh  come to the mourners' bench! come  black with sin! (amen!) come 
sick and sore! (amen!) come  lame and halt and blind! (amen!) come  pore
and needy  sunk in shame! (a-a-men!) come  all that's worn and soiled and
suffering! come with a broken spirit! come with a contrite heart! come
in your rags and sin and dirt! the waters that cleanse is free  the door
of heaven stands open oh  enter in and be at rest!  (a-a-men!  glory 
glory hallelujah!)

and so on   you couldn't make out what the preacher said any more  on
account of the shouting and crying   folks got up everywheres in the
crowd  and worked their way just by main strength to the mourners' bench 
with the tears running down their faces  and when all the mourners had
got up there to the front benches in a crowd  they sung and shouted and
flung themselves down on the straw  just crazy and wild 

well  the first i knowed the king got a-going  and you could hear him
over everybody  and next he went a-charging up on to the platform  and
the preacher he begged him to speak to the people  and he done it   he
told them he was a pirate been a pirate for thirty years out in the
indian ocean and his crew was thinned out considerable last spring in
a fight  and he was home now to take out some fresh men  and thanks to
goodness he'd been robbed last night and put ashore off of a steamboat
without a cent  and he was glad of it  it was the blessedest thing that
ever happened to him  because he was a changed man now  and happy for the
first time in his life  and  poor as he was  he was going to start right
off and work his way back to the indian ocean  and put in the rest of his
life trying to turn the pirates into the true path  for he could do it
better than anybody else  being acquainted with all pirate crews in that
ocean  and though it would take him a long time to get there without
money  he would get there anyway  and every time he convinced a pirate he
would say to him   don't you thank me  don't you give me no credit  it
all belongs to them dear people in pokeville camp-meeting  natural
brothers and benefactors of the race  and that dear preacher there  the
truest friend a pirate ever had! 

and then he busted into tears  and so did everybody   then somebody sings
out   take up a collection for him  take up a collection!   well  a half
a dozen made a jump to do it  but somebody sings out   let him pass the
hat around!   then everybody said it  the preacher too 

so the king went all through the crowd with his hat swabbing his eyes 
and blessing the people and praising them and thanking them for being so
good to the poor pirates away off there  and every little while the
prettiest kind of girls  with the tears running down their cheeks  would
up and ask him would he let them kiss him for to remember him by  and he
always done it  and some of them he hugged and kissed as many as five or
six times and he was invited to stay a week  and everybody wanted him to
live in their houses  and said they'd think it was an honor  but he said
as this was the last day of the camp-meeting he couldn't do no good  and
besides he was in a sweat to get to the indian ocean right off and go to
work on the pirates 

when we got back to the raft and he come to count up he found he had
collected eighty-seven dollars and seventy-five cents   and then he had
fetched away a three-gallon jug of whisky  too  that he found under a
wagon when he was starting home through the woods   the king said  take
it all around  it laid over any day he'd ever put in in the missionarying
line   he said it warn't no use talking  heathens don't amount to shucks
alongside of pirates to work a camp-meeting with 

the duke was thinking he'd been doing pretty well till the king come to
show up  but after that he didn't think so so much   he had set up and
printed off two little jobs for farmers in that printing-office horse
bills and took the money  four dollars   and he had got in ten
dollars' worth of advertisements for the paper  which he said he would
put in for four dollars if they would pay in advance so they done it 
the price of the paper was two dollars a year  but he took in three
subscriptions for half a dollar apiece on condition of them paying him in
advance  they were going to pay in cordwood and onions as usual  but he
said he had just bought the concern and knocked down the price as low as
he could afford it  and was going to run it for cash   he set up a little
piece of poetry  which he made  himself  out of his own head three
verses kind of sweet and saddish the name of it was   yes  crush  cold
world  this breaking heart  and he left that all set up and ready to
print in the paper  and didn't charge nothing for it   well  he took in
nine dollars and a half  and said he'd done a pretty square day's work
for it 

then he showed us another little job he'd printed and hadn't charged for 
because it was for us   it had a picture of a runaway nigger with a
bundle on a stick over his shoulder  and  $200 reward  under it   the
reading was all about jim  and just described him to a dot   it said he
run away from st  jacques' plantation  forty mile below new orleans  last
winter  and likely went north  and whoever would catch him and send him
back he could have the reward and expenses 

 now   says the duke   after to-night we can run in the daytime if we
want to   whenever we see anybody coming we can tie jim hand and foot
with a rope  and lay him in the wigwam and show this handbill and say we
captured him up the river  and were too poor to travel on a steamboat  so
we got this little raft on credit from our friends and are going down to
get the reward   handcuffs and chains would look still better on jim  but
it wouldn't go well with the story of us being so poor   too much like
jewelry   ropes are the correct thing we must preserve the unities  as
we say on the boards  

we all said the duke was pretty smart  and there couldn't be no trouble
about running daytimes   we judged we could make miles enough that night
to get out of the reach of the powwow we reckoned the duke's work in the
printing office was going to make in that little town  then we could boom
right along if we wanted to 

we laid low and kept still  and never shoved out till nearly ten o'clock 
then we slid by  pretty wide away from the town  and didn't hoist our
lantern till we was clear out of sight of it 

when jim called me to take the watch at four in the morning  he says 

 huck  does you reck'n we gwyne to run acrost any mo' kings on dis trip  

 no   i says   i reckon not  

 well   says he   dat's all right  den   i doan' mine one er two kings 
but dat's enough   dis one's powerful drunk  en de duke ain' much
better  

i found jim had been trying to get him to talk french  so he could hear
what it was like  but he said he had been in this country so long  and
had so much trouble  he'd forgot it 




it was after sun-up now  but we went right on and didn't tie up   the
king and the duke turned out by and by looking pretty rusty  but after
they'd jumped overboard and took a swim it chippered them up a good deal 
after breakfast the king he took a seat on the corner of the raft  and
pulled off his boots and rolled up his britches  and let his legs dangle
in the water  so as to be comfortable  and lit his pipe  and went to
getting his romeo and juliet by heart   when he had got it pretty good
him and the duke begun to practice it together   the duke had to learn
him over and over again how to say every speech  and he made him sigh 
and put his hand on his heart  and after a while he said he done it
pretty well   only   he says   you mustn't bellow out romeo! that way 
like a bull you must say it soft and sick and languishy  so r-o-o-meo!
that is the idea  for juliet's a dear sweet mere child of a girl  you
know  and she doesn't bray like a jackass  

well  next they got out a couple of long swords that the duke made out of
oak laths  and begun to practice the sword fight the duke called himself
richard iii   and the way they laid on and pranced around the raft was
grand to see   but by and by the king tripped and fell overboard  and
after that they took a rest  and had a talk about all kinds of adventures
they'd had in other times along the river 

after dinner the duke says 

 well  capet  we'll want to make this a first-class show  you know  so i
guess we'll add a little more to it   we want a little something to
answer encores with  anyway  

 what's onkores  bilgewater  

the duke told him  and then says 

 i'll answer by doing the highland fling or the sailor's hornpipe  and
you well  let me see oh  i've got it you can do hamlet's soliloquy  

 hamlet's which  

 hamlet's soliloquy  you know  the most celebrated thing in shakespeare 
ah  it's sublime  sublime!  always fetches the house   i haven't got it
in the book i've only got one volume but i reckon i can piece it out
from memory   i'll just walk up and down a minute  and see if i can call
it back from recollection's vaults  

so he went to marching up and down  thinking  and frowning horrible every
now and then  then he would hoist up his eyebrows  next he would squeeze
his hand on his forehead and stagger back and kind of moan  next he would
sigh  and next he'd let on to drop a tear   it was beautiful to see him 
by and by he got it   he told us to give attention   then he strikes a
most noble attitude  with one leg shoved forwards  and his arms stretched
away up  and his head tilted back  looking up at the sky  and then he
begins to rip and rave and grit his teeth  and after that  all through
his speech  he howled  and spread around  and swelled up his chest  and
just knocked the spots out of any acting ever i see before   this is the
speech i learned it  easy enough  while he was learning it to the king 

to be  or not to be  that is the bare bodkin that makes calamity of so
long life  for who would fardels bear  till birnam wood do come to
dunsinane  but that the fear of something after death murders the
innocent sleep  great nature's second course  and makes us rather sling
the arrows of outrageous fortune than fly to others that we know not of 
there's the respect must give us pause  wake duncan with thy knocking!  i
would thou couldst  for who would bear the whips and scorns of time  the
oppressor's wrong  the proud man's contumely  the law's delay  and the
quietus which his pangs might take  in the dead waste and middle of the
night  when churchyards yawn in customary suits of solemn black  but that
the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns  breathes
forth contagion on the world  and thus the native hue of resolution  like
the poor cat i' the adage  is sicklied o'er with care  and all the clouds
that lowered o'er our housetops  with this regard their currents turn
awry  and lose the name of action  'tis a consummation devoutly to be
wished   but soft you  the fair ophelia  ope not thy ponderous and marble
jaws  but get thee to a nunnery go!

well  the old man he liked that speech  and he mighty soon got it so he
could do it first-rate   it seemed like he was just born for it  and when
he had his hand in and was excited  it was perfectly lovely the way he
would rip and tear and rair up behind when he was getting it off 

the first chance we got the duke he had some showbills printed  and after
that  for two or three days as we floated along  the raft was a most
uncommon lively place  for there warn't nothing but sword fighting and
rehearsing as the duke called it going on all the time   one morning 
when we was pretty well down the state of arkansaw  we come in sight of a
little one-horse town in a big bend  so we tied up about three-quarters
of a mile above it  in the mouth of a crick which was shut in like a
tunnel by the cypress trees  and all of us but jim took the canoe and
went down there to see if there was any chance in that place for our
show 

we struck it mighty lucky  there was going to be a circus there that
afternoon  and the country people was already beginning to come in  in
all kinds of old shackly wagons  and on horses   the circus would leave
before night  so our show would have a pretty good chance   the duke he
hired the courthouse  and we went around and stuck up our bills   they
read like this 

shaksperean revival ! ! !
wonderful attraction!
for one night only!

the world renowned tragedians  david garrick the younger  of drury lane
theatre london  and edmund kean the elder  of the royal haymarket
theatre  whitechapel  pudding lane  piccadilly  london  and the royal
continental theatres  in their sublime shaksperean spectacle entitled

the balcony scene in romeo and juliet ! ! !

romeo                   mr  garrick
juliet                  mr  kean

assisted by the whole strength of the company!
new costumes  new scenes  new appointments!
also  the thrilling  masterly  and blood-curdling
broad-sword conflict in richard iii  ! ! !

richard iii             mr  garrick
richmond                mr  kean

also  (by special request) hamlet's immortal soliloquy ! !
by the illustrious kean! done by him 300 consecutive nights in paris!
for one night only  on account of imperative european engagements!
admission 25 cents  children and servants  10 cents 

then we went loafing around town   the stores and houses was most all
old  shackly  dried up frame concerns that hadn't ever been painted  they
was set up three or four foot above ground on stilts  so as to be out of
reach of the water when the river was over-flowed   the houses had little
gardens around them  but they didn't seem to raise hardly anything in
them but jimpson-weeds  and sunflowers  and ash piles  and old curled-up
boots and shoes  and pieces of bottles  and rags  and played-out tinware 
the fences was made of different kinds of boards  nailed on at different
times  and they leaned every which way  and had gates that didn't generly
have but one hinge a leather one   some of the fences had been
white-washed some time or another  but the duke said it was in clumbus'
time  like enough   there was generly hogs in the garden  and people
driving them out 

all the stores was along one street   they had white domestic awnings in
front  and the country people hitched their horses to the awning-posts 
there was empty drygoods boxes under the awnings  and loafers roosting on
them all day long  whittling them with their barlow knives  and chawing
tobacco  and gaping and yawning and stretching a mighty ornery lot 
they generly had on yellow straw hats most as wide as an umbrella  but
didn't wear no coats nor waistcoats  they called one another bill  and
buck  and hank  and joe  and andy  and talked lazy and drawly  and used
considerable many cuss words   there was as many as one loafer leaning up
against every awning-post  and he most always had his hands in his
britches-pockets  except when he fetched them out to lend a chaw of
tobacco or scratch   what a body was hearing amongst them all the time
was 

 gimme a chaw 'v tobacker  hank  

 cain't  i hain't got but one chaw left   ask bill  

maybe bill he gives him a chaw  maybe he lies and says he ain't got none 
some of them kinds of loafers never has a cent in the world  nor a chaw
of tobacco of their own   they get all their chawing by borrowing  they
say to a fellow   i wisht you'd len' me a chaw  jack  i jist this minute
give ben thompson the last chaw i had  which is a lie pretty much
everytime  it don't fool nobody but a stranger  but jack ain't no
stranger  so he says 

 you give him a chaw  did you   so did your sister's cat's grandmother 
you pay me back the chaws you've awready borry'd off'n me  lafe buckner 
then i'll loan you one or two ton of it  and won't charge you no back
intrust  nuther  

 well  i did pay you back some of it wunst  

 yes  you did 'bout six chaws   you borry'd store tobacker and paid back
nigger-head  

store tobacco is flat black plug  but these fellows mostly chaws the
natural leaf twisted   when they borrow a chaw they don't generly cut it
off with a knife  but set the plug in between their teeth  and gnaw with
their teeth and tug at the plug with their hands till they get it in two 
then sometimes the one that owns the tobacco looks mournful at it when
it's handed back  and says  sarcastic 

 here  gimme the chaw  and you take the plug  

all the streets and lanes was just mud  they warn't nothing else but mud
 mud as black as tar and nigh about a foot deep in some places  and two
or three inches deep in all the places   the hogs loafed and grunted
around everywheres   you'd see a muddy sow and a litter of pigs come
lazying along the street and whollop herself right down in the way  where
folks had to walk around her  and she'd stretch out and shut her eyes and
wave her ears whilst the pigs was milking her  and look as happy as if
she was on salary  and pretty soon you'd hear a loafer sing out   hi!  so
boy! sick him  tige!  and away the sow would go  squealing most horrible 
with a dog or two swinging to each ear  and three or four dozen more
a-coming  and then you would see all the loafers get up and watch the thing
out of sight  and laugh at the fun and look grateful for the noise   then
they'd settle back again till there was a dog fight   there couldn't
anything wake them up all over  and make them happy all over  like a dog
fight unless it might be putting turpentine on a stray dog and setting
fire to him  or tying a tin pan to his tail and see him run himself to
death 

on the river front some of the houses was sticking out over the bank  and
they was bowed and bent  and about ready to tumble in  the people had
moved out of them   the bank was caved away under one corner of some
others  and that corner was hanging over   people lived in them yet  but
it was dangersome  because sometimes a strip of land as wide as a house
caves in at a time   sometimes a belt of land a quarter of a mile deep
will start in and cave along and cave along till it all caves into the
river in one summer  such a town as that has to be always moving back 
and back  and back  because the river's always gnawing at it 

the nearer it got to noon that day the thicker and thicker was the wagons
and horses in the streets  and more coming all the time   families
fetched their dinners with them from the country  and eat them in the
wagons   there was considerable whisky drinking going on  and i seen
three fights   by and by somebody sings out 

 here comes old boggs! in from the country for his little old monthly
drunk  here he comes  boys! 

all the loafers looked glad  i reckoned they was used to having fun out
of boggs   one of them says 

 wonder who he's a-gwyne to chaw up this time   if he'd a-chawed up all
the men he's ben a-gwyne to chaw up in the last twenty year he'd have
considerable ruputation now  

another one says   i wisht old boggs 'd threaten me  'cuz then i'd know i
warn't gwyne to die for a thousan' year  

boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse  whooping and yelling like an
injun  and singing out 

 cler the track  thar   i'm on the waw-path  and the price uv coffins is
a-gwyne to raise  

he was drunk  and weaving about in his saddle  he was over fifty year
old  and had a very red face   everybody yelled at him and laughed at him
and sassed him  and he sassed back  and said he'd attend to them and lay
them out in their regular turns  but he couldn't wait now because he'd
come to town to kill old colonel sherburn  and his motto was   meat
first  and spoon vittles to top off on  

he see me  and rode up and says 

 whar'd you come f'm  boy   you prepared to die  

then he rode on   i was scared  but a man says 

 he don't mean nothing  he's always a-carryin' on like that when he's
drunk   he's the best naturedest old fool in arkansaw never hurt nobody 
drunk nor sober  

boggs rode up before the biggest store in town  and bent his head down so
he could see under the curtain of the awning and yells 

 come out here  sherburn! come out and meet the man you've swindled 
you're the houn' i'm after  and i'm a-gwyne to have you  too! 

and so he went on  calling sherburn everything he could lay his tongue
to  and the whole street packed with people listening and laughing and
going on   by and by a proud-looking man about fifty-five and he was a
heap the best dressed man in that town  too steps out of the store  and
the crowd drops back on each side to let him come   he says to boggs 
mighty ca'm and slow he says 

 i'm tired of this  but i'll endure it till one o'clock   till one
o'clock  mind no longer   if you open your mouth against me only once
after that time you can't travel so far but i will find you  

then he turns and goes in   the crowd looked mighty sober  nobody
stirred  and there warn't no more laughing   boggs rode off blackguarding
sherburn as loud as he could yell  all down the street  and pretty soon
back he comes and stops before the store  still keeping it up   some men
crowded around him and tried to get him to shut up  but he wouldn't  they
told him it would be one o'clock in about fifteen minutes  and so he must
go home he must go right away   but it didn't do no good   he cussed
away with all his might  and throwed his hat down in the mud and rode
over it  and pretty soon away he went a-raging down the street again 
with his gray hair a-flying  everybody that could get a chance at him
tried their best to coax him off of his horse so they could lock him up
and get him sober  but it warn't no use up the street he would tear
again  and give sherburn another cussing   by and by somebody says 

 go for his daughter! quick  go for his daughter  sometimes he'll listen
to her   if anybody can persuade him  she can  

so somebody started on a run   i walked down street a ways and stopped 
in about five or ten minutes here comes boggs again  but not on his
horse   he was a-reeling across the street towards me  bare-headed  with
a friend on both sides of him a-holt of his arms and hurrying him along 
he was quiet  and looked uneasy  and he warn't hanging back any  but was
doing some of the hurrying himself   somebody sings out 

 boggs! 

i looked over there to see who said it  and it was that colonel sherburn 
he was standing perfectly still in the street  and had a pistol raised in
his right hand not aiming it  but holding it out with the barrel tilted
up towards the sky   the same second i see a young girl coming on the
run  and two men with her   boggs and the men turned round to see who
called him  and when they see the pistol the men jumped to one side  and
the pistol-barrel come down slow and steady to a level both barrels
cocked  boggs throws up both of his hands and says   o lord  don't
shoot!   bang! goes the first shot  and he staggers back  clawing at the
air bang! goes the second one  and he tumbles backwards on to the
ground  heavy and solid  with his arms spread out   that young girl
screamed out and comes rushing  and down she throws herself on her
father  crying  and saying   oh  he's killed him  he's killed him!   the
crowd closed up around them  and shouldered and jammed one another  with
their necks stretched  trying to see  and people on the inside trying to
shove them back and shouting   back  back! give him air  give him air! 

colonel sherburn he tossed his pistol on to the ground  and turned around
on his heels and walked off 

they took boggs to a little drug store  the crowd pressing around just
the same  and the whole town following  and i rushed and got a good place
at the window  where i was close to him and could see in   they laid him
on the floor and put one large bible under his head  and opened another
one and spread it on his breast  but they tore open his shirt first  and
i seen where one of the bullets went in   he made about a dozen long
gasps  his breast lifting the bible up when he drawed in his breath  and
letting it down again when he breathed it out and after that he laid
still  he was dead   then they pulled his daughter away from him 
screaming and crying  and took her off   she was about sixteen  and very
sweet and gentle looking  but awful pale and scared 

well  pretty soon the whole town was there  squirming and scrouging and
pushing and shoving to get at the window and have a look  but people that
had the places wouldn't give them up  and folks behind them was saying
all the time   say  now  you've looked enough  you fellows  'tain't right
and 'tain't fair for you to stay thar all the time  and never give nobody
a chance  other folks has their rights as well as you  

there was considerable jawing back  so i slid out  thinking maybe there
was going to be trouble   the streets was full  and everybody was
excited  everybody that seen the shooting was telling how it happened 
and there was a big crowd packed around each one of these fellows 
stretching their necks and listening   one long  lanky man  with long
hair and a big white fur stovepipe hat on the back of his head  and a
crooked-handled cane  marked out the places on the ground where boggs
stood and where sherburn stood  and the people following him around from
one place to t'other and watching everything he done  and bobbing their
heads to show they understood  and stooping a little and resting their
hands on their thighs to watch him mark the places on the ground with his
cane  and then he stood up straight and stiff where sherburn had stood 
frowning and having his hat-brim down over his eyes  and sung out 
 boggs!  and then fetched his cane down slow to a level  and says  bang! 
staggered backwards  says  bang!  again  and fell down flat on his back 
the people that had seen the thing said he done it perfect  said it was
just exactly the way it all happened   then as much as a dozen people got
out their bottles and treated him 

well  by and by somebody said sherburn ought to be lynched   in about a
minute everybody was saying it  so away they went  mad and yelling  and
snatching down every clothes-line they come to to do the hanging with 




they swarmed up towards sherburn's house  a-whooping and raging like
injuns  and everything had to clear the way or get run over and tromped
to mush  and it was awful to see   children was heeling it ahead of the
mob  screaming and trying to get out of the way  and every window along
the road was full of women's heads  and there was nigger boys in every
tree  and bucks and wenches looking over every fence  and as soon as the
mob would get nearly to them they would break and skaddle back out of
reach   lots of the women and girls was crying and taking on  scared most
to death 

they swarmed up in front of sherburn's palings as thick as they could jam
together  and you couldn't hear yourself think for the noise   it was a
little twenty-foot yard   some sung out  tear down the fence! tear down
the fence!   then there was a racket of ripping and tearing and smashing 
and down she goes  and the front wall of the crowd begins to roll in like
a wave 

just then sherburn steps out on to the roof of his little front porch 
with a double-barrel gun in his hand  and takes his stand  perfectly ca'm
and deliberate  not saying a word   the racket stopped  and the wave
sucked back 

sherburn never said a word just stood there  looking down   the
stillness was awful creepy and uncomfortable   sherburn run his eye slow
along the crowd  and wherever it struck the people tried a little to
out-gaze him  but they couldn't  they dropped their eyes and looked sneaky 
then pretty soon sherburn sort of laughed  not the pleasant kind  but the
kind that makes you feel like when you are eating bread that's got sand
in it 

then he says  slow and scornful 

 the idea of you lynching anybody!  it's amusing   the idea of you
thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a man!  because you're brave
enough to tar and feather poor friendless cast-out women that come along
here  did that make you think you had grit enough to lay your hands on a
man   why  a man's safe in the hands of ten thousand of your kind as
long as it's daytime and you're not behind him 

 do i know you   i know you clear through was born and raised in the
south  and i've lived in the north  so i know the average all around 
the average man's a coward   in the north he lets anybody walk over him
that wants to  and goes home and prays for a humble spirit to bear it 
in the south one man all by himself  has stopped a stage full of men in
the daytime  and robbed the lot   your newspapers call you a brave people
so much that you think you are braver than any other people whereas
you're just as brave  and no braver   why don't your juries hang
murderers   because they're afraid the man's friends will shoot them in
the back  in the dark and it's just what they would do 

 so they always acquit  and then a man goes in the night  with a hundred
masked cowards at his back and lynches the rascal   your mistake is  that
you didn't bring a man with you  that's one mistake  and the other is
that you didn't come in the dark and fetch your masks   you brought part
of a man buck harkness  there and if you hadn't had him to start you 
you'd a taken it out in blowing 

 you didn't want to come   the average man don't like trouble and danger 
you don't like trouble and danger   but if only half a man like buck
harkness  there shouts 'lynch him! lynch him!' you're afraid to back
down afraid you'll be found out to be what you are cowards and so
you raise a yell  and hang yourselves on to that half-a-man's coat-tail 
and come raging up here  swearing what big things you're going to do 
the pitifulest thing out is a mob  that's what an army is a mob  they
don't fight with courage that's born in them  but with courage that's
borrowed from their mass  and from their officers   but a mob without any
man at the head of it is beneath pitifulness   now the thing for you to
do is to droop your tails and go home and crawl in a hole   if any real
lynching's going to be done it will be done in the dark  southern
fashion  and when they come they'll bring their masks  and fetch a man
along   now leave and take your half-a-man with you  tossing his gun up
across his left arm and cocking it when he says this 

the crowd washed back sudden  and then broke all apart  and went tearing
off every which way  and buck harkness he heeled it after them  looking
tolerable cheap   i could a stayed if i wanted to  but i didn't want to 

i went to the circus and loafed around the back side till the watchman
went by  and then dived in under the tent   i had my twenty-dollar gold
piece and some other money  but i reckoned i better save it  because
there ain't no telling how soon you are going to need it  away from home
and amongst strangers that way   you can't be too careful   i ain't
opposed to spending money on circuses when there ain't no other way  but
there ain't no use in wasting it on them 

it was a real bully circus   it was the splendidest sight that ever was
when they all come riding in  two and two  a gentleman and lady  side by
side  the men just in their drawers and undershirts  and no shoes nor
stirrups  and resting their hands on their thighs easy and comfortable
 there must a been twenty of them and every lady with a lovely
complexion  and perfectly beautiful  and looking just like a gang of real
sure-enough queens  and dressed in clothes that cost millions of dollars 
and just littered with diamonds   it was a powerful fine sight  i never
see anything so lovely   and then one by one they got up and stood  and
went a-weaving around the ring so gentle and wavy and graceful  the men
looking ever so tall and airy and straight  with their heads bobbing and
skimming along  away up there under the tent-roof  and every lady's
rose-leafy dress flapping soft and silky around her hips  and she looking
like the most loveliest parasol 

and then faster and faster they went  all of them dancing  first one foot
out in the air and then the other  the horses leaning more and more  and
the ringmaster going round and round the center-pole  cracking his whip
and shouting  hi! hi!  and the clown cracking jokes behind him  and by
and by all hands dropped the reins  and every lady put her knuckles on
her hips and every gentleman folded his arms  and then how the horses did
lean over and hump themselves!  and so one after the other they all
skipped off into the ring  and made the sweetest bow i ever see  and then
scampered out  and everybody clapped their hands and went just about
wild 

well  all through the circus they done the most astonishing things  and
all the time that clown carried on so it most killed the people   the
ringmaster couldn't ever say a word to him but he was back at him quick
as a wink with the funniest things a body ever said  and how he ever
could think of so many of them  and so sudden and so pat  was what i
couldn't noway understand  why  i couldn't a thought of them in a year 
and by and by a drunk man tried to get into the ring said he wanted to
ride  said he could ride as well as anybody that ever was   they argued
and tried to keep him out  but he wouldn't listen  and the whole show
come to a standstill   then the people begun to holler at him and make
fun of him  and that made him mad  and he begun to rip and tear  so that
stirred up the people  and a lot of men begun to pile down off of the
benches and swarm towards the ring  saying   knock him down! throw him
out!  and one or two women begun to scream   so  then  the ringmaster he
made a little speech  and said he hoped there wouldn't be no disturbance 
and if the man would promise he wouldn't make no more trouble he would
let him ride if he thought he could stay on the horse   so everybody
laughed and said all right  and the man got on  the minute he was on  the
horse begun to rip and tear and jump and cavort around  with two circus
men hanging on to his bridle trying to hold him  and the drunk man
hanging on to his neck  and his heels flying in the air every jump  and
the whole crowd of people standing up shouting and laughing till tears
rolled down   and at last  sure enough  all the circus men could do  the
horse broke loose  and away he went like the very nation  round and round
the ring  with that sot laying down on him and hanging to his neck  with
first one leg hanging most to the ground on one side  and then t'other
one on t'other side  and the people just crazy   it warn't funny to me 
though  i was all of a tremble to see his danger   but pretty soon he
struggled up astraddle and grabbed the bridle  a-reeling this way and
that  and the next minute he sprung up and dropped the bridle and stood!
and the horse a-going like a house afire too   he just stood up there 
a-sailing around as easy and comfortable as if he warn't ever drunk in his
life and then he begun to pull off his clothes and sling them   he shed
them so thick they kind of clogged up the air  and altogether he shed
seventeen suits  and  then  there he was  slim and handsome  and dressed
the gaudiest and prettiest you ever saw  and he lit into that horse with
his whip and made him fairly hum and finally skipped off  and made his
bow and danced off to the dressing-room  and everybody just a-howling
with pleasure and astonishment 

then the ringmaster he see how he had been fooled  and he was the sickest
ringmaster you ever see  i reckon   why  it was one of his own men!  he
had got up that joke all out of his own head  and never let on to nobody 
well  i felt sheepish enough to be took in so  but i wouldn't a been in
that ringmaster's place  not for a thousand dollars   i don't know  there
may be bullier circuses than what that one was  but i never struck them
yet  anyways  it was plenty good enough for me  and wherever i run across
it  it can have all of my custom every time 

well  that night we had our show  but there warn't only about twelve
people there just enough to pay expenses   and they laughed all the
time  and that made the duke mad  and everybody left  anyway  before the
show was over  but one boy which was asleep   so the duke said these
arkansaw lunkheads couldn't come up to shakespeare  what they wanted was
low comedy and maybe something ruther worse than low comedy  he
reckoned   he said he could size their style   so next morning he got
some big sheets of wrapping paper and some black paint  and drawed off
some handbills  and stuck them up all over the village   the bills said 

at the court house! for 3 nights only!
the world-renowned tragedians
david garrick the younger!
and edmund kean the elder!
of the london and
continental theatres 
in their thrilling tragedy of
the king's cameleopard 
or the royal nonesuch ! ! !
admission 50 cents 

then at the bottom was the biggest line of all  which said 

ladies and children not admitted 

 there   says he   if that line don't fetch them  i don't know arkansaw! 




well  all day him and the king was hard at it  rigging up a stage and a
curtain and a row of candles for footlights  and that night the house was
jam full of men in no time   when the place couldn't hold no more  the
duke he quit tending door and went around the back way and come on to the
stage and stood up before the curtain and made a little speech  and
praised up this tragedy  and said it was the most thrillingest one that
ever was  and so he went on a-bragging about the tragedy  and about
edmund kean the elder  which was to play the main principal part in it 
and at last when he'd got everybody's expectations up high enough  he
rolled up the curtain  and the next minute the king come a-prancing out
on all fours  naked  and he was painted all over  ring-streaked-and-
striped  all sorts of colors  as splendid as a rainbow   and but never
mind the rest of his outfit  it was just wild  but it was awful funny 
the people most killed themselves laughing  and when the king got done
capering and capered off behind the scenes  they roared and clapped and
stormed and haw-hawed till he come back and done it over again  and after
that they made him do it another time  well  it would make a cow laugh to
see the shines that old idiot cut 

then the duke he lets the curtain down  and bows to the people  and says
the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more  on accounts of
pressing london engagements  where the seats is all sold already for it
in drury lane  and then he makes them another bow  and says if he has
succeeded in pleasing them and instructing them  he will be deeply
obleeged if they will mention it to their friends and get them to come
and see it 

twenty people sings out 

 what  is it over   is that all  

the duke says yes   then there was a fine time   everybody sings out 
 sold!  and rose up mad  and was a-going for that stage and them
tragedians   but a big  fine looking man jumps up on a bench and shouts 

 hold on!  just a word  gentlemen    they stopped to listen    we are
sold mighty badly sold   but we don't want to be the laughing stock of
this whole town  i reckon  and never hear the last of this thing as long
as we live   no   what we want is to go out of here quiet  and talk this
show up  and sell the rest of the town!  then we'll all be in the same
boat   ain't that sensible   ( you bet it is! the jedge is right! 
everybody sings out )  all right  then not a word about any sell   go
along home  and advise everybody to come and see the tragedy  

next day you couldn't hear nothing around that town but how splendid that
show was   house was jammed again that night  and we sold this crowd the
same way   when me and the king and the duke got home to the raft we all
had a supper  and by and by  about midnight  they made jim and me back
her out and float her down the middle of the river  and fetch her in and
hide her about two mile below town 

the third night the house was crammed again and they warn't new-comers
this time  but people that was at the show the other two nights   i stood
by the duke at the door  and i see that every man that went in had his
pockets bulging  or something muffled up under his coat and i see it
warn't no perfumery  neither  not by a long sight   i smelt sickly eggs
by the barrel  and rotten cabbages  and such things  and if i know the
signs of a dead cat being around  and i bet i do  there was sixty-four of
them went in   i shoved in there for a minute  but it was too various for
me  i couldn't stand it   well  when the place couldn't hold no more
people the duke he give a fellow a quarter and told him to tend door for
him a minute  and then he started around for the stage door  i after him 
but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark he says 

 walk fast now till you get away from the houses  and then shin for the
raft like the dickens was after you! 

