GEORGE:I USED TO THINK A WEDDING WAS A SIMPLE AFFAIR.A BOY AND GIRL MEET, THEY FALL IN LOVE, HE BUYS A RING, SHE BUYS A DRESS, THEY SAY "I DO." I WAS WRONG.THAT'S GETTING MARRIED.A WEDDING IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROPOSITION.I KNOW.I'VE JUST BEEN THROUGH ONE.NOT MY OWN.MY DAUGHTER'S.ANNIE BANKS-MACKENZIE.THAT'S HER MARRIED NAME.MACKENZIE.I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.WHEN I BOUGHT THIS HOUSE SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO, IT COST ME LESS THAN THIS BLESSED EVENT IN WHICH ANNIE BANKS BECAME ANNIE BANKS-MACKENZIE.I'M TOLD THAT ONE DAY I'LL LOOK BACK ON ALL THIS WITH GREAT AFFECTION AND NOSTALGIA.I HOPE SO.YOU FATHERS WILL UNDERSTAND.YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL.AN ADORABLE LITTLE GIRL WHO LOOKS UP TO YOU AND ADORES YOU IN A WAY YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE.I REMEMBER HOW HER LITTLE HAND USED TO FIT INSIDE MINE.HOW SHE USED TO SIT IN MY LAP AND LEAN HER HEAD AGAINST MY CHEST.SHE SAID THAT I WAS HER HERO.THEN THE DAY COMES WHEN SHE WANTS TO GET HER EARS PIERCED AND SHE WANTS YOU TO DROP HER OFF A BLOCK BEFORE THE MOVIE THEATER.NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE'S WEARING EYE SHADOW AND HIGH HEELS.FROM THAT MOMENT ON, YOU'RE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF PANIC.YOU WORRY ABOUT HER GOING OUT WITH THE WRONG KIND OF GUYS, THE KIND OF GUYS WHO ONLY WANT ONE THING-AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT ONE THING IS BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME THING YOU WANTED WHEN YOU WERE THEIR AGE.THEN SHE GETS A LITTLE OLDER AND YOU QUITE WORRYING ABOUT HER MEETING THE WRONG GUY AND YOU WORRY ABOUT HER MEETING THE RIGHT GUY.AND THAT'S THE BIGGEST FEAR OF ALL BECAUSE THEN YOU LOSE HER.AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE SITTING ALL ALONE IN A BIG, EMPTY HOUSE, WEARING RICE ON YOUR TUX, WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LIFE.IT WAS JUST SIX MONTHS AGO THAT IT HAPPENED HERE.JUST SIX MONTHS AGO THAT THE STORM BROKE.
GEORGE:ANNIE HAD BEEN STUDYING FOR HER MASTERS IN ARCHITECTURE FOR THE PAST SEMESTER IN ROME.I REMEMBER I WAS WORK WALKING THROUGH THE FACTORY.I OWN A COMPANY CALLED "SIDEKICKS." WE MANUFACTURE ATHLETIC SHOES.ANYWAY, I REMEMBER HOW PREOCCUPIED I WAS THAT DAY.
WOMAN:SORRY, MR.BANKS.
GEORGE:MY FAULT, GRACE.
GEORGE:ANNIE HAD NEVER BEEN THAT FAR AWAY FROM HOME AND SHE WAS DUE BACK ANY MINUTE.I COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE THE KID.
OLIVIA:GEORGE, SHE LANDED!
GEORGE:MY DAUGHTER.BEEN STUDYING ABROAD.BEEN FLYING FOR ELEVEN HOURS.I'M NOT WILD ABOUT HER BEING IN THE AIR.YOU GOT KIDS, JUAN.YOU UNDERSTAND.IT'S BETTER WHEN THEY'RE ON THE GROUND.
GEORGE:I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A CONCERNED PARENT.I'M BIG ON CAR SEATS, SEAT BELTS, BED TIMES, CURFEWS, CALLING WHEN YOU GET SOMEWHERE, NEVER RUNNING WITH A SHARP OBJECT.WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M A FATHER.WORRYING COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.
OLIVIA:IS NINA PICKING HER UP AT THE AIRPORT?
GEORGE:YEAH.
OLIVIA:AND YOU'RE GOING TO MEET THEM?
GEORGE:YEAH.I'M GOING HOME RIGHT NOW.WHERE ARE MY KEYS?
OLIVIA:HERE.AND SIGN THIS.
GEORGE:OKAY.
OLIVIA:HAT.
GEORGE:OKAY, THANKS.OH, AND THIS.
OLIVIA:BRING HER BY.
GEORGE:OKAY.BYE.
GEORGE:I LEFT WORK EARLY BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE SOMETHING TO PICK UP FOR ANNIE'S HOMECOMING.WE LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA CALLED SAN MARINO.I LOVE THIS TOWN, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE WHERE PEOPLE STILL SMILE AT EACH OTHER BUT BECAUSE IT HASN'T CHANGED MUCH IN THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.AND SINCE I'M NOT A GUY WHO'S BIG ON CHANGE, THIS TOWN FITS ME LIKE A GLOVE.I GOT ANNIE'S TEN-SPEED ALL CLEANED UP AND POLISHED.NEW SEAT, NEW TIRES.I COULDN'T WAIT TO SHOW IT TO HER.THIS IS OUR HOUSE.24 MAPLE DRIVE.ANNIE WAS JUST IN GRAMMAR SCHOOL WHEN WE BOUGHT IT.A FEW YEARS LATER, WE GOT A SURPRISE PACKAGE.OUR SON, MATT.I LOVE THIS HOUSE.I LOVE THAT I TAUGHT MY KIDS TO RIDE THEIR BIKES IN THE DRIVEWAY.I LOVE THAT I SLEPT WITH THEM IN TENTS IN THE BACKYARD.I LOVE THAT WE CARVED OUR INITIALS IN THE TREE OUT FRONT.THIS HOUSE IS WARM IN THE WINTER, COOL IN THE SUMMER, AND LOOKS SPECTACULAR WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.IT'S A GREAT HOUSE.I NEVER WANT TO MOVE.BUT THE THING I THINK I LIKE BEST ABOUT THIS HOUSE ARE THE VOICES I HEAR WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE DOOR.
NINA:HEY! HI.YOU GOT OUT EARLY.
GEORGE:WHERE IS SHE?
NINA:OH, UH, SHE'S UNPACKING.SHE LOOKS SO FABULOUS.JUST FABULOUS.DIFFERENT.ANYWAY, SHE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
GEORGE:DIFFERENT?
MATT:CIAO, PAPA!
GEORGE:HEY!
MATT:ANNIE BROUGHT ME THIS CANDY BAR ALL THE WAY FROM ROME.
NINA:AND LET'S NOT GET IT ON OUR AMERICAN FURNITURE.
GEORGE:MATTY! THE HIGHTOPS!
MATT:HEY, GRAZIE.
GEORGE:HEY, YOU'RE WELCOME.:WHAT DO YOU MEAN, DIFFERENT?
NINA:OH.
GEORGE:ANNIE.
ANNIE:HI, DAD.
GEORGE:HEY!
ANNIE:GOD, I MISSED YOU!
GEORGE:YOU LOOK.ALL LIT UP INSIDE.
ANNIE:I FEEL ALL LIT UP INSIDE.
NINA:MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO ROME FOR A FEW MONTHS, HONEY.
ANNIE:OH, YOU TWO WOULD LOVE IT.IT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE ON EARTH.
GEORGE:YOU SMELL PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
ANNIE:OH, YOU LIKE IT? IT WAS A PRESENT.
NINA:DOESN'T SHE LOOK INCREDIBLE? I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HER.COME ON, DINNER'S ON THE STOVE.:HONEY, YOU WANT TO COME?
GEORGE:OH.
GEORGE:ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'RE ALL BACK UNDER ONE ROOF, WE HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT ITEMS TO DISCUSS.FIRST ON LIST, WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE LAKERS GAME ON THURSDAY?
MATT:ME! DEFINITELY, YES!
GEORGE:OKAY, AND WITH YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE, TOO.
NINA:HONEY, I CAN'T.I HAVE INVENTORY TO DO THAT NIGHT.
GEORGE:OH.
ANNIE:UH, THURSDAY? SURE.ABSOLUTELY.
GEORGE:OKAY.