i done it  and he done the same   we struck the raft at the same time 
and in less than two seconds we was gliding down stream  all dark and
still  and edging towards the middle of the river  nobody saying a word 
i reckoned the poor king was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience 
but nothing of the sort  pretty soon he crawls out from under the wigwam 
and says 

 well  how'd the old thing pan out this time  duke    he hadn't been
up-town at all 

we never showed a light till we was about ten mile below the village 
then we lit up and had a supper  and the king and the duke fairly laughed
their bones loose over the way they'd served them people   the duke says 

 greenhorns  flatheads!  i knew the first house would keep mum and let
the rest of the town get roped in  and i knew they'd lay for us the third
night  and consider it was their turn now   well  it is their turn  and
i'd give something to know how much they'd take for it   i would just
like to know how they're putting in their opportunity   they can turn it
into a picnic if they want to they brought plenty provisions  

them rapscallions took in four hundred and sixty-five dollars in that
three nights   i never see money hauled in by the wagon-load like that
before   by and by  when they was asleep and snoring  jim says 

 don't it s'prise you de way dem kings carries on  huck  

 no   i says   it don't  

 why don't it  huck  

 well  it don't  because it's in the breed   i reckon they're all alike  

 but  huck  dese kings o' ourn is reglar rapscallions  dat's jist what
dey is  dey's reglar rapscallions  

 well  that's what i'm a-saying  all kings is mostly rapscallions  as fur
as i can make out  

 is dat so  

 you read about them once you'll see   look at henry the eight  this 'n
's a sunday-school superintendent to him   and look at charles second 
and louis fourteen  and louis fifteen  and james second  and edward
second  and richard third  and forty more  besides all them saxon
heptarchies that used to rip around so in old times and raise cain   my 
you ought to seen old henry the eight when he was in bloom   he was a
blossom   he used to marry a new wife every day  and chop off her head
next morning   and he would do it just as indifferent as if he was
ordering up eggs   'fetch up nell gwynn ' he says   they fetch her up 
next morning  'chop off her head!'  and they chop it off   'fetch up jane
shore ' he says  and up she comes  next morning  'chop off her head' and
they chop it off   'ring up fair rosamun '  fair rosamun answers the
bell   next morning  'chop off her head '  and he made every one of them
tell him a tale every night  and he kept that up till he had hogged a
thousand and one tales that way  and then he put them all in a book  and
called it domesday book which was a good name and stated the case   you
don't know kings  jim  but i know them  and this old rip of ourn is one
of the cleanest i've struck in history   well  henry he takes a notion he
wants to get up some trouble with this country  how does he go at it
 give notice  give the country a show   no   all of a sudden he heaves
all the tea in boston harbor overboard  and whacks out a declaration of
independence  and dares them to come on   that was his style he never
give anybody a chance   he had suspicions of his father  the duke of
wellington   well  what did he do   ask him to show up   no drownded
him in a butt of mamsey  like a cat   s'pose people left money laying
around where he was what did he do   he collared it   s'pose he
contracted to do a thing  and you paid him  and didn't set down there and
see that he done it what did he do   he always done the other thing 
s'pose he opened his mouth what then   if he didn't shut it up powerful
quick he'd lose a lie every time   that's the kind of a bug henry was 
and if we'd a had him along 'stead of our kings he'd a fooled that town a
heap worse than ourn done   i don't say that ourn is lambs  because they
ain't  when you come right down to the cold facts  but they ain't nothing
to that old ram  anyway   all i say is  kings is kings  and you got to
make allowances   take them all around  they're a mighty ornery lot 
it's the way they're raised  

 but dis one do smell so like de nation  huck  

 well  they all do  jim   we can't help the way a king smells  history
don't tell no way  

 now de duke  he's a tolerble likely man in some ways  

 yes  a duke's different   but not very different   this one's a middling
hard lot for a duke   when he's drunk there ain't no near-sighted man
could tell him from a king  

 well  anyways  i doan' hanker for no mo' un um  huck   dese is all i kin
stan'  

 it's the way i feel  too  jim   but we've got them on our hands  and we
got to remember what they are  and make allowances   sometimes i wish we
could hear of a country that's out of kings  

what was the use to tell jim these warn't real kings and dukes   it
wouldn't a done no good  and  besides  it was just as i said   you
couldn't tell them from the real kind 

i went to sleep  and jim didn't call me when it was my turn   he often
done that   when i waked up just at daybreak he was sitting there with
his head down betwixt his knees  moaning and mourning to himself   i
didn't take notice nor let on   i knowed what it was about   he was
thinking about his wife and his children  away up yonder  and he was low
and homesick  because he hadn't ever been away from home before in his
life  and i do believe he cared just as much for his people as white
folks does for their'n   it don't seem natural  but i reckon it's so   he
was often moaning and mourning that way nights  when he judged i was
asleep  and saying   po' little 'lizabeth! po' little johnny! it's mighty
hard  i spec' i ain't ever gwyne to see you no mo'  no mo'!   he was a
mighty good nigger  jim was 

but this time i somehow got to talking to him about his wife and young
ones  and by and by he says 

 what makes me feel so bad dis time 'uz bekase i hear sumpn over yonder
on de bank like a whack  er a slam  while ago  en it mine me er de time i
treat my little 'lizabeth so ornery   she warn't on'y 'bout fo' year ole 
en she tuck de sk'yarlet fever  en had a powful rough spell  but she got
well  en one day she was a-stannin' aroun'  en i says to her  i says 

 'shet de do' '

 she never done it  jis' stood dah  kiner smilin' up at me   it make me
mad  en i says agin  mighty loud  i says 

 'doan' you hear me   shet de do'!'

 she jis stood de same way  kiner smilin' up   i was a-bilin'!  i says 

 'i lay i make you mine!'

 en wid dat i fetch' her a slap side de head dat sont her a-sprawlin' 
den i went into de yuther room  en 'uz gone 'bout ten minutes  en when i
come back dah was dat do' a-stannin' open yit  en dat chile stannin' mos'
right in it  a-lookin' down and mournin'  en de tears runnin' down   my 
but i wuz mad!  i was a-gwyne for de chile  but jis' den it was a do'
dat open innerds jis' den  'long come de wind en slam it to  behine de
chile  ker-blam! en my lan'  de chile never move'!  my breff mos' hop
outer me  en i feel so so i doan' know how i feel   i crope out  all
a-tremblin'  en crope aroun' en open de do' easy en slow  en poke my head
in behine de chile  sof' en still  en all uv a sudden i says pow! jis' as
loud as i could yell   she never budge!  oh  huck  i bust out a-cryin' en
grab her up in my arms  en say  'oh  de po' little thing!  de lord god
amighty fogive po' ole jim  kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisself as
long's he live!'  oh  she was plumb deef en dumb  huck  plumb deef en
dumb en i'd ben a-treat'n her so! 




next day  towards night  we laid up under a little willow towhead out in
the middle  where there was a village on each side of the river  and the
duke and the king begun to lay out a plan for working them towns   jim he
spoke to the duke  and said he hoped it wouldn't take but a few hours 
because it got mighty heavy and tiresome to him when he had to lay all
day in the wigwam tied with the rope   you see  when we left him all
alone we had to tie him  because if anybody happened on to him all by
himself and not tied it wouldn't look much like he was a runaway nigger 
you know  so the duke said it was kind of hard to have to lay roped all
day  and he'd cipher out some way to get around it 

he was uncommon bright  the duke was  and he soon struck it   he dressed
jim up in king lear's outfit it was a long curtain-calico gown  and a
white horse-hair wig and whiskers  and then he took his theater paint and
painted jim's face and hands and ears and neck all over a dead  dull 
solid blue  like a man that's been drownded nine days   blamed if he
warn't the horriblest looking outrage i ever see   then the duke took and
wrote out a sign on a shingle so 

sick arab but harmless when not out of his head 

and he nailed that shingle to a lath  and stood the lath up four or five
foot in front of the wigwam   jim was satisfied   he said it was a sight
better than lying tied a couple of years every day  and trembling all
over every time there was a sound   the duke told him to make himself
free and easy  and if anybody ever come meddling around  he must hop out
of the wigwam  and carry on a little  and fetch a howl or two like a wild
beast  and he reckoned they would light out and leave him alone   which
was sound enough judgment  but you take the average man  and he wouldn't
wait for him to howl   why  he didn't only look like he was dead  he
looked considerable more than that 

these rapscallions wanted to try the nonesuch again  because there was so
much money in it  but they judged it wouldn't be safe  because maybe the
news might a worked along down by this time   they couldn't hit no
project that suited exactly  so at last the duke said he reckoned he'd
lay off and work his brains an hour or two and see if he couldn't put up
something on the arkansaw village  and the king he allowed he would drop
over to t'other village without any plan  but just trust in providence to
lead him the profitable way meaning the devil  i reckon   we had all
bought store clothes where we stopped last  and now the king put his'n
on  and he told me to put mine on   i done it  of course   the king's
duds was all black  and he did look real swell and starchy   i never
knowed how clothes could change a body before   why  before  he looked
like the orneriest old rip that ever was  but now  when he'd take off his
new white beaver and make a bow and do a smile  he looked that grand and
good and pious that you'd say he had walked right out of the ark  and
maybe was old leviticus himself   jim cleaned up the canoe  and i got my
paddle ready   there was a big steamboat laying at the shore away up
under the point  about three mile above the town been there a couple
of hours  taking on freight   says the king 

 seein' how i'm dressed  i reckon maybe i better arrive down from st 
louis or cincinnati  or some other big place   go for the steamboat 
huckleberry  we'll come down to the village on her  

i didn't have to be ordered twice to go and take a steamboat ride   i
fetched the shore a half a mile above the village  and then went scooting
along the bluff bank in the easy water   pretty soon we come to a nice
innocent-looking young country jake setting on a log swabbing the sweat
off of his face  for it was powerful warm weather  and he had a couple of
big carpet-bags by him 

 run her nose in shore   says the king   i done it    wher' you bound
for  young man  

 for the steamboat  going to orleans  

 git aboard   says the king    hold on a minute  my servant 'll he'p you
with them bags   jump out and he'p the gentleman  adolphus  meaning me 
i see 

i done so  and then we all three started on again   the young chap was
mighty thankful  said it was tough work toting his baggage such weather 
he asked the king where he was going  and the king told him he'd come
down the river and landed at the other village this morning  and now he
was going up a few mile to see an old friend on a farm up there   the
young fellow says 

 when i first see you i says to myself  'it's mr  wilks  sure  and he
come mighty near getting here in time '  but then i says again  'no  i
reckon it ain't him  or else he wouldn't be paddling up the river '  you
ain't him  are you  

 no  my name's blodgett elexander blodgett reverend elexander blodgett 
i s'pose i must say  as i'm one o' the lord's poor servants   but still
i'm jist as able to be sorry for mr  wilks for not arriving in time  all
the same  if he's missed anything by it which i hope he hasn't  

 well  he don't miss any property by it  because he'll get that all
right  but he's missed seeing his brother peter die which he mayn't
mind  nobody can tell as to that but his brother would a give anything
in this world to see him before he died  never talked about nothing else
all these three weeks  hadn't seen him since they was boys together and
hadn't ever seen his brother william at all that's the deef and dumb
one william ain't more than thirty or thirty-five   peter and george
were the only ones that come out here  george was the married brother 
him and his wife both died last year   harvey and william's the only ones
that's left now  and  as i was saying  they haven't got here in time  

 did anybody send 'em word  

 oh  yes  a month or two ago  when peter was first took  because peter
said then that he sorter felt like he warn't going to get well this time 
you see  he was pretty old  and george's g'yirls was too young to be much
company for him  except mary jane  the red-headed one  and so he was
kinder lonesome after george and his wife died  and didn't seem to care
much to live   he most desperately wanted to see harvey and william 
too  for that matter because he was one of them kind that can't bear to
make a will   he left a letter behind for harvey  and said he'd told in
it where his money was hid  and how he wanted the rest of the property
divided up so george's g'yirls would be all right for george didn't
leave nothing   and that letter was all they could get him to put a pen
to  

 why do you reckon harvey don't come   wher' does he live  

 oh  he lives in england sheffield preaches there hasn't ever been in
this country   he hasn't had any too much time and besides he mightn't a
got the letter at all  you know  

 too bad  too bad he couldn't a lived to see his brothers  poor soul 
you going to orleans  you say  

 yes  but that ain't only a part of it   i'm going in a ship  next
wednesday  for ryo janeero  where my uncle lives  

 it's a pretty long journey   but it'll be lovely  wisht i was a-going 
is mary jane the oldest   how old is the others  

 mary jane's nineteen  susan's fifteen  and joanna's about fourteen
 that's the one that gives herself to good works and has a hare-lip  


 poor things! to be left alone in the cold world so  

 well  they could be worse off   old peter had friends  and they ain't
going to let them come to no harm   there's hobson  the babtis' preacher 
and deacon lot hovey  and ben rucker  and abner shackleford  and levi
bell  the lawyer  and dr  robinson  and their wives  and the widow
bartley  and well  there's a lot of them  but these are the ones that
peter was thickest with  and used to write about sometimes  when he wrote
home  so harvey 'll know where to look for friends when he gets here  

well  the old man went on asking questions till he just fairly emptied
that young fellow   blamed if he didn't inquire about everybody and
everything in that blessed town  and all about the wilkses  and about
peter's business which was a tanner  and about george's which was a
carpenter  and about harvey's which was a dissentering minister  and so
on  and so on   then he says 

 what did you want to walk all the way up to the steamboat for  

 because she's a big orleans boat  and i was afeard she mightn't stop
there   when they're deep they won't stop for a hail   a cincinnati boat
will  but this is a st  louis one  

 was peter wilks well off  

 oh  yes  pretty well off   he had houses and land  and it's reckoned he
left three or four thousand in cash hid up som'ers  

 when did you say he died  

 i didn't say  but it was last night  

 funeral to-morrow  likely  

 yes  'bout the middle of the day  

 well  it's all terrible sad  but we've all got to go  one time or
another  so what we want to do is to be prepared  then we're all right  

 yes  sir  it's the best way   ma used to always say that  

when we struck the boat she was about done loading  and pretty soon she
got off   the king never said nothing about going aboard  so i lost my
ride  after all   when the boat was gone the king made me paddle up
another mile to a lonesome place  and then he got ashore and says 

 now hustle back  right off  and fetch the duke up here  and the new
carpet-bags   and if he's gone over to t'other side  go over there and
git him   and tell him to git himself up regardless   shove along  now  

i see what he was up to  but i never said nothing  of course   when i got
back with the duke we hid the canoe  and then they set down on a log  and
the king told him everything  just like the young fellow had said it
 every last word of it   and all the time he was a-doing it he tried to
talk like an englishman  and he done it pretty well  too  for a slouch 
i can't imitate him  and so i ain't a-going to try to  but he really done
it pretty good   then he says 

 how are you on the deef and dumb  bilgewater  

the duke said  leave him alone for that  said he had played a deef and
dumb person on the histronic boards   so then they waited for a
steamboat 

about the middle of the afternoon a couple of little boats come along 
but they didn't come from high enough up the river  but at last there was
a big one  and they hailed her   she sent out her yawl  and we went
aboard  and she was from cincinnati  and when they found we only wanted
to go four or five mile they was booming mad  and gave us a cussing  and
said they wouldn't land us   but the king was ca'm   he says 

 if gentlemen kin afford to pay a dollar a mile apiece to be took on and
put off in a yawl  a steamboat kin afford to carry 'em  can't it  

so they softened down and said it was all right  and when we got to the
village they yawled us ashore   about two dozen men flocked down when
they see the yawl a-coming  and when the king says 

 kin any of you gentlemen tell me wher' mr  peter wilks lives   they give
a glance at one another  and nodded their heads  as much as to say   what
d' i tell you    then one of them says  kind of soft and gentle 

 i'm sorry sir  but the best we can do is to tell you where he did live
yesterday evening  

sudden as winking the ornery old cretur went an to smash  and fell up
against the man  and put his chin on his shoulder  and cried down his
back  and says 

 alas  alas  our poor brother gone  and we never got to see him  oh 
it's too  too hard! 

then he turns around  blubbering  and makes a lot of idiotic signs to the
duke on his hands  and blamed if he didn't drop a carpet-bag and bust out
a-crying   if they warn't the beatenest lot  them two frauds  that ever i
struck 

well  the men gathered around and sympathized with them  and said all
sorts of kind things to them  and carried their carpet-bags up the hill
for them  and let them lean on them and cry  and told the king all about
his brother's last moments  and the king he told it all over again on his
hands to the duke  and both of them took on about that dead tanner like
they'd lost the twelve disciples   well  if ever i struck anything like
it  i'm a nigger  it was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race 




the news was all over town in two minutes  and you could see the people
tearing down on the run from every which way  some of them putting on
their coats as they come   pretty soon we was in the middle of a crowd 
and the noise of the tramping was like a soldier march   the windows and
dooryards was full  and every minute somebody would say  over a fence 

 is it them  

and somebody trotting along with the gang would answer back and say 

 you bet it is  

when we got to the house the street in front of it was packed  and the
three girls was standing in the door   mary jane was red-headed  but that
don't make no difference  she was most awful beautiful  and her face and
her eyes was all lit up like glory  she was so glad her uncles was come 
the king he spread his arms  and mary jane she jumped for them  and the
hare-lip jumped for the duke  and there they had it!  everybody most 
leastways women  cried for joy to see them meet again at last and have
such good times 

then the king he hunched the duke private i see him do it and then he
looked around and see the coffin  over in the corner on two chairs  so
then him and the duke  with a hand across each other's shoulder  and
t'other hand to their eyes  walked slow and solemn over there  everybody
dropping back to give them room  and all the talk and noise stopping 
people saying  sh!  and all the men taking their hats off and drooping
their heads  so you could a heard a pin fall   and when they got there
they bent over and looked in the coffin  and took one sight  and then
they bust out a-crying so you could a heard them to orleans  most  and
then they put their arms around each other's necks  and hung their chins
over each other's shoulders  and then for three minutes  or maybe four  i
never see two men leak the way they done   and  mind you  everybody was
doing the same  and the place was that damp i never see anything like it 
then one of them got on one side of the coffin  and t'other on t'other
side  and they kneeled down and rested their foreheads on the coffin  and
let on to pray all to themselves   well  when it come to that it worked
the crowd like you never see anything like it  and everybody broke down
and went to sobbing right out loud the poor girls  too  and every woman 
nearly  went up to the girls  without saying a word  and kissed them 
solemn  on the forehead  and then put their hand on their head  and
looked up towards the sky  with the tears running down  and then busted
out and went off sobbing and swabbing  and give the next woman a show   i
never see anything so disgusting 

well  by and by the king he gets up and comes forward a little  and works
himself up and slobbers out a speech  all full of tears and flapdoodle
about its being a sore trial for him and his poor brother to lose the
diseased  and to miss seeing diseased alive after the long journey of
four thousand mile  but it's a trial that's sweetened and sanctified to
us by this dear sympathy and these holy tears  and so he thanks them out
of his heart and out of his brother's heart  because out of their mouths
they can't  words being too weak and cold  and all that kind of rot and
slush  till it was just sickening  and then he blubbers out a pious
goody-goody amen  and turns himself loose and goes to crying fit to bust 

and the minute the words were out of his mouth somebody over in the crowd
struck up the doxolojer  and everybody joined in with all their might 
and it just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting
out  music is a good thing  and after all that soul-butter and hogwash i
never see it freshen up things so  and sound so honest and bully 

then the king begins to work his jaw again  and says how him and his
nieces would be glad if a few of the main principal friends of the family
would take supper here with them this evening  and help set up with the
ashes of the diseased  and says if his poor brother laying yonder could
speak he knows who he would name  for they was names that was very dear
to him  and mentioned often in his letters  and so he will name the same 
to wit  as follows  vizz   rev  mr  hobson  and deacon lot hovey  and
mr  ben rucker  and abner shackleford  and levi bell  and dr  robinson 
and their wives  and the widow bartley 

rev  hobson and dr  robinson was down to the end of the town a-hunting
together that is  i mean the doctor was shipping a sick man to t'other
world  and the preacher was pinting him right   lawyer bell was away up
to louisville on business   but the rest was on hand  and so they all
come and shook hands with the king and thanked him and talked to him  and
then they shook hands with the duke and didn't say nothing  but just kept
a-smiling and bobbing their heads like a passel of sapheads whilst he
made all sorts of signs with his hands and said  goo-goo goo-goo-goo 
all the time  like a baby that can't talk 

so the king he blattered along  and managed to inquire about pretty much
everybody and dog in town  by his name  and mentioned all sorts of little
things that happened one time or another in the town  or to george's
family  or to peter   and he always let on that peter wrote him the
things  but that was a lie   he got every blessed one of them out of that
young flathead that we canoed up to the steamboat 

then mary jane she fetched the letter her father left behind  and the
king he read it out loud and cried over it   it give the dwelling-house
and three thousand dollars  gold  to the girls  and it give the tanyard
(which was doing a good business)  along with some other houses and land
(worth about seven thousand)  and three thousand dollars in gold to
harvey and william  and told where the six thousand cash was hid down
cellar   so these two frauds said they'd go and fetch it up  and have
everything square and above-board  and told me to come with a candle   we
shut the cellar door behind us  and when they found the bag they spilt it
out on the floor  and it was a lovely sight  all them yaller-boys   my 
the way the king's eyes did shine!  he slaps the duke on the shoulder and
says 

 oh  this ain't bully nor noth'n!  oh  no  i reckon not!  why  billy  it
beats the nonesuch  don't it  

the duke allowed it did   they pawed the yaller-boys  and sifted them
through their fingers and let them jingle down on the floor  and the king
says 

 it ain't no use talkin'  bein' brothers to a rich dead man and
representatives of furrin heirs that's got left is the line for you and
me  bilge   thish yer comes of trust'n to providence   it's the best way 
in the long run   i've tried 'em all  and ther' ain't no better way  

most everybody would a been satisfied with the pile  and took it on
trust  but no  they must count it   so they counts it  and it comes out
four hundred and fifteen dollars short   says the king 

 dern him  i wonder what he done with that four hundred and fifteen
dollars  

they worried over that awhile  and ransacked all around for it   then the
duke says 

 well  he was a pretty sick man  and likely he made a mistake i reckon
that's the way of it   the best way's to let it go  and keep still about
it   we can spare it  

 oh  shucks  yes  we can spare it   i don't k'yer noth'n 'bout that it's
the count i'm thinkin' about   we want to be awful square and open and
above-board here  you know   we want to lug this h-yer money up stairs
and count it before everybody then ther' ain't noth'n suspicious   but
when the dead man says ther's six thous'n dollars  you know  we don't
want to  

 hold on   says the duke    le's make up the deffisit   and he begun to
haul out yaller-boys out of his pocket 

 it's a most amaz'n' good idea  duke you have got a rattlin' clever head
on you   says the king    blest if the old nonesuch ain't a heppin' us
out agin   and he begun to haul out yaller-jackets and stack them up 

it most busted them  but they made up the six thousand clean and clear 

 say   says the duke   i got another idea   le's go up stairs and count
this money  and then take and give it to the girls  

 good land  duke  lemme hug you!  it's the most dazzling idea 'at ever a
man struck   you have cert'nly got the most astonishin' head i ever see 
oh  this is the boss dodge  ther' ain't no mistake 'bout it   let 'em
fetch along their suspicions now if they want to this 'll lay 'em out  

when we got up-stairs everybody gethered around the table  and the king
he counted it and stacked it up  three hundred dollars in a pile twenty
elegant little piles   everybody looked hungry at it  and licked their
chops   then they raked it into the bag again  and i see the king begin
to swell himself up for another speech   he says 

 friends all  my poor brother that lays yonder has done generous by them
that's left behind in the vale of sorrers   he has done generous by these
yer poor little lambs that he loved and sheltered  and that's left
fatherless and motherless   yes  and we that knowed him knows that he
would a done more generous by 'em if he hadn't ben afeard o' woundin' his
dear william and me   now  wouldn't he   ther' ain't no question 'bout it
in my mind   well  then  what kind o' brothers would it be that 'd stand
in his way at sech a time   and what kind o' uncles would it be that 'd
rob yes  rob sech poor sweet lambs as these 'at he loved so at sech a
time   if i know william and i think i do he well  i'll jest ask him  
he turns around and begins to make a lot of signs to the duke with his
hands  and the duke he looks at him stupid and leather-headed a while 
then all of a sudden he seems to catch his meaning  and jumps for the
king  goo-gooing with all his might for joy  and hugs him about fifteen
times before he lets up   then the king says   i knowed it  i reckon that
'll convince anybody the way he feels about it   here  mary jane  susan 
joanner  take the money take it all   it's the gift of him that lays
yonder  cold but joyful  

mary jane she went for him  susan and the hare-lip went for the duke  and
then such another hugging and kissing i never see yet   and everybody
crowded up with the tears in their eyes  and most shook the hands off of
them frauds  saying all the time 

 you dear good souls! how lovely! how could you! 

well  then  pretty soon all hands got to talking about the diseased
again  and how good he was  and what a loss he was  and all that  and
before long a big iron-jawed man worked himself in there from outside 
and stood a-listening and looking  and not saying anything  and nobody
saying anything to him either  because the king was talking and they was
all busy listening   the king was saying in the middle of something he'd
started in on 

  they bein' partickler friends o' the diseased   that's why they're
invited here this evenin'  but tomorrow we want all to come everybody 
for he respected everybody  he liked everybody  and so it's fitten that
his funeral orgies sh'd be public  

and so he went a-mooning on and on  liking to hear himself talk  and
every little while he fetched in his funeral orgies again  till the duke
he couldn't stand it no more  so he writes on a little scrap of paper 
 obsequies  you old fool   and folds it up  and goes to goo-gooing and
reaching it over people's heads to him   the king he reads it and puts it
in his pocket  and says 

 poor william  afflicted as he is  his heart's aluz right   asks me to
invite everybody to come to the funeral wants me to make 'em all
welcome   but he needn't a worried it was jest what i was at  

then he weaves along again  perfectly ca'm  and goes to dropping in his
funeral orgies again every now and then  just like he done before   and
when he done it the third time he says 

 i say orgies  not because it's the common term  because it ain't
 obsequies bein' the common term but because orgies is the right term 
obsequies ain't used in england no more now it's gone out   we say
orgies now in england   orgies is better  because it means the thing
you're after more exact   it's a word that's made up out'n the greek
orgo  outside  open  abroad  and the hebrew jeesum  to plant  cover up 
hence inter   so  you see  funeral orgies is an open er public funeral  

he was the worst i ever struck   well  the iron-jawed man he laughed
right in his face   everybody was shocked   everybody says   why 
doctor!  and abner shackleford says 

 why  robinson  hain't you heard the news   this is harvey wilks  

the king he smiled eager  and shoved out his flapper  and says 

 is it my poor brother's dear good friend and physician   i  

 keep your hands off of me!  says the doctor    you talk like an
englishman  don't you   it's the worst imitation i ever heard   you peter
wilks's brother!  you're a fraud  that's what you are! 

well  how they all took on!  they crowded around the doctor and tried to
quiet him down  and tried to explain to him and tell him how harvey 'd
showed in forty ways that he was harvey  and knowed everybody by name 
and the names of the very dogs  and begged and begged him not to hurt
harvey's feelings and the poor girl's feelings  and all that   but it
warn't no use  he stormed right along  and said any man that pretended to
be an englishman and couldn't imitate the lingo no better than what he
did was a fraud and a liar   the poor girls was hanging to the king and
crying  and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on them   he says 

 i was your father's friend  and i'm your friend  and i warn you as a
friend  and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of
harm and trouble  to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing
to do with him  the ignorant tramp  with his idiotic greek and hebrew  as
he calls it   he is the thinnest kind of an impostor has come here with
a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres  and you
take them for proofs  and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish
friends here  who ought to know better   mary jane wilks  you know me for
your friend  and for your unselfish friend  too   now listen to me  turn
this pitiful rascal out i beg you to do it   will you  

mary jane straightened herself up  and my  but she was handsome!  she
says 

 here is my answer    she hove up the bag of money and put it in the
king's hands  and says   take this six thousand dollars  and invest for
me and my sisters any way you want to  and don't give us no receipt for
it  

then she put her arm around the king on one side  and susan and the
hare-lip done the same on the other   everybody clapped their hands and
stomped on the floor like a perfect storm  whilst the king held up his
head and smiled proud   the doctor says 

 all right  i wash my hands of the matter   but i warn you all that a
time 's coming when you're going to feel sick whenever you think of this
day   and away he went 

 all right  doctor   says the king  kinder mocking him   we'll try and
get 'em to send for you   which made them all laugh  and they said it was
a prime good hit 




well  when they was all gone the king he asks mary jane how they was off
for spare rooms  and she said she had one spare room  which would do for
uncle william  and she'd give her own room to uncle harvey  which was a
little bigger  and she would turn into the room with her sisters and
sleep on a cot  and up garret was a little cubby  with a pallet in it 
the king said the cubby would do for his valley meaning me 

so mary jane took us up  and she showed them their rooms  which was plain
but nice   she said she'd have her frocks and a lot of other traps took
out of her room if they was in uncle harvey's way  but he said they
warn't   the frocks was hung along the wall  and before them was a
curtain made out of calico that hung down to the floor   there was an old
hair trunk in one corner  and a guitar-box in another  and all sorts of
little knickknacks and jimcracks around  like girls brisken up a room
with   the king said it was all the more homely and more pleasanter for
these fixings  and so don't disturb them   the duke's room was pretty
small  but plenty good enough  and so was my cubby 

that night they had a big supper  and all them men and women was there 
and i stood behind the king and the duke's chairs and waited on them  and
the niggers waited on the rest   mary jane she set at the head of the
table  with susan alongside of her  and said how bad the biscuits was 
and how mean the preserves was  and how ornery and tough the fried
chickens was and all that kind of rot  the way women always do for to
force out compliments  and the people all knowed everything was tiptop 
and said so said  how do you get biscuits to brown so nice   and  where 
for the land's sake  did you get these amaz'n pickles   and all that kind
of humbug talky-talk  just the way people always does at a supper  you
know 

and when it was all done me and the hare-lip had supper in the kitchen
off of the leavings  whilst the others was helping the niggers clean up
the things   the hare-lip she got to pumping me about england  and blest
if i didn't think the ice was getting mighty thin sometimes   she says 

 did you ever see the king  

 who   william fourth   well  i bet i have he goes to our church    i
knowed he was dead years ago  but i never let on   so when i says he goes
to our church  she says 

 what regular  

 yes regular   his pew's right over opposite ourn on t'other side the
pulpit  

 i thought he lived in london  

 well  he does   where would he live  

 but i thought you lived in sheffield  

i see i was up a stump   i had to let on to get choked with a chicken
bone  so as to get time to think how to get down again   then i says 

 i mean he goes to our church regular when he's in sheffield   that's
only in the summer time  when he comes there to take the sea baths  

 why  how you talk sheffield ain't on the sea  

 well  who said it was  

 why  you did  

 i didn't nuther  

 you did! 