NINA:MATTY, USE YOUR OTHER FORK.
GEORGE:NUMBER TWO.PAUL SIMON'S COMING TO THE FORUM AND I THINK I CAN GET US GREAT SEATS.
ANNIE:UM.YEAH.SURE.
GEORGE:ALL RIGHT, PAUL SIMON IS AN "UM.YEAH.SURE," WHICH I BELIEVE TRANSLATES TO A "YES."
NINA:OH, UM, HONEY? COULD YOU PLEASE GET THAT BOTTLE OF WINE IN THE FRIDGE FOR ME?
GEORGE:SURE.
ANNIE:DAD, WAIT.UM.I DON'T KNOW.
GEORGE:YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE PAUL SIMON?
ANNIE:NO.I DO.IT'S JUST, UM.
NINA:WHAT IS IT?
ANNIE:WELL.
NINA:IS SOMETHING GOING ON?
ANNIE:YES, IT IS, MOM.UH.GOD, THIS IS A HARD THING TO TELL PARENTS.ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE MY PARENTS.OH, GOD!
GEORGE:HONEY, JUST SAY IT.WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
MATT:YEAH.
ANNIE:OKAY! I MET SOMEBODY IN ROME.UM, HE'S AN AMERICAN.UH, HE'S FROM L.A., ACTUALLY.AND UM, HIS NAME'S BRIAN MACKENZIE.AND HE'S THIS COMPLETELY WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL, AMAZING MAN, AND.WELL, WE STARTING SEEING EACH OTHER, A LOT.AND, UM.WE FELL IN LOVE.HA! HA! IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! AND, UH, WE'VE DECIDED TO GET MARRIED.WHICH MEANS THAT, I'M ENGAGED! HA! I'M ENGAGED! I'M GETTING MARRIED! HA!
MATT:CONGRATULATIONS!
ANNIE:THANK YOU.
NINA:OH! MY! MY! OH, SO, OH MY.AND THAT'S YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING, HUH?
ANNIE:YES! YES! WE GOT IT AT A FLEA MARKET OUTSIDE OF ROME.THE GUY WE BOUGHT IT FROM SAID THAT IT'S AT LEAST A HUNDRED YEARS OLD.SO, DAD.STOP IT.SAY SOMETHING.
GEORGE:I'M SORRY.WHAT DID YOU SAY?
LITTLE:
ANNIE:DAD, I MET A MAN IN ROME.AND HE'S WONDERFUL AND BRILLIANT, AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.
ANNIE:MOM, WHAT'S HE DOING?
NINA:GEORGE? GEORGE? GEORGE? WHAT IS IT?
GEORGE:WELL.THIS IS.THIS IS RIDICULOUS! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO GET MARRIED!
ANNIE:TOO YOUNG? DAD, I'M TWENTY-TWO.IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, THAT'S A YEAR OLDER THAN MOM WAS WHEN YOU GUYS GOT MARRIED.
GEORGE:THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE!
NINA:OH, NO.YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY WRONG.
GEORGE:YOU WERE THIS AGE WHEN I MARRIED YOU?
NINA:NO.I WAS YOUNGER.I WAS THIS AGE WHEN SHE WAS BORN.
GEORGE:THAT.THAT DOESN'T MATTER.TIMES HAVE CHANGED.YOUR MOTHER WAS MATURE.AND TWENTY-TWO ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE.MATT, WOULD YOU TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONER? IT'S HOT IN HERE.I THOUGHT.I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE.I THOUGHT IT MEANT A WOMAN LOST HER IDENTITY.I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO GET A JOB BEFORE YOU SETTLED DOWN SO YOU COULD EARN MONEY AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON.
ANNIE:ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.I DIDN'T THINK I BELIEVED IN MARRIAGE UNTIL I MET BRIAN.BRIAN'S NOT LIKE ANY OTHER GUY I'VE EVER KNOWN.I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO HIM.AND I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE MY IDENTITY WITH HIM BECAUSE HE'S NOT SOME OVERPOWERING, MACHO GUY.HE'S LIKE YOU, DAD! EXCEPT HE'S BRILLIANT.HE HAPPENS TO LOVE THAT I'M GOING TO BE AN ARCHITECT.HE WANTS ME TO DESIGN A HOUSE FOR US TO LIVE IN.HE SAID HE'D MOVE ANYWHERE I GOT A JOB.GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT, GEORGE.I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY SOME APE WHO WANTS ME TO WEAR GO-GO BOOTS AND AN APRON.I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'LL LOVE HIM.HE'S A GENIUS.AND SWEET.AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
NINA:WHAT DOES BRIAN DO?
GEORGE:WHO'S BRIAN?
NINA:OH!
GEORGE:I FORGOT HIS NAME!
ANNIE:HE'S AN INDEPENDENT COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT.
GEORGE:INDEPENDENT?
ANNIE:YES.
GEORGE:THAT'S CODE FOR UNEMPLOYED! THIS IS PERFECT! YOU MEET AN UNEMPLOYED, AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT NON-APE THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SUPPORT! I SUPPOSE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO HIRE HIM AND FIRE SOME HARD WORKING GUY WITH THREE KIDS BECAUSE MY SON-IN-LAW, THE "INDEPENDENT COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT," CAN'T GET A JOB ANYWHERE ELSE! NO WONDER HE'LL MOVE ANYWHERE YOU GET A JOB! YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED AND THAT'S IT AND THAT'S FINAL! AND I DON'T LIKE YOU CALLING ME GEORGE! I MEAN, WHEN DID THIS START?
ANNIE:DADDY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GEORGE:WHAT? ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT THIS?
NINA:GEORGE, PLEASE.WOULD YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A LUNATIC FATHER AND GO OUT AND TALK TO HER BEFORE SHE RUNS OUT THAT DOOR, MARRIES THIS KID AND WE NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!
GEORGE:ALL RIGHT.KID? HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S A KID? HE COULD BE FORTY-FIVE YEARS OLD.
ANNIE:AN INDEPENDENT COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT DOES MEAN HE'S AN UNEMPLOYABLE NON-APE.BRIAN HAPPENS TO BE A COMPUTER GENIUS.COMPANIES SEND HIM ALL OVER THE WORLD HOOKING UP THESE COMPLEX SYSTEMS.MAJOR BANKS AND CORPORATIONS SEND HIM TO TOKYO AND BRAZIL AND GENEVA.HE'S A GENIUS.
GEORGE:YOU MENTIONED THAT.HOW OLD IS THIS GENIUS?
ANNIE:TWENTY-SIX, NOT FORTY-FIVE.YOU GUYS STILL THINK I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU'RE ONE ROOM AWAY.
GEORGE:IF YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH, I KNOW I'LL LOVE HIM, TOO.BRIAN?
ANNIE:MACKENZIE.
GEORGE:BRIAN MACKENZIE.
ANNIE:YEAH.
GEORGE:CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HIM.
ANNIE:GOOD, 'CAUSE HE'LL BE HERE IN AN HOUR TO MEET YOU.
GEORGE:I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD FOR A LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE?
ANNIE:DADDY, I'M WEARING HEALS.
GEORGE:COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.*ANNIE AND GEORGE PLAY BASKETBALL.
GEORGE:YOU'RE NOT REALLY GETTING MARRIED, ARE YOU?
ANNIE:DAD, STOP IT!
NINA:SO CAN YOU SEE HIM? WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?
GEORGE:HE JUST DROVE UP?
NINA:AND?
GEORGE:HE DROVE TOO FAST.
NINA:OH WAIT.SO GEORGE, DO YOU WANT TO MEET HIM?
GEORGE:DO I WANT TO MEET HIM?
NINA:OH, HELLO.HI!
BRIAN:HI.I'M BRIAN MACKENZIE.
NINA:GOOD.I'M NINA BANKS.
BRIAN:YES, I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM YOUR PICTURE.
NINA:YES, COME ON IN.
BRIAN:THE ONE ANNIE HAD WITH HER IN ROME.
NINA:YES.OH, GOOD.COME IN.
BRIAN:OKAY.:HELLO, MR.BANKS.
GEORGE:IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER HATED THE SOUND OF MY OWN NAME.
GEORGE:HI.
BRIAN:I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.IT'S GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU, SIR!
GEORGE:"SIR." TWO WORDS NOW CROSSED MY MIND:"BROWN" AND "NOSE."
BRIAN:ANNIE TALKS ABOUT YOU SO MUCH, I FEEL LIKE I ALREADY KNOW YOU.
ANNIE:BRIAN?
BRIAN:OH, ANNIE.
ANNIE:SO, THIS IS HIM!
NINA:OH, HE'S JUST, JUST A.
BRIAN:A LITTLE NERVOUS.THIS IS ONE OF THOSE SITUATIONS YOU READ ABOUT.YOU KNOW, MEETING THE IN-LAWS.YOU TWO SEEM GREAT.I'M SURE I HAVE NOTHING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT.BUT, UH.STILL.
GEORGE:LET'S.LET'S, UH.GO TO THE UH.UH.
BRIAN:GREAT!
NINA:I THINK HE'S ADORABLE.
GEORGE:I DON'T LIKE HIM.
NINA:OH, GEORGE!
GEORGE:HE'S WEARING NIKES!
ANNIE:MOM, WHERE'S MATTY?
NINA:OH, HE FELL ASLEEP WATCHING TV.
ANNIE:OH WELL, YOU'LL MEET HIM TOMORROW.
NINA:SO.UH.HOW DID YOU TWO.UH.MEET?
ANNIE:OH, WE WERE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE AT THIS REVIVAL HOUSE IN ROME FOR A MIDNIGHT SHOW OF "BRINGING UP BABY." WE KEPT HEARING EACH OTHER LAUGH.
BRIAN:AND AT ALL THE SAME PLACES.
ANNIE:YEAH.AND WHEN IT WAS OVER, I PICKED HIM UP.
BRIAN:OH, NO, NO, NO.I WENT OVER TO YOUR TO ASK DIRECTIONS AND ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND.
ANNIE:AND THAT WAS IT.FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS WE NEVER LEFT EACH OTHER'S SIGHT.WE WENT TO ALL THESE MUSEUMS, ALL THESE GREAT CONCERTS, THE OPERA.WE TRAVELED TO THE COUNTRY.REMEMBER THAT PLACE WE STAYED IN TUSCANY?
BRIAN:THE ONE WITH THE UH.? SUFFICE IT TO STAY IT WASN'T A FOUR STAR HOTEL.YOU HAVE A VERY BRAVE DAUGHTER!
GEORGE:UH, BRIAN.WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT YOU DO? ANNIE WAS SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT COMPUTERS?
BRIAN:OH YEAH, UM.I'M AN INDEPENDENT COMMUNICATIONS CONSULTANT.
GEORGE:YEAH, YEAH.THAT PART I HEARD.
BRIAN:IT SOUNDS FAKE, RIGHT? LIKE I DON'T HAVE A REAL JOB?
NINA:NO.NO.WE WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
BRIAN:THAT'S WHAT MY DAD SAID WHEN HE FIRST HEARD WHAT I WAS DOING.BUT, UH.WHAT IT IS, IN THIS CASE, PACIFIC INTERNATIONAL BANK SENT ME TO ROME TO HOOK UP AN X-DOT CONNECTION TO THEIR EUROPEAN SUBSIDIARY.UH, ALL EUROPEAN COMPUTERS COMMUNICATE ON THE DOT 25 NETWORK.AND UH, SINCE PACIFIC INTERNATIONAL IS AN L.A.-BASED FIRM, THEY WANTED TO INTERFACE WITH STANDARD EUROPEAN PROTOCOL.SO, I SET 'EM UP.
NINA:MM!
GEORGE:AND UH, WHY ARE YOU "INDEPENDENT"? WHAT WAS THAT?
ANNIE:BECAUSE NO ONE CAN AFFORD TO KEEP HIM ON STAFF.
BRIAN:WELL, UH.THAT'S TRUE, BASICALLY.YOU KNOW, DRIVING DOWN HERE, I TRIED TO PUT MYSELF IN YOUR PLACE.YOUR DAUGHTER COMES HOME AFTER SPENDING FOUR MONTHS IN ROME, AND UH, I'M SURE YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE HER.AND SHE SHOCKS YOU WITH THE NEWS THAT SHE'S GETTING MARRIED.AND TO SOMEBODY YOU'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.I'M SURE THAT WAS PRETTY."HEAVY".TO USE A WORD FROM YOUR GENERATION.I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I'M AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN ENGAGED BEFORE.I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE.AND, UH.I THINK ANNIE IS THE GREATEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET.AND I CAN'T WAIT TO MARRY HER AND ONE DAY.HAVE CHILDREN.AND GRANDCHILDREN.AND I'M GOING TO DO MY BEST TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF HER DREAMS.AND SHE'S A VERY GIFTED ARCHITECT.AND UM.I'M JUST THRILLED THAT I MET HER! I LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER.THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR HER ARE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE.AND I'M HERE TO STAY.
NINA:OH, HONEY!
ANNIE:MOM!
BRIAN:THAT'S OKAY MR.BANKS, WE DON'T HAVE TO HUG.
GEORGE:WELL.UM.MAYBE LATER.
NINA:WELL THAT WAS JUST A.THAT WAS JUST ABOUT THE BEST THING I EVER HEARD ANYBODY SAY!
BRIAN:WELL, I MEANT IT.
NINA:GOOD.
ANNIE:LISTEN, I WANT TO TAKE BRIAN OUT FOR A DRIVE AND SHOW HIM AROUND SAN MARINO.
NINA:OKAY, HONEY.GOOD.
GEORGE:ANNIE, IT'S A LITTLE NIPPY OUT.YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT ON A SWEATER.
ANNIE:OH, DAD, IT'S OKAY.I'M KIND OF WARM.
GEORGE:STILL, THERE'S A CHILL IN THE AIR AND YOU'VE BEEN ON A PLANE.
ANNIE:DAD, I'M FINE.
BRIAN:ANNIE, IT IS KINDA COLD OUT.
ANNIE:IT IS?
BRIAN:YEAH.
ANNIE:ALL RIGHT.THANKS.I'LL GET MY JACKET.
GEORGE:RIGHT THEN I REALIZED, MY DAY HAD PASSED.SHE'LL ALWAYS LOVE ME, OF COURSE, BUT NOT IN THE SAME WAY.I WAS NO LONGER THE MAN IN MY LITTLE GIRL'S LIFE.I WAS LIKE AN OLD SHOE.THE KIND WE MANUFACTURE AND GET ALL EXCITED ABOUT, THEN AFTER A FEW YEARS DISCONTINUE.THAT WAS ME NOW.MR.DISCONTINUED.
ANNIE:MOM? DON'T WAIT UP, OKAY? WE MIGHT STOP FOR A CAPUCCINO.
NINA:OH, OKAY FINE.WELL, GOOD NIGHT, BRIAN.
BRIAN:GOOD NIGHT.GOOD NIGHT, MR.BANKS.
ANNIE:OH, YOU CAN CALL HIM GEORGE.OR DAD!
GEORGE:GEORGE WILL BE FINE.
BRIAN:OKAY.I'LL SAY IT NEXT TIME I SEE YOU.
GEORGE:DRIVE CAREFULLY.AND DON'T FORGET TO FASTEN YOUR CONDOM.
ANNIE:DAD!
GEORGE:SEAT BELT! I MEANT.I MEANT SEAT BELT.
NINA:HONEY, I'M PUTTING YOUR FATHER TO BED.THIS HAS BEEN A VERY BIG NIGHT FOR HIM.
GEORGE:BYE.
NINA:GOOD NIGHT.HAVE FUN.
GEORGE:BYE.
NINA:BYE-BYE! HAVE FUN!
NINA:THIS IS A GREAT KID.
GEORGE:IT'LL NEVER LAST.
NINA:WANNA BET?
GEORGE:NINA.ANNIE'S MUCH TOO SPIRITED FOR THIS KID.HE'S TOTALLY WRONG FOR HER.I GIVE IT TWO MONTHS, TOPS.ONE MONTH.
NINA:THIS IS THE RIGHT GUY FOR ANNIE, GEORGE.I'M TELLIN' YOU, I FEEL IT IN MY BONES.I MEAN, WE'RE TWO LUCKY PARENTS, GEORGE.
GEORGE:LUCKY? OH! WHAT ABOUT HIS LAUGH? IT WAS SUCH A GIVE AWAY.IT WAS SO PHONY WITH HIS "HA! HA! HA! HEE! HEE! HEE!"