 i didn't  

 you did  

 i never said nothing of the kind  

 well  what did you say  then  

 said he come to take the sea baths that's what i said  

 well  then  how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the
sea  

 looky here   i says   did you ever see any congress-water  

 yes  

 well  did you have to go to congress to get it  

 why  no  

 well  neither does william fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea
bath  

 how does he get it  then  

 gets it the way people down here gets congress-water in barrels   there
in the palace at sheffield they've got furnaces  and he wants his water
hot   they can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea 
they haven't got no conveniences for it  

 oh  i see  now   you might a said that in the first place and saved
time  

when she said that i see i was out of the woods again  and so i was
comfortable and glad   next  she says 

 do you go to church  too  

 yes regular  

 where do you set  

 why  in our pew  

 whose pew  

 why  ourn your uncle harvey's  

 his'n   what does he want with a pew  

 wants it to set in   what did you reckon he wanted with it  

 why  i thought he'd be in the pulpit  

rot him  i forgot he was a preacher   i see i was up a stump again  so i
played another chicken bone and got another think   then i says 

 blame it  do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church  

 why  what do they want with more  

 what! to preach before a king   i never did see such a girl as you 
they don't have no less than seventeen  

 seventeen!  my land!  why  i wouldn't set out such a string as that  not
if i never got to glory   it must take 'em a week  

 shucks  they don't all of 'em preach the same day only one of 'em  

 well  then  what does the rest of 'em do  

 oh  nothing much   loll around  pass the plate and one thing or
another   but mainly they don't do nothing  

 well  then  what are they for  

 why  they're for style   don't you know nothing  

 well  i don't want to know no such foolishness as that   how is servants
treated in england   do they treat 'em better 'n we treat our niggers  

 no!  a servant ain't nobody there   they treat them worse than dogs  

 don't they give 'em holidays  the way we do  christmas and new year's
week  and fourth of july  

 oh  just listen!  a body could tell you hain't ever been to england by
that   why  hare-l why  joanna  they never see a holiday from year's end
to year's end  never go to the circus  nor theater  nor nigger shows  nor
nowheres  

 nor church  

 nor church  

 but you always went to church  

well  i was gone up again   i forgot i was the old man's servant   but
next minute i whirled in on a kind of an explanation how a valley was
different from a common servant and had to go to church whether he wanted
to or not  and set with the family  on account of its being the law   but
i didn't do it pretty good  and when i got done i see she warn't
satisfied   she says 

 honest injun  now  hain't you been telling me a lot of lies  

 honest injun   says i 

 none of it at all  

 none of it at all   not a lie in it   says i 

 lay your hand on this book and say it  

i see it warn't nothing but a dictionary  so i laid my hand on it and
said it   so then she looked a little better satisfied  and says 

 well  then  i'll believe some of it  but i hope to gracious if i'll
believe the rest  

 what is it you won't believe  joe   says mary jane  stepping in with
susan behind her    it ain't right nor kind for you to talk so to him 
and him a stranger and so far from his people   how would you like to be
treated so  

 that's always your way  maim always sailing in to help somebody before
they're hurt   i hain't done nothing to him   he's told some stretchers 
i reckon  and i said i wouldn't swallow it all  and that's every bit and
grain i did say   i reckon he can stand a little thing like that  can't
he  

 i don't care whether 'twas little or whether 'twas big  he's here in our
house and a stranger  and it wasn't good of you to say it   if you was in
his place it would make you feel ashamed  and so you oughtn't to say a
thing to another person that will make them feel ashamed  

 why  maim  he said  

 it don't make no difference what he said that ain't the thing   the
thing is for you to treat him kind  and not be saying things to make him
remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks  

i says to myself  this is a girl that i'm letting that old reptle rob her
of her money!

then susan she waltzed in  and if you'll believe me  she did give
hare-lip hark from the tomb!

says i to myself  and this is another one that i'm letting him rob her of
her money!

then mary jane she took another inning  and went in sweet and lovely
again which was her way  but when she got done there warn't hardly
anything left o' poor hare-lip   so she hollered 

 all right  then   says the other girls   you just ask his pardon  

she done it  too  and she done it beautiful   she done it so beautiful it
was good to hear  and i wished i could tell her a thousand lies  so she
could do it again 

i says to myself  this is another one that i'm letting him rob her of her
money   and when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to
make me feel at home and know i was amongst friends   i felt so ornery
and low down and mean that i says to myself  my mind's made up  i'll hive
that money for them or bust 

so then i lit out for bed  i said  meaning some time or another   when i
got by myself i went to thinking the thing over   i says to myself  shall
i go to that doctor  private  and blow on these frauds   no that won't
do  he might tell who told him  then the king and the duke would make it
warm for me   shall i go  private  and tell mary jane   no i dasn't do
it  her face would give them a hint  sure  they've got the money  and
they'd slide right out and get away with it   if she was to fetch in help
i'd get mixed up in the business before it was done with  i judge   no 
there ain't no good way but one   i got to steal that money  somehow  and
i got to steal it some way that they won't suspicion that i done it 
they've got a good thing here  and they ain't a-going to leave till
they've played this family and this town for all they're worth  so i'll
find a chance time enough  i'll steal it and hide it  and by and by  when
i'm away down the river  i'll write a letter and tell mary jane where
it's hid   but i better hive it tonight if i can  because the doctor
maybe hasn't let up as much as he lets on he has  he might scare them out
of here yet 

so  thinks i  i'll go and search them rooms   upstairs the hall was dark 
but i found the duke's room  and started to paw around it with my hands 
but i recollected it wouldn't be much like the king to let anybody else
take care of that money but his own self  so then i went to his room and
begun to paw around there   but i see i couldn't do nothing without a
candle  and i dasn't light one  of course   so i judged i'd got to do the
other thing lay for them and eavesdrop   about that time i hears their
footsteps coming  and was going to skip under the bed  i reached for it 
but it wasn't where i thought it would be  but i touched the curtain that
hid mary jane's frocks  so i jumped in behind that and snuggled in
amongst the gowns  and stood there perfectly still 

they come in and shut the door  and the first thing the duke done was to
get down and look under the bed   then i was glad i hadn't found the bed
when i wanted it   and yet  you know  it's kind of natural to hide under
the bed when you are up to anything private   they sets down then  and
the king says 

 well  what is it   and cut it middlin' short  because it's better for us
to be down there a-whoopin' up the mournin' than up here givin' 'em a
chance to talk us over  

 well  this is it  capet   i ain't easy  i ain't comfortable   that
doctor lays on my mind   i wanted to know your plans   i've got a notion 
and i think it's a sound one  

 what is it  duke  

 that we better glide out of this before three in the morning  and clip
it down the river with what we've got   specially  seeing we got it so
easy given back to us  flung at our heads  as you may say  when of
course we allowed to have to steal it back   i'm for knocking off and
lighting out  

that made me feel pretty bad   about an hour or two ago it would a been a
little different  but now it made me feel bad and disappointed  the king
rips out and says 

 what!  and not sell out the rest o' the property   march off like a
passel of fools and leave eight or nine thous'n' dollars' worth o'
property layin' around jest sufferin' to be scooped in  and all good 
salable stuff  too  

the duke he grumbled  said the bag of gold was enough  and he didn't want
to go no deeper didn't want to rob a lot of orphans of everything they
had 

 why  how you talk!  says the king    we sha'n't rob 'em of nothing at
all but jest this money   the people that buys the property is the
suff'rers  because as soon 's it's found out 'at we didn't own it which
won't be long after we've slid the sale won't be valid  and it 'll all
go back to the estate   these yer orphans 'll git their house back agin 
and that's enough for them  they're young and spry  and k'n easy earn a
livin'   they ain't a-goin to suffer   why  jest think there's thous'n's
and thous'n's that ain't nigh so well off   bless you  they ain't got
noth'n' to complain of  

well  the king he talked him blind  so at last he give in  and said all
right  but said he believed it was blamed foolishness to stay  and that
doctor hanging over them   but the king says 

 cuss the doctor!  what do we k'yer for him   hain't we got all the fools
in town on our side   and ain't that a big enough majority in any town  

so they got ready to go down stairs again   the duke says 

 i don't think we put that money in a good place  

that cheered me up   i'd begun to think i warn't going to get a hint of
no kind to help me   the king says 

 why  

 because mary jane 'll be in mourning from this out  and first you know
the nigger that does up the rooms will get an order to box these duds up
and put 'em away  and do you reckon a nigger can run across money and not
borrow some of it  

 your head's level agin  duke   says the king  and he comes a-fumbling
under the curtain two or three foot from where i was   i stuck tight to
the wall and kept mighty still  though quivery  and i wondered what them
fellows would say to me if they catched me  and i tried to think what i'd
better do if they did catch me   but the king he got the bag before i
could think more than about a half a thought  and he never suspicioned i
was around   they took and shoved the bag through a rip in the straw tick
that was under the feather-bed  and crammed it in a foot or two amongst
the straw and said it was all right now  because a nigger only makes up
the feather-bed  and don't turn over the straw tick only about twice a
year  and so it warn't in no danger of getting stole now 

but i knowed better   i had it out of there before they was half-way down
stairs   i groped along up to my cubby  and hid it there till i could get
a chance to do better   i judged i better hide it outside of the house
somewheres  because if they missed it they would give the house a good
ransacking   i knowed that very well   then i turned in  with my clothes
all on  but i couldn't a gone to sleep if i'd a wanted to  i was in such
a sweat to get through with the business   by and by i heard the king and
the duke come up  so i rolled off my pallet and laid with my chin at the
top of my ladder  and waited to see if anything was going to happen   but
nothing did 

so i held on till all the late sounds had quit and the early ones hadn't
begun yet  and then i slipped down the ladder 




i crept to their doors and listened  they was snoring   so i tiptoed
along  and got down stairs all right   there warn't a sound anywheres   i
peeped through a crack of the dining-room door  and see the men that was
watching the corpse all sound asleep on their chairs   the door was open
into the parlor  where the corpse was laying  and there was a candle in
both rooms  i passed along  and the parlor door was open  but i see there
warn't nobody in there but the remainders of peter  so i shoved on by 
but the front door was locked  and the key wasn't there   just then i
heard somebody coming down the stairs  back behind me   i run in the
parlor and took a swift look around  and the only place i see to hide the
bag was in the coffin   the lid was shoved along about a foot  showing
the dead man's face down in there  with a wet cloth over it  and his
shroud on   i tucked the money-bag in under the lid  just down beyond
where his hands was crossed  which made me creep  they was so cold  and
then i run back across the room and in behind the door 

the person coming was mary jane   she went to the coffin  very soft  and
kneeled down and looked in  then she put up her handkerchief  and i see
she begun to cry  though i couldn't hear her  and her back was to me   i
slid out  and as i passed the dining-room i thought i'd make sure them
watchers hadn't seen me  so i looked through the crack  and everything
was all right   they hadn't stirred 

i slipped up to bed  feeling ruther blue  on accounts of the thing
playing out that way after i had took so much trouble and run so much
resk about it   says i  if it could stay where it is  all right  because
when we get down the river a hundred mile or two i could write back to
mary jane  and she could dig him up again and get it  but that ain't the
thing that's going to happen  the thing that's going to happen is  the
money 'll be found when they come to screw on the lid   then the king 'll
get it again  and it 'll be a long day before he gives anybody another
chance to smouch it from him  of course i wanted to slide down and get it
out of there  but i dasn't try it   every minute it was getting earlier
now  and pretty soon some of them watchers would begin to stir  and i
might get catched catched with six thousand dollars in my hands that
nobody hadn't hired me to take care of   i don't wish to be mixed up in
no such business as that  i says to myself 

when i got down stairs in the morning the parlor was shut up  and the
watchers was gone   there warn't nobody around but the family and the
widow bartley and our tribe   i watched their faces to see if anything
had been happening  but i couldn't tell 

towards the middle of the day the undertaker come with his man  and they
set the coffin in the middle of the room on a couple of chairs  and then
set all our chairs in rows  and borrowed more from the neighbors till the
hall and the parlor and the dining-room was full   i see the coffin lid
was the way it was before  but i dasn't go to look in under it  with
folks around 

then the people begun to flock in  and the beats and the girls took seats
in the front row at the head of the coffin  and for a half an hour the
people filed around slow  in single rank  and looked down at the dead
man's face a minute  and some dropped in a tear  and it was all very
still and solemn  only the girls and the beats holding handkerchiefs to
their eyes and keeping their heads bent  and sobbing a little   there
warn't no other sound but the scraping of the feet on the floor and
blowing noses because people always blows them more at a funeral than
they do at other places except church 

when the place was packed full the undertaker he slid around in his black
gloves with his softy soothering ways  putting on the last touches  and
getting people and things all ship-shape and comfortable  and making no
more sound than a cat   he never spoke  he moved people around  he
squeezed in late ones  he opened up passageways  and done it with nods 
and signs with his hands   then he took his place over against the wall 
he was the softest  glidingest  stealthiest man i ever see  and there
warn't no more smile to him than there is to a ham 

they had borrowed a melodeum a sick one  and when everything was ready a
young woman set down and worked it  and it was pretty skreeky and
colicky  and everybody joined in and sung  and peter was the only one
that had a good thing  according to my notion   then the reverend hobson
opened up  slow and solemn  and begun to talk  and straight off the most
outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard  it was only
one dog  but he made a most powerful racket  and he kept it up right
along  the parson he had to stand there  over the coffin  and wait you
couldn't hear yourself think   it was right down awkward  and nobody
didn't seem to know what to do   but pretty soon they see that
long-legged undertaker make a sign to the preacher as much as to say 
 don't you worry just depend on me    then he stooped down and begun to
glide along the wall  just his shoulders showing over the people's heads 
so he glided along  and the powwow and racket getting more and more
outrageous all the time  and at last  when he had gone around two sides
of the room  he disappears down cellar   then in about two seconds we
heard a whack  and the dog he finished up with a most amazing howl or
two  and then everything was dead still  and the parson begun his solemn
talk where he left off   in a minute or two here comes this undertaker's
back and shoulders gliding along the wall again  and so he glided and
glided around three sides of the room  and then rose up  and shaded his
mouth with his hands  and stretched his neck out towards the preacher 
over the people's heads  and says  in a kind of a coarse whisper   he had
a rat!   then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his
place   you could see it was a great satisfaction to the people  because
naturally they wanted to know   a little thing like that don't cost
nothing  and it's just the little things that makes a man to be looked up
to and liked   there warn't no more popular man in town than what that
undertaker was 

well  the funeral sermon was very good  but pison long and tiresome  and
then the king he shoved in and got off some of his usual rubbage  and at
last the job was through  and the undertaker begun to sneak up on the
coffin with his screw-driver   i was in a sweat then  and watched him
pretty keen  but he never meddled at all  just slid the lid along as soft
as mush  and screwed it down tight and fast   so there i was!  i didn't
know whether the money was in there or not   so  says i  s'pose somebody
has hogged that bag on the sly  now how do i know whether to write to
mary jane or not  s'pose she dug him up and didn't find nothing  what
would she think of me  blame it  i says  i might get hunted up and
jailed  i'd better lay low and keep dark  and not write at all  the
thing's awful mixed now  trying to better it  i've worsened it a hundred
times  and i wish to goodness i'd just let it alone  dad fetch the whole
business!

they buried him  and we come back home  and i went to watching faces
again i couldn't help it  and i couldn't rest easy   but nothing come
of it  the faces didn't tell me nothing 

the king he visited around in the evening  and sweetened everybody up 
and made himself ever so friendly  and he give out the idea that his
congregation over in england would be in a sweat about him  so he must
hurry and settle up the estate right away and leave for home   he was
very sorry he was so pushed  and so was everybody  they wished he could
stay longer  but they said they could see it couldn't be done   and he
said of course him and william would take the girls home with them  and
that pleased everybody too  because then the girls would be well fixed
and amongst their own relations  and it pleased the girls  too tickled
them so they clean forgot they ever had a trouble in the world  and told
him to sell out as quick as he wanted to  they would be ready   them poor
things was that glad and happy it made my heart ache to see them getting
fooled and lied to so  but i didn't see no safe way for me to chip in and
change the general tune 

well  blamed if the king didn't bill the house and the niggers and all
the property for auction straight off sale two days after the funeral 
but anybody could buy private beforehand if they wanted to 

so the next day after the funeral  along about noon-time  the girls' joy
got the first jolt   a couple of nigger traders come along  and the king
sold them the niggers reasonable  for three-day drafts as they called it 
and away they went  the two sons up the river to memphis  and their
mother down the river to orleans   i thought them poor girls and them
niggers would break their hearts for grief  they cried around each other 
and took on so it most made me down sick to see it   the girls said they
hadn't ever dreamed of seeing the family separated or sold away from the
town   i can't ever get it out of my memory  the sight of them poor
miserable girls and niggers hanging around each other's necks and crying 
and i reckon i couldn't a stood it all  but would a had to bust out and
tell on our gang if i hadn't knowed the sale warn't no account and the
niggers would be back home in a week or two 

the thing made a big stir in the town  too  and a good many come out
flatfooted and said it was scandalous to separate the mother and the
children that way   it injured the frauds some  but the old fool he
bulled right along  spite of all the duke could say or do  and i tell you
the duke was powerful uneasy 

next day was auction day   about broad day in the morning the king and
the duke come up in the garret and woke me up  and i see by their look
that there was trouble   the king says 

 was you in my room night before last  

 no  your majesty  which was the way i always called him when nobody but
our gang warn't around 

 was you in there yisterday er last night  

 no  your majesty  

 honor bright  now no lies  

 honor bright  your majesty  i'm telling you the truth   i hain't been
a-near your room since miss mary jane took you and the duke and showed it
to you  

the duke says 

 have you seen anybody else go in there  

 no  your grace  not as i remember  i believe  

 stop and think  

i studied awhile and see my chance  then i says 

 well  i see the niggers go in there several times  

both of them gave a little jump  and looked like they hadn't ever
expected it  and then like they had   then the duke says 

 what  all of them  

 no leastways  not all at once that is  i don't think i ever see them
all come out at once but just one time  

 hello!  when was that  

 it was the day we had the funeral   in the morning   it warn't early 
because i overslept   i was just starting down the ladder  and i see
them  

 well  go on  go on!  what did they do   how'd they act  

 they didn't do nothing   and they didn't act anyway much  as fur as i
see  they tiptoed away  so i seen  easy enough  that they'd shoved in
there to do up your majesty's room  or something  s'posing you was up 
and found you warn't up  and so they was hoping to slide out of the way
of trouble without waking you up  if they hadn't already waked you up  

 great guns  this is a go!  says the king  and both of them looked pretty
sick and tolerable silly   they stood there a-thinking and scratching
their heads a minute  and the duke he bust into a kind of a little raspy
chuckle  and says 

 it does beat all how neat the niggers played their hand   they let on to
be sorry they was going out of this region!  and i believed they was
sorry  and so did you  and so did everybody   don't ever tell me any more
that a nigger ain't got any histrionic talent   why  the way they played
that thing it would fool anybody   in my opinion  there's a fortune in
'em   if i had capital and a theater  i wouldn't want a better lay-out
than that and here we've gone and sold 'em for a song   yes  and ain't
privileged to sing the song yet   say  where is that song that draft  

 in the bank for to be collected   where would it be  

 well  that's all right then  thank goodness  

says i  kind of timid-like 

 is something gone wrong  

the king whirls on me and rips out 

 none o' your business!  you keep your head shet  and mind y'r own
affairs if you got any   long as you're in this town don't you forgit
that you hear    then he says to the duke   we got to jest swaller it
and say noth'n'   mum's the word for us  

as they was starting down the ladder the duke he chuckles again  and
says 

 quick sales and small profits!  it's a good business yes  

the king snarls around on him and says 

 i was trying to do for the best in sellin' 'em out so quick   if the
profits has turned out to be none  lackin' considable  and none to carry 
is it my fault any more'n it's yourn  

 well  they'd be in this house yet and we wouldn't if i could a got my
advice listened to  

the king sassed back as much as was safe for him  and then swapped around
and lit into me again   he give me down the banks for not coming and
telling him i see the niggers come out of his room acting that way said
any fool would a knowed something was up   and then waltzed in and cussed
himself awhile  and said it all come of him not laying late and taking
his natural rest that morning  and he'd be blamed if he'd ever do it
again   so they went off a-jawing  and i felt dreadful glad i'd worked it
all off on to the niggers  and yet hadn't done the niggers no harm by it 




by and by it was getting-up time   so i come down the ladder and started
for down-stairs  but as i come to the girls' room the door was open  and
i see mary jane setting by her old hair trunk  which was open and she'd
been packing things in it getting ready to go to england   but she had
stopped now with a folded gown in her lap  and had her face in her hands 
crying   i felt awful bad to see it  of course anybody would   i went in
there and says 

 miss mary jane  you can't a-bear to see people in trouble  and i can't
 most always   tell me about it  

so she done it   and it was the niggers i just expected it   she said
the beautiful trip to england was most about spoiled for her  she didn't
know how she was ever going to be happy there  knowing the mother and the
children warn't ever going to see each other no more and then busted out
bitterer than ever  and flung up her hands  and says 

 oh  dear  dear  to think they ain't ever going to see each other any
more! 

 but they will and inside of two weeks and i know it!  says i 

laws  it was out before i could think!  and before i could budge she
throws her arms around my neck and told me to say it again  say it again 
say it again!

i see i had spoke too sudden and said too much  and was in a close place 
i asked her to let me think a minute  and she set there  very impatient
and excited and handsome  but looking kind of happy and eased-up  like a
person that's had a tooth pulled out   so i went to studying it out   i
says to myself  i reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is
in a tight place is taking considerable many resks  though i ain't had no
experience  and can't say for certain  but it looks so to me  anyway  and
yet here's a case where i'm blest if it don't look to me like the truth
is better and actuly safer than a lie   i must lay it by in my mind  and
think it over some time or other  it's so kind of strange and unregular 
i never see nothing like it   well  i says to myself at last  i'm a-going
to chance it  i'll up and tell the truth this time  though it does seem
most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it off just to see
where you'll go to  then i says 

 miss mary jane  is there any place out of town a little ways where you
could go and stay three or four days  

 yes  mr  lothrop's   why  

 never mind why yet   if i'll tell you how i know the niggers will see
each other again inside of two weeks here in this house and prove how i
know it will you go to mr  lothrop's and stay four days  

 four days!  she says   i'll stay a year! 

 all right   i says   i don't want nothing more out of you than just your
word i druther have it than another man's kiss-the-bible    she smiled
and reddened up very sweet  and i says   if you don't mind it  i'll shut
the door and bolt it  

then i come back and set down again  and says 

 don't you holler   just set still and take it like a man   i got to tell
the truth  and you want to brace up  miss mary  because it's a bad kind 
and going to be hard to take  but there ain't no help for it   these
uncles of yourn ain't no uncles at all  they're a couple of frauds
 regular dead-beats   there  now we're over the worst of it  you can stand
the rest middling easy  

it jolted her up like everything  of course  but i was over the shoal
water now  so i went right along  her eyes a-blazing higher and higher
all the time  and told her every blame thing  from where we first struck
that young fool going up to the steamboat  clear through to where she
flung herself on to the king's breast at the front door and he kissed her
sixteen or seventeen times and then up she jumps  with her face afire
like sunset  and says 

 the brute!  come  don't waste a minute not a second we'll have them
tarred and feathered  and flung in the river! 

says i 

 cert'nly   but do you mean before you go to mr  lothrop's  or  

 oh   she says   what am i thinking about!  she says  and set right down
again    don't mind what i said please don't you won't  now  will you  
laying her silky hand on mine in that kind of a way that i said i would
die first    i never thought  i was so stirred up   she says   now go on 
and i won't do so any more   you tell me what to do  and whatever you say
i'll do it  

 well   i says   it's a rough gang  them two frauds  and i'm fixed so i
got to travel with them a while longer  whether i want to or not i
druther not tell you why  and if you was to blow on them this town would
get me out of their claws  and i'd be all right  but there'd be another
person that you don't know about who'd be in big trouble   well  we got
to save him  hain't we   of course   well  then  we won't blow on them  

saying them words put a good idea in my head   i see how maybe i could
get me and jim rid of the frauds  get them jailed here  and then leave 
but i didn't want to run the raft in the daytime without anybody aboard
to answer questions but me  so i didn't want the plan to begin working
till pretty late to-night   i says 

 miss mary jane  i'll tell you what we'll do  and you won't have to stay
at mr  lothrop's so long  nuther   how fur is it  

 a little short of four miles right out in the country  back here  

 well  that 'll answer   now you go along out there  and lay low till
nine or half-past to-night  and then get them to fetch you home again
 tell them you've thought of something   if you get here before eleven put
a candle in this window  and if i don't turn up wait till eleven  and
then if i don't turn up it means i'm gone  and out of the way  and safe 
then you come out and spread the news around  and get these beats
jailed  

 good   she says   i'll do it  

 and if it just happens so that i don't get away  but get took up along
with them  you must up and say i told you the whole thing beforehand  and
you must stand by me all you can  

 stand by you! indeed i will   they sha'n't touch a hair of your head! 
she says  and i see her nostrils spread and her eyes snap when she said
it  too 

 if i get away i sha'n't be here   i says   to prove these rapscallions
ain't your uncles  and i couldn't do it if i was here   i could swear
they was beats and bummers  that's all  though that's worth something 
well  there's others can do that better than what i can  and they're
people that ain't going to be doubted as quick as i'd be   i'll tell you
how to find them   gimme a pencil and a piece of paper   there 'royal
nonesuch  bricksville '  put it away  and don't lose it   when the court
wants to find out something about these two  let them send up to
bricksville and say they've got the men that played the royal nonesuch 
and ask for some witnesses why  you'll have that entire town down here
before you can hardly wink  miss mary   and they'll come a-biling  too  

i judged we had got everything fixed about right now   so i says 

 just let the auction go right along  and don't worry   nobody don't have
to pay for the things they buy till a whole day after the auction on
accounts of the short notice  and they ain't going out of this till they
get that money  and the way we've fixed it the sale ain't going to count 
and they ain't going to get no money   it's just like the way it was with
the niggers it warn't no sale  and the niggers will be back before
long   why  they can't collect the money for the niggers yet they're in
the worst kind of a fix  miss mary  

 well   she says   i'll run down to breakfast now  and then i'll start
straight for mr  lothrop's  

 'deed  that ain't the ticket  miss mary jane   i says   by no manner of
means  go before breakfast  

 why  

 what did you reckon i wanted you to go at all for  miss mary  

 well  i never thought and come to think  i don't know   what was it  

 why  it's because you ain't one of these leather-face people   i don't
want no better book than what your face is   a body can set down and read
it off like coarse print   do you reckon you can go and face your uncles
when they come to kiss you good-morning  and never  

 there  there  don't!  yes  i'll go before breakfast i'll be glad to 
and leave my sisters with them  

 yes  never mind about them   they've got to stand it yet a while   they
might suspicion something if all of you was to go   i don't want you to
see them  nor your sisters  nor nobody in this town  if a neighbor was to
ask how is your uncles this morning your face would tell something   no 
you go right along  miss mary jane  and i'll fix it with all of them 
i'll tell miss susan to give your love to your uncles and say you've went
away for a few hours for to get a little rest and change  or to see a
friend  and you'll be back to-night or early in the morning  

 gone to see a friend is all right  but i won't have my love given to
them  

 well  then  it sha'n't be    it was well enough to tell her so no harm
in it   it was only a little thing to do  and no trouble  and it's the
little things that smooths people's roads the most  down here below  it
would make mary jane comfortable  and it wouldn't cost nothing   then i
says    there's one more thing that bag of money  

 well  they've got that  and it makes me feel pretty silly to think how
they got it  

 no  you're out  there   they hain't got it  

 why  who's got it  

 i wish i knowed  but i don't   i had it  because i stole it from them 
and i stole it to give to you  and i know where i hid it  but i'm afraid
it ain't there no more   i'm awful sorry  miss mary jane  i'm just as
sorry as i can be  but i done the best i could  i did honest   i come
nigh getting caught  and i had to shove it into the first place i come
to  and run and it warn't a good place  

 oh  stop blaming yourself it's too bad to do it  and i won't allow it
 you couldn't help it  it wasn't your fault   where did you hide it  

i didn't want to set her to thinking about her troubles again  and i
couldn't seem to get my mouth to tell her what would make her see that
corpse laying in the coffin with that bag of money on his stomach   so
for a minute i didn't say nothing  then i says 

 i'd ruther not tell you where i put it  miss mary jane  if you don't
mind letting me off  but i'll write it for you on a piece of paper  and
you can read it along the road to mr  lothrop's  if you want to   do you
reckon that 'll do  

 oh  yes  

so i wrote    i put it in the coffin   it was in there when you was
crying there  away in the night   i was behind the door  and i was mighty
sorry for you  miss mary jane  

it made my eyes water a little to remember her crying there all by
herself in the night  and them devils laying there right under her own
roof  shaming her and robbing her  and when i folded it up and give it to
her i see the water come into her eyes  too  and she shook me by the
hand  hard  and says 

 good-bye   i'm going to do everything just as you've told me  and if i
don't ever see you again  i sha'n't ever forget you and i'll think of
you a many and a many a time  and i'll pray for you  too!  and she was
gone 

pray for me!  i reckoned if she knowed me she'd take a job that was more
nearer her size   but i bet she done it  just the same she was just that
kind   she had the grit to pray for judus if she took the notion there
warn't no back-down to her  i judge   you may say what you want to  but
in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl i ever see  in my
opinion she was just full of sand   it sounds like flattery  but it ain't
no flattery   and when it comes to beauty and goodness  too she lays
over them all   i hain't ever seen her since that time that i see her go
out of that door  no  i hain't ever seen her since  but i reckon i've
thought of her a many and a many a million times  and of her saying she
would pray for me  and if ever i'd a thought it would do any good for me
to pray for her  blamed if i wouldn't a done it or bust 

well  mary jane she lit out the back way  i reckon  because nobody see
her go   when i struck susan and the hare-lip  i says 

 what's the name of them people over on t'other side of the river that
you all goes to see sometimes  

they says 

 there's several  but it's the proctors  mainly  

 that's the name   i says   i most forgot it   well  miss mary jane she
told me to tell you she's gone over there in a dreadful hurry one of
them's sick  

 which one  

 i don't know  leastways  i kinder forget  but i thinks it's  

 sakes alive  i hope it ain't hanner  

 i'm sorry to say it   i says   but hanner's the very one  

 my goodness  and she so well only last week!  is she took bad  

 it ain't no name for it   they set up with her all night  miss mary jane
said  and they don't think she'll last many hours  

 only think of that  now!  what's the matter with her  

i couldn't think of anything reasonable  right off that way  so i says 

 mumps  

 mumps your granny!  they don't set up with people that's got the mumps  

 they don't  don't they   you better bet they do with these mumps   these
mumps is different   it's a new kind  miss mary jane said  

 how's it a new kind  

 because it's mixed up with other things  

 what other things  

 well  measles  and whooping-cough  and erysiplas  and consumption  and
yaller janders  and brain-fever  and i don't know what all  

 my land!  and they call it the mumps  

 that's what miss mary jane said  

 well  what in the nation do they call it the mumps for  

 why  because it is the mumps   that's what it starts with  

 well  ther' ain't no sense in it   a body might stump his toe  and take
pison  and fall down the well  and break his neck  and bust his brains
out  and somebody come along and ask what killed him  and some numskull
up and say  'why  he stumped his toe '  would ther' be any sense in that 
no   and ther' ain't no sense in this  nuther   is it ketching  

 is it ketching   why  how you talk   is a harrow catching in the dark 
if you don't hitch on to one tooth  you're bound to on another  ain't
you  and you can't get away with that tooth without fetching the whole
harrow along  can you   well  these kind of mumps is a kind of a harrow 
as you may say and it ain't no slouch of a harrow  nuther  you come to
get it hitched on good  

 well  it's awful  i think   says the hare-lip    i'll go to uncle harvey
and  

 oh  yes   i says   i would   of course i would   i wouldn't lose no
time  

 well  why wouldn't you  

 just look at it a minute  and maybe you can see   hain't your uncles
obleegd to get along home to england as fast as they can   and do you
reckon they'd be mean enough to go off and leave you to go all that
journey by yourselves   you know they'll wait for you   so fur  so good 
your uncle harvey's a preacher  ain't he   very well  then  is a preacher
going to deceive a steamboat clerk  is he going to deceive a ship clerk 
 so as to get them to let miss mary jane go aboard   now you know he
ain't   what will he do  then   why  he'll say  'it's a great pity  but
my church matters has got to get along the best way they can  for my
niece has been exposed to the dreadful pluribus-unum mumps  and so it's
my bounden duty to set down here and wait the three months it takes to
show on her if she's got it '  but never mind  if you think it's best to
tell your uncle harvey  

 shucks  and stay fooling around here when we could all be having good
times in england whilst we was waiting to find out whether mary jane's
got it or not   why  you talk like a muggins  

 well  anyway  maybe you'd better tell some of the neighbors  

 listen at that  now   you do beat all for natural stupidness   can't you
see that they'd go and tell   ther' ain't no way but just to not tell
anybody at all  

 well  maybe you're right yes  i judge you are right  

 but i reckon we ought to tell uncle harvey she's gone out a while 
anyway  so he won't be uneasy about her  

 yes  miss mary jane she wanted you to do that   she says  'tell them to
give uncle harvey and william my love and a kiss  and say i've run over
the river to see mr ' mr  what is the name of that rich family your
uncle peter used to think so much of  i mean the one that  

 why  you must mean the apthorps  ain't it  

 of course  bother them kind of names  a body can't ever seem to remember
them  half the time  somehow   yes  she said  say she has run over for to
ask the apthorps to be sure and come to the auction and buy this house 
because she allowed her uncle peter would ruther they had it than anybody
else  and she's going to stick to them till they say they'll come  and
then  if she ain't too tired  she's coming home  and if she is  she'll be
home in the morning anyway   she said  don't say nothing about the
proctors  but only about the apthorps which 'll be perfectly true 
because she is going there to speak about their buying the house  i know
it  because she told me so herself  

 all right   they said  and cleared out to lay for their uncles  and give
them the love and the kisses  and tell them the message 

everything was all right now   the girls wouldn't say nothing because
they wanted to go to england  and the king and the duke would ruther mary
jane was off working for the auction than around in reach of doctor
robinson   i felt very good  i judged i had done it pretty neat i
reckoned tom sawyer couldn't a done it no neater himself   of course he
would a throwed more style into it  but i can't do that very handy  not
being brung up to it 

well  they held the auction in the public square  along towards the end
of the afternoon  and it strung along  and strung along  and the old man
he was on hand and looking his level pisonest  up there longside of the
auctioneer  and chipping in a little scripture now and then  or a little
goody-goody saying of some kind  and the duke he was around goo-gooing
for sympathy all he knowed how  and just spreading himself generly 

but by and by the thing dragged through  and everything was sold
 everything but a little old trifling lot in the graveyard   so they'd got
to work that off i never see such a girafft as the king was for wanting
to swallow everything   well  whilst they was at it a steamboat landed 
and in about two minutes up comes a crowd a-whooping and yelling and
laughing and carrying on  and singing out 

 here's your opposition line! here's your two sets o' heirs to old peter
wilks and you pays your money and you takes your choice! 




they was fetching a very nice-looking old gentleman along  and a
nice-looking younger one  with his right arm in a sling   and  my souls 
how the people yelled and laughed  and kept it up   but i didn't see no
joke about it  and i judged it would strain the duke and the king some to
see any   i reckoned they'd turn pale   but no  nary a pale did they
turn  the duke he never let on he suspicioned what was up  but just went
a goo-gooing around  happy and satisfied  like a jug that's googling out
buttermilk  and as for the king  he just gazed and gazed down sorrowful
on them new-comers like it give him the stomach-ache in his very heart to
think there could be such frauds and rascals in the world   oh  he done
it admirable   lots of the principal people gethered around the king  to
let him see they was on his side   that old gentleman that had just come
looked all puzzled to death   pretty soon he begun to speak  and i see
straight off he pronounced like an englishman not the king's way  though
the king's was pretty good for an imitation   i can't give the old gent's
words  nor i can't imitate him  but he turned around to the crowd  and
says  about like this 

 this is a surprise to me which i wasn't looking for  and i'll
acknowledge  candid and frank  i ain't very well fixed to meet it and
answer it  for my brother and me has had misfortunes  he's broke his arm 
and our baggage got put off at a town above here last night in the night
by a mistake   i am peter wilks' brother harvey  and this is his brother
william  which can't hear nor speak and can't even make signs to amount
to much  now't he's only got one hand to work them with   we are who we
say we are  and in a day or two  when i get the baggage  i can prove it 
but up till then i won't say nothing more  but go to the hotel and wait  

so him and the new dummy started off  and the king he laughs  and
blethers out 

 broke his arm very likely  ain't it  and very convenient  too  for a
fraud that's got to make signs  and ain't learnt how   lost their
baggage! that's mighty good! and mighty ingenious under the
circumstances! 

so he laughed again  and so did everybody else  except three or four  or
maybe half a dozen   one of these was that doctor  another one was a
sharp-looking gentleman  with a carpet-bag of the old-fashioned kind made
out of carpet-stuff  that had just come off of the steamboat and was
talking to him in a low voice  and glancing towards the king now and then
and nodding their heads it was levi bell  the lawyer that was gone up to
louisville  and another one was a big rough husky that come along and
listened to all the old gentleman said  and was listening to the king
now  and when the king got done this husky up and says 

 say  looky here  if you are harvey wilks  when'd you come to this town  

 the day before the funeral  friend   says the king 

 but what time o' day  

 in the evenin' 'bout an hour er two before sundown  

 how'd you come  

 i come down on the susan powell from cincinnati  

 well  then  how'd you come to be up at the pint in the mornin' in a
canoe  

 i warn't up at the pint in the mornin'  

 it's a lie  

several of them jumped for him and begged him not to talk that way to an
old man and a preacher 

 preacher be hanged  he's a fraud and a liar   he was up at the pint that
mornin'   i live up there  don't i   well  i was up there  and he was up
there   i see him there   he come in a canoe  along with tim collins and
a boy  

the doctor he up and says 

 would you know the boy again if you was to see him  hines  

 i reckon i would  but i don't know   why  yonder he is  now   i know him
perfectly easy  

it was me he pointed at   the doctor says 

 neighbors  i don't know whether the new couple is frauds or not  but if
these two ain't frauds  i am an idiot  that's all   i think it's our duty
to see that they don't get away from here till we've looked into this
thing  come along  hines  come along  the rest of you   we'll take these
fellows to the tavern and affront them with t'other couple  and i reckon
we'll find out something before we get through  

it was nuts for the crowd  though maybe not for the king's friends  so we
all started   it was about sundown   the doctor he led me along by the
hand  and was plenty kind enough  but he never let go my hand 

we all got in a big room in the hotel  and lit up some candles  and
fetched in the new couple   first  the doctor says 

 i don't wish to be too hard on these two men  but i think they're
frauds  and they may have complices that we don't know nothing about   if
they have  won't the complices get away with that bag of gold peter wilks
left   it ain't unlikely   if these men ain't frauds  they won't object
to sending for that money and letting us keep it till they prove they're
all right ain't that so  

everybody agreed to that   so i judged they had our gang in a pretty
tight place right at the outstart   but the king he only looked
sorrowful  and says 

 gentlemen  i wish the money was there  for i ain't got no disposition to
throw anything in the way of a fair  open  out-and-out investigation o'
this misable business  but  alas  the money ain't there  you k'n send and
see  if you want to  

 where is it  then  

 well  when my niece give it to me to keep for her i took and hid it
inside o' the straw tick o' my bed  not wishin' to bank it for the few
days we'd be here  and considerin' the bed a safe place  we not bein'
used to niggers  and suppos'n' 'em honest  like servants in england   the
niggers stole it the very next mornin' after i had went down stairs  and
when i sold 'em i hadn't missed the money yit  so they got clean away
with it   my servant here k'n tell you 'bout it  gentlemen  

the doctor and several said  shucks!  and i see nobody didn't altogether
believe him   one man asked me if i see the niggers steal it   i said no 
but i see them sneaking out of the room and hustling away  and i never
thought nothing  only i reckoned they was afraid they had waked up my
master and was trying to get away before he made trouble with them   that
was all they asked me   then the doctor whirls on me and says 

 are you english  too  

i says yes  and him and some others laughed  and said   stuff! 

well  then they sailed in on the general investigation  and there we had
it  up and down  hour in  hour out  and nobody never said a word about
supper  nor ever seemed to think about it and so they kept it up  and
kept it up  and it was the worst mixed-up thing you ever see   they made
the king tell his yarn  and they made the old gentleman tell his'n  and
anybody but a lot of prejudiced chuckleheads would a seen that the old
gentleman was spinning truth and t'other one lies   and by and by they
had me up to tell what i knowed   the king he give me a left-handed look
out of the corner of his eye  and so i knowed enough to talk on the right
side   i begun to tell about sheffield  and how we lived there  and all
about the english wilkses  and so on  but i didn't get pretty fur till
the doctor begun to laugh  and levi bell  the lawyer  says 

 set down  my boy  i wouldn't strain myself if i was you   i reckon you
ain't used to lying  it don't seem to come handy  what you want is
practice   you do it pretty awkward  

i didn't care nothing for the compliment  but i was glad to be let off 
anyway 

the doctor he started to say something  and turns and says 

 if you'd been in town at first  levi bell   the king broke in and
reached out his hand  and says 

 why  is this my poor dead brother's old friend that he's wrote so often
about  

the lawyer and him shook hands  and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased 
and they talked right along awhile  and then got to one side and talked
low  and at last the lawyer speaks up and says 

 that 'll fix it   i'll take the order and send it  along with your
brother's  and then they'll know it's all right  

so they got some paper and a pen  and the king he set down and twisted
his head to one side  and chawed his tongue  and scrawled off something 
and then they give the pen to the duke and then for the first time the
duke looked sick   but he took the pen and wrote   so then the lawyer
turns to the new old gentleman and says 

 you and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names  

the old gentleman wrote  but nobody couldn't read it   the lawyer looked
powerful astonished  and says 

 well  it beats me  and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket 
and examined them  and then examined the old man's writing  and then them
again  and then says    these old letters is from harvey wilks  and
here's these two handwritings  and anybody can see they didn't write
them  (the king and the duke looked sold and foolish  i tell you  to see
how the lawyer had took them in)   and here's this old gentleman's hand
writing  and anybody can tell  easy enough  he didn't write them fact
is  the scratches he makes ain't properly writing at all   now  here's
some letters from  

the new old gentleman says 

 if you please  let me explain   nobody can read my hand but my brother
there so he copies for me   it's his hand you've got there  not mine  

 well!  says the lawyer   this is a state of things   i've got some of
william's letters  too  so if you'll get him to write a line or so we can
com  

 he can't write with his left hand   says the old gentleman    if he
could use his right hand  you would see that he wrote his own letters and
mine too   look at both  please they're by the same hand  

the lawyer done it  and says 

 i believe it's so and if it ain't so  there's a heap stronger
resemblance than i'd noticed before  anyway   well  well  well!  i
thought we was right on the track of a solution  but it's gone to grass 
partly   but anyway  one thing is proved these two ain't either of 'em
wilkses  and he wagged his head towards the king and the duke 

well  what do you think   that muleheaded old fool wouldn't give in then!
indeed he wouldn't   said it warn't no fair test   said his brother
william was the cussedest joker in the world  and hadn't tried to write
 he see william was going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the
pen to paper   and so he warmed up and went warbling right along till he
was actuly beginning to believe what he was saying himself  but pretty
soon the new gentleman broke in  and says 

 i've thought of something   is there anybody here that helped to lay out
my br helped to lay out the late peter wilks for burying  

 yes   says somebody   me and ab turner done it   we're both here  

then the old man turns towards the king  and says 

 perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his breast  

blamed if the king didn't have to brace up mighty quick  or he'd a
squshed down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under  it took him
so sudden  and  mind you  it was a thing that was calculated to make most
anybody sqush to get fetched such a solid one as that without any notice 
because how was he going to know what was tattooed on the man   he
whitened a little  he couldn't help it  and it was mighty still in there 
and everybody bending a little forwards and gazing at him   says i to
myself  now he'll throw up the sponge there ain't no more use   well 
did he   a body can't hardly believe it  but he didn't   i reckon he
thought he'd keep the thing up till he tired them people out  so they'd
thin out  and him and the duke could break loose and get away   anyway 
he set there  and pretty soon he begun to smile  and says 

 mf!  it's a very tough question  ain't it!  yes  sir  i k'n tell you
what's tattooed on his breast   it's jest a small  thin  blue arrow
 that's what it is  and if you don't look clost  you can't see it   now
what do you say hey  

well  i never see anything like that old blister for clean out-and-out
cheek 

the new old gentleman turns brisk towards ab turner and his pard  and his
eye lights up like he judged he'd got the king this time  and says 

 there you've heard what he said!  was there any such mark on peter
wilks' breast  

both of them spoke up and says 

 we didn't see no such mark  

 good!  says the old gentleman    now  what you did see on his breast was
a small dim p  and a b (which is an initial he dropped when he was
young)  and a w  with dashes between them  so   p b w  and he marked
them that way on a piece of paper    come  ain't that what you saw  

both of them spoke up again  and says 

 no  we didn't   we never seen any marks at all  

well  everybody was in a state of mind now  and they sings out 

 the whole bilin' of 'm 's frauds!  le's duck 'em! le's drown 'em! le's
ride 'em on a rail!  and everybody was whooping at once  and there was a
rattling powwow   but the lawyer he jumps on the table and yells  and
says 

 gentlemen gentlemen!  hear me just a word just a single word if you
please!  there's one way yet let's go and dig up the corpse and look  

that took them 

 hooray!  they all shouted  and was starting right off  but the lawyer
and the doctor sung out 

 hold on  hold on!  collar all these four men and the boy  and fetch them
along  too! 

 we'll do it!  they all shouted   and if we don't find them marks we'll
lynch the whole gang! 

i was scared  now  i tell you   but there warn't no getting away  you
know  they gripped us all  and marched us right along  straight for the
graveyard  which was a mile and a half down the river  and the whole town
at our heels  for we made noise enough  and it was only nine in the
evening 

as we went by our house i wished i hadn't sent mary jane out of town 
because now if i could tip her the wink she'd light out and save me  and
blow on our dead-beats 

well  we swarmed along down the river road  just carrying on like
wildcats  and to make it more scary the sky was darking up  and the
lightning beginning to wink and flitter  and the wind to shiver amongst
the leaves  this was the most awful trouble and most dangersome i ever
was in  and i was kinder stunned  everything was going so different from
what i had allowed for  stead of being fixed so i could take my own time
if i wanted to  and see all the fun  and have mary jane at my back to
save me and set me free when the close-fit come  here was nothing in the
world betwixt me and sudden death but just them tattoo-marks   if they
didn't find them 

i couldn't bear to think about it  and yet  somehow  i couldn't think
about nothing else   it got darker and darker  and it was a beautiful
time to give the crowd the slip  but that big husky had me by the wrist
 hines and a body might as well try to give goliar the slip   he dragged
me right along  he was so excited  and i had to run to keep up 

when they got there they swarmed into the graveyard and washed over it
like an overflow   and when they got to the grave they found they had
about a hundred times as many shovels as they wanted  but nobody hadn't
thought to fetch a lantern   but they sailed into digging anyway by the
flicker of the lightning  and sent a man to the nearest house  a half a
mile off  to borrow one 

so they dug and dug like everything  and it got awful dark  and the rain
started  and the wind swished and swushed along  and the lightning come
brisker and brisker  and the thunder boomed  but them people never took
no notice of it  they was so full of this business  and one minute you
could see everything and every face in that big crowd  and the shovelfuls
of dirt sailing up out of the grave  and the next second the dark wiped
it all out  and you couldn't see nothing at all 

at last they got out the coffin and begun to unscrew the lid  and then
such another crowding and shouldering and shoving as there was  to
scrouge in and get a sight  you never see  and in the dark  that way  it
was awful   hines he hurt my wrist dreadful pulling and tugging so  and i
reckon he clean forgot i was in the world  he was so excited and panting 

all of a sudden the lightning let go a perfect sluice of white glare  and
somebody sings out 

 by the living jingo  here's the bag of gold on his breast! 

hines let out a whoop  like everybody else  and dropped my wrist and give
a big surge to bust his way in and get a look  and the way i lit out and
shinned for the road in the dark there ain't nobody can tell 

i had the road all to myself  and i fairly flew leastways  i had it all
to myself except the solid dark  and the now-and-then glares  and the
buzzing of the rain  and the thrashing of the wind  and the splitting of
the thunder  and sure as you are born i did clip it along!

when i struck the town i see there warn't nobody out in the storm  so i
never hunted for no back streets  but humped it straight through the main
one  and when i begun to get towards our house i aimed my eye and set it 
no light there  the house all dark which made me feel sorry and
disappointed  i didn't know why   but at last  just as i was sailing by 
flash comes the light in mary jane's window! and my heart swelled up
sudden  like to bust  and the same second the house and all was behind me
in the dark  and wasn't ever going to be before me no more in this world 
she was the best girl i ever see  and had the most sand 

the minute i was far enough above the town to see i could make the
towhead  i begun to look sharp for a boat to borrow  and the first time
the lightning showed me one that wasn't chained i snatched it and shoved 
it was a canoe  and warn't fastened with nothing but a rope   the towhead
was a rattling big distance off  away out there in the middle of the
river  but i didn't lose no time  and when i struck the raft at last i
was so fagged i would a just laid down to blow and gasp if i could
afforded it   but i didn't   as i sprung aboard i sung out 

 out with you  jim  and set her loose!  glory be to goodness  we're shut
of them! 

jim lit out  and was a-coming for me with both arms spread  he was so
full of joy  but when i glimpsed him in the lightning my heart shot up in
my mouth and i went overboard backwards  for i forgot he was old king
lear and a drownded a-rab all in one  and it most scared the livers and
lights out of me   but jim fished me out  and was going to hug me and
bless me  and so on  he was so glad i was back and we was shut of the
king and the duke  but i says 

 not now  have it for breakfast  have it for breakfast!  cut loose and
let her slide! 

so in two seconds away we went a-sliding down the river  and it did seem
so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river  and
nobody to bother us   i had to skip around a bit  and jump up and crack
my heels a few times i couldn't help it  but about the third crack i
noticed a sound that i knowed mighty well  and held my breath and
listened and waited  and sure enough  when the next flash busted out over
the water  here they come! and just a-laying to their oars and making
their skiff hum!  it was the king and the duke 

so i wilted right down on to the planks then  and give up  and it was all
i could do to keep from crying 




when they got aboard the king went for me  and shook me by the collar 
and says 

 tryin' to give us the slip  was ye  you pup!  tired of our company 
hey  

i says 

 no  your majesty  we warn't please don't  your majesty! 

 quick  then  and tell us what was your idea  or i'll shake the insides
out o' you! 

 honest  i'll tell you everything just as it happened  your majesty   the
man that had a-holt of me was very good to me  and kept saying he had a
boy about as big as me that died last year  and he was sorry to see a boy
in such a dangerous fix  and when they was all took by surprise by
finding the gold  and made a rush for the coffin  he lets go of me and
whispers  'heel it now  or they'll hang ye  sure!' and i lit out   it
didn't seem no good for me to stay i couldn't do nothing  and i didn't
want to be hung if i could get away   so i never stopped running till i
found the canoe  and when i got here i told jim to hurry  or they'd catch
me and hang me yet  and said i was afeard you and the duke wasn't alive
now  and i was awful sorry  and so was jim  and was awful glad when we
see you coming  you may ask jim if i didn't  

jim said it was so  and the king told him to shut up  and said   oh  yes 
it's mighty likely!  and shook me up again  and said he reckoned he'd
drownd me   but the duke says 

 leggo the boy  you old idiot!  would you a done any different   did you
inquire around for him when you got loose   i don't remember it  

so the king let go of me  and begun to cuss that town and everybody in
it  but the duke says 

 you better a blame' sight give yourself a good cussing  for you're the
one that's entitled to it most   you hain't done a thing from the start
that had any sense in it  except coming out so cool and cheeky with that
imaginary blue-arrow mark   that was bright it was right down bully  and
it was the thing that saved us   for if it hadn't been for that they'd a
jailed us till them englishmen's baggage come and then the
penitentiary  you bet! but that trick took 'em to the graveyard  and the
gold done us a still bigger kindness  for if the excited fools hadn't let
go all holts and made that rush to get a look we'd a slept in our cravats
to-night cravats warranted to wear  too longer than we'd need 'em  

they was still a minute thinking  then the king says  kind of
absent-minded like 

 mf!  and we reckoned the niggers stole it! 

that made me squirm!

 yes   says the duke  kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic   we did  

after about a half a minute the king drawls out 

 leastways  i did  

the duke says  the same way 

 on the contrary  i did  

the king kind of ruffles up  and says 

 looky here  bilgewater  what'r you referrin' to  

the duke says  pretty brisk 

 when it comes to that  maybe you'll let me ask  what was you referring
to  

 shucks!  says the king  very sarcastic   but i don't know maybe you was
asleep  and didn't know what you was about  

the duke bristles up now  and says 

 oh  let up on this cussed nonsense  do you take me for a blame' fool 
don't you reckon i know who hid that money in that coffin  

 yes  sir!  i know you do know  because you done it yourself! 

 it's a lie!  and the duke went for him   the king sings out 

 take y'r hands off! leggo my throat! i take it all back! 

the duke says 

 well  you just own up  first  that you did hide that money there 
intending to give me the slip one of these days  and come back and dig it
up  and have it all to yourself  

 wait jest a minute  duke answer me this one question  honest and fair 
if you didn't put the money there  say it  and i'll b'lieve you  and take
back everything i said  

 you old scoundrel  i didn't  and you know i didn't   there  now! 

 well  then  i b'lieve you   but answer me only jest this one more now
don't git mad  didn't you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide
it  

the duke never said nothing for a little bit  then he says 

 well  i don't care if i did  i didn't do it  anyway   but you not only
had it in mind to do it  but you done it  

 i wisht i never die if i done it  duke  and that's honest   i won't say
i warn't goin' to do it  because i was  but you i mean somebody got in
ahead o' me  

 it's a lie!  you done it  and you got to say you done it  or  

the king began to gurgle  and then he gasps out 

 'nough! i own up! 

i was very glad to hear him say that  it made me feel much more easier
than what i was feeling before   so the duke took his hands off and says 

 if you ever deny it again i'll drown you   it's well for you to set
there and blubber like a baby it's fitten for you  after the way you've
acted  i never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything
 and i a-trusting you all the time  like you was my own father   you ought
to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot
of poor niggers  and you never say a word for 'em   it makes me feel
ridiculous to think i was soft enough to believe that rubbage   cuss you 
i can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisit you wanted
to get what money i'd got out of the nonesuch and one thing or another 
and scoop it all! 

the king says  timid  and still a-snuffling 

 why  duke  it was you that said make up the deffisit  it warn't me  

 dry up!  i don't want to hear no more out of you!  says the duke    and
now you see what you got by it   they've got all their own money back 
and all of ourn but a shekel or two besides   g'long to bed  and don't
you deffersit me no more deffersits  long 's you live! 

so the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort 
and before long the duke tackled his bottle  and so in about a half an
hour they was as thick as thieves again  and the tighter they got the
lovinger they got  and went off a-snoring in each other's arms   they
both got powerful mellow  but i noticed the king didn't get mellow enough
to forget to remember to not deny about hiding the money-bag again   that
made me feel easy and satisfied   of course when they got to snoring we
had a long gabble  and i told jim everything 




we dasn't stop again at any town for days and days  kept right along down
the river   we was down south in the warm weather now  and a mighty long
ways from home   we begun to come to trees with spanish moss on them 
hanging down from the limbs like long  gray beards   it was the first i
ever see it growing  and it made the woods look solemn and dismal   so
now the frauds reckoned they was out of danger  and they begun to work
the villages again 

first they done a lecture on temperance  but they didn't make enough for
them both to get drunk on   then in another village they started a
dancing-school  but they didn't know no more how to dance than a kangaroo
does  so the first prance they made the general public jumped in and
pranced them out of town   another time they tried to go at yellocution 
but they didn't yellocute long till the audience got up and give them a
solid good cussing  and made them skip out   they tackled missionarying 
and mesmerizing  and doctoring  and telling fortunes  and a little of
everything  but they couldn't seem to have no luck   so at last they got
just about dead broke  and laid around the raft as she floated along 
thinking and thinking  and never saying nothing  by the half a day at a
time  and dreadful blue and desperate 

and at last they took a change and begun to lay their heads together in
the wigwam and talk low and confidential two or three hours at a time 
jim and me got uneasy   we didn't like the look of it   we judged they
was studying up some kind of worse deviltry than ever   we turned it over
and over  and at last we made up our minds they was going to break into
somebody's house or store  or was going into the counterfeit-money
business  or something  so then we was pretty scared  and made up an
agreement that we wouldn't have nothing in the world to do with such
actions  and if we ever got the least show we would give them the cold
shake and clear out and leave them behind  well  early one morning we hid
the raft in a good  safe place about two mile below a little bit of a
shabby village named pikesville  and the king he went ashore and told us
all to stay hid whilst he went up to town and smelt around to see if
anybody had got any wind of the royal nonesuch there yet  ( house to rob 
you mean   says i to myself   and when you get through robbing it you'll
come back here and wonder what has become of me and jim and the raft and
you'll have to take it out in wondering  ) and he said if he warn't back
by midday the duke and me would know it was all right  and we was to come
along 

so we stayed where we was   the duke he fretted and sweated around  and
was in a mighty sour way   he scolded us for everything  and we couldn't
seem to do nothing right  he found fault with every little thing 
something was a-brewing  sure   i was good and glad when midday come and
no king  we could have a change  anyway and maybe a chance for the
chance on top of it   so me and the duke went up to the village  and
hunted around there for the king  and by and by we found him in the back
room of a little low doggery  very tight  and a lot of loafers
bullyragging him for sport  and he a-cussing and a-threatening with all
his might  and so tight he couldn't walk  and couldn't do nothing to
them   the duke he begun to abuse him for an old fool  and the king begun
to sass back  and the minute they was fairly at it i lit out and shook
the reefs out of my hind legs  and spun down the river road like a deer 
for i see our chance  and i made up my mind that it would be a long day
before they ever see me and jim again   i got down there all out of
breath but loaded up with joy  and sung out 

 set her loose  jim! we're all right now! 