NINA:I THOUGHT IT WAS TOTALLY SINCERE.
GEORGE:OH, PLEASE.WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE REHEARSED SPEECH HE GAVE THAT WAS RIGHT OUT OF A BOOK."HOW TO GREASE YOUR FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW."
NINA:YOU'RE OFF HERE, GEORGE, REALLY.I THOUGHT IT WAS COMPLETELY FROM HIS HEART.WHY DO YOU THINK I CRIED?
GEORGE:GOOD QUESTION.I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER OF YOU CRIED.I'M LOSING MY VOICE.ARE MY GLANDS SWOLLEN?
NINA:LET ME SEE.NO.NO, HONEY.NO.
GEORGE:AND WHAT ABOUT THE WAY HE KEPT TOUCHING HER?
NINA:WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
GEORGE:WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT DO I MEAN? HE COULDN'T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF HER.
NINA:OH, YES.KIND OF LIKE WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED, EXCEPT THAT WASN'T ALL YOU COULDN'T KEEP OFF ME.
GEORGE:THAT WAS DIFFERENT.AND WE CERTAINLY NEVER ACTED THAT WAY IN YOUR PARENT'S HOUSE.
NINA:OH! YOU WANT ME TO NAME ALL THE ROOMS WE DID IT IN AT MY PARENT'S HOUSE?
GEORGE:THAT WAS DIFFERENT.WE WERE LIKE TWO IMBECILES.THIS IS OUR CHILD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
NINA:OUR CHILD? OH, GEORGE.YOU KNOW, I STILL THINK YOU SEE ANNIE AS A SEVEN YEAR-OLD GIRL IN PIGTAILS!
GEORGE:WELL, YOU KNOW? THAT JUST SHOWS HOW YOU MUCH YOU KNOW ABOUT ME BECAUSE THAT IS NOT AT ALL HOW I SEE HER.RIGHT.A SEVEN YEAR-OLD WITH PIGTAILS.I MEAN, HERE'S THE THING.WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS BRIAN REALLY IS.
NINA:OH?
GEORGE:AND IF THAT'S HIS REAL NAME.I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE ALREADY HAS A WIFE.YOU READ ABOUT THESE CASES EVERYDAY.MEN WHO HAVE WIVES AND FAMILIES STASHED ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.HE COULD BE A PROFESSIONAL CON ARTIST WHO MEETS INNOCENTS ABROAD, AND GIVES THEM THIS SONG AND DANCE ABOUT BEING AN INDEPENDENT.WHATEVER THAT WAS.AND THEN SKIPS OUT AFTER BILKING THEM FOR ALL THEY'RE WORTH.WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NINA:I'M GETTING READY FOR BED.
GEORGE:THEN I SUPPOSE THAT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED THAT I BELIEVE I REMEMBER SEEING SOMEONE WHO LOOKED LIKE BRIAN'S TWIN ON "AMERICA'S MOST WANTED"?
NINA:YOU'RE RIGHT.I'M NOT.GEORGE? GEORGE, I THOUGHT HE WAS GREAT.I LIKED HIM A LOT.AND I'M REALLY HAPPY.GEORGE.WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING THAT FACE? AND I'M VERY HAPPY FOR ANNIE.AND I'M EXCITED FOR HER.THIS IS A BIG DEAL AND I THINK THAT WE SHOULD AT LEAST HUG.THIS IS GREAT NEWS.OH! A WEDDING! FATHER OF THE BRIDE.CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?0
GEORGE:FORTY-EIGHT HOURS LATER, THE WEDDING WAS STILL ON.WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO BEL- AIR TO MEET BRIAN'S FOLKS.
GEORGE:I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO HAVE BRUNCH WITH TOTAL STRANGERS.
NINA:BECAUSE THEIR SON IS MARRYING OUR DAUGHTER AND IT'S NOT AN UNUSUAL CUSTOM MEETING THE IN-LAWS.
GEORGE:YOU KNOW, THAT'S ANOTHER THING.I HATE THAT EXPRESSION, "IN-LAWS." WHAT DOES IT MEAN, ANYWAY? WE'RE LEGALLY BOUND TO THESE PEOPLE? I DON'T WANT TO BE "IN-LAWED." ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN BEL-AIR.I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE HAVE BRUNCH AND LIVE IN BEL-AIR?
NINA:RICH PEOPLE.
GEORGE:THEY PROBABLY LIVE IN THE ONE SHACK IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THESE MANSIONS.
NINA:NICE MOOD, GEORGE.
GEORGE:WHAT? I'M IN A GOOD MOOD.
NINA:OKAY, I THINK THIS IS IT.YEAH.NICE SHACK, BABE.
GEORGE:WORSE.IT'S THE BIGGEST HOUSE ON THE STREET.NOW WE'RE RELATED TO PRETENTIOUS SNOBS.JUST WHAT WE NEED.
NINA:YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME, GEORGE.WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE "IN-LAWED."
GEORGE:WELL, IT REALLY SHOULDN'T MATTER HOW I LOOK.WE'RE NOT HERE TO WIN THEIR APPROVAL.JUST BECAUSE YOU CHANGED YOUR OUTFIT FIVE TIMES.
NINA:OH, AND YOU DIDN'T TRY ON NINE DIFFERENT SHIRTS?
GEORGE:TWO.
NINA:TWO? I SEE.
GEORGE:TWO LONG SLEEVE AND TWO SHORT SLEEVE.JOHN &
JOANNA:HI! NICE TO MEET YOU.I'M JOHN.I'M JOANNA.WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE.COME ON IN, PLEASE.
GEORGE:ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS THE SIZE OF THIS PLACE.WE COULD HAVE PARKED OUR WHOLE HOUSE IN THE FOYER.
JOHN:OH, WHAT A NERVE-WRACKING THING, MEETING YOUR FUTURE IN-LAWS.WHAT A RELIEF.YOU TWO LOOK PERFECTLY NORMAL.
NINA:OH, WELL, I AM.
JOANNA:I HAVE TO TELL YOU, WE GOT SO NERVOUS ABOUT TODAY, ABOUT MEETING THE TWO OF YOU, I MUST HAVE TRIED ON THREE DIFFERENT OUTFITS.
NINA:OH?
JOHN:I CHANGED MY SHIRT FOUR TIMES.CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYONE BEING THAT JERKY?
JOANNA:SO COME ON IN.I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE LUNCH IN HERE.
JOHN:MARTA, ESTAS SON NUESTRAS IN-LAWS.GEORGE AND NINA BANKS.
MARTA:MUCHO GUSTO.
NINA:HELLO.
JOANNA:OH, AND HERE'S THE REST OF OUR FAMILY.
JOHN:OH, DON'T WORRY.THEY LOOK LIKE KILLERS BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY QUITE FRIENDLY.AS LONG AS YOU'RE RELAXED, WHY, THEY'RE RELAXED.
GEORGE:HI, PUPPY, PUPPY, PUPPY!
JOHN:ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.THAT'S ENOUGH.COME ON.RELEASE!
JOANNA:WELL, WHY DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?
JOHN:PLEASE.
NINA:OH, THANK YOU.
JOHN:ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.GEORGE.HONEY.
JOANNA:SWEET HEART.:I DON'T KNOW IF THE KIDS TOLD YOU, BUT WE WERE OVER IN EUROPE ON BUSINESS AND WE STOPPED IN ROME TO SEE BRIAN.SO WE GOT TO SPEND A FEW DAYS WITH ANNIE.OH, BOY.WE JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH HER IMMEDIATELY.
GEORGE:ISN'T SHE GREAT?
JOANNA:YES.WE JUST COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT THIS.
JOHN:HOW DID YOU.UH.TAKE THE NEWS, GEORGE?
GEORGE:ME? UH, TRUTHFULLY, I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED.
JOHN:I WAS SHOCKED.
GEORGE:SO WAS I.
JOHN:AFTER ALL, THEY'D ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER A FEW MONTHS.
GEORGE:EXACTLY.AND ANNIE IS JUST FINISHING UP SCHOOL.