but there warn't no answer  and nobody come out of the wigwam   jim was
gone!  i set up a shout and then another and then another one  and run
this way and that in the woods  whooping and screeching  but it warn't no
use old jim was gone   then i set down and cried  i couldn't help it 
but i couldn't set still long   pretty soon i went out on the road 
trying to think what i better do  and i run across a boy walking  and
asked him if he'd seen a strange nigger dressed so and so  and he says 

 yes  

 whereabouts   says i 

 down to silas phelps' place  two mile below here   he's a runaway
nigger  and they've got him   was you looking for him  

 you bet i ain't!  i run across him in the woods about an hour or two
ago  and he said if i hollered he'd cut my livers out and told me to lay
down and stay where i was  and i done it   been there ever since  afeard
to come out  

 well   he says   you needn't be afeard no more  becuz they've got him 
he run off f'm down south  som'ers  

 it's a good job they got him  

 well  i reckon!  there's two hunderd dollars reward on him   it's like
picking up money out'n the road  

 yes  it is and i could a had it if i'd been big enough  i see him
first  who nailed him  

 it was an old fellow a stranger and he sold out his chance in him for
forty dollars  becuz he's got to go up the river and can't wait   think
o' that  now!  you bet i'd wait  if it was seven year  

 that's me  every time   says i    but maybe his chance ain't worth no
more than that  if he'll sell it so cheap   maybe there's something ain't
straight about it  

 but it is  though straight as a string   i see the handbill myself   it
tells all about him  to a dot paints him like a picture  and tells the
plantation he's frum  below newrleans   no-sirree-bob  they ain't no
trouble 'bout that speculation  you bet you   say  gimme a chaw tobacker 
won't ye  

i didn't have none  so he left   i went to the raft  and set down in the
wigwam to think   but i couldn't come to nothing   i thought till i wore
my head sore  but i couldn't see no way out of the trouble   after all
this long journey  and after all we'd done for them scoundrels  here it
was all come to nothing  everything all busted up and ruined  because
they could have the heart to serve jim such a trick as that  and make him
a slave again all his life  and amongst strangers  too  for forty dirty
dollars 

once i said to myself it would be a thousand times better for jim to be a
slave at home where his family was  as long as he'd got to be a slave 
and so i'd better write a letter to tom sawyer and tell him to tell miss
watson where he was   but i soon give up that notion for two things 
she'd be mad and disgusted at his rascality and ungratefulness for
leaving her  and so she'd sell him straight down the river again  and if
she didn't  everybody naturally despises an ungrateful nigger  and they'd
make jim feel it all the time  and so he'd feel ornery and disgraced 
and then think of me!  it would get all around that huck finn helped a
nigger to get his freedom  and if i was ever to see anybody from that
town again i'd be ready to get down and lick his boots for shame   that's
just the way   a person does a low-down thing  and then he don't want to
take no consequences of it  thinks as long as he can hide  it ain't no
disgrace   that was my fix exactly   the more i studied about this the
more my conscience went to grinding me  and the more wicked and low-down
and ornery i got to feeling  and at last  when it hit me all of a sudden
that here was the plain hand of providence slapping me in the face and
letting me know my wickedness was being watched all the time from up
there in heaven  whilst i was stealing a poor old woman's nigger that
hadn't ever done me no harm  and now was showing me there's one that's
always on the lookout  and ain't a-going to allow no such miserable
doings to go only just so fur and no further  i most dropped in my tracks
i was so scared   well  i tried the best i could to kinder soften it up
somehow for myself by saying i was brung up wicked  and so i warn't so
much to blame  but something inside of me kept saying   there was the
sunday-school  you could a gone to it  and if you'd a done it they'd a
learnt you there that people that acts as i'd been acting about that
nigger goes to everlasting fire  

it made me shiver   and i about made up my mind to pray  and see if i
couldn't try to quit being the kind of a boy i was and be better   so i
kneeled down   but the words wouldn't come   why wouldn't they   it
warn't no use to try and hide it from him   nor from me  neither   i
knowed very well why they wouldn't come   it was because my heart warn't
right  it was because i warn't square  it was because i was playing
double   i was letting on to give up sin  but away inside of me i was
holding on to the biggest one of all   i was trying to make my mouth say
i would do the right thing and the clean thing  and go and write to that
nigger's owner and tell where he was  but deep down in me i knowed it was
a lie  and he knowed it   you can't pray a lie i found that out 

so i was full of trouble  full as i could be  and didn't know what to do 
at last i had an idea  and i says  i'll go and write the letter and then
see if i can pray   why  it was astonishing  the way i felt as light as a
feather right straight off  and my troubles all gone   so i got a piece
of paper and a pencil  all glad and excited  and set down and wrote 

miss watson  your runaway nigger jim is down here two mile below
pikesville  and mr  phelps has got him and he will give him up for the
reward if you send 

huck finn 

i felt good and all washed clean of sin for the first time i had ever
felt so in my life  and i knowed i could pray now   but i didn't do it
straight off  but laid the paper down and set there thinking thinking
how good it was all this happened so  and how near i come to being lost
and going to hell   and went on thinking   and got to thinking over our
trip down the river  and i see jim before me all the time   in the day
and in the night-time  sometimes moonlight  sometimes storms  and we
a-floating along  talking and singing and laughing   but somehow i
couldn't seem to strike no places to harden me against him  but only the
other kind   i'd see him standing my watch on top of his'n  'stead of
calling me  so i could go on sleeping  and see him how glad he was when i
come back out of the fog  and when i come to him again in the swamp  up
there where the feud was  and such-like times  and would always call me
honey  and pet me and do everything he could think of for me  and how
good he always was  and at last i struck the time i saved him by telling
the men we had small-pox aboard  and he was so grateful  and said i was
the best friend old jim ever had in the world  and the only one he's got
now  and then i happened to look around and see that paper 

it was a close place   i took it up  and held it in my hand   i was
a-trembling  because i'd got to decide  forever  betwixt two things  and
i knowed it   i studied a minute  sort of holding my breath  and then
says to myself 

 all right  then  i'll go to hell  and tore it up 

it was awful thoughts and awful words  but they was said   and i let them
stay said  and never thought no more about reforming   i shoved the whole
thing out of my head  and said i would take up wickedness again  which
was in my line  being brung up to it  and the other warn't   and for a
starter i would go to work and steal jim out of slavery again  and if i
could think up anything worse  i would do that  too  because as long as i
was in  and in for good  i might as well go the whole hog 

then i set to thinking over how to get at it  and turned over some
considerable many ways in my mind  and at last fixed up a plan that
suited me   so then i took the bearings of a woody island that was down
the river a piece  and as soon as it was fairly dark i crept out with my
raft and went for it  and hid it there  and then turned in   i slept the
night through  and got up before it was light  and had my breakfast  and
put on my store clothes  and tied up some others and one thing or another
in a bundle  and took the canoe and cleared for shore   i landed below
where i judged was phelps's place  and hid my bundle in the woods  and
then filled up the canoe with water  and loaded rocks into her and sunk
her where i could find her again when i wanted her  about a quarter of a
mile below a little steam sawmill that was on the bank 

then i struck up the road  and when i passed the mill i see a sign on it 
 phelps's sawmill   and when i come to the farm-houses  two or three
hundred yards further along  i kept my eyes peeled  but didn't see nobody
around  though it was good daylight now   but i didn't mind  because i
didn't want to see nobody just yet i only wanted to get the lay of the
land  according to my plan  i was going to turn up there from the
village  not from below   so i just took a look  and shoved along 
straight for town  well  the very first man i see when i got there was
the duke   he was sticking up a bill for the royal nonesuch three-night
performance like that other time   they had the cheek  them frauds!  i
was right on him before i could shirk   he looked astonished  and says 

 hel-lo!  where'd you come from    then he says  kind of glad and eager 
 where's the raft  got her in a good place  

i says 

 why  that's just what i was going to ask your grace  

then he didn't look so joyful  and says 

 what was your idea for asking me   he says 

 well   i says   when i see the king in that doggery yesterday i says to
myself  we can't get him home for hours  till he's soberer  so i went
a-loafing around town to put in the time and wait   a man up and offered
me ten cents to help him pull a skiff over the river and back to fetch a
sheep  and so i went along  but when we was dragging him to the boat  and
the man left me a-holt of the rope and went behind him to shove him
along  he was too strong for me and jerked loose and run  and we after
him   we didn't have no dog  and so we had to chase him all over the
country till we tired him out   we never got him till dark  then we
fetched him over  and i started down for the raft   when i got there and
see it was gone  i says to myself  'they've got into trouble and had to
leave  and they've took my nigger  which is the only nigger i've got in
the world  and now i'm in a strange country  and ain't got no property no
more  nor nothing  and no way to make my living ' so i set down and
cried   i slept in the woods all night   but what did become of the raft 
then  and jim poor jim! 

 blamed if i know that is  what's become of the raft   that old fool had
made a trade and got forty dollars  and when we found him in the doggery
the loafers had matched half-dollars with him and got every cent but what
he'd spent for whisky  and when i got him home late last night and found
the raft gone  we said  'that little rascal has stole our raft and shook
us  and run off down the river ' 

 i wouldn't shake my nigger  would i  the only nigger i had in the
world  and the only property  

 we never thought of that   fact is  i reckon we'd come to consider him
our nigger  yes  we did consider him so goodness knows we had trouble
enough for him   so when we see the raft was gone and we flat broke 
there warn't anything for it but to try the royal nonesuch another shake 
and i've pegged along ever since  dry as a powder-horn   where's that ten
cents  give it here  

i had considerable money  so i give him ten cents  but begged him to
spend it for something to eat  and give me some  because it was all the
money i had  and i hadn't had nothing to eat since yesterday   he never
said nothing   the next minute he whirls on me and says 

 do you reckon that nigger would blow on us   we'd skin him if he done
that! 

 how can he blow   hain't he run off  

 no!  that old fool sold him  and never divided with me  and the money's
gone  

 sold him    i says  and begun to cry   why  he was my nigger  and that
was my money   where is he  i want my nigger  

 well  you can't get your nigger  that's all so dry up your blubbering 
looky here do you think you'd venture to blow on us   blamed if i think
i'd trust you   why  if you was to blow on us  

he stopped  but i never see the duke look so ugly out of his eyes before 
i went on a-whimpering  and says 

 i don't want to blow on nobody  and i ain't got no time to blow  nohow 
i got to turn out and find my nigger  

he looked kinder bothered  and stood there with his bills fluttering on
his arm  thinking  and wrinkling up his forehead   at last he says 

 i'll tell you something   we got to be here three days   if you'll
promise you won't blow  and won't let the nigger blow  i'll tell you
where to find him  

so i promised  and he says 

 a farmer by the name of silas ph   and then he stopped   you see  he
started to tell me the truth  but when he stopped that way  and begun to
study and think again  i reckoned he was changing his mind   and so he
was  he wouldn't trust me  he wanted to make sure of having me out of the
way the whole three days   so pretty soon he says 

 the man that bought him is named abram foster abram g  foster and he
lives forty mile back here in the country  on the road to lafayette  

 all right   i says   i can walk it in three days   and i'll start this
very afternoon  

 no you wont  you'll start now  and don't you lose any time about it 
neither  nor do any gabbling by the way   just keep a tight tongue in
your head and move right along  and then you won't get into trouble with
us  d'ye hear  

that was the order i wanted  and that was the one i played for   i wanted
to be left free to work my plans 

 so clear out   he says   and you can tell mr  foster whatever you want
to  maybe you can get him to believe that jim is your nigger some idiots
don't require documents leastways i've heard there's such down south
here   and when you tell him the handbill and the reward's bogus  maybe
he'll believe you when you explain to him what the idea was for getting
'em out   go 'long now  and tell him anything you want to  but mind you
don't work your jaw any between here and there  

so i left  and struck for the back country   i didn't look around  but i
kinder felt like he was watching me   but i knowed i could tire him out
at that   i went straight out in the country as much as a mile before i
stopped  then i doubled back through the woods towards phelps'   i
reckoned i better start in on my plan straight off without fooling
around  because i wanted to stop jim's mouth till these fellows could get
away   i didn't want no trouble with their kind   i'd seen all i wanted
to of them  and wanted to get entirely shut of them 




when i got there it was all still and sunday-like  and hot and sunshiny 
the hands was gone to the fields  and there was them kind of faint
dronings of bugs and flies in the air that makes it seem so lonesome and
like everybody's dead and gone  and if a breeze fans along and quivers
the leaves it makes you feel mournful  because you feel like it's spirits
whispering spirits that's been dead ever so many years and you always
think they're talking about you   as a general thing it makes a body wish
he was dead  too  and done with it all 

phelps' was one of these little one-horse cotton plantations  and they
all look alike   a rail fence round a two-acre yard  a stile made out of
logs sawed off and up-ended in steps  like barrels of a different length 
to climb over the fence with  and for the women to stand on when they are
going to jump on to a horse  some sickly grass-patches in the big yard 
but mostly it was bare and smooth  like an old hat with the nap rubbed
off  big double log-house for the white folks hewed logs  with the
chinks stopped up with mud or mortar  and these mud-stripes been
whitewashed some time or another  round-log kitchen  with a big broad 
open but roofed passage joining it to the house  log smoke-house back of
the kitchen  three little log nigger-cabins in a row t'other side the
smoke-house  one little hut all by itself away down against the back
fence  and some outbuildings down a piece the other side  ash-hopper and
big kettle to bile soap in by the little hut  bench by the kitchen door 
with bucket of water and a gourd  hound asleep there in the sun  more
hounds asleep round about  about three shade trees away off in a corner 
some currant bushes and gooseberry bushes in one place by the fence 
outside of the fence a garden and a watermelon patch  then the cotton
fields begins  and after the fields the woods 

i went around and clumb over the back stile by the ash-hopper  and
started for the kitchen   when i got a little ways i heard the dim hum of
a spinning-wheel wailing along up and sinking along down again  and then
i knowed for certain i wished i was dead for that is the lonesomest
sound in the whole world 

i went right along  not fixing up any particular plan  but just trusting
to providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come  for
i'd noticed that providence always did put the right words in my mouth if
i left it alone 

when i got half-way  first one hound and then another got up and went for
me  and of course i stopped and faced them  and kept still   and such
another powwow as they made!  in a quarter of a minute i was a kind of a
hub of a wheel  as you may say spokes made out of dogs circle of
fifteen of them packed together around me  with their necks and noses
stretched up towards me  a-barking and howling  and more a-coming  you
could see them sailing over fences and around corners from everywheres 

a nigger woman come tearing out of the kitchen with a rolling-pin in her
hand  singing out   begone you tige! you spot! begone sah!  and she
fetched first one and then another of them a clip and sent them howling 
and then the rest followed  and the next second half of them come back 
wagging their tails around me  and making friends with me   there ain't
no harm in a hound  nohow 

and behind the woman comes a little nigger girl and two little nigger
boys without anything on but tow-linen shirts  and they hung on to their
mother's gown  and peeped out from behind her at me  bashful  the way
they always do   and here comes the white woman running from the house 
about forty-five or fifty year old  bareheaded  and her spinning-stick in
her hand  and behind her comes her little white children  acting the same
way the little niggers was going   she was smiling all over so she could
hardly stand and says 

 it's you  at last! ain't it  

i out with a  yes'm  before i thought 

she grabbed me and hugged me tight  and then gripped me by both hands and
shook and shook  and the tears come in her eyes  and run down over  and
she couldn't seem to hug and shake enough  and kept saying   you don't
look as much like your mother as i reckoned you would  but law sakes  i
don't care for that  i'm so glad to see you!  dear  dear  it does seem
like i could eat you up!  children  it's your cousin tom! tell him
howdy  

but they ducked their heads  and put their fingers in their mouths  and
hid behind her   so she run on 

 lize  hurry up and get him a hot breakfast right away or did you get
your breakfast on the boat  

i said i had got it on the boat   so then she started for the house 
leading me by the hand  and the children tagging after   when we got
there she set me down in a split-bottomed chair  and set herself down on
a little low stool in front of me  holding both of my hands  and says 

 now i can have a good look at you  and  laws-a-me  i've been hungry for
it a many and a many a time  all these long years  and it's come at last!
we been expecting you a couple of days and more   what kep' you  boat
get aground  

 yes'm she  

 don't say yes'm say aunt sally   where'd she get aground  

i didn't rightly know what to say  because i didn't know whether the boat
would be coming up the river or down   but i go a good deal on instinct 
and my instinct said she would be coming up from down towards orleans 
that didn't help me much  though  for i didn't know the names of bars
down that way   i see i'd got to invent a bar  or forget the name of the
one we got aground on or now i struck an idea  and fetched it out 

 it warn't the grounding that didn't keep us back but a little   we
blowed out a cylinder-head  

 good gracious! anybody hurt  

 no'm   killed a nigger  

 well  it's lucky  because sometimes people do get hurt   two years ago
last christmas your uncle silas was coming up from newrleans on the old
lally rook  and she blowed out a cylinder-head and crippled a man   and i
think he died afterwards   he was a baptist   your uncle silas knowed a
family in baton rouge that knowed his people very well   yes  i remember
now  he did die   mortification set in  and they had to amputate him 
but it didn't save him   yes  it was mortification that was it   he
turned blue all over  and died in the hope of a glorious resurrection 
they say he was a sight to look at   your uncle's been up to the town
every day to fetch you  and he's gone again  not more'n an hour ago 
he'll be back any minute now  you must a met him on the road  didn't
you  oldish man  with a  

 no  i didn't see nobody  aunt sally   the boat landed just at daylight 
and i left my baggage on the wharf-boat and went looking around the town
and out a piece in the country  to put in the time and not get here too
soon  and so i come down the back way  

 who'd you give the baggage to  

 nobody  

 why  child  it 'll be stole! 

 not where i hid it i reckon it won't   i says 

 how'd you get your breakfast so early on the boat  

it was kinder thin ice  but i says 

 the captain see me standing around  and told me i better have something
to eat before i went ashore  so he took me in the texas to the officers'
lunch  and give me all i wanted  

i was getting so uneasy i couldn't listen good   i had my mind on the
children all the time  i wanted to get them out to one side and pump them
a little  and find out who i was   but i couldn't get no show  mrs 
phelps kept it up and run on so   pretty soon she made the cold chills
streak all down my back  because she says 

 but here we're a-running on this way  and you hain't told me a word
about sis  nor any of them   now i'll rest my works a little  and you
start up yourn  just tell me everything tell me all about 'm all every
one of 'm  and how they are  and what they're doing  and what they told
you to tell me  and every last thing you can think of  

well  i see i was up a stump and up it good   providence had stood by me
this fur all right  but i was hard and tight aground now   i see it
warn't a bit of use to try to go ahead i'd got to throw up my hand   so
i says to myself  here's another place where i got to resk the truth   i
opened my mouth to begin  but she grabbed me and hustled me in behind the
bed  and says 

 here he comes!  stick your head down lower there  that'll do  you can't
be seen now   don't you let on you're here   i'll play a joke on him 
children  don't you say a word  

i see i was in a fix now   but it warn't no use to worry  there warn't
nothing to do but just hold still  and try and be ready to stand from
under when the lightning struck 

i had just one little glimpse of the old gentleman when he come in  then
the bed hid him   mrs  phelps she jumps for him  and says 

 has he come  

 no   says her husband 

 good-ness gracious!  she says   what in the warld can have become of
him  

 i can't imagine   says the old gentleman   and i must say it makes me
dreadful uneasy  

 uneasy!  she says   i'm ready to go distracted!  he must a come  and
you've missed him along the road   i know it's so something tells me
so  

 why  sally  i couldn't miss him along the road you know that  

 but oh  dear  dear  what will sis say!  he must a come!  you must a
missed him   he  

 oh  don't distress me any more'n i'm already distressed   i don't know
what in the world to make of it   i'm at my wit's end  and i don't mind
acknowledging 't i'm right down scared   but there's no hope that he's
come  for he couldn't come and me miss him   sally  it's terrible just
terrible something's happened to the boat  sure! 

 why  silas!  look yonder! up the road! ain't that somebody coming  

he sprung to the window at the head of the bed  and that give mrs  phelps
the chance she wanted   she stooped down quick at the foot of the bed and
give me a pull  and out i come  and when he turned back from the window
there she stood  a-beaming and a-smiling like a house afire  and i
standing pretty meek and sweaty alongside   the old gentleman stared  and
says 

 why  who's that  

 who do you reckon 't is  

 i hain't no idea   who is it  

 it's tom sawyer! 

by jings  i most slumped through the floor!  but there warn't no time to
swap knives  the old man grabbed me by the hand and shook  and kept on
shaking  and all the time how the woman did dance around and laugh and
cry  and then how they both did fire off questions about sid  and mary 
and the rest of the tribe 

but if they was joyful  it warn't nothing to what i was  for it was like
being born again  i was so glad to find out who i was   well  they froze
to me for two hours  and at last  when my chin was so tired it couldn't
hardly go any more  i had told them more about my family i mean the
sawyer family than ever happened to any six sawyer families   and i
explained all about how we blowed out a cylinder-head at the mouth of
white river  and it took us three days to fix it   which was all right 
and worked first-rate  because they didn't know but what it would take
three days to fix it   if i'd a called it a bolthead it would a done just
as well 

now i was feeling pretty comfortable all down one side  and pretty
uncomfortable all up the other   being tom sawyer was easy and
comfortable  and it stayed easy and comfortable till by and by i hear a
steamboat coughing along down the river   then i says to myself  s'pose
tom sawyer comes down on that boat   and s'pose he steps in here any
minute  and sings out my name before i can throw him a wink to keep
quiet 

well  i couldn't have it that way  it wouldn't do at all   i must go up
the road and waylay him   so i told the folks i reckoned i would go up to
the town and fetch down my baggage   the old gentleman was for going
along with me  but i said no  i could drive the horse myself  and i
druther he wouldn't take no trouble about me 




so i started for town in the wagon  and when i was half-way i see a wagon
coming  and sure enough it was tom sawyer  and i stopped and waited till
he come along   i says  hold on!  and it stopped alongside  and his mouth
opened up like a trunk  and stayed so  and he swallowed two or three
times like a person that's got a dry throat  and then says 

 i hain't ever done you no harm   you know that   so  then  what you want
to come back and ha'nt me for  

i says 

 i hain't come back i hain't been gone  

when he heard my voice it righted him up some  but he warn't quite
satisfied yet   he says 

 don't you play nothing on me  because i wouldn't on you   honest injun 
you ain't a ghost  

 honest injun  i ain't   i says 

 well i i well  that ought to settle it  of course  but i can't
somehow seem to understand it no way   looky here  warn't you ever
murdered at all  

 no   i warn't ever murdered at all i played it on them   you come in
here and feel of me if you don't believe me  

so he done it  and it satisfied him  and he was that glad to see me again
he didn't know what to do   and he wanted to know all about it right off 
because it was a grand adventure  and mysterious  and so it hit him where
he lived   but i said  leave it alone till by and by  and told his driver
to wait  and we drove off a little piece  and i told him the kind of a
fix i was in  and what did he reckon we better do   he said  let him
alone a minute  and don't disturb him   so he thought and thought  and
pretty soon he says 

 it's all right  i've got it   take my trunk in your wagon  and let on
it's your'n  and you turn back and fool along slow  so as to get to the
house about the time you ought to  and i'll go towards town a piece  and
take a fresh start  and get there a quarter or a half an hour after you 
and you needn't let on to know me at first  

i says 

 all right  but wait a minute   there's one more thing a thing that
nobody don't know but me   and that is  there's a nigger here that i'm
a-trying to steal out of slavery  and his name is jim old miss watson's
jim  

he says 

 what!  why  jim is  

he stopped and went to studying   i says 

 i know what you'll say   you'll say it's dirty  low-down business  but
what if it is   i'm low down  and i'm a-going to steal him  and i want
you keep mum and not let on   will you  

his eye lit up  and he says 

 i'll help you steal him! 

well  i let go all holts then  like i was shot   it was the most
astonishing speech i ever heard and i'm bound to say tom sawyer fell
considerable in my estimation   only i couldn't believe it   tom sawyer a
nigger-stealer!

 oh  shucks!   i says   you're joking  

 i ain't joking  either  

 well  then   i says   joking or no joking  if you hear anything said
about a runaway nigger  don't forget to remember that you don't know
nothing about him  and i don't know nothing about him  

then we took the trunk and put it in my wagon  and he drove off his way
and i drove mine   but of course i forgot all about driving slow on
accounts of being glad and full of thinking  so i got home a heap too
quick for that length of a trip   the old gentleman was at the door  and
he says 

 why  this is wonderful!  whoever would a thought it was in that mare to
do it   i wish we'd a timed her   and she hain't sweated a hair not a
hair  it's wonderful   why  i wouldn't take a hundred dollars for that
horse now i wouldn't  honest  and yet i'd a sold her for fifteen
before  and thought 'twas all she was worth  

that's all he said   he was the innocentest  best old soul i ever see 
but it warn't surprising  because he warn't only just a farmer  he was a
preacher  too  and had a little one-horse log church down back of the
plantation  which he built it himself at his own expense  for a church
and schoolhouse  and never charged nothing for his preaching  and it was
worth it  too   there was plenty other farmer-preachers like that  and
done the same way  down south 

in about half an hour tom's wagon drove up to the front stile  and aunt
sally she see it through the window  because it was only about fifty
yards  and says 

 why  there's somebody come!  i wonder who 'tis   why  i do believe it's
a stranger   jimmy  (that's one of the children)  run and tell lize to
put on another plate for dinner  

everybody made a rush for the front door  because  of course  a stranger
don't come every year  and so he lays over the yaller-fever  for
interest  when he does come   tom was over the stile and starting for the
house  the wagon was spinning up the road for the village  and we was all
bunched in the front door   tom had his store clothes on  and an
audience and that was always nuts for tom sawyer   in them circumstances
it warn't no trouble to him to throw in an amount of style that was
suitable   he warn't a boy to meeky along up that yard like a sheep  no 
he come ca'm and important  like the ram   when he got a-front of us he
lifts his hat ever so gracious and dainty  like it was the lid of a box
that had butterflies asleep in it and he didn't want to disturb them  and
says 

 mr  archibald nichols  i presume  

 no  my boy   says the old gentleman   i'm sorry to say 't your driver
has deceived you  nichols's place is down a matter of three mile more 
come in  come in  

tom he took a look back over his shoulder  and says   too late he's out
of sight  

 yes  he's gone  my son  and you must come in and eat your dinner with
us  and then we'll hitch up and take you down to nichols's  

 oh  i can't make you so much trouble  i couldn't think of it   i'll walk
 i don't mind the distance  

 but we won't let you walk it wouldn't be southern hospitality to do it 
come right in  

 oh  do   says aunt sally   it ain't a bit of trouble to us  not a bit in
the world   you must stay   it's a long  dusty three mile  and we can't
let you walk   and  besides  i've already told 'em to put on another
plate when i see you coming  so you mustn't disappoint us   come right in
and make yourself at home  

so tom he thanked them very hearty and handsome  and let himself be
persuaded  and come in  and when he was in he said he was a stranger from
hicksville  ohio  and his name was william thompson and he made another
bow 

well  he run on  and on  and on  making up stuff about hicksville and
everybody in it he could invent  and i getting a little nervious  and
wondering how this was going to help me out of my scrape  and at last 
still talking along  he reached over and kissed aunt sally right on the
mouth  and then settled back again in his chair comfortable  and was
going on talking  but she jumped up and wiped it off with the back of her
hand  and says 

 you owdacious puppy! 

he looked kind of hurt  and says 

 i'm surprised at you  m'am  

 you're s'rp why  what do you reckon i am   i've a good notion to take
and say  what do you mean by kissing me  

he looked kind of humble  and says 

 i didn't mean nothing  m'am   i didn't mean no harm   i i thought
you'd like it  

 why  you born fool!   she took up the spinning stick  and it looked like
it was all she could do to keep from giving him a crack with it    what
made you think i'd like it  

 well  i don't know   only  they they told me you would  

 they told you i would   whoever told you's another lunatic   i never
heard the beat of it   who's they  

 why  everybody   they all said so  m'am  

it was all she could do to hold in  and her eyes snapped  and her fingers
worked like she wanted to scratch him  and she says 

 who's 'everybody'   out with their names  or ther'll be an idiot short  

he got up and looked distressed  and fumbled his hat  and says 

 i'm sorry  and i warn't expecting it   they told me to   they all told
me to   they all said  kiss her  and said she'd like it   they all said
it every one of them   but i'm sorry  m'am  and i won't do it no more
 i won't  honest  

 you won't  won't you   well  i sh'd reckon you won't! 

 no'm  i'm honest about it  i won't ever do it again till you ask me  

 till i ask you!  well  i never see the beat of it in my born days!  i
lay you'll be the methusalem-numskull of creation before ever i ask you
 or the likes of you  

 well   he says   it does surprise me so   i can't make it out  somehow 
they said you would  and i thought you would   but   he stopped and
looked around slow  like he wished he could run across a friendly eye
somewheres  and fetched up on the old gentleman's  and says   didn't you
think she'd like me to kiss her  sir  

 why  no  i i well  no  i b'lieve i didn't  

then he looks on around the same way to me  and says 

 tom  didn't you think aunt sally 'd open out her arms and say  'sid
sawyer ' 

 my land!  she says  breaking in and jumping for him   you impudent young
rascal  to fool a body so   and was going to hug him  but he fended her
off  and says 

 no  not till you've asked me first  

so she didn't lose no time  but asked him  and hugged him and kissed him
over and over again  and then turned him over to the old man  and he took
what was left   and after they got a little quiet again she says 

 why  dear me  i never see such a surprise   we warn't looking for you at
all  but only tom   sis never wrote to me about anybody coming but him  

 it's because it warn't intended for any of us to come but tom   he says 
 but i begged and begged  and at the last minute she let me come  too 
so  coming down the river  me and tom thought it would be a first-rate
surprise for him to come here to the house first  and for me to by and by
tag along and drop in  and let on to be a stranger   but it was a
mistake  aunt sally   this ain't no healthy place for a stranger to
come  

 no not impudent whelps  sid   you ought to had your jaws boxed  i
hain't been so put out since i don't know when   but i don't care  i
don't mind the terms i'd be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to
have you here  well  to think of that performance!  i don't deny it  i
was most putrified with astonishment when you give me that smack  

we had dinner out in that broad open passage betwixt the house and the
kitchen  and there was things enough on that table for seven families
 and all hot  too  none of your flabby  tough meat that's laid in a
cupboard in a damp cellar all night and tastes like a hunk of old cold
cannibal in the morning   uncle silas he asked a pretty long blessing
over it  but it was worth it  and it didn't cool it a bit  neither  the
way i've seen them kind of interruptions do lots of times   there was a
considerable good deal of talk all the afternoon  and me and tom was on
the lookout all the time  but it warn't no use  they didn't happen to say
nothing about any runaway nigger  and we was afraid to try to work up to
it   but at supper  at night  one of the little boys says 

 pa  mayn't tom and sid and me go to the show  

 no   says the old man   i reckon there ain't going to be any  and you
couldn't go if there was  because the runaway nigger told burton and me
all about that scandalous show  and burton said he would tell the people 
so i reckon they've drove the owdacious loafers out of town before this
time  

so there it was! but i couldn't help it   tom and me was to sleep in the
same room and bed  so  being tired  we bid good-night and went up to bed
right after supper  and clumb out of the window and down the
lightning-rod  and shoved for the town  for i didn't believe anybody was
going to give the king and the duke a hint  and so if i didn't hurry up
and give them one they'd get into trouble sure 

on the road tom he told me all about how it was reckoned i was murdered 
and how pap disappeared pretty soon  and didn't come back no more  and
what a stir there was when jim run away  and i told tom all about our
royal nonesuch rapscallions  and as much of the raft voyage as i had time
to  and as we struck into the town and up through the here comes a
raging rush of people with torches  and an awful whooping and yelling 
and banging tin pans and blowing horns  and we jumped to one side to let
them go by  and as they went by i see they had the king and the duke
astraddle of a rail that is  i knowed it was the king and the duke 
though they was all over tar and feathers  and didn't look like nothing
in the world that was human just looked like a couple of monstrous big
soldier-plumes   well  it made me sick to see it  and i was sorry for
them poor pitiful rascals  it seemed like i couldn't ever feel any
hardness against them any more in the world   it was a dreadful thing to
see   human beings can be awful cruel to one another 

we see we was too late couldn't do no good   we asked some stragglers
about it  and they said everybody went to the show looking very innocent 
and laid low and kept dark till the poor old king was in the middle of
his cavortings on the stage  then somebody give a signal  and the house
rose up and went for them 

so we poked along back home  and i warn't feeling so brash as i was
before  but kind of ornery  and humble  and to blame  somehow though i
hadn't done nothing   but that's always the way  it don't make no
difference whether you do right or wrong  a person's conscience ain't got
no sense  and just goes for him anyway   if i had a yaller dog that
didn't know no more than a person's conscience does i would pison him 
it takes up more room than all the rest of a person's insides  and yet
ain't no good  nohow   tom sawyer he says the same 




we stopped talking  and got to thinking   by and by tom says 

 looky here  huck  what fools we are to not think of it before!  i bet i
know where jim is  

 no!  where  

 in that hut down by the ash-hopper   why  looky here   when we was at
dinner  didn't you see a nigger man go in there with some vittles  

 yes  

 what did you think the vittles was for  

 for a dog  

 so 'd i  well  it wasn't for a dog  

 why  

 because part of it was watermelon  

 so it was i noticed it   well  it does beat all that i never thought
about a dog not eating watermelon   it shows how a body can see and don't
see at the same time  

 well  the nigger unlocked the padlock when he went in  and he locked it
again when he came out   he fetched uncle a key about the time we got up
from table same key  i bet   watermelon shows man  lock shows prisoner 
and it ain't likely there's two prisoners on such a little plantation 
and where the people's all so kind and good   jim's the prisoner   all
right i'm glad we found it out detective fashion  i wouldn't give
shucks for any other way   now you work your mind  and study out a plan
to steal jim  and i will study out one  too  and we'll take the one we
like the best  

what a head for just a boy to have!  if i had tom sawyer's head i
wouldn't trade it off to be a duke  nor mate of a steamboat  nor clown in
a circus  nor nothing i can think of   i went to thinking out a plan  but
only just to be doing something  i knowed very well where the right plan
was going to come from   pretty soon tom says 

 ready  

 yes   i says 

 all right bring it out  

 my plan is this   i says    we can easy find out if it's jim in there 
then get up my canoe to-morrow night  and fetch my raft over from the
island   then the first dark night that comes steal the key out of the
old man's britches after he goes to bed  and shove off down the river on
the raft with jim  hiding daytimes and running nights  the way me and jim
used to do before   wouldn't that plan work  

 work   why  cert'nly it would work  like rats a-fighting   but it's too
blame' simple  there ain't nothing to it   what's the good of a plan that
ain't no more trouble than that   it's as mild as goose-milk   why  huck 
it wouldn't make no more talk than breaking into a soap factory  

i never said nothing  because i warn't expecting nothing different  but i
knowed mighty well that whenever he got his plan ready it wouldn't have
none of them objections to it 

and it didn't   he told me what it was  and i see in a minute it was
worth fifteen of mine for style  and would make jim just as free a man as
mine would  and maybe get us all killed besides   so i was satisfied  and
said we would waltz in on it   i needn't tell what it was here  because i
knowed it wouldn't stay the way  it was   i knowed he would be changing
it around every which way as we went along  and heaving in new
bullinesses wherever he got a chance   and that is what he done 

well  one thing was dead sure  and that was that tom sawyer was in
earnest  and was actuly going to help steal that nigger out of slavery 
that was the thing that was too many for me   here was a boy that was
respectable and well brung up  and had a character to lose  and folks at
home that had characters  and he was bright and not leather-headed  and
knowing and not ignorant  and not mean  but kind  and yet here he was 
without any more pride  or rightness  or feeling  than to stoop to this
business  and make himself a shame  and his family a shame  before
everybody   i couldn't understand it no way at all   it was outrageous 
and i knowed i ought to just up and tell him so  and so be his true
friend  and let him quit the thing right where he was and save himself 
and i did start to tell him  but he shut me up  and says 

 don't you reckon i know what i'm about   don't i generly know what i'm
about  

 yes  

 didn't i say i was going to help steal the nigger  

 yes  

 well  then  

that's all he said  and that's all i said   it warn't no use to say any
more  because when he said he'd do a thing  he always done it   but i
couldn't make out how he was willing to go into this thing  so i just let
it go  and never bothered no more about it   if he was bound to have it
so  i couldn't help it 

when we got home the house was all dark and still  so we went on down to
the hut by the ash-hopper for to examine it   we went through the yard so
as to see what the hounds would do   they knowed us  and didn't make no
more noise than country dogs is always doing when anything comes by in
the night   when we got to the cabin we took a look at the front and the
two sides  and on the side i warn't acquainted with which was the north
side we found a square window-hole  up tolerable high  with just one
stout board nailed across it   i says 

 here's the ticket   this hole's big enough for jim to get through if we
wrench off the board  

tom says 

 it's as simple as tit-tat-toe  three-in-a-row  and as easy as playing
hooky   i should hope we can find a way that's a little more complicated
than that  huck finn  

 well  then   i says   how 'll it do to saw him out  the way i done
before i was murdered that time  

 that's more like   he says    it's real mysterious  and troublesome  and
good   he says   but i bet we can find a way that's twice as long   there
ain't no hurry  le's keep on looking around  

betwixt the hut and the fence  on the back side  was a lean-to that
joined the hut at the eaves  and was made out of plank   it was as long
as the hut  but narrow only about six foot wide   the door to it was at
the south end  and was padlocked   tom he went to the soap-kettle and
searched around  and fetched back the iron thing they lift the lid with 
so he took it and prized out one of the staples   the chain fell down 
and we opened the door and went in  and shut it  and struck a match  and
see the shed was only built against a cabin and hadn't no connection with
it  and there warn't no floor to the shed  nor nothing in it but some old
rusty played-out hoes and spades and picks and a crippled plow   the
match went out  and so did we  and shoved in the staple again  and the
door was locked as good as ever  tom was joyful   he says 

 now we're all right   we'll dig him out   it 'll take about a week! 

then we started for the house  and i went in the back door you only have
to pull a buckskin latch-string  they don't fasten the doors but that
warn't romantical enough for tom sawyer  no way would do him but he must
climb up the lightning-rod   but after he got up half way about three
times  and missed fire and fell every time  and the last time most busted
his brains out  he thought he'd got to give it up  but after he was
rested he allowed he would give her one more turn for luck  and this time
he made the trip 

in the morning we was up at break of day  and down to the nigger cabins
to pet the dogs and make friends with the nigger that fed jim if it was
jim that was being fed   the niggers was just getting through breakfast
and starting for the fields  and jim's nigger was piling up a tin pan
with bread and meat and things  and whilst the others was leaving  the
key come from the house 

this nigger had a good-natured  chuckle-headed face  and his wool was all
tied up in little bunches with thread   that was to keep witches off   he
said the witches was pestering him awful these nights  and making him see
all kinds of strange things  and hear all kinds of strange words and
noises  and he didn't believe he was ever witched so long before in his
life   he got so worked up  and got to running on so about his troubles 
he forgot all about what he'd been a-going to do   so tom says 

 what's the vittles for   going to feed the dogs  

the nigger kind of smiled around gradually over his face  like when you
heave a brickbat in a mud-puddle  and he says 

 yes  mars sid  a dog   cur'us dog  too   does you want to go en look at
'im  

 yes  

i hunched tom  and whispers 

 you going  right here in the daybreak   that warn't the plan  

 no  it warn't  but it's the plan now  

so  drat him  we went along  but i didn't like it much   when we got in
we couldn't hardly see anything  it was so dark  but jim was there  sure
enough  and could see us  and he sings out 

 why  huck!  en good lan'! ain' dat misto tom  

i just knowed how it would be  i just expected it   i didn't know nothing
to do  and if i had i couldn't a done it  because that nigger busted in
and says 

 why  de gracious sakes! do he know you genlmen  

we could see pretty well now   tom he looked at the nigger  steady and
kind of wondering  and says 

 does who know us  

 why  dis-yer runaway nigger  

 i don't reckon he does  but what put that into your head  

 what put it dar   didn' he jis' dis minute sing out like he knowed you  

tom says  in a puzzled-up kind of way 

 well  that's mighty curious   who sung out  when did he sing out   what
did he sing out   and turns to me  perfectly ca'm  and says   did you
hear anybody sing out  

of course there warn't nothing to be said but the one thing  so i says 

 no  i ain't heard nobody say nothing  

then he turns to jim  and looks him over like he never see him before 
and says 

 did you sing out  

 no  sah   says jim   i hain't said nothing  sah  

 not a word  

 no  sah  i hain't said a word  

 did you ever see us before  

 no  sah  not as i knows on  

so tom turns to the nigger  which was looking wild and distressed  and
says  kind of severe 

 what do you reckon's the matter with you  anyway   what made you think
somebody sung out  

 oh  it's de dad-blame' witches  sah  en i wisht i was dead  i do   dey's
awluz at it  sah  en dey do mos' kill me  dey sk'yers me so   please to
don't tell nobody 'bout it sah  er ole mars silas he'll scole me  'kase
he say dey ain't no witches   i jis' wish to goodness he was heah now
 den what would he say!  i jis' bet he couldn' fine no way to git aroun'
it dis time   but it's awluz jis' so  people dat's sot  stays sot  dey
won't look into noth'n'en fine it out f'r deyselves  en when you fine it
out en tell um 'bout it  dey doan' b'lieve you  

tom give him a dime  and said we wouldn't tell nobody  and told him to
buy some more thread to tie up his wool with  and then looks at jim  and
says 

 i wonder if uncle silas is going to hang this nigger   if i was to catch
a nigger that was ungrateful enough to run away  i wouldn't give him up 
i'd hang him    and whilst the nigger stepped to the door to look at the
dime and bite it to see if it was good  he whispers to jim and says 

 don't ever let on to know us   and if you hear any digging going on
nights  it's us  we're going to set you free  

jim only had time to grab us by the hand and squeeze it  then the nigger
come back  and we said we'd come again some time if the nigger wanted us
to  and he said he would  more particular if it was dark  because the
witches went for him mostly in the dark  and it was good to have folks
around then 




it would be most an hour yet till breakfast  so we left and struck down
into the woods  because tom said we got to have some light to see how to
dig by  and a lantern makes too much  and might get us into trouble  what
we must have was a lot of them rotten chunks that's called fox-fire  and
just makes a soft kind of a glow when you lay them in a dark place   we
fetched an armful and hid it in the weeds  and set down to rest  and tom
says  kind of dissatisfied 

 blame it  this whole thing is just as easy and awkward as it can be 
and so it makes it so rotten difficult to get up a difficult plan   there
ain't no watchman to be drugged now there ought to be a watchman   there
ain't even a dog to give a sleeping-mixture to   and there's jim chained
by one leg  with a ten-foot chain  to the leg of his bed   why  all you
got to do is to lift up the bedstead and slip off the chain   and uncle
silas he trusts everybody  sends the key to the punkin-headed nigger  and
don't send nobody to watch the nigger   jim could a got out of that
window-hole before this  only there wouldn't be no use trying to travel
with a ten-foot chain on his leg   why  drat it  huck  it's the stupidest
arrangement i ever see  you got to invent all the difficulties   well  we
can't help it  we got to do the best we can with the materials we've got 
anyhow  there's one thing there's more honor in getting him out
through a lot of difficulties and dangers  where there warn't one of them
furnished to you by the people who it was their duty to furnish them  and
you had to contrive them all out of your own head   now look at just that
one thing of the lantern   when you come down to the cold facts  we
simply got to let on that a lantern's resky   why  we could work with a
torchlight procession if we wanted to  i believe   now  whilst i think of
it  we got to hunt up something to make a saw out of the first chance we
get  

 what do we want of a saw  

 what do we want of a saw   hain't we got to saw the leg of jim's bed
off  so as to get the chain loose  

 why  you just said a body could lift up the bedstead and slip the chain
off  

 well  if that ain't just like you  huck finn   you can get up the
infant-schooliest ways of going at a thing   why  hain't you ever read
any books at all  baron trenck  nor casanova  nor benvenuto chelleeny 
nor henri iv   nor none of them heroes   who ever heard of getting a
prisoner loose in such an old-maidy way as that   no  the way all the
best authorities does is to saw the bed-leg in two  and leave it just so 
and swallow the sawdust  so it can't be found  and put some dirt and
grease around the sawed place so the very keenest seneskal can't see no
sign of it's being sawed  and thinks the bed-leg is perfectly sound 
then  the night you're ready  fetch the leg a kick  down she goes  slip
off your chain  and there you are   nothing to do but hitch your rope
ladder to the battlements  shin down it  break your leg in the moat
 because a rope ladder is nineteen foot too short  you know and there's
your horses and your trusty vassles  and they scoop you up and fling you
across a saddle  and away you go to your native langudoc  or navarre  or
wherever it is  it's gaudy  huck   i wish there was a moat to this cabin 
if we get time  the night of the escape  we'll dig one  

i says 

 what do we want of a moat when we're going to snake him out from under
the cabin  

but he never heard me   he had forgot me and everything else   he had his
chin in his hand  thinking   pretty soon he sighs and shakes his head 
then sighs again  and says 

 no  it wouldn't do there ain't necessity enough for it  

 for what    i says 

 why  to saw jim's leg off   he says 

 good land!   i says   why  there ain't no necessity for it   and what
would you want to saw his leg off for  anyway  

 well  some of the best authorities has done it   they couldn't get the
chain off  so they just cut their hand off and shoved   and a leg would
be better still   but we got to let that go   there ain't necessity
enough in this case  and  besides  jim's a nigger  and wouldn't
understand the reasons for it  and how it's the custom in europe  so
we'll let it go   but there's one thing he can have a rope ladder  we
can tear up our sheets and make him a rope ladder easy enough   and we
can send it to him in a pie  it's mostly done that way   and i've et
worse pies  

 why  tom sawyer  how you talk   i says   jim ain't got no use for a rope
ladder  

 he has got use for it   how you talk  you better say  you don't know
nothing about it   he's got to have a rope ladder  they all do  

 what in the nation can he do with it  

 do with it   he can hide it in his bed  can't he   that's what they all
do  and he's got to  too   huck  you don't ever seem to want to do
anything that's regular  you want to be starting something fresh all the
time  s'pose he don't do nothing with it  ain't it there in his bed  for
a clew  after he's gone  and don't you reckon they'll want clews   of
course they will   and you wouldn't leave them any   that would be a
pretty howdy-do  wouldn't it!  i never heard of such a thing  

 well   i says   if it's in the regulations  and he's got to have it  all
right  let him have it  because i don't wish to go back on no
regulations  but there's one thing  tom sawyer if we go to tearing up
our sheets to make jim a rope ladder  we're going to get into trouble
with aunt sally  just as sure as you're born   now  the way i look at it 
a hickry-bark ladder don't cost nothing  and don't waste nothing  and is
just as good to load up a pie with  and hide in a straw tick  as any rag
ladder you can start  and as for jim  he ain't had no experience  and so
he don't care what kind of a  

 oh  shucks  huck finn  if i was as ignorant as you i'd keep still
 that's what i'd do   who ever heard of a state prisoner escaping by a
hickry-bark ladder   why  it's perfectly ridiculous  

 well  all right  tom  fix it your own way  but if you'll take my advice 
you'll let me borrow a sheet off of the clothesline  

he said that would do   and that gave him another idea  and he says 

 borrow a shirt  too  

 what do we want of a shirt  tom  

 want it for jim to keep a journal on  

 journal your granny jim can't write  

 s'pose he can't write he can make marks on the shirt  can't he  if we
make him a pen out of an old pewter spoon or a piece of an old iron
barrel-hoop  

 why  tom  we can pull a feather out of a goose and make him a better
one  and quicker  too  

 prisoners don't have geese running around the donjon-keep to pull pens
out of  you muggins   they always make their pens out of the hardest 
toughest  troublesomest piece of old brass candlestick or something like
that they can get their hands on  and it takes them weeks and weeks and
months and months to file it out  too  because they've got to do it by
rubbing it on the wall   they wouldn't use a goose-quill if they had it 
it ain't regular  

 well  then  what'll we make him the ink out of  

 many makes it out of iron-rust and tears  but that's the common sort and
women  the best authorities uses their own blood   jim can do that  and
when he wants to send any little common ordinary mysterious message to
let the world know where he's captivated  he can write it on the bottom
of a tin plate with a fork and throw it out of the window   the iron mask
always done that  and it's a blame' good way  too  

 jim ain't got no tin plates   they feed him in a pan  

 that ain't nothing  we can get him some  

 can't nobody read his plates  

 that ain't got anything to do with it  huck finn   all he's got to do is
to write on the plate and throw it out   you don't have to be able to
read it  why  half the time you can't read anything a prisoner writes on
a tin plate  or anywhere else  

 well  then  what's the sense in wasting the plates  

 why  blame it all  it ain't the prisoner's plates  

 but it's somebody's plates  ain't it  

 well  spos'n it is   what does the prisoner care whose  

he broke off there  because we heard the breakfast-horn blowing   so we
cleared out for the house 

along during the morning i borrowed a sheet and a white shirt off of the
clothes-line  and i found an old sack and put them in it  and we went
down and got the fox-fire  and put that in too   i called it borrowing 
because that was what pap always called it  but tom said it warn't
borrowing  it was stealing   he said we was representing prisoners  and
prisoners don't care how they get a thing so they get it  and nobody
don't blame them for it  either   it ain't no crime in a prisoner to
steal the thing he needs to get away with  tom said  it's his right  and
so  as long as we was representing a prisoner  we had a perfect right to
steal anything on this place we had the least use for to get ourselves
out of prison with   he said if we warn't prisoners it would be a very
different thing  and nobody but a mean  ornery person would steal when he
warn't a prisoner   so we allowed we would steal everything there was
that come handy   and yet he made a mighty fuss  one day  after that 
when i stole a watermelon out of the nigger-patch and eat it  and he made
me go and give the niggers a dime without telling them what it was for 
tom said that what he meant was  we could steal anything we needed  well 
i says  i needed the watermelon   but he said i didn't need it to get out
of prison with  there's where the difference was   he said if i'd a
wanted it to hide a knife in  and smuggle it to jim to kill the seneskal
with  it would a been all right   so i let it go at that  though i
couldn't see no advantage in my representing a prisoner if i got to set
down and chaw over a lot of gold-leaf distinctions like that every time i
see a chance to hog a watermelon 

well  as i was saying  we waited that morning till everybody was settled
down to business  and nobody in sight around the yard  then tom he
carried the sack into the lean-to whilst i stood off a piece to keep
watch   by and by he come out  and we went and set down on the woodpile
to talk   he says 

 everything's all right now except tools  and that's easy fixed  

 tools    i says 

 yes  

 tools for what  

 why  to dig with   we ain't a-going to gnaw him out  are we  

 ain't them old crippled picks and things in there good enough to dig a
nigger out with    i says 

he turns on me  looking pitying enough to make a body cry  and says 

 huck finn  did you ever hear of a prisoner having picks and shovels  and
all the modern conveniences in his wardrobe to dig himself out with   now
i want to ask you if you got any reasonableness in you at all what kind
of a show would that give him to be a hero   why  they might as well lend
him the key and done with it   picks and shovels why  they wouldn't
furnish 'em to a king  

 well  then   i says   if we don't want the picks and shovels  what do we
want  

 a couple of case-knives  

 to dig the foundations out from under that cabin with  

 yes  

 confound it  it's foolish  tom  

 it don't make no difference how foolish it is  it's the right way and
it's the regular way   and there ain't no other way  that ever i heard
of  and i've read all the books that gives any information about these
things  they always dig out with a case-knife and not through dirt  mind
you  generly it's through solid rock   and it takes them weeks and weeks
and weeks  and for ever and ever   why  look at one of them prisoners in
the bottom dungeon of the castle deef  in the harbor of marseilles  that
dug himself out that way  how long was he at it  you reckon  

 i don't know  

 well  guess  

 i don't know   a month and a half  

 thirty-seven year and he come out in china   that's the kind   i wish
the bottom of this fortress was solid rock  

 jim don't know nobody in china  

 what's that got to do with it   neither did that other fellow   but
you're always a-wandering off on a side issue   why can't you stick to
the main point  

 all right i don't care where he comes out  so he comes out  and jim
don't  either  i reckon   but there's one thing  anyway jim's too old to
be dug out with a case-knife   he won't last  

 yes he will last  too   you don't reckon it's going to take thirty-seven
years to dig out through a dirt foundation  do you  

 how long will it take  tom  

 well  we can't resk being as long as we ought to  because it mayn't take
very long for uncle silas to hear from down there by new orleans   he'll
hear jim ain't from there   then his next move will be to advertise jim 
or something like that   so we can't resk being as long digging him out
as we ought to   by rights i reckon we ought to be a couple of years  but
we can't   things being so uncertain  what i recommend is this   that we
really dig right in  as quick as we can  and after that  we can let on 
to ourselves  that we was at it thirty-seven years   then we can snatch
him out and rush him away the first time there's an alarm   yes  i reckon
that 'll be the best way  

 now  there's sense in that   i says    letting on don't cost nothing 
letting on ain't no trouble  and if it's any object  i don't mind letting
on we was at it a hundred and fifty year   it wouldn't strain me none 
after i got my hand in   so i'll mosey along now  and smouch a couple of
case-knives  

 smouch three   he says   we want one to make a saw out of  

 tom  if it ain't unregular and irreligious to sejest it   i says 
 there's an old rusty saw-blade around yonder sticking under the
weather-boarding behind the smoke-house  

he looked kind of weary and discouraged-like  and says 

 it ain't no use to try to learn you nothing  huck   run along and smouch
the knives three of them    so i done it 




as soon as we reckoned everybody was asleep that night we went down the
lightning-rod  and shut ourselves up in the lean-to  and got out our pile
of fox-fire  and went to work   we cleared everything out of the way 
about four or five foot along the middle of the bottom log   tom said we
was right behind jim's bed now  and we'd dig in under it  and when we got
through there couldn't nobody in the cabin ever know there was any hole
there  because jim's counter-pin hung down most to the ground  and you'd
have to raise it up and look under to see the hole   so we dug and dug
with the case-knives till most midnight  and then we was dog-tired  and
our hands was blistered  and yet you couldn't see we'd done anything
hardly   at last i says 

 this ain't no thirty-seven year job  this is a thirty-eight year job 
tom sawyer  

he never said nothing   but he sighed  and pretty soon he stopped
digging  and then for a good little while i knowed that he was thinking 
then he says 

 it ain't no use  huck  it ain't a-going to work   if we was prisoners it
would  because then we'd have as many years as we wanted  and no hurry 
and we wouldn't get but a few minutes to dig  every day  while they was
changing watches  and so our hands wouldn't get blistered  and we could
keep it up right along  year in and year out  and do it right  and the
way it ought to be done   but we can't fool along  we got to rush  we
ain't got no time to spare   if we was to put in another night this way
we'd have to knock off for a week to let our hands get well couldn't
touch a case-knife with them sooner  

 well  then  what we going to do  tom  

 i'll tell you   it ain't right  and it ain't moral  and i wouldn't like
it to get out  but there ain't only just the one way   we got to dig him
out with the picks  and let on it's case-knives  

 now you're talking!   i says   your head gets leveler and leveler all
the time  tom sawyer   i says    picks is the thing  moral or no moral 
and as for me  i don't care shucks for the morality of it  nohow   when i
start in to steal a nigger  or a watermelon  or a sunday-school book  i
ain't no ways particular how it's done so it's done   what i want is my
nigger  or what i want is my watermelon  or what i want is my
sunday-school book  and if a pick's the handiest thing  that's the thing
i'm a-going to dig that nigger or that watermelon or that sunday-school
book out with  and i don't give a dead rat what the authorities thinks
about it nuther  

 well   he says   there's excuse for picks and letting-on in a case like
this  if it warn't so  i wouldn't approve of it  nor i wouldn't stand by
and see the rules broke because right is right  and wrong is wrong  and
a body ain't got no business doing wrong when he ain't ignorant and knows
better   it might answer for you to dig jim out with a pick  without any
letting on  because you don't know no better  but it wouldn't for me 
because i do know better   gimme a case-knife  

he had his own by him  but i handed him mine   he flung it down  and
says 

 gimme a case-knife  

i didn't know just what to do but then i thought   i scratched around
amongst the old tools  and got a pickaxe and give it to him  and he took
it and went to work  and never said a word 

he was always just that particular   full of principle 

so then i got a shovel  and then we picked and shoveled  turn about  and
made the fur fly   we stuck to it about a half an hour  which was as long
as we could stand up  but we had a good deal of a hole to show for it 
when i got up stairs i looked out at the window and see tom doing his
level best with the lightning-rod  but he couldn't come it  his hands was
so sore   at last he says 

 it ain't no use  it can't be done   what you reckon i better do   can't
you think of no way  

 yes   i says   but i reckon it ain't regular   come up the stairs  and
let on it's a lightning-rod  

so he done it 

next day tom stole a pewter spoon and a brass candlestick in the house 
for to make some pens for jim out of  and six tallow candles  and i hung
around the nigger cabins and laid for a chance  and stole three tin
plates   tom says it wasn't enough  but i said nobody wouldn't ever see
the plates that jim throwed out  because they'd fall in the dog-fennel
and jimpson weeds under the window-hole then we could tote them back and
he could use them over again   so tom was satisfied   then he says 

 now  the thing to study out is  how to get the things to jim  

 take them in through the hole   i says   when we get it done  

he only just looked scornful  and said something about nobody ever heard
of such an idiotic idea  and then he went to studying   by and by he said
he had ciphered out two or three ways  but there warn't no need to decide
on any of them yet   said we'd got to post jim first 

that night we went down the lightning-rod a little after ten  and took
one of the candles along  and listened under the window-hole  and heard
jim snoring  so we pitched it in  and it didn't wake him   then we
whirled in with the pick and shovel  and in about two hours and a half
the job was done   we crept in under jim's bed and into the cabin  and
pawed around and found the candle and lit it  and stood over jim awhile 
and found him looking hearty and healthy  and then we woke him up gentle
and gradual   he was so glad to see us he most cried  and called us
honey  and all the pet names he could think of  and was for having us
hunt up a cold-chisel to cut the chain off of his leg with right away 
and clearing out without losing any time   but tom he showed him how
unregular it would be  and set down and told him all about our plans  and
how we could alter them in a minute any time there was an alarm  and not
to be the least afraid  because we would see he got away  sure   so jim
he said it was all right  and we set there and talked over old times
awhile  and then tom asked a lot of questions  and when jim told him
uncle silas come in every day or two to pray with him  and aunt sally
come in to see if he was comfortable and had plenty to eat  and both of
them was kind as they could be  tom says 

 now i know how to fix it   we'll send you some things by them  

i said   don't do nothing of the kind  it's one of the most jackass ideas
i ever struck   but he never paid no attention to me  went right on   it
was his way when he'd got his plans set 

so he told jim how we'd have to smuggle in the rope-ladder pie and other
large things by nat  the nigger that fed him  and he must be on the
lookout  and not be surprised  and not let nat see him open them  and we
would put small things in uncle's coat-pockets and he must steal them
out  and we would tie things to aunt's apron-strings or put them in her
apron-pocket  if we got a chance  and told him what they would be and
what they was for   and told him how to keep a journal on the shirt with
his blood  and all that  he told him everything   jim he couldn't see no
sense in the most of it  but he allowed we was white folks and knowed
better than him  so he was satisfied  and said he would do it all just as
tom said 

jim had plenty corn-cob pipes and tobacco  so we had a right down good
sociable time  then we crawled out through the hole  and so home to bed 
with hands that looked like they'd been chawed   tom was in high spirits 
he said it was the best fun he ever had in his life  and the most
intellectural  and said if he only could see his way to it we would keep
it up all the rest of our lives and leave jim to our children to get out 
for he believed jim would come to like it better and better the more he
got used to it   he said that in that way it could be strung out to as
much as eighty year  and would be the best time on record   and he said
it would make us all celebrated that had a hand in it 

in the morning we went out to the woodpile and chopped up the brass
candlestick into handy sizes  and tom put them and the pewter spoon in
his pocket   then we went to the nigger cabins  and while i got nat's
notice off  tom shoved a piece of candlestick into the middle of a
corn-pone that was in jim's pan  and we went along with nat to see how it
would work  and it just worked noble  when jim bit into it it most mashed
all his teeth out  and there warn't ever anything could a worked better 
tom said so himself  jim he never let on but what it was only just a
piece of rock or something like that that's always getting into bread 
you know  but after that he never bit into nothing but what he jabbed his
fork into it in three or four places first 

and whilst we was a-standing there in the dimmish light  here comes a
couple of the hounds bulging in from under jim's bed  and they kept on
piling in till there was eleven of them  and there warn't hardly room in
there to get your breath   by jings  we forgot to fasten that lean-to
door!  the nigger nat he only just hollered  witches  once  and keeled
over on to the floor amongst the dogs  and begun to groan like he was
dying   tom jerked the door open and flung out a slab of jim's meat  and
the dogs went for it  and in two seconds he was out himself and back
again and shut the door  and i knowed he'd fixed the other door too 
then he went to work on the nigger  coaxing him and petting him  and
asking him if he'd been imagining he saw something again   he raised up 
and blinked his eyes around  and says 

 mars sid  you'll say i's a fool  but if i didn't b'lieve i see most a
million dogs  er devils  er some'n  i wisht i may die right heah in dese
tracks   i did  mos' sholy   mars sid  i felt um i felt um  sah  dey was
all over me   dad fetch it  i jis' wisht i could git my han's on one er
dem witches jis' wunst on'y jis' wunst it's all i'd ast   but mos'ly i
wisht dey'd lemme 'lone  i does  

tom says 

 well  i tell you what i think   what makes them come here just at this
runaway nigger's breakfast-time   it's because they're hungry  that's the
reason   you make them a witch pie  that's the thing for you to do  

 but my lan'  mars sid  how's i gwyne to make 'm a witch pie   i doan'
know how to make it   i hain't ever hearn er sich a thing b'fo'  

 well  then  i'll have to make it myself  

 will you do it  honey  will you   i'll wusshup de groun' und' yo' foot 
i will! 

 all right  i'll do it  seeing it's you  and you've been good to us and
showed us the runaway nigger   but you got to be mighty careful   when we
come around  you turn your back  and then whatever we've put in the pan 
don't you let on you see it at all   and don't you look when jim unloads
the pan something might happen  i don't know what   and above all  don't
you handle the witch-things  

 hannel 'm  mars sid   what is you a-talkin' 'bout   i wouldn' lay de
weight er my finger on um  not f'r ten hund'd thous'n billion dollars  i
wouldn't  




that was all fixed   so then we went away and went to the rubbage-pile in
the back yard  where they keep the old boots  and rags  and pieces of
bottles  and wore-out tin things  and all such truck  and scratched
around and found an old tin washpan  and stopped up the holes as well as
we could  to bake the pie in  and took it down cellar and stole it full
of flour and started for breakfast  and found a couple of shingle-nails
that tom said would be handy for a prisoner to scrabble his name and
sorrows on the dungeon walls with  and dropped one of them in aunt
sally's apron-pocket which was hanging on a chair  and t'other we stuck
in the band of uncle silas's hat  which was on the bureau  because we
heard the children say their pa and ma was going to the runaway nigger's
house this morning  and then went to breakfast  and tom dropped the
pewter spoon in uncle silas's coat-pocket  and aunt sally wasn't come
yet  so we had to wait a little while 

and when she come she was hot and red and cross  and couldn't hardly wait
for the blessing  and then she went to sluicing out coffee with one hand
and cracking the handiest child's head with her thimble with the other 
and says 

 i've hunted high and i've hunted low  and it does beat all what has
become of your other shirt  

my heart fell down amongst my lungs and livers and things  and a hard
piece of corn-crust started down my throat after it and got met on the
road with a cough  and was shot across the table  and took one of the
children in the eye and curled him up like a fishing-worm  and let a cry
out of him the size of a warwhoop  and tom he turned kinder blue around
the gills  and it all amounted to a considerable state of things for
about a quarter of a minute or as much as that  and i would a sold out
for half price if there was a bidder   but after that we was all right
again it was the sudden surprise of it that knocked us so kind of cold 
uncle silas he says 

 it's most uncommon curious  i can't understand it   i know perfectly
well i took it off  because  

 because you hain't got but one on   just listen at the man!  i know you
took it off  and know it by a better way than your wool-gethering memory 
too  because it was on the clo's-line yesterday i see it there myself 
but it's gone  that's the long and the short of it  and you'll just have
to change to a red flann'l one till i can get time to make a new one 
and it 'll be the third i've made in two years   it just keeps a body on
the jump to keep you in shirts  and whatever you do manage to do with 'm
all is more'n i can make out   a body 'd think you would learn to take
some sort of care of 'em at your time of life  

 i know it  sally  and i do try all i can   but it oughtn't to be
altogether my fault  because  you know  i don't see them nor have nothing
to do with them except when they're on me  and i don't believe i've ever
lost one of them off of me  

 well  it ain't your fault if you haven't  silas  you'd a done it if you
could  i reckon   and the shirt ain't all that's gone  nuther   ther's a
spoon gone  and that ain't all   there was ten  and now ther's only nine 
the calf got the shirt  i reckon  but the calf never took the spoon 
that's certain  

 why  what else is gone  sally  

 ther's six candles gone that's what   the rats could a got the candles 
and i reckon they did  i wonder they don't walk off with the whole place 
the way you're always going to stop their holes and don't do it  and if
they warn't fools they'd sleep in your hair  silas you'd never find it
out  but you can't lay the spoon on the rats  and that i know  

 well  sally  i'm in fault  and i acknowledge it  i've been remiss  but i
won't let to-morrow go by without stopping up them holes  

 oh  i wouldn't hurry  next year 'll do   matilda angelina araminta
phelps! 

whack comes the thimble  and the child snatches her claws out of the
sugar-bowl without fooling around any   just then the nigger woman steps
on to the passage  and says 

 missus  dey's a sheet gone  

 a sheet gone!  well  for the land's sake! 

 i'll stop up them holes to-day   says uncle silas  looking sorrowful 

 oh  do shet up! s'pose the rats took the sheet   where's it gone 
lize  

 clah to goodness i hain't no notion  miss' sally   she wuz on de
clo'sline yistiddy  but she done gone   she ain' dah no mo' now  

 i reckon the world is coming to an end   i never see the beat of it in
all my born days   a shirt  and a sheet  and a spoon  and six can  

 missus   comes a young yaller wench   dey's a brass cannelstick miss'n  

 cler out from here  you hussy  er i'll take a skillet to ye! 