JOHN:ABSOLUTELY.OH, BELIEVE ME, I TOSSED AND TURNED OVER THIS ONE, BUT.THE BOTTOM LINE IS, THEY'RE IN LOVE.THEY OVER TWENTY-ONE, AND WHETHER THEY'RE RUSHING INTO THIS OR NOT IS MAYBE NOT FOR US TO SAY.
GEORGE:RIGHT.NOT FOR US TO SAY.WE'RE ONLY THEIR PARENTS.I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THESE VERY WORDS OUT LOUD WHEN HE HIT ME WITH.
JOHN:YES, SOONER OR LATER YOU JUST HAVE TO LET YOUR KIDS GO AND HOPE YOU BROUGHT 'EM UP RIGHT.GEORGE.NINA.DARLING.
GEORGE:THIS GUY WAS MAKING A LITTLE TOO MUCH SENSE FOR ME.SUDDENLY, MY SHIRT COLLAR FELT LIKE IT WAS STARTING TO STRANGLE ME.
JOHN:TO GEORGE AND NINA.AND A FUTURE OF WONDERFUL MEMORIES.FIRST, THE WEDDING OF OUR CHILDREN.AND THE HAPPINESS WE'LL SHARE WATCHING THEIR LIVES.THEN, SHARING THE JOY OF OUR GRANDCHILDREN TOGETHER.BIRTHDAY PARTIES.GRADUATION.
GEORGE:NOW I KNEW WHERE THEY GOT THE EXPRESSION, "LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON." I ALSO KNEW I NEEDED SOME AIR.
GEORGE:CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE THE RESTROOM IS?
JOANNA:OH, ACTUALLY THE ONE DOWN HERE IS A MESS.WE'RE REMODELING.WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE ONE AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.IT'S THE SEVENTH DOOR ON THE LEFT.
GEORGE:SECOND?
JOANNA:SEVENTH.
JOHN:SEVENTH.
GEORGE:SEVENTH.
GEORGE::RELENT! RECOIL.REVERSE!
JOHN:WELL, I HOPE GEORGE HASN'T GOTTEN LOST UP THERE.
NINA:OH NO, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
JOHN:OKAY.
NINA:THAT'S SUCH A LOVELY SCULPTURE.
JOHN:OH.DOESN'T IT HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL SENSE OF MOTION?
JOANNA:WE GOT IT IN DENMARK.QUITE A LOT OF MY FAMILY IS FROM COPENHAGEN.
NINA:IS THAT RIGHT?
JOHN:OH, YEAH.DOESN'T IT HAVE A WONDERFUL SENSE OF BALANCE?
NINA:OH, IT'S AMAZING.
JOHN:I WAS GOING TO PUT IT IN THE GARDEN.ACTUALLY, BRIAN SPENT QUITE A FEW SUMMERS IN DENMARK.HE NOW SPEAKS BETTER DANISH THAN JOANNA.
NINA:IS THAT A FACT?
JOHN:AND WE'RE PLANNING A TRIP BACK THIS SUMMER.
NINA:UM.I THINK THIS IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL SPREAD HERE.
JOANNA:OH, THANK YOU.
JOHN:WELL, SHOULD WE WAIT FOR GEORGE?.MAYBE I SHOULD CHECK ON GEORGE?
NINA:NO.
GEORGE::RELEASE!
NINA:OH, MAN.4
ANNIE:WOW! NO KIDDING? REALLY? IT WENT GREAT?
GEORGE:BETTER THAN GREAT.I MEAN, IT JUST.JUST.COULDN'T HAVE GONE BETTER!
ANNIE:GOD, I'M SO RELIEVED.I MEAN, WHO KNOWS WHAT CAN HAPPEN AT THESE THINGS, YOU KNOW? NOW I FEEL LIKE THE WEDDING'S OFFICIALLY ON.DAD, THAT LOOKS SO GOOD.THIS IS GREAT.
NINA:OH, BRIAN'S MOM CALLED WITH THE NAMES OF HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY.
GEORGE:IS THIS IS A JOKE?
NINA:NOT ONLY IS THIS NOT A JOKE, BUT EIGHT OF THEM ARE FROM COPENHAGEN AND IT'S THE BRIDE'S FAMILY'S RESPONSIBILITY TO.
GEORGE:DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A ROUND-TRIP TICKET FROM DENMARK COSTS?
MATT:TRY EIGHT ROUND-TRIP TICKETS.
NINA:WELL, ACTUALLY IT'S NINE.YOU SEE, JOANNA'S COUSIN GITTE IS APPARENTLY A RATHER LARGE WOMAN, SO SHE NEEDS TWO SEATS.
GEORGE:SHE CAN LOP INTO THE AISLE FOR ALL I CARE BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I'M PAYING FOR.
BRIAN:HELLO EVERYONE.SORRY I'M LATE.
NINA:HI!
ANNIE:HEY, SWEETIE.
GEORGE:HELLO.
MATT:HEY, DUDE.
BRIAN:OH, HERE YOU ARE.
NINA:OH.WELL, THANK YOU!
BRIAN:SLEV TAK.THAT'S "YOU'RE WELCOME" IN DANISH.
NINA:OH, THANKS.
BRIAN:THIS LOOKS GREAT.HEAR YOU'RE A WHIZ AT THE BARBECUE, DAD.
NINA:WELL.SO HAVE YOU TWO GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO WHAT KIND OF WEDDING YOU WANT?
ANNIE:WELL, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT.
NINA:YES? AND WHAT DO YOU THINK? BIG? SMALL?
ANNIE:WELL, IT CAN'T BE TOO BIG.WE DON'T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS.
GEORGE:SO WE'RE TALKING IN THE SMALL VICINITY RANGE?
NINA:WELL, SHE DIDN'T SAY SMALL.SHE SAID NOT TOO BIG.
GEORGE:YEAH, BUT NOTHING FANCY OR OVERBLOWN, RIGHT?
ANNIE:RIGHT.
GEORGE:RIGHT.SO, KIND OF THE LESS IS MORE THEORY, HUH, ANNIE?
ANNIE:BASICALLY.
GEORGE:WELL, THE REASON I'M ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS IS I HAVE A GREAT IDEA WHERE WE CAN HAVE THIS LOVELY, NOT SMALL, BUT NOT TOO BIG WEDDING.
NINA:YOU DO? WHERE?
GEORGE:AT OUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT.THE PLACE WE'VE BEEN EATING AT FOR FIFTEEN YEARS.THE BEST.THE STEAK PIT!
ANNIE:DAD, GET SERIOUS.
MATT:I DON'T THINK YOU WANT THE WORD "PIT" ON A WEDDING INVITATION, GEORGE.
ANNIE:REALLY, DAD.A RIB JOINT WITH SAWDUST ON THE FLOOR ISN'T EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND FOR MY WEDDING.NO OFFENSE.
GEORGE:WELL, EXCUSE ME.WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? THE BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL?
ANNIE:NO.ACTUALLY, WHAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE IS MY WEDDING IN A CHURCH AND HAVE THE RECEPTION HERE.THAT'S WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR.
GEORGE:HERE? (GEORGE VISUALIZES RECEPTION BARBECUE IN THE BACKYARD-VO:HERE'S THE BRIDE BURGER AND GROOM BURGER, AND UH, GO ON OVER AND SEE THE JUGGLER! ANNIE:A DREAM WEDDING! A BARBECUE WEDDING!) THIS IS A BETTER IDEA THAN THE STEAK PIT!
ANNIE:YEAH.
GEORGE:WE'LL GET SOME PICNIC TABLES AND CREPE PAPER AND BALLOONS.YOU KNOW, AND INVITE ALL OUR BEST PALS.I'LL MAKE MY FAMOUS GUACAMOLE.A WEDDING AT HOME.THIS IS A GREAT IDEA.5
NINA:GREAT IDEA.PICNIC TABLES, CREPE PAPER, BALLOONS.YOU AT THE BARBECUE.OH, GEORGE.
GEORGE:WHAT DON'T YOU LIKE ABOUT THAT?
NINA:WHY HAVE YOU BEEN ACTING SO CRAZY SINCE THE MOMENT ANNIE TOLD YOU SHE WAS GETTING MARRIED?
GEORGE:I HAVEN'T BEEN ACTING CRAZY.I'VE SIMPLY BEEN ACTING LIKE ANY NORMAL, RED-BLOODED, AMERICAN DAD.