well  she was just a-biling   i begun to lay for a chance  i reckoned i
would sneak out and go for the woods till the weather moderated   she
kept a-raging right along  running her insurrection all by herself  and
everybody else mighty meek and quiet  and at last uncle silas  looking
kind of foolish  fishes up that spoon out of his pocket   she stopped 
with her mouth open and her hands up  and as for me  i wished i was in
jeruslem or somewheres  but not long  because she says 

 it's just as i expected   so you had it in your pocket all the time  and
like as not you've got the other things there  too   how'd it get there  

 i reely don't know  sally   he says  kind of apologizing   or you know i
would tell   i was a-studying over my text in acts seventeen before
breakfast  and i reckon i put it in there  not noticing  meaning to put
my testament in  and it must be so  because my testament ain't in  but
i'll go and see  and if the testament is where i had it  i'll know i
didn't put it in  and that will show that i laid the testament down and
took up the spoon  and  

 oh  for the land's sake!  give a body a rest!  go 'long now  the whole
kit and biling of ye  and don't come nigh me again till i've got back my
peace of mind  

i'd a heard her if she'd a said it to herself  let alone speaking it out 
and i'd a got up and obeyed her if i'd a been dead   as we was passing
through the setting-room the old man he took up his hat  and the
shingle-nail fell out on the floor  and he just merely picked it up and
laid it on the mantel-shelf  and never said nothing  and went out   tom
see him do it  and remembered about the spoon  and says 

 well  it ain't no use to send things by him no more  he ain't reliable  
then he says    but he done us a good turn with the spoon  anyway 
without knowing it  and so we'll go and do him one without him knowing
it stop up his rat-holes  

there was a noble good lot of them down cellar  and it took us a whole
hour  but we done the job tight and good and shipshape   then we heard
steps on the stairs  and blowed out our light and hid  and here comes the
old man  with a candle in one hand and a bundle of stuff in t'other 
looking as absent-minded as year before last   he went a mooning around 
first to one rat-hole and then another  till he'd been to them all   then
he stood about five minutes  picking tallow-drip off of his candle and
thinking   then he turns off slow and dreamy towards the stairs  saying 

 well  for the life of me i can't remember when i done it   i could show
her now that i warn't to blame on account of the rats   but never mind
 let it go   i reckon it wouldn't do no good  

and so he went on a-mumbling up stairs  and then we left   he was a
mighty nice old man   and always is 

tom was a good deal bothered about what to do for a spoon  but he said
we'd got to have it  so he took a think   when he had ciphered it out he
told me how we was to do  then we went and waited around the spoon-basket
till we see aunt sally coming  and then tom went to counting the spoons
and laying them out to one side  and i slid one of them up my sleeve  and
tom says 

 why  aunt sally  there ain't but nine spoons yet  

she says 

 go 'long to your play  and don't bother me   i know better  i counted 'm
myself  

 well  i've counted them twice  aunty  and i can't make but nine  

she looked out of all patience  but of course she come to count anybody
would 

 i declare to gracious ther' ain't but nine!  she says    why  what in
the world plague take the things  i'll count 'm again  

so i slipped back the one i had  and when she got done counting  she
says 

 hang the troublesome rubbage  ther's ten now!  and she looked huffy and
bothered both   but tom says 

 why  aunty  i don't think there's ten  

 you numskull  didn't you see me count 'm  

 i know  but  

 well  i'll count 'm again  

so i smouched one  and they come out nine  same as the other time   well 
she was in a tearing way just a-trembling all over  she was so mad   but
she counted and counted till she got that addled she'd start to count in
the basket for a spoon sometimes  and so  three times they come out
right  and three times they come out wrong   then she grabbed up the
basket and slammed it across the house and knocked the cat galley-west 
and she said cle'r out and let her have some peace  and if we come
bothering around her again betwixt that and dinner she'd skin us   so we
had the odd spoon  and dropped it in her apron-pocket whilst she was
a-giving us our sailing orders  and jim got it all right  along with her
shingle nail  before noon   we was very well satisfied with this
business  and tom allowed it was worth twice the trouble it took  because
he said now she couldn't ever count them spoons twice alike again to save
her life  and wouldn't believe she'd counted them right if she did  and
said that after she'd about counted her head off for the next three days
he judged she'd give it up and offer to kill anybody that wanted her to
ever count them any more 

so we put the sheet back on the line that night  and stole one out of her
closet  and kept on putting it back and stealing it again for a couple of
days till she didn't know how many sheets she had any more  and she
didn't care  and warn't a-going to bullyrag the rest of her soul out
about it  and wouldn't count them again not to save her life  she druther
die first 

so we was all right now  as to the shirt and the sheet and the spoon and
the candles  by the help of the calf and the rats and the mixed-up
counting  and as to the candlestick  it warn't no consequence  it would
blow over by and by 

but that pie was a job  we had no end of trouble with that pie   we fixed
it up away down in the woods  and cooked it there  and we got it done at
last  and very satisfactory  too  but not all in one day  and we had to
use up three wash-pans full of flour before we got through  and we got
burnt pretty much all over  in places  and eyes put out with the smoke 
because  you see  we didn't want nothing but a crust  and we couldn't
prop it up right  and she would always cave in   but of course we thought
of the right way at last which was to cook the ladder  too  in the
pie   so then we laid in with jim the second night  and tore up the sheet
all in little strings and twisted them together  and long before daylight
we had a lovely rope that you could a hung a person with   we let on it
took nine months to make it 

and in the forenoon we took it down to the woods  but it wouldn't go into
the pie   being made of a whole sheet  that way  there was rope enough
for forty pies if we'd a wanted them  and plenty left over for soup  or
sausage  or anything you choose   we could a had a whole dinner 

but we didn't need it   all we needed was just enough for the pie 
and so we throwed the rest away   we didn't cook none of the pies in the
wash-pan afraid the solder would melt  but uncle silas he had a noble
brass warming-pan which he thought considerable of  because it belonged
to one of his ancesters with a long wooden handle that come over from
england with william the conqueror in the mayflower or one of them early
ships and was hid away up garret with a lot of other old pots and things
that was valuable  not on account of being any account  because they
warn't  but on account of them being relicts  you know  and we snaked her
out  private  and took her down there  but she failed on the first pies 
because we didn't know how  but she come up smiling on the last one   we
took and lined her with dough  and set her in the coals  and loaded her
up with rag rope  and put on a dough roof  and shut down the lid  and put
hot embers on top  and stood off five foot  with the long handle  cool
and comfortable  and in fifteen minutes she turned out a pie that was a
satisfaction to look at  but the person that et it would want to fetch a
couple of kags of toothpicks along  for if that rope ladder wouldn't
cramp him down to business i don't know nothing what i'm talking about 
and lay him in enough stomach-ache to last him till next time  too 

nat didn't look when we put the witch pie in jim's pan  and we put the
three tin plates in the bottom of the pan under the vittles  and so jim
got everything all right  and as soon as he was by himself he busted into
the pie and hid the rope ladder inside of his straw tick  and scratched
some marks on a tin plate and throwed it out of the window-hole 




making them pens was a distressid tough job  and so was the saw  and jim
allowed the inscription was going to be the toughest of all   that's the
one which the prisoner has to scrabble on the wall   but he had to have
it  tom said he'd got to  there warn't no case of a state prisoner not
scrabbling his inscription to leave behind  and his coat of arms 

 look at lady jane grey   he says   look at gilford dudley  look at old
northumberland!  why  huck  s'pose it is considerble trouble  what you
going to do  how you going to get around it   jim's got to do his
inscription and coat of arms   they all do  

jim says 

 why  mars tom  i hain't got no coat o' arm  i hain't got nuffn but dish
yer ole shirt  en you knows i got to keep de journal on dat  

 oh  you don't understand  jim  a coat of arms is very different  

 well   i says   jim's right  anyway  when he says he ain't got no coat
of arms  because he hain't  

 i reckon i knowed that   tom says   but you bet he'll have one before he
goes out of this because he's going out right  and there ain't going to
be no flaws in his record  

so whilst me and jim filed away at the pens on a brickbat apiece  jim
a-making his'n out of the brass and i making mine out of the spoon  tom
set to work to think out the coat of arms   by and by he said he'd struck
so many good ones he didn't hardly know which to take  but there was one
which he reckoned he'd decide on   he says 

 on the scutcheon we'll have a bend or in the dexter base  a saltire
murrey in the fess  with a dog  couchant  for common charge  and under
his foot a chain embattled  for slavery  with a chevron vert in a chief
engrailed  and three invected lines on a field azure  with the nombril
points rampant on a dancette indented  crest  a runaway nigger  sable 
with his bundle over his shoulder on a bar sinister  and a couple of
gules for supporters  which is you and me  motto  maggiore fretta  minore
otto   got it out of a book means the more haste the less speed  

 geewhillikins   i says   but what does the rest of it mean  

 we ain't got no time to bother over that   he says   we got to dig in
like all git-out  

 well  anyway   i says   what's some of it   what's a fess  

 a fess a fess is you don't need to know what a fess is   i'll show him
how to make it when he gets to it  

 shucks  tom   i says   i think you might tell a person   what's a bar
sinister  

 oh  i don't know   but he's got to have it   all the nobility does  

that was just his way   if it didn't suit him to explain a thing to you 
he wouldn't do it   you might pump at him a week  it wouldn't make no
difference 

he'd got all that coat of arms business fixed  so now he started in to
finish up the rest of that part of the work  which was to plan out a
mournful inscription said jim got to have one  like they all done   he
made up a lot  and wrote them out on a paper  and read them off  so 

1   here a captive heart busted  2   here a poor prisoner  forsook by the
world and friends  fretted his sorrowful life  3   here a lonely heart
broke  and a worn spirit went to its rest  after thirty-seven years of
solitary captivity  4   here  homeless and friendless  after thirty-seven
years of bitter captivity  perished a noble stranger  natural son of
louis xiv 

tom's voice trembled whilst he was reading them  and he most broke down 
when he got done he couldn't no way make up his mind which one for jim to
scrabble on to the wall  they was all so good  but at last he allowed he
would let him scrabble them all on   jim said it would take him a year to
scrabble such a lot of truck on to the logs with a nail  and he didn't
know how to make letters  besides  but tom said he would block them out
for him  and then he wouldn't have nothing to do but just follow the
lines   then pretty soon he says 

 come to think  the logs ain't a-going to do  they don't have log walls
in a dungeon   we got to dig the inscriptions into a rock   we'll fetch a
rock  

jim said the rock was worse than the logs  he said it would take him such
a pison long time to dig them into a rock he wouldn't ever get out   but
tom said he would let me help him do it   then he took a look to see how
me and jim was getting along with the pens   it was most pesky tedious
hard work and slow  and didn't give my hands no show to get well of the
sores  and we didn't seem to make no headway  hardly  so tom says 

 i know how to fix it   we got to have a rock for the coat of arms and
mournful inscriptions  and we can kill two birds with that same rock 
there's a gaudy big grindstone down at the mill  and we'll smouch it  and
carve the things on it  and file out the pens and the saw on it  too  

it warn't no slouch of an idea  and it warn't no slouch of a grindstone
nuther  but we allowed we'd tackle it   it warn't quite midnight yet  so
we cleared out for the mill  leaving jim at work   we smouched the
grindstone  and set out to roll her home  but it was a most nation tough
job  sometimes  do what we could  we couldn't keep her from falling over 
and she come mighty near mashing us every time   tom said she was going
to get one of us  sure  before we got through   we got her half way  and
then we was plumb played out  and most drownded with sweat   we see it
warn't no use  we got to go and fetch jim so he raised up his bed and
slid the chain off of the bed-leg  and wrapt it round and round his neck 
and we crawled out through our hole and down there  and jim and me laid
into that grindstone and walked her along like nothing  and tom
superintended   he could out-superintend any boy i ever see   he knowed
how to do everything 

our hole was pretty big  but it warn't big enough to get the grindstone
through  but jim he took the pick and soon made it big enough   then tom
marked out them things on it with the nail  and set jim to work on them 
with the nail for a chisel and an iron bolt from the rubbage in the
lean-to for a hammer  and told him to work till the rest of his candle
quit on him  and then he could go to bed  and hide the grindstone under
his straw tick and sleep on it   then we helped him fix his chain back on
the bed-leg  and was ready for bed ourselves   but tom thought of
something  and says 

 you got any spiders in here  jim  

 no  sah  thanks to goodness i hain't  mars tom  

 all right  we'll get you some  

 but bless you  honey  i doan' want none   i's afeard un um   i jis' 's
soon have rattlesnakes aroun'  

tom thought a minute or two  and says 

 it's a good idea   and i reckon it's been done   it must a been done  it
stands to reason   yes  it's a prime good idea   where could you keep
it  

 keep what  mars tom  

 why  a rattlesnake  

 de goodness gracious alive  mars tom!  why  if dey was a rattlesnake to
come in heah i'd take en bust right out thoo dat log wall  i would  wid
my head  

why  jim  you wouldn't be afraid of it after a little   you could tame
it  

 tame it! 

 yes easy enough   every animal is grateful for kindness and petting 
and they wouldn't think of hurting a person that pets them   any book
will tell you that   you try that's all i ask  just try for two or three
days  why  you can get him so in a little while that he'll love you  and
sleep with you  and won't stay away from you a minute  and will let you
wrap him round your neck and put his head in your mouth  

 please  mars tom doan' talk so!  i can't stan' it!  he'd let me shove
his head in my mouf fer a favor  hain't it   i lay he'd wait a pow'ful
long time 'fo' i ast him   en mo' en dat  i doan' want him to sleep wid
me  

 jim  don't act so foolish   a prisoner's got to have some kind of a dumb
pet  and if a rattlesnake hain't ever been tried  why  there's more glory
to be gained in your being the first to ever try it than any other way
you could ever think of to save your life  

 why  mars tom  i doan' want no sich glory   snake take 'n bite jim's
chin off  den whah is de glory   no  sah  i doan' want no sich doin's  

 blame it  can't you try   i only want you to try you needn't keep it up
if it don't work  

 but de trouble all done ef de snake bite me while i's a tryin' him 
mars tom  i's willin' to tackle mos' anything 'at ain't onreasonable  but
ef you en huck fetches a rattlesnake in heah for me to tame  i's gwyne to
leave  dat's shore  

 well  then  let it go  let it go  if you're so bull-headed about it   we
can get you some garter-snakes  and you can tie some buttons on their
tails  and let on they're rattlesnakes  and i reckon that 'll have to
do  

 i k'n stan' dem  mars tom  but blame' 'f i couldn' get along widout um 
i tell you dat   i never knowed b'fo' 't was so much bother and trouble
to be a prisoner  

 well  it always is when it's done right   you got any rats around here  

 no  sah  i hain't seed none  

 well  we'll get you some rats  

 why  mars tom  i doan' want no rats   dey's de dadblamedest creturs to
'sturb a body  en rustle roun' over 'im  en bite his feet  when he's
tryin' to sleep  i ever see   no  sah  gimme g'yarter-snakes  'f i's got
to have 'm  but doan' gimme no rats  i hain' got no use f'r um  skasely  

 but  jim  you got to have 'em they all do   so don't make no more fuss
about it   prisoners ain't ever without rats   there ain't no instance of
it   and they train them  and pet them  and learn them tricks  and they
get to be as sociable as flies   but you got to play music to them   you
got anything to play music on  

 i ain' got nuffn but a coase comb en a piece o' paper  en a juice-harp 
but i reck'n dey wouldn' take no stock in a juice-harp  

 yes they would   they don't care what kind of music 'tis   a jews-harp's
plenty good enough for a rat   all animals like music in a prison they
dote on it   specially  painful music  and you can't get no other kind
out of a jews-harp   it always interests them  they come out to see
what's the matter with you   yes  you're all right  you're fixed very
well   you want to set on your bed nights before you go to sleep  and
early in the mornings  and play your jews-harp  play 'the last link is
broken' that's the thing that 'll scoop a rat quicker 'n anything else 
and when you've played about two minutes you'll see all the rats  and the
snakes  and spiders  and things begin to feel worried about you  and
come   and they'll just fairly swarm over you  and have a noble good
time  

 yes  dey will  i reck'n  mars tom  but what kine er time is jim havin' 
blest if i kin see de pint   but i'll do it ef i got to   i reck'n i
better keep de animals satisfied  en not have no trouble in de house  

tom waited to think it over  and see if there wasn't nothing else  and
pretty soon he says 

 oh  there's one thing i forgot   could you raise a flower here  do you
reckon  

 i doan know but maybe i could  mars tom  but it's tolable dark in heah 
en i ain' got no use f'r no flower  nohow  en she'd be a pow'ful sight o'
trouble  

 well  you try it  anyway   some other prisoners has done it  

 one er dem big cat-tail-lookin' mullen-stalks would grow in heah  mars
tom  i reck'n  but she wouldn't be wuth half de trouble she'd coss  

 don't you believe it   we'll fetch you a little one and you plant it in
the corner over there  and raise it   and don't call it mullen  call it
pitchiola that's its right name when it's in a prison   and you want to
water it with your tears  

 why  i got plenty spring water  mars tom  

 you don't want spring water  you want to water it with your tears   it's
the way they always do  

 why  mars tom  i lay i kin raise one er dem mullen-stalks twyste wid
spring water whiles another man's a start'n one wid tears  

 that ain't the idea   you got to do it with tears  

 she'll die on my han's  mars tom  she sholy will  kase i doan' skasely
ever cry  

so tom was stumped   but he studied it over  and then said jim would have
to worry along the best he could with an onion   he promised he would go
to the nigger cabins and drop one  private  in jim's coffee-pot  in the
morning  jim said he would  jis' 's soon have tobacker in his coffee  
and found so much fault with it  and with the work and bother of raising
the mullen  and jews-harping the rats  and petting and flattering up the
snakes and spiders and things  on top of all the other work he had to do
on pens  and inscriptions  and journals  and things  which made it more
trouble and worry and responsibility to be a prisoner than anything he
ever undertook  that tom most lost all patience with him  and said he was
just loadened down with more gaudier chances than a prisoner ever had in
the world to make a name for himself  and yet he didn't know enough to
appreciate them  and they was just about wasted on him   so jim he was
sorry  and said he wouldn't behave so no more  and then me and tom shoved
for bed 




in the morning we went up to the village and bought a wire rat-trap and
fetched it down  and unstopped the best rat-hole  and in about an hour we
had fifteen of the bulliest kind of ones  and then we took it and put it
in a safe place under aunt sally's bed   but while we was gone for
spiders little thomas franklin benjamin jefferson elexander phelps found
it there  and opened the door of it to see if the rats would come out 
and they did  and aunt sally she come in  and when we got back she was
a-standing on top of the bed raising cain  and the rats was doing what
they could to keep off the dull times for her   so she took and dusted us
both with the hickry  and we was as much as two hours catching another
fifteen or sixteen  drat that meddlesome cub  and they warn't the
likeliest  nuther  because the first haul was the pick of the flock 
i never see a likelier lot of rats than what that first haul was 

we got a splendid stock of sorted spiders  and bugs  and frogs  and
caterpillars  and one thing or another  and we like to got a hornet's
nest  but we didn't   the family was at home   we didn't give it right
up  but stayed with them as long as we could  because we allowed we'd
tire them out or they'd got to tire us out  and they done it   then we
got allycumpain and rubbed on the places  and was pretty near all right
again  but couldn't set down convenient   and so we went for the snakes 
and grabbed a couple of dozen garters and house-snakes  and put them in a
bag  and put it in our room  and by that time it was supper-time  and a
rattling good honest day's work   and hungry  oh  no  i reckon not!  and
there warn't a blessed snake up there when we went back we didn't half
tie the sack  and they worked out somehow  and left   but it didn't
matter much  because they was still on the premises somewheres   so we
judged we could get some of them again   no  there warn't no real
scarcity of snakes about the house for a considerable spell   you'd see
them dripping from the rafters and places every now and then  and they
generly landed in your plate  or down the back of your neck  and most of
the time where you didn't want them   well  they was handsome and
striped  and there warn't no harm in a million of them  but that never
made no difference to aunt sally  she despised snakes  be the breed what
they might  and she couldn't stand them no way you could fix it  and
every time one of them flopped down on her  it didn't make no difference
what she was doing  she would just lay that work down and light out   i
never see such a woman   and you could hear her whoop to jericho   you
couldn't get her to take a-holt of one of them with the tongs   and if
she turned over and found one in bed she would scramble out and lift a
howl that you would think the house was afire   she disturbed the old man
so that he said he could most wish there hadn't ever been no snakes
created   why  after every last snake had been gone clear out of the
house for as much as a week aunt sally warn't over it yet  she warn't
near over it  when she was setting thinking about something you could
touch her on the back of her neck with a feather and she would jump right
out of her stockings   it was very curious   but tom said all women was
just so   he said they was made that way for some reason or other 

we got a licking every time one of our snakes come in her way  and she
allowed these lickings warn't nothing to what she would do if we ever
loaded up the place again with them   i didn't mind the lickings  because
they didn't amount to nothing  but i minded the trouble we had to lay in
another lot   but we got them laid in  and all the other things  and you
never see a cabin as blithesome as jim's was when they'd all swarm out
for music and go for him   jim didn't like the spiders  and the spiders
didn't like jim  and so they'd lay for him  and make it mighty warm for
him   and he said that between the rats and the snakes and the grindstone
there warn't no room in bed for him  skasely  and when there was  a body
couldn't sleep  it was so lively  and it was always lively  he said 
because they never all slept at one time  but took turn about  so when
the snakes was asleep the rats was on deck  and when the rats turned in
the snakes come on watch  so he always had one gang under him  in his
way  and t'other gang having a circus over him  and if he got up to hunt
a new place the spiders would take a chance at him as he crossed over 
he said if he ever got out this time he wouldn't ever be a prisoner
again  not for a salary 

well  by the end of three weeks everything was in pretty good shape   the
shirt was sent in early  in a pie  and every time a rat bit jim he would
get up and write a little in his journal whilst the ink was fresh  the
pens was made  the inscriptions and so on was all carved on the
grindstone  the bed-leg was sawed in two  and we had et up the sawdust 
and it give us a most amazing stomach-ache   we reckoned we was all going
to die  but didn't   it was the most undigestible sawdust i ever see  and
tom said the same   but as i was saying  we'd got all the work done now 
at last  and we was all pretty much fagged out  too  but mainly jim   the
old man had wrote a couple of times to the plantation below orleans to
come and get their runaway nigger  but hadn't got no answer  because
there warn't no such plantation  so he allowed he would advertise jim in
the st  louis and new orleans papers  and when he mentioned the st  louis
ones it give me the cold shivers  and i see we hadn't no time to lose 
so tom said  now for the nonnamous letters 

 what's them    i says 

 warnings to the people that something is up   sometimes it's done one
way  sometimes another   but there's always somebody spying around that
gives notice to the governor of the castle   when louis xvi  was going to
light out of the tooleries a servant-girl done it   it's a very good way 
and so is the nonnamous letters   we'll use them both   and it's usual
for the prisoner's mother to change clothes with him  and she stays in 
and he slides out in her clothes   we'll do that  too  

 but looky here  tom  what do we want to warn anybody for that
something's up   let them find it out for themselves it's their
lookout  

 yes  i know  but you can't depend on them   it's the way they've acted
from the very start left us to do everything   they're so confiding and
mullet-headed they don't take notice of nothing at all   so if we don't
give them notice there won't be nobody nor nothing to interfere with us 
and so after all our hard work and trouble this escape 'll go off
perfectly flat  won't amount to nothing won't be nothing to it  

 well  as for me  tom  that's the way i'd like  

 shucks!  he says  and looked disgusted   so i says 

 but i ain't going to make no complaint   any way that suits you suits
me  what you going to do about the servant-girl  

 you'll be her   you slide in  in the middle of the night  and hook that
yaller girl's frock  

 why  tom  that 'll make trouble next morning  because  of course  she
prob'bly hain't got any but that one  

 i know  but you don't want it but fifteen minutes  to carry the
nonnamous letter and shove it under the front door  

 all right  then  i'll do it  but i could carry it just as handy in my
own togs  

 you wouldn't look like a servant-girl then  would you  

 no  but there won't be nobody to see what i look like  anyway  

 that ain't got nothing to do with it   the thing for us to do is just to
do our duty  and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not 
hain't you got no principle at all  

 all right  i ain't saying nothing  i'm the servant-girl   who's jim's
mother  

 i'm his mother   i'll hook a gown from aunt sally  

 well  then  you'll have to stay in the cabin when me and jim leaves  

 not much   i'll stuff jim's clothes full of straw and lay it on his bed
to represent his mother in disguise  and jim 'll take the nigger woman's
gown off of me and wear it  and we'll all evade together   when a
prisoner of style escapes it's called an evasion   it's always called so
when a king escapes  f'rinstance   and the same with a king's son  it
don't make no difference whether he's a natural one or an unnatural one  

so tom he wrote the nonnamous letter  and i smouched the yaller wench's
frock that night  and put it on  and shoved it under the front door  the
way tom told me to   it said 

beware   trouble is brewing   keep a sharp lookout  unknown friend 

next night we stuck a picture  which tom drawed in blood  of a skull and
crossbones on the front door  and next night another one of a coffin on
the back door   i never see a family in such a sweat   they couldn't a
been worse scared if the place had a been full of ghosts laying for them
behind everything and under the beds and shivering through the air   if a
door banged  aunt sally she jumped and said  ouch!  if anything fell  she
jumped and said  ouch!  if you happened to touch her  when she warn't
noticing  she done the same  she couldn't face noway and be satisfied 
because she allowed there was something behind her every time so she was
always a-whirling around sudden  and saying  ouch   and before she'd got
two-thirds around she'd whirl back again  and say it again  and she was
afraid to go to bed  but she dasn't set up   so the thing was working
very well  tom said  he said he never see a thing work more satisfactory 
he said it showed it was done right 

so he said  now for the grand bulge!  so the very next morning at the
streak of dawn we got another letter ready  and was wondering what we
better do with it  because we heard them say at supper they was going to
have a nigger on watch at both doors all night   tom he went down the
lightning-rod to spy around  and the nigger at the back door was asleep 
and he stuck it in the back of his neck and come back   this letter said 

don't betray me  i wish to be your friend   there is a desprate gang of
cut-throats from over in the indian territory going to steal your runaway
nigger to-night  and they have been trying to scare you so as you will
stay in the house and not bother them   i am one of the gang  but have
got religgion and wish to quit it and lead an honest life again  and will
betray the helish design  they will sneak down from northards  along the
fence  at midnight exact  with a false key  and go in the nigger's cabin
to get him  i am to be off a piece and blow a tin horn if i see any
danger  but stead of that i will ba like a sheep soon as they get in and
not blow at all  then whilst they are getting his chains loose  you slip
there and lock them in  and can kill them at your leasure   don't do
anything but just the way i am telling you  if you do they will suspicion
something and raise whoop-jamboreehoo  i do not wish any reward but to
know i have done the right thing  unknown friend 




we was feeling pretty good after breakfast  and took my canoe and went
over the river a-fishing  with a lunch  and had a good time  and took a
look at the raft and found her all right  and got home late to supper 
and found them in such a sweat and worry they didn't know which end they
was standing on  and made us go right off to bed the minute we was done
supper  and wouldn't tell us what the trouble was  and never let on a
word about the new letter  but didn't need to  because we knowed as much
about it as anybody did  and as soon as we was half up stairs and her
back was turned we slid for the cellar cupboard and loaded up a good
lunch and took it up to our room and went to bed  and got up about
half-past eleven  and tom put on aunt sally's dress that he stole and
was going to start with the lunch  but says 

 where's the butter  

 i laid out a hunk of it   i says   on a piece of a corn-pone  

 well  you left it laid out  then it ain't here  

 we can get along without it   i says 

 we can get along with it  too   he says   just you slide down cellar and
fetch it   and then mosey right down the lightning-rod and come along 
i'll go and stuff the straw into jim's clothes to represent his mother in
disguise  and be ready to ba like a sheep and shove soon as you get
there  

so out he went  and down cellar went i  the hunk of butter  big as a
person's fist  was where i had left it  so i took up the slab of
corn-pone with it on  and blowed out my light  and started up stairs very
stealthy  and got up to the main floor all right  but here comes aunt
sally with a candle  and i clapped the truck in my hat  and clapped my
hat on my head  and the next second she see me  and she says 

 you been down cellar  

 yes'm  

 what you been doing down there  

 noth'n  

 noth'n! 

 no'm  

 well  then  what possessed you to go down there this time of night  

 i don't know 'm  

 you don't know   don't answer me that way  tom  i want to know what you
been doing down there  

 i hain't been doing a single thing  aunt sally  i hope to gracious if i
have  

i reckoned she'd let me go now  and as a generl thing she would  but i
s'pose there was so many strange things going on she was just in a sweat
about every little thing that warn't yard-stick straight  so she says 
very decided 

 you just march into that setting-room and stay there till i come   you
been up to something you no business to  and i lay i'll find out what it
is before i'm done with you  

so she went away as i opened the door and walked into the setting-room 
my  but there was a crowd there!  fifteen farmers  and every one of them
had a gun   i was most powerful sick  and slunk to a chair and set down 
they was setting around  some of them talking a little  in a low voice 
and all of them fidgety and uneasy  but trying to look like they warn't 
but i knowed they was  because they was always taking off their hats  and
putting them on  and scratching their heads  and changing their seats 
and fumbling with their buttons   i warn't easy myself  but i didn't take
my hat off  all the same 

i did wish aunt sally would come  and get done with me  and lick me  if
she wanted to  and let me get away and tell tom how we'd overdone this
thing  and what a thundering hornet's-nest we'd got ourselves into  so we
could stop fooling around straight off  and clear out with jim before
these rips got out of patience and come for us 

at last she come and begun to ask me questions  but i couldn't answer
them straight  i didn't know which end of me was up  because these men
was in such a fidget now that some was wanting to start right now and lay
for them desperadoes  and saying it warn't but a few minutes to midnight 
and others was trying to get them to hold on and wait for the
sheep-signal  and here was aunty pegging away at the questions  and me
a-shaking all over and ready to sink down in my tracks i was that scared 
and the place getting hotter and hotter  and the butter beginning to melt
and run down my neck and behind my ears  and pretty soon  when one of
them says   i'm for going and getting in the cabin first and right now 
and catching them when they come   i most dropped  and a streak of butter
come a-trickling down my forehead  and aunt sally she see it  and turns
white as a sheet  and says 

 for the land's sake  what is the matter with the child   he's got the
brain-fever as shore as you're born  and they're oozing out! 

and everybody runs to see  and she snatches off my hat  and out comes the
bread and what was left of the butter  and she grabbed me  and hugged me 
and says 

 oh  what a turn you did give me! and how glad and grateful i am it ain't
no worse  for luck's against us  and it never rains but it pours  and
when i see that truck i thought we'd lost you  for i knowed by the color
and all it was just like your brains would be if dear  dear  whyd'nt you
tell me that was what you'd been down there for  i wouldn't a cared   now
cler out to bed  and don't lemme see no more of you till morning! 

i was up stairs in a second  and down the lightning-rod in another one 
and shinning through the dark for the lean-to   i couldn't hardly get my
words out  i was so anxious  but i told tom as quick as i could we must
jump for it now  and not a minute to lose the house full of men  yonder 
with guns!

his eyes just blazed  and he says 

 no! is that so   ain't it bully!  why  huck  if it was to do over
again  i bet i could fetch two hundred!  if we could put it off till  

 hurry!  hurry!   i says    where's jim  

 right at your elbow  if you reach out your arm you can touch him   he's
dressed  and everything's ready   now we'll slide out and give the
sheep-signal  

but then we heard the tramp of men coming to the door  and heard them
begin to fumble with the pad-lock  and heard a man say 

 i told you we'd be too soon  they haven't come the door is locked 
here  i'll lock some of you into the cabin  and you lay for 'em in the
dark and kill 'em when they come  and the rest scatter around a piece 
and listen if you can hear 'em coming  

so in they come  but couldn't see us in the dark  and most trod on us
whilst we was hustling to get under the bed   but we got under all right 
and out through the hole  swift but soft jim first  me next  and tom
last  which was according to tom's orders   now we was in the lean-to 
and heard trampings close by outside   so we crept to the door  and tom
stopped us there and put his eye to the crack  but couldn't make out
nothing  it was so dark  and whispered and said he would listen for the
steps to get further  and when he nudged us jim must glide out first  and
him last   so he set his ear to the crack and listened  and listened  and
listened  and the steps a-scraping around out there all the time  and at
last he nudged us  and we slid out  and stooped down  not breathing  and
not making the least noise  and slipped stealthy towards the fence in
injun file  and got to it all right  and me and jim over it  but tom's
britches catched fast on a splinter on the top rail  and then he hear the
steps coming  so he had to pull loose  which snapped the splinter and
made a noise  and as he dropped in our tracks and started somebody sings
out 

 who's that   answer  or i'll shoot! 