NINA:NORMAL? UH-HUH.OKAY.FALLING INTO THE MACKENZIE'S POOL.SUGGESTING THE STEAK PIT AS A WEDDING RECEPTION.OH, WATCHING "AMERICA'S MOST WANTED" EVERY NIGHT LOOKING FOR BRIAN'S FACE, AND NOW THIS PICNIC SCENARIO? GEORGE, A WEDDING IS A BIG DEAL.EVERYBODY SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND THIS BUT YOU.AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, NOW DON'T GO NUTS WHEN I TELL YOU THIS, BUT WHEN BRIAN'S MOM CALLED WITH THEIR LIST, SHE SUGGESTED THAT THEY MIGHT JUST WANT TO PITCH IN AND HELP WITH THE COST OF THE WEDDING.
GEORGE:NO.HEY! WE MAY NOT HAVE A HOUSE THE SIZE OF RHODE ISLAND BUT WE'RE NOT POVERTY STRICKEN.WE CAN CERTAINLY AFFORD TO GIVE OUR DAUGHTER A PROPER WEDDING.
NINA:PROPER? NOT YOU IN A CHEF'S HAT, RIGHT GEORGE?
GEORGE:WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A CHEF'S HAT? WHEN DID THIS COME UP?
NINA:YEAH, BUT I KNOW YOU.I'M CLOSE.OH LOOK, I JUST REALLY SAW THIS WHOLE THING DIFFERENTLY.I WANTED TO CALL A WEDDING COORDINATOR TO MAKE THE WHOLE THING REALLY, REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND YOU WANT TO CALL GABE AT THE STEAK PIT!
GEORGE:WAIT A MINUTE.A WEDDING COORDINATOR? WHAT'S A WEDDING COORDINATOR?
NINA:A PERSON WHO COORDINATES WEDDINGS.
GEORGE:WHAT'S TO COORDINATE?
NINA:WELL, THERE'S THE INVITATIONS, AND THE FLOWERS, THE FOOD, THE BAND, THE PHOTOGRAPHER, GEORGE, WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THAT LOOK AGAIN? A LOT OF PEOPLE HIRE WEDDING COORDINATORS.
GEORGE:NINA, YOU AND I RUN TWO SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSES.WE CAN CERTAINLY PULL TOGETHER ONE SMALLISH WEDDING.NOW WE DON'T NEED SOME FANCY WEDDING COORDINATOR.
NINA:OKAY, GEORGE.LET'S JUST FORGET IT, OKAY? BECAUSE I JUST REALLY CAN'T TAKE THIS.I'M NOT USED TO ALL THIS ARGUING.
GEORGE:I'M NOT ARGUING.
NINA:SO JUST.DO ME A FAVOR, OKAY GEORGE? JUST GO ON UPSTAIRS AND I'LL FINISH UP DOWN HERE.
GEORGE:ALL RIGHT.FINE.FINE.I'LL GO UPSTAIRS.HOWEVER, I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO WHAT'S HIS NAME DOWN THE STREET.HIS DAUGHTER GOT MARRIED AND THE THING PRACTICALLY BROKE HIM.REMEMBER?
NINA:I REMEMBER.
GEORGE:YOU AND I COULD END UP SHUFFLING ALONG THE SIDEWALK IN OUR BATHROBES.THAT WAS A JOKE.
NINA:HILARIOUS!
GEORGE:OH, ALL RIGHT.I'LL GO.I'LL MEET THE WEDDING COORDINATOR.YOU KNOW I DON'T WANT TO, BUT I'LL GO.IF YOU STILL WANT ME TO GO, ALL RIGHT?
NINA:MM HM.
GEORGE:OKAY?
NINA:OKAY.6
GEORGE:NOW LET ME DO THE TALKING, GIRLS, OKAY?
ANNIE:HUH?
GEORGE:WELL, I NEGOTIATE BETTER THAN YOU.NOW WHAT'S THIS GUY'S NAME?
NINA:FRANCK.
GEORGE:FRANK.
ANNIE:FRANCK.
GEORGE:FRANCK?
ANNIE:FRANCK.OH, THIS IS IT.
NINA:OKAY.HERE WE GO.
ANNIE:MOM!
NINA:OH! THIS IS JUST AMAZING.OH MY, ANNIE.LOOK.LOOK AT THIS TRIM.ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? PEARLS.
ANNIE:OH, MOM.LOOK AT THIS ONE.
NINA:ANNIE?
ANNIE:YEAH?
NINA:DO YOU LIKE THIS PLATE SET?
ANNIE:OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
HOWARD:THAT CHINA ALSO COMES IN A WONDERFUL SARAH LEE!
NINA:HI.YOU MUST BE FRANCK?
HOWARD:I WISH.I'M FRANCK'S ASSISTANT.HOWARD WEINSTEIN.
NINA:WELL, I'M NINA BANKS AND THIS IS ANNIE.
ANNIE:HI.
NINA:THE BRIDE.AND GEORGE, MY HUSBAND.
GEORGE:HOW DO YOU DO?
HOWARD:MAY I OFFER ANYONE ANY REFRESHMENTS? PELAGRINO? EXPRESSO? CHAMPAGNE?
NINA:OH, UH.
GEORGE:NO.
NINA:NO.
HOWARD:I'LL ALERT THE BOSS THAT YOU'RE HERE.LOOK AROUND.HAVE FUN.
NINA:OH! OH, THIS IS SO GREAT! ANNIE?
ANNIE:YEAH.
NINA:WOULDN'T THIS BE PERFECT FOR YOU?
ANNIE:OH, IT'S GORGEOUS.LOOK HOW IT GOES WITH THE CRYSTAL.
FRANCK:MR.AND MRS.BANKS AND THE LOVELY BRIDE! HELLO! HELLO! IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.HOWARD HAS OFFERED YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK, I HOPE?NINA &
ANNIE:OH YEAH.
FRANCK:OH! THE BRIDE! THE BRIDE! THE BRIDE!
GEORGE:RIGHT AWAY I REALIZED THIS WAS A MISTAKE OF GARGANTUAN PROPORTIONS.THIS GUY WAS GOING TO COORDINATE OUR WEDDING? HOW? WITH SUBTITLES?
FRANCK:OH, PLEASE.COME WITH ME AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT YOUR BIG DAY! THE BIG DAY FOR THE BRIDE! PAPA-LA, COME ON! OH, SIT DOWN.ON MY OWN DESIGN.I DESIGNED THAT, IT'S VERY NICE, I THINK.NOW, SO YOU HAVE NOT MADE UP YOUR LIST YET, BUT YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT THE WEDDING AT HOME ON JANUARY 6TH, RIGHT?
ANNIE:UH-HUH.
NINA:YES.
GEORGE:EXCUSE ME?
NINA:YES.WE WOULD.WE'D LIKE A WEDDING AT HOME ON JANUARY THE 6TH.
FRANCK:MM.I LOVE THE WEDDINGS AT THE HOMES.THEY'RE VERY PERSONABLE.VERY WARM AND VERY COMFORTABLE.SO, JANUARY 6TH, GIVE US SEVEN MONTHS.OH-OH, HELLO! THAT'S FIVE MONTHS! FIVE MONTHS NOT MUCH, BUT.THAT DON'T BOTHER ME SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S A LITTLE BIT TIGHT BUT WE CAN DO IT AND IT WILL BE SPECTACULAR! SO NOW, LET'S SEE.THIS IS WHAT I SUGGEST.I SUGGEST THAT WE SELECT A CAKE FIRST.
NINA:OKAY.
FRANCK:BECAUSE THE CAKE MORE OFTEN DETERMINES WHAT KIND OF WEDDING THAT YOU END UP HAVING.SO LET'S JUST CHOOSE A CAKE, OKAY?
NINA:OKAY.
GEORGE:CHOOSE.CHOOSE.CHOOSE THE WHAT?
ANNIE:THE CAKE, DAD.
FRANCK:THANK YOU DEAR ASSISTANT.THIS ONE.SO THIS IS A VERY POPULAR CAKE WITH MANY OF THE FASHIONABLE WEDDINGS, YOU KNOW? AND THIS.I JUST DON'T DO ANYMORE.AND THIS IS FABULOUS.
NINA:OH.OH, THAT IS INCREDIBLE! ANNIE, THAT'S JUST LIKE THE ONE WE SAW IN THE MAGAZINE.
ANNIE:DO YOU LIKE IT DAD?
GEORGE:WELL, WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT DOLLARS? $1,200?
FRANCK:WELL, MR.BANKS.THIS IS A VERY REASONABLE PRICE FOR A CAKE OF THIS MAGNITUDE.
GEORGE:A CAKE, FRANCK, IS MADE OF FLOUR AND WATER.MY FIRST CAR DIDN'T COST $1,200.
FRANCK:WELL, WELCOME TO THE NINETIES, MR.BANKS!
GEORGE:NOT ONLY DID I NOT UNDERSTAND A SYLLABLE THIS GUY WAS SAYING, NOW I HAD THE FEELING HE WAS PUTTING ME DOWN.
NINA:EXCUSE ME, BUT UM.FRANCK, COULD WE PLEASE HAVE A SECOND?
FRANCK:OF COURSE.TAKE SOME SECONDS.HOWARD, LET'S RETURN CALLS.7
NINA:ALL RIGHT, GEORGE.WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
GEORGE:DO YOU?
NINA:NO, I LIKE HIM.I THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE THIS A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.
ANNIE:DON'T LOOK AT ME.YOU GUYS DECIDE.
NINA:GIVE THE MAN A CHANCE, GEORGE.PLEASE? ANNIE, DO YOU LIKE THIS CAKE?
ANNIE:IT IS INCREDIBLE, DAD.
GEORGE:WELL, ALL RIGHT.BUT LET'S JUST.
NINA:WE'RE GOING TO, GEORGE.WE'RE GOING TO HOLD THINGS DOWN.
ANNIE:WE JUST.WE WON'T GO NUTS.
GEORGE:THANK YOU.FRANCK?
FRANCK:COMING!
GEORGE:WE'LL TAKE THE CAKE.
FRANCK:OH, GOOD.GOOD.DON'T WORRY, MR.BANKS.I'M GOING TO BRING THE CREW OVER TO THE HOUSE AND GIVE IT EVERY THING THAT WE HAVE IN THE ONCE OVER DEPARTMENT AND IN THE END YOU'LL BE VERY, VERY HAPPY.TRUST ME.YOU JUST SMILE AWAY.NOW, INTERESTING IDEA.
NINA:YES?
FRANCK:WE'VE GOT TO DETERMINE THE THEME AND COLOR OF THE WEDDING.THIS IS HOW I SEE IT.I THINK WE GO VERY ELEGANT INSIDE THE CHURCH, YOU KNOW?
GEORGE:WITH ONE SWIFT MOVE, I'D BEEN CUT OUT OF THE DEAL.ANNIE, NINA, AND FRANCK WERE IN CHARGE NOW.
FRANCK:AND BEAUTIFUL CHINA.SPODE! AND CRYSTAL TO DROP OVER DEAD FOR!
GEORGE:OLD DAD WAS HISTORY.8
GEORGE:A FEW DAYS LATER I WAS AT WORK, RELIEVED FOR ONCE NOT TO BE TALKING ABOUT THE WEDDING.
GEORGE:I WORE THOSE 750 TRAINERS OVER THE WEEKEND.
DAVID:ARE THEY STILL STIFF?
GEORGE:UH, I THINK THEY NEED A SOFTER MIDSOLE.
SALESMAN:JUST BACK FROM THE ORIENT, LADIES, AND I'VE GOT A NEW SHIPMENT, BEAUTIFUL MERCHANDISE.GUCCI, CARTIER, LOUIS VUITTON.
WOMAN:I'VE NEVER HEARD OF LOUIS VUITTON.
SALESMAN:HE'S BIG, DARLING, BELIEVE ME.OR THEY WOULDN'T BE KNOCKING 'EM OFF.DON'T WORRY, MR.BANKS.THEY'RE ON A BREAK.
OLIVIA:GEORGE? IT'S FRANCK'S OFFICE.LINE TWO.
GEORGE:UH, MAYBE I COULD SEE THOSE MOCK UPS BY FRIDAY, DAVID? THANKS.
GEORGE:THIS WAS THE CALL I'D BEEN DREADING SINCE I HEARD THE WORDS, "WEDDING COORDINATOR."
GEORGE:HELLO?
HOWARD:MR.BANKS, THIS IS HOWARD WEINSTEIN.FRANCK'S EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT.I.AVE.YOUR ESTIMATE FOR YOU.
GEORGE:I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU.
HOWARD:I'M IN MY CAR.GOING THROUGH.WATER.CANYON.CALL YOU BACK?
GEORGE:NO.NO.NO.I WANT THE ESTIMATE.HOW MUCH? WHAT'S THE DAMAGE?
HOWARD:WELL, EVERYTHING FROM THE FLOWERS TO THE HONEYMOON LIMO.
GEORGE:OKAY, EVERYTHING.HOW MUCH?
HOWARD:.DRED AND.IFTY.A.EAD.
GEORGE:YOU'RE BREAKING UP.IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU SAID A HUNDRED AND FIFTY A HEAD.
HOWARD:NO.NO.
GEORGE:GOOD.I WAS ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF.
HOWARD:IT'S TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY A HEAD.9
GEORGE:GET ME NINA AT WORK.
OLIVIA:SHE JUST CALLED.
GEORGE:I NEED THE FINAL HEAD COUNT.
OLIVIA:SHE JUST GAVE IT TO ME.
GEORGE:WHAT IS IT? ONE-FIFTY?
OLIVIA:FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-TWO.0
GEORGE:TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS A HEAD MEANS THAT FOR THE FOUR OF US TO ATTEND THIS WEDDING IN OUR OWN HOME WILL COST ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.THEREFORE, WE ARE NOT GETTING UP FROM THIS TABLE UNTIL WE CUT THIS LIST DOWN TO THE BARE MINIMUM.NOW, INVITE AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU WANT TO THE CHURCH.PACK 'EM IN.BUILD A GRANDSTAND IF YOU WANT, BUT WE ARE NOT HAVING MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING.ALL RIGHT, LET'S START ELIMINATING.
NINA:OKAY.JIM PEPPER AND WIFE.
GEORGE:OH, GREAT.START WITH ONE OF MY GUYS.
NINA:FINE! WILL START WITH ONE OF MINE.I'LL CUT STEVE AND STEPHANIE TURELL.THEY'RE VERY GOOD CLIENTS OF MINE.
GEORGE:SAY NO MORE, THEY'RE HISTORY.
NINA:ALL RIGHT.JIM PEPPER AND WIFE.
GEORGE:I'VE KNOWN THE GUY FOR TWENTY YEARS.
NINA:YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN FIFTEEN, GEORGE.
GEORGE:ALL RIGHT.I'LL SAY I LOST HIS ADDRESS.NOW HERE'S SOMEBODY.YOUR COUSIN BETSY.THE POET/WAITRESS/PICTURE FRAMER.
NINA:WE CAN'T CUT FAMILY.THEY KNOW ABOUT THE WEDDING.
MATT:I ONLY INVITED ONE PERSON:CAMERON.MOM SAID I COULD HAVE A FRIEND THERE.
GEORGE:FOR TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY BUCKS YOU CAN SEE CAMERON AFTER THE WEDDING.ALL RIGHT, VERY GOOD.FIVE DOWN.WE'RE ROLLING.
NINA:ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT HARRY KIRBY? WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN AGES.
GEORGE:I DON'T KNOW.
ANNIE:DIDN'T HARRY KIRBY DIE LAST YEAR?
GEORGE:YES! GOOD! OH, WELL.SORRY.
MATT:WHO'S FRANK EGLEHOFFER?
GEORGE:WHAT?
NINA:HE'S COORDINATING THE WEDDING AND THEN WE'RE NOT GOING TO INVITE HIM?
GEORGE:EXACTLY! DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO PAY A GUY FIFTEEN-PERCENT, PLUS AN HOURLY, PLUS AN ADDITIONAL FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO FEED HIM AND THAT ASSISTANT OF HIS? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
MATT:CAN I PUT CAMERON BACK ON THE LIST IF HE PROMISES NOT TO EAT?
GEORGE:YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.WHO ELSE CAN WE ASK NOT TO EAT? MY PARENTS.YOUR MOTHER.
ANNIE:WHY DON'T WE JUST CHARGE PEOPLE? THAT WAY WE CAN MAKE MONEY ON THE WEDDING!