but we didn't answer  we just unfurled our heels and shoved   then there
was a rush  and a bang  bang  bang! and the bullets fairly whizzed around
us! we heard them sing out 

 here they are!  they've broke for the river!  after 'em  boys  and turn
loose the dogs! 

so here they come  full tilt   we could hear them because they wore boots
and yelled  but we didn't wear no boots and didn't yell   we was in the
path to the mill  and when they got pretty close on to us we dodged into
the bush and let them go by  and then dropped in behind them   they'd had
all the dogs shut up  so they wouldn't scare off the robbers  but by this
time somebody had let them loose  and here they come  making powwow
enough for a million  but they was our dogs  so we stopped in our tracks
till they catched up  and when they see it warn't nobody but us  and no
excitement to offer them  they only just said howdy  and tore right ahead
towards the shouting and clattering  and then we up-steam again  and
whizzed along after them till we was nearly to the mill  and then struck
up through the bush to where my canoe was tied  and hopped in and pulled
for dear life towards the middle of the river  but didn't make no more
noise than we was obleeged to  then we struck out  easy and comfortable 
for the island where my raft was  and we could hear them yelling and
barking at each other all up and down the bank  till we was so far away
the sounds got dim and died out   and when we stepped on to the raft i
says 

 now  old jim  you're a free man again  and i bet you won't ever be a
slave no more  

 en a mighty good job it wuz  too  huck   it 'uz planned beautiful  en it
'uz done beautiful  en dey ain't nobody kin git up a plan dat's mo'
mixed-up en splendid den what dat one wuz  

we was all glad as we could be  but tom was the gladdest of all because
he had a bullet in the calf of his leg 

when me and jim heard that we didn't feel so brash as what we did before 
it was hurting him considerable  and bleeding  so we laid him in the
wigwam and tore up one of the duke's shirts for to bandage him  but he
says 

 gimme the rags  i can do it myself   don't stop now  don't fool around
here  and the evasion booming along so handsome  man the sweeps  and set
her loose!  boys  we done it elegant! 'deed we did   i wish we'd a had
the handling of louis xvi   there wouldn't a been no 'son of saint louis 
ascend to heaven!' wrote down in his biography  no  sir  we'd a whooped
him over the border that's what we'd a done with him and done it just
as slick as nothing at all  too   man the sweeps man the sweeps! 

but me and jim was consulting and thinking   and after we'd thought a
minute  i says 

 say it  jim  

so he says 

 well  den  dis is de way it look to me  huck   ef it wuz him dat 'uz
bein' sot free  en one er de boys wuz to git shot  would he say  'go on
en save me  nemmine 'bout a doctor f'r to save dis one '  is dat like
mars tom sawyer   would he say dat   you bet he wouldn't!  well  den  is
jim gywne to say it   no  sah i doan' budge a step out'n dis place 'dout
a doctor  not if it's forty year! 

i knowed he was white inside  and i reckoned he'd say what he did say so
it was all right now  and i told tom i was a-going for a doctor   he
raised considerable row about it  but me and jim stuck to it and wouldn't
budge  so he was for crawling out and setting the raft loose himself  but
we wouldn't let him   then he give us a piece of his mind  but it didn't
do no good 

so when he sees me getting the canoe ready  he says 

 well  then  if you re bound to go  i'll tell you the way to do when you
get to the village   shut the door and blindfold the doctor tight and
fast  and make him swear to be silent as the grave  and put a purse full
of gold in his hand  and then take and lead him all around the back
alleys and everywheres in the dark  and then fetch him here in the canoe 
in a roundabout way amongst the islands  and search him and take his
chalk away from him  and don't give it back to him till you get him back
to the village  or else he will chalk this raft so he can find it again 
it's the way they all do  

so i said i would  and left  and jim was to hide in the woods when he see
the doctor coming till he was gone again 




the doctor was an old man  a very nice  kind-looking old man when i got
him up   i told him me and my brother was over on spanish island hunting
yesterday afternoon  and camped on a piece of a raft we found  and about
midnight he must a kicked his gun in his dreams  for it went off and shot
him in the leg  and we wanted him to go over there and fix it and not say
nothing about it  nor let anybody know  because we wanted to come home
this evening and surprise the folks 

 who is your folks   he says 

 the phelpses  down yonder  

 oh   he says   and after a minute  he says 

 how'd you say he got shot  

 he had a dream   i says   and it shot him  

 singular dream   he says 

so he lit up his lantern  and got his saddle-bags  and we started   but
when he sees the canoe he didn't like the look of her said she was big
enough for one  but didn't look pretty safe for two   i says 

 oh  you needn't be afeard  sir  she carried the three of us easy
enough  

 what three  

 why  me and sid  and and and the guns  that's what i mean  

 oh   he says 

but he put his foot on the gunnel and rocked her  and shook his head  and
said he reckoned he'd look around for a bigger one   but they was all
locked and chained  so he took my canoe  and said for me to wait till he
come back  or i could hunt around further  or maybe i better go down home
and get them ready for the surprise if i wanted to   but i said i didn't 
so i told him just how to find the raft  and then he started 

i struck an idea pretty soon   i says to myself  spos'n he can't fix that
leg just in three shakes of a sheep's tail  as the saying is  spos'n it
takes him three or four days   what are we going to do  lay around there
till he lets the cat out of the bag   no  sir  i know what i'll do   i'll
wait  and when he comes back if he says he's got to go any more i'll get
down there  too  if i swim  and we'll take and tie him  and keep him  and
shove out down the river  and when tom's done with him we'll give him
what it's worth  or all we got  and then let him get ashore 

so then i crept into a lumber-pile to get some sleep  and next time i
waked up the sun was away up over my head!  i shot out and went for the
doctor's house  but they told me he'd gone away in the night some time or
other  and warn't back yet   well  thinks i  that looks powerful bad for
tom  and i'll dig out for the island right off   so away i shoved  and
turned the corner  and nearly rammed my head into uncle silas's stomach!
he says 

 why  tom!  where you been all this time  you rascal  

 i hain't been nowheres   i says   only just hunting for the runaway
nigger me and sid  

 why  where ever did you go   he says    your aunt's been mighty uneasy  

 she needn't   i says   because we was all right   we followed the men
and the dogs  but they outrun us  and we lost them  but we thought we
heard them on the water  so we got a canoe and took out after them and
crossed over  but couldn't find nothing of them  so we cruised along
up-shore till we got kind of tired and beat out  and tied up the canoe
and went to sleep  and never waked up till about an hour ago  then we
paddled over here to hear the news  and sid's at the post-office to see
what he can hear  and i'm a-branching out to get something to eat for us 
and then we're going home  

so then we went to the post-office to get  sid   but just as i
suspicioned  he warn't there  so the old man he got a letter out of the
office  and we waited awhile longer  but sid didn't come  so the old man
said  come along  let sid foot it home  or canoe it  when he got done
fooling around but we would ride   i couldn't get him to let me stay and
wait for sid  and he said there warn't no use in it  and i must come
along  and let aunt sally see we was all right 

when we got home aunt sally was that glad to see me she laughed and cried
both  and hugged me  and give me one of them lickings of hern that don't
amount to shucks  and said she'd serve sid the same when he come 

and the place was plum full of farmers and farmers' wives  to dinner  and
such another clack a body never heard   old mrs  hotchkiss was the worst 
her tongue was a-going all the time   she says 

 well  sister phelps  i've ransacked that-air cabin over  an' i b'lieve
the nigger was crazy   i says to sister damrell didn't i  sister
damrell  s'i  he's crazy  s'i them's the very words i said   you all
hearn me  he's crazy  s'i  everything shows it  s'i   look at that-air
grindstone  s'i  want to tell me't any cretur 't's in his right mind 's a
goin' to scrabble all them crazy things onto a grindstone  s'i   here
sich 'n' sich a person busted his heart  'n' here so 'n' so pegged along
for thirty-seven year  'n' all that natcherl son o' louis somebody  'n'
sich everlast'n rubbage   he's plumb crazy  s'i  it's what i says in the
fust place  it's what i says in the middle  'n' it's what i says last 'n'
all the time the nigger's crazy crazy 's nebokoodneezer  s'i  

 an' look at that-air ladder made out'n rags  sister hotchkiss   says old
mrs  damrell   what in the name o' goodness could he ever want of  

 the very words i was a-sayin' no longer ago th'n this minute to sister
utterback  'n' she'll tell you so herself   sh-she  look at that-air rag
ladder  sh-she  'n' s'i  yes  look at it  s'i what could he a-wanted of
it  s'i   sh-she  sister hotchkiss  sh-she  

 but how in the nation'd they ever git that grindstone in there  anyway 
'n' who dug that-air hole  'n' who  

 my very words  brer penrod!  i was a-sayin' pass that-air sasser o'
m'lasses  won't ye  i was a-sayin' to sister dunlap  jist this minute 
how did they git that grindstone in there  s'i   without help  mind you
 'thout help!  that's wher 'tis   don't tell me  s'i  there wuz help 
s'i  'n' ther' wuz a plenty help  too  s'i  ther's ben a dozen a-helpin'
that nigger  'n' i lay i'd skin every last nigger on this place but i'd
find out who done it  s'i  'n' moreover  s'i  

 a dozen says you! forty couldn't a done every thing that's been done 
look at them case-knife saws and things  how tedious they've been made 
look at that bed-leg sawed off with 'm  a week's work for six men  look
at that nigger made out'n straw on the bed  and look at  

 you may well say it  brer hightower!  it's jist as i was a-sayin' to
brer phelps  his own self   s'e  what do you think of it  sister
hotchkiss  s'e  think o' what  brer phelps  s'i   think o' that bed-leg
sawed off that a way  s'e   think of it  s'i   i lay it never sawed
itself off  s'i somebody sawed it  s'i  that's my opinion  take it or
leave it  it mayn't be no 'count  s'i  but sich as 't is  it's my
opinion  s'i  'n' if any body k'n start a better one  s'i  let him do it 
s'i  that's all   i says to sister dunlap  s'i  

 why  dog my cats  they must a ben a house-full o' niggers in there every
night for four weeks to a done all that work  sister phelps   look at
that shirt every last inch of it kivered over with secret african writ'n
done with blood!  must a ben a raft uv 'm at it right along  all the
time  amost   why  i'd give two dollars to have it read to me  'n' as for
the niggers that wrote it  i 'low i'd take 'n' lash 'm t'll  

 people to help him  brother marples!  well  i reckon you'd think so if
you'd a been in this house for a while back   why  they've stole
everything they could lay their hands on and we a-watching all the time 
mind you  they stole that shirt right off o' the line! and as for that
sheet they made the rag ladder out of  ther' ain't no telling how many
times they didn't steal that  and flour  and candles  and candlesticks 
and spoons  and the old warming-pan  and most a thousand things that i
disremember now  and my new calico dress  and me and silas and my sid and
tom on the constant watch day and night  as i was a-telling you  and not
a one of us could catch hide nor hair nor sight nor sound of them  and
here at the last minute  lo and behold you  they slides right in under
our noses and fools us  and not only fools us but the injun territory
robbers too  and actuly gets away with that nigger safe and sound  and
that with sixteen men and twenty-two dogs right on their very heels at
that very time!  i tell you  it just bangs anything i ever heard of 
why  sperits couldn't a done better and been no smarter  and i reckon
they must a been sperits because  you know our dogs  and ther' ain't no
better  well  them dogs never even got on the track of 'm once!  you
explain that to me if you can! any of you! 

 well  it does beat  

 laws alive  i never  

 so help me  i wouldn't a be  

 house-thieves as well as  

 goodnessgracioussakes  i'd a ben afeard to live in sich a  

 'fraid to live! why  i was that scared i dasn't hardly go to bed  or
get up  or lay down  or set down  sister ridgeway   why  they'd steal the
very why  goodness sakes  you can guess what kind of a fluster i was
in by the time midnight come last night   i hope to gracious if i warn't
afraid they'd steal some o' the family!  i was just to that pass i didn't
have no reasoning faculties no more   it looks foolish enough now  in the
daytime  but i says to myself  there's my two poor boys asleep  'way up
stairs in that lonesome room  and i declare to goodness i was that uneasy
't i crep' up there and locked 'em in!  i did   and anybody would 
because  you know  when you get scared that way  and it keeps running on 
and getting worse and worse all the time  and your wits gets to addling 
and you get to doing all sorts o' wild things  and by and by you think to
yourself  spos'n i was a boy  and was away up there  and the door ain't
locked  and you   she stopped  looking kind of wondering  and then she
turned her head around slow  and when her eye lit on me i got up and
took a walk 

says i to myself  i can explain better how we come to not be in that room
this morning if i go out to one side and study over it a little   so i
done it   but i dasn't go fur  or she'd a sent for me   and when it was
late in the day the people all went  and then i come in and told her the
noise and shooting waked up me and  sid   and the door was locked  and we
wanted to see the fun  so we went down the lightning-rod  and both of us
got hurt a little  and we didn't never want to try that no more   and
then i went on and told her all what i told uncle silas before  and then
she said she'd forgive us  and maybe it was all right enough anyway  and
about what a body might expect of boys  for all boys was a pretty
harum-scarum lot as fur as she could see  and so  as long as no harm
hadn't come of it  she judged she better put in her time being grateful
we was alive and well and she had us still  stead of fretting over what
was past and done   so then she kissed me  and patted me on the head  and
dropped into a kind of a brown study  and pretty soon jumps up  and says 

 why  lawsamercy  it's most night  and sid not come yet!  what has become
of that boy  

i see my chance  so i skips up and says 

 i'll run right up to town and get him   i says 

 no you won't   she says    you'll stay right wher' you are  one's enough
to be lost at a time   if he ain't here to supper  your uncle 'll go  

well  he warn't there to supper  so right after supper uncle went 

he come back about ten a little bit uneasy  hadn't run across tom's
track  aunt sally was a good deal uneasy  but uncle silas he said there
warn't no occasion to be boys will be boys  he said  and you'll see this
one turn up in the morning all sound and right   so she had to be
satisfied   but she said she'd set up for him a while anyway  and keep a
light burning so he could see it 

and then when i went up to bed she come up with me and fetched her
candle  and tucked me in  and mothered me so good i felt mean  and like i
couldn't look her in the face  and she set down on the bed and talked
with me a long time  and said what a splendid boy sid was  and didn't
seem to want to ever stop talking about him  and kept asking me every now
and then if i reckoned he could a got lost  or hurt  or maybe drownded 
and might be laying at this minute somewheres suffering or dead  and she
not by him to help him  and so the tears would drip down silent  and i
would tell her that sid was all right  and would be home in the morning 
sure  and she would squeeze my hand  or maybe kiss me  and tell me to say
it again  and keep on saying it  because it done her good  and she was in
so much trouble   and when she was going away she looked down in my eyes
so steady and gentle  and says 

 the door ain't going to be locked  tom  and there's the window and the
rod  but you'll be good  won't you   and you won't go   for my sake  

laws knows i wanted to go bad enough to see about tom  and was all
intending to go  but after that i wouldn't a went  not for kingdoms 

but she was on my mind and tom was on my mind  so i slept very restless 
and twice i went down the rod away in the night  and slipped around
front  and see her setting there by her candle in the window with her
eyes towards the road and the tears in them  and i wished i could do
something for her  but i couldn't  only to swear that i wouldn't never do
nothing to grieve her any more   and the third time i waked up at dawn 
and slid down  and she was there yet  and her candle was most out  and
her old gray head was resting on her hand  and she was asleep 




the old man was uptown again before breakfast  but couldn't get no track
of tom  and both of them set at the table thinking  and not saying
nothing  and looking mournful  and their coffee getting cold  and not
eating anything  and by and by the old man says 

 did i give you the letter  

 what letter  

 the one i got yesterday out of the post-office  

 no  you didn't give me no letter  

 well  i must a forgot it  

so he rummaged his pockets  and then went off somewheres where he had
laid it down  and fetched it  and give it to her   she says 

 why  it's from st  petersburg it's from sis  

i allowed another walk would do me good  but i couldn't stir   but before
she could break it open she dropped it and run for she see something 
and so did i  it was tom sawyer on a mattress  and that old doctor  and
jim  in her calico dress  with his hands tied behind him  and a lot of
people   i hid the letter behind the first thing that come handy  and
rushed   she flung herself at tom  crying  and says 

 oh  he's dead  he's dead  i know he's dead! 

and tom he turned his head a little  and muttered something or other 
which showed he warn't in his right mind  then she flung up her hands 
and says 

 he's alive  thank god!  and that's enough!  and she snatched a kiss of
him  and flew for the house to get the bed ready  and scattering orders
right and left at the niggers and everybody else  as fast as her tongue
could go  every jump of the way 

i followed the men to see what they was going to do with jim  and the old
doctor and uncle silas followed after tom into the house   the men was
very huffy  and some of them wanted to hang jim for an example to all the
other niggers around there  so they wouldn't be trying to run away like
jim done  and making such a raft of trouble  and keeping a whole family
scared most to death for days and nights   but the others said  don't do
it  it wouldn't answer at all  he ain't our nigger  and his owner would
turn up and make us pay for him  sure   so that cooled them down a
little  because the people that's always the most anxious for to hang a
nigger that hain't done just right is always the very ones that ain't the
most anxious to pay for him when they've got their satisfaction out of
him 

they cussed jim considerble  though  and give him a cuff or two side the
head once in a while  but jim never said nothing  and he never let on to
know me  and they took him to the same cabin  and put his own clothes on
him  and chained him again  and not to no bed-leg this time  but to a big
staple drove into the bottom log  and chained his hands  too  and both
legs  and said he warn't to have nothing but bread and water to eat after
this till his owner come  or he was sold at auction because he didn't
come in a certain length of time  and filled up our hole  and said a
couple of farmers with guns must stand watch around about the cabin every
night  and a bulldog tied to the door in the daytime  and about this time
they was through with the job and was tapering off with a kind of generl
good-bye cussing  and then the old doctor comes and takes a look  and
says 

 don't be no rougher on him than you're obleeged to  because he ain't a
bad nigger   when i got to where i found the boy i see i couldn't cut the
bullet out without some help  and he warn't in no condition for me to
leave to go and get help  and he got a little worse and a little worse 
and after a long time he went out of his head  and wouldn't let me come
a-nigh him any more  and said if i chalked his raft he'd kill me  and no
end of wild foolishness like that  and i see i couldn't do anything at
all with him  so i says  i got to have help somehow  and the minute i
says it out crawls this nigger from somewheres and says he'll help  and
he done it  too  and done it very well   of course i judged he must be a
runaway nigger  and there i was! and there i had to stick right straight
along all the rest of the day and all night   it was a fix  i tell you!
i had a couple of patients with the chills  and of course i'd of liked to
run up to town and see them  but i dasn't  because the nigger might get
away  and then i'd be to blame  and yet never a skiff come close enough
for me to hail   so there i had to stick plumb until daylight this
morning  and i never see a nigger that was a better nuss or faithfuller 
and yet he was risking his freedom to do it  and was all tired out  too 
and i see plain enough he'd been worked main hard lately   i liked the
nigger for that  i tell you  gentlemen  a nigger like that is worth a
thousand dollars and kind treatment  too   i had everything i needed 
and the boy was doing as well there as he would a done at home better 
maybe  because it was so quiet  but there i was  with both of 'm on my
hands  and there i had to stick till about dawn this morning  then some
men in a skiff come by  and as good luck would have it the nigger was
setting by the pallet with his head propped on his knees sound asleep  so
i motioned them in quiet  and they slipped up on him and grabbed him and
tied him before he knowed what he was about  and we never had no trouble 
and the boy being in a kind of a flighty sleep  too  we muffled the oars
and hitched the raft on  and towed her over very nice and quiet  and the
nigger never made the least row nor said a word from the start   he ain't
no bad nigger  gentlemen  that's what i think about him  

somebody says 

 well  it sounds very good  doctor  i'm obleeged to say  

then the others softened up a little  too  and i was mighty thankful to
that old doctor for doing jim that good turn  and i was glad it was
according to my judgment of him  too  because i thought he had a good
heart in him and was a good man the first time i see him   then they all
agreed that jim had acted very well  and was deserving to have some
notice took of it  and reward   so every one of them promised  right out
and hearty  that they wouldn't cuss him no more 

then they come out and locked him up   i hoped they was going to say he
could have one or two of the chains took off  because they was rotten
heavy  or could have meat and greens with his bread and water  but they
didn't think of it  and i reckoned it warn't best for me to mix in  but i
judged i'd get the doctor's yarn to aunt sally somehow or other as soon
as i'd got through the breakers that was laying just ahead of me
 explanations  i mean  of how i forgot to mention about sid being shot
when i was telling how him and me put in that dratted night paddling
around hunting the runaway nigger 

but i had plenty time   aunt sally she stuck to the sick-room all day and
all night  and every time i see uncle silas mooning around i dodged him 

next morning i heard tom was a good deal better  and they said aunt sally
was gone to get a nap   so i slips to the sick-room  and if i found him
awake i reckoned we could put up a yarn for the family that would wash 
but he was sleeping  and sleeping very peaceful  too  and pale  not
fire-faced the way he was when he come   so i set down and laid for him
to wake   in about half an hour aunt sally comes gliding in  and there i
was  up a stump again!  she motioned me to be still  and set down by me 
and begun to whisper  and said we could all be joyful now  because all
the symptoms was first-rate  and he'd been sleeping like that for ever so
long  and looking better and peacefuller all the time  and ten to one
he'd wake up in his right mind 

so we set there watching  and by and by he stirs a bit  and opened his
eyes very natural  and takes a look  and says 

 hello! why  i'm at home!  how's that   where's the raft  

 it's all right   i says 

 and jim  

 the same   i says  but couldn't say it pretty brash   but he never
noticed  but says 

 good!  splendid!  now we're all right and safe! did you tell aunty  

i was going to say yes  but she chipped in and says    about what  sid  

 why  about the way the whole thing was done  

 what whole thing  

 why  the whole thing   there ain't but one  how we set the runaway
nigger free me and tom  

 good land!  set the run what is the child talking about!  dear  dear 
out of his head again! 

 no  i ain't out of my head  i know all what i'm talking about   we did
set him free me and tom   we laid out to do it  and we done it   and we
done it elegant  too    he'd got a start  and she never checked him up 
just set and stared and stared  and let him clip along  and i see it
warn't no use for me to put in    why  aunty  it cost us a power of work
 weeks of it hours and hours  every night  whilst you was all asleep 
and we had to steal candles  and the sheet  and the shirt  and your
dress  and spoons  and tin plates  and case-knives  and the warming-pan 
and the grindstone  and flour  and just no end of things  and you can't
think what work it was to make the saws  and pens  and inscriptions  and
one thing or another  and you can't think half the fun it was   and we
had to make up the pictures of coffins and things  and nonnamous letters
from the robbers  and get up and down the lightning-rod  and dig the hole
into the cabin  and made the rope ladder and send it in cooked up in a
pie  and send in spoons and things to work with in your apron pocket  

 mercy sakes! 

  and load up the cabin with rats and snakes and so on  for company for
jim  and then you kept tom here so long with the butter in his hat that
you come near spiling the whole business  because the men come before we
was out of the cabin  and we had to rush  and they heard us and let drive
at us  and i got my share  and we dodged out of the path and let them go
by  and when the dogs come they warn't interested in us  but went for the
most noise  and we got our canoe  and made for the raft  and was all
safe  and jim was a free man  and we done it all by ourselves  and wasn't
it bully  aunty! 

 well  i never heard the likes of it in all my born days!  so it was you 
you little rapscallions  that's been making all this trouble  and turned
everybody's wits clean inside out and scared us all most to death   i've
as good a notion as ever i had in my life to take it out o' you this very
minute   to think  here i've been  night after night  a you just get
well once  you young scamp  and i lay i'll tan the old harry out o' both
o' ye! 

but tom  he was so proud and joyful  he just couldn't hold in  and his
tongue just went it she a-chipping in  and spitting fire all along  and
both of them going it at once  like a cat convention  and she says 

 well  you get all the enjoyment you can out of it now  for mind i tell
you if i catch you meddling with him again  

 meddling with who    tom says  dropping his smile and looking surprised 

 with who   why  the runaway nigger  of course   who'd you reckon  

tom looks at me very grave  and says 

 tom  didn't you just tell me he was all right   hasn't he got away  

 him   says aunt sally   the runaway nigger   'deed he hasn't   they've
got him back  safe and sound  and he's in that cabin again  on bread and
water  and loaded down with chains  till he's claimed or sold! 

tom rose square up in bed  with his eye hot  and his nostrils opening and
shutting like gills  and sings out to me 

 they hain't no right to shut him up!  shove! and don't you lose a
minute   turn him loose! he ain't no slave  he's as free as any cretur
that walks this earth! 

 what does the child mean  

 i mean every word i say  aunt sally  and if somebody don't go  i'll go 
i've knowed him all his life  and so has tom  there   old miss watson
died two months ago  and she was ashamed she ever was going to sell him
down the river  and said so  and she set him free in her will  

 then what on earth did you want to set him free for  seeing he was
already free  

 well  that is a question  i must say  and just like women!  why  i
wanted the adventure of it  and i'd a waded neck-deep in blood to
 goodness alive  aunt polly! 

if she warn't standing right there  just inside the door  looking as
sweet and contented as an angel half full of pie  i wish i may never!

aunt sally jumped for her  and most hugged the head off of her  and cried
over her  and i found a good enough place for me under the bed  for it
was getting pretty sultry for us  seemed to me   and i peeped out  and in
a little while tom's aunt polly shook herself loose and stood there
looking across at tom over her spectacles kind of grinding him into the
earth  you know   and then she says 

 yes  you better turn y'r head away i would if i was you  tom  

 oh  deary me!  says aunt sally   is he changed so   why  that ain't tom 
it's sid  tom's tom's why  where is tom   he was here a minute ago  

 you mean where's huck finn that's what you mean!  i reckon i hain't
raised such a scamp as my tom all these years not to know him when i see
him   that would be a pretty howdy-do   come out from under that bed 
huck finn  

so i done it   but not feeling brash 

aunt sally she was one of the mixed-upest-looking persons i ever see
 except one  and that was uncle silas  when he come in and they told it
all to him   it kind of made him drunk  as you may say  and he didn't
know nothing at all the rest of the day  and preached a prayer-meeting
sermon that night that gave him a rattling ruputation  because the oldest
man in the world couldn't a understood it   so tom's aunt polly  she told
all about who i was  and what  and i had to up and tell how i was in such
a tight place that when mrs  phelps took me for tom sawyer she chipped
in and says   oh  go on and call me aunt sally  i'm used to it now  and
'tain't no need to change  that when aunt sally took me for tom sawyer i
had to stand it there warn't no other way  and i knowed he wouldn't
mind  because it would be nuts for him  being a mystery  and he'd make an
adventure out of it  and be perfectly satisfied   and so it turned out 
and he let on to be sid  and made things as soft as he could for me 

and his aunt polly she said tom was right about old miss watson setting
jim free in her will  and so  sure enough  tom sawyer had gone and took
all that trouble and bother to set a free nigger free! and i couldn't
ever understand before  until that minute and that talk  how he could
help a body set a nigger free with his bringing-up 

well  aunt polly she said that when aunt sally wrote to her that tom and
sid had come all right and safe  she says to herself 

 look at that  now!  i might have expected it  letting him go off that
way without anybody to watch him   so now i got to go and trapse all the
way down the river  eleven hundred mile  and find out what that creetur's
up to this time  as long as i couldn't seem to get any answer out of you
about it  

 why  i never heard nothing from you   says aunt sally 

 well  i wonder!  why  i wrote you twice to ask you what you could mean
by sid being here  

 well  i never got 'em  sis  

aunt polly she turns around slow and severe  and says 

 you  tom! 

 well what   he says  kind of pettish 

 don t you what me  you impudent thing hand out them letters  

 what letters  

 them letters   i be bound  if i have to take a-holt of you i'll  

 they're in the trunk   there  now   and they're just the same as they
was when i got them out of the office   i hain't looked into them  i
hain't touched them   but i knowed they'd make trouble  and i thought if
you warn't in no hurry  i'd  

 well  you do need skinning  there ain't no mistake about it   and i
wrote another one to tell you i was coming  and i s'pose he  

 no  it come yesterday  i hain't read it yet  but it's all right  i've
got that one  

i wanted to offer to bet two dollars she hadn't  but i reckoned maybe it
was just as safe to not to   so i never said nothing 




the first time i catched tom private i asked him what was his idea  time
of the evasion  what it was he'd planned to do if the evasion worked all
right and he managed to set a nigger free that was already free before 
and he said  what he had planned in his head from the start  if we got
jim out all safe  was for us to run him down the river on the raft  and
have adventures plumb to the mouth of the river  and then tell him about
his being free  and take him back up home on a steamboat  in style  and
pay him for his lost time  and write word ahead and get out all the
niggers around  and have them waltz him into town with a torchlight
procession and a brass-band  and then he would be a hero  and so would
we   but i reckoned it was about as well the way it was 

we had jim out of the chains in no time  and when aunt polly and uncle
silas and aunt sally found out how good he helped the doctor nurse tom 
they made a heap of fuss over him  and fixed him up prime  and give him
all he wanted to eat  and a good time  and nothing to do   and we had him
up to the sick-room  and had a high talk  and tom give jim forty dollars
for being prisoner for us so patient  and doing it up so good  and jim
was pleased most to death  and busted out  and says 

 dah  now  huck  what i tell you  what i tell you up dah on jackson
islan'   i tole you i got a hairy breas'  en what's de sign un it  en i
tole you i ben rich wunst  en gwineter to be rich agin  en it's come
true  en heah she is!  dah  now! doan' talk to me signs is signs  mine i
tell you  en i knowed jis' 's well 'at i 'uz gwineter be rich agin as i's
a-stannin' heah dis minute! 

and then tom he talked along and talked along  and says  le's all three
slide out of here one of these nights and get an outfit  and go for
howling adventures amongst the injuns  over in the territory  for a
couple of weeks or two  and i says  all right  that suits me  but i ain't
got no money for to buy the outfit  and i reckon i couldn't get none from
home  because it's likely pap's been back before now  and got it all away
from judge thatcher and drunk it up 

 no  he hain't   tom says   it's all there yet six thousand dollars and
more  and your pap hain't ever been back since   hadn't when i come away 
anyhow  

jim says  kind of solemn 

 he ain't a-comin' back no mo'  huck  

i says 

 why  jim  

 nemmine why  huck but he ain't comin' back no mo  

but i kept at him  so at last he says 

 doan' you 'member de house dat was float'n down de river  en dey wuz a
man in dah  kivered up  en i went in en unkivered him and didn' let you
come in   well  den  you kin git yo' money when you wants it  kase dat
wuz him  

tom's most well now  and got his bullet around his neck on a watch-guard
for a watch  and is always seeing what time it is  and so there ain't
nothing more to write about  and i am rotten glad of it  because if i'd a
knowed what a trouble it was to make a book i wouldn't a tackled it  and
ain't a-going to no more   but i reckon i got to light out for the
territory ahead of the rest  because aunt sally she's going to adopt me
and sivilize me  and i can't stand it   i been there before 