NINA:ANNIE? ANNIE.
GEORGE:I WAS KIDDING.
GEORGE:"HOW TO GIVE A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING ON A SMALL BUDGET." "BAKE YOUR OWN WEDDING CAKE." "FIND A GOOD TAILOR AND COPY A DESIGNER DRESS." "HAVE A FRIEND TAKE THE PICTURES."
GEORGE:FROM THAT MOMENT ON, I DECIDED TO SHUT MY MOUTH AND GO WITH THE FLOW.
GEORGE:MY FIRST MOVE WAS TO GET THE OLD TUXEDO OUT OF MOTHBALLS.
GEORGE:HEY, LOOKIN' GOOD, MY MAN! GIT DOWN! HEY! WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT.WHOA-A-WHOA-WHOA.WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT.WHOA-A-WHOA-WHOA.
NINA:GEORGE? ANNIE, HE'S UP HERE!
GEORGE:HEY.PUSSYCAT, PUSSYCAT, I LOVE YOU.INDEED I DO.YES I DO! HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? BOUGHT IT IN '75 AND IT STILL FITS.
ANNIE:LIKE A GLOVE.
NINA:YEAH.IT'S JUST A.WAY TO GO.MAYBE.MAYBE YOU COULD GET A NEW TUX.WE'RE ALL WEARING NEW CLOTHES AND.
GEORGE:WHAT? DON'T YOU THINK I LOOK CUTE? I MEAN, THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SINGLE GALS THERE.
ANNIE:OH.I'LL GET IT.
NINA:OH.OH.BY THE WAY.GOOD NEWS.THE CHURCH IS FREE.
GEORGE:OH, FINALLY SOMETHING IS FREE.
NINA:I MEANT AVAILABLE.
FRANCK:OH, IT'S ADORABLE.OH, IT'S VERY NICE.VERY ROMANTIC.WE CHANGE IT ALL, THOUGH.LET'S GO.
GEORGE:FRANCK AND HIS CREW HAD ARRIVED TO FINALIZE ALL THE DETAILS OF THE WEDDING.FIRST WAS AN AUDITION FOR A BAND SINGER.JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO SAY, "DON'T CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU," I HEARD.
FRANCK:HOWARD, WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE OUT ALL OF THE FURNITURE IF WE'LL HAVE ANY SORT OF ROOM IN HERE.OOH.THIS IS A NICE STATEMENT.IT'S.LOTS OF FUN.MRS.BANKS, ONE QUESTION.
GEORGE:HOWARD.FRANCK WAS SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT MOVING OUT THE FURNITURE?
HOWARD:WE HAVE TO MOVE IT OUT IF WE'RE GOING TO FIT MORE THAN TWO HUNDRED BODIES IN HERE.
GEORGE:BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTS TO SIT DOWN?
HOWARD:WE BRING IN CHAIRS.
GEORGE:WELL, IF YOU'RE BRINGING IN CHAIRS, THEN WHY ARE YOU MOVING THE FURNITURE OUT?
FRANCK:MR.BANKS, I DO THIS FOR A LIVING, YOU KNOW? TRUST ME.A MOVING VAN MUST TAKE EVERYTHING OUT.YES, IT'S ANOTHER EXPENSIVE.OH SURE, YEAH.BUT IT'S WHAT WE NEED.ANNIE? MRS.BANKS?
NINA:UH-HUH?
FRANCK:COME THIS WAY, PLEASE.SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TAILOR? WE DO HAVE OTHER TUXES.
GEORGE:WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM.
FRANCK:GOOD.THAT SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM.GATHER AROUND, EVERYONE.MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, HANK BURNEWSKY.
ANTHONY:GREETINGS.
ANNIE:HI.NINA &
GEORGE:HI.
FRANCK:I NEED TO TAKE A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME TO DISCUSS THE MENU.
GEORGE:THE MAN-YU? THE MAN-YU? REMIND ME.
NINA:THE MENU.
GEORGE:THE MENU! YES!
FRANCK:UNFORTUNATELY, HANK DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, SO I'LL TRANSLATE.
GEORGE:FRANCK, THAT'LL BE A BIG HELP.*FRANCK AND HANK DISCUSS THE MENU.
FRANCK:THIS IS WHAT HANK SUGGESTS.FOR THE MAIN COURSE HE WANTS TO SERVE VEAL.
ANNIE:OH, REALLY? I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT.
GEORGE:WITH WHAT?
ANNIE:WITH VEAL.I KEEP READING THERE'S A LOT OF INHUMANE TREATMENT IN THE WAY THEY TREAT THE CALVES.
FRANCK:I READ THAT, TOO.VERY CHIC.NO PROBLEM.*FRANCK TRANSLATES TO HANK.SO THEN THERE'S SEAFOOD WHICH IS ALSO CHIC, OR FOWL WHICH IS NOT CHIC BUT CHEAP.
GEORGE:CHEAP.FINALLY A WORD I UNDERSTOOD.MY FIRST AND LAST PIECE OF GOOD NEWS.
WOMAN:MRS.BANKS?
NINA:YES?
WOMAN:ONE LAST THING.
GEORGE:WHAT IS HE DOING?
HOWARD:WE NEED MORE AMPS TO LIGHT THE HOUSE AND THE TENT.IT'S CHEAPER THAN BRINGING IN A NEW LINE.
WOMAN:IN TERMS OF THE FLORALS OUT FRONT.WE'RE GOING TO COLOR COORDINATE WITH THE SWANS, RIGHT?
GEORGE:SWANS?
NINA:WELL, YES.I THINK IT'D BE WONDERFUL.
WOMAN:PERFECT.
GEORGE:WE'RE HAVING SWANS?
ANNIE:FRANCK THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE SWANS WADDLING AROUND THE TULIP BORDER, YOU KNOW, AS THE GUEST ENTER.IT WOULD BE REALLY ROMANTIC.
GEORGE:NINA, WE DON'T HAVE A TULIP BORDER.
WOMAN:YOU WILL.
FRANCK:MR.BANKS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.HANK DOES NOT WANT TO DO THE CHICKEN.
GEORGE:HE DOESN'T WHAT?
MAN:FRANCK, IS THE TENT BACK THROUGH HERE?
GEORGE:I'VE BEEN MEANING TO FIX THAT.YOU HAVE TO PUSH, THEN PULL.
MAN:OH.
FRANCK:OH, NOW LET'S NOT PANIC ABOUT ANYTHING, LET'S SEE.OH, THAT'S ONLY A SCRATCH, WE CAN FIX THAT.NOW, MR.BANKS, PLEASE, ABOUT THE SEAFOOD.HANK WANTS TO KNOW IF IT'S OKAY OR NOT TO COOK.
GEORGE:NO FRANCK.TELL HANK IT'S NOT OKAY.IF I HAVE TO MOVE OUT ALL THE FURNITURE AND ADD AMPS AND REPAINT THE WALLS AND GET A NEW TUX AND PAY FOR SWANS, THEN I'D LIKE THE CHEAPER CHICKEN.IS THAT CLEAR?
FRANCK:I UNDERSTOOD THE "CHEAPER" PART.WELL, THAT'S IT.HANK SAYS HE WILL THINK ABOUT THIS.NOW, WE DO NOT WANT TO LOSE HIM.HE IS A GENIUS AND WE NEED HIS MIND, OKAY? SO, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.HANK? HANK?
HOWARD:I SEE YOU'RE STARTING TO LOSE IT, BUT I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION, VERY SIMPLE, ABOUT THE PARKING ATTENDANTS.FOUR IS COMFORTABLE, THREE IS ACCEPTABLE, ANYTHING LESS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIES ME.
GEORGE:TWO.
HOWARD:TWO.
NINA:GEORGE?
GEORGE:TWO.
FRANCK:HANK SAYS IF YOU WANT THE FOWL, HE ISN'T INTERESTED.HE PASSES.
ANNIE:HE PASSES?
BRIAN:HEY DAD! HOW'S IT GOING? I CAME TO GET MY SNEAKERS.I LEFT THEM IN ANNIE'S ROOM LAST NIGHT.
GEORGE:I WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE I WAS HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE.I HAD TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND FAST.NINA SAID AS LONG AS I WAS ESCAPING WOULD I MIND ESCAPING TO THE MARKET AND PICKING UP SOMETHING FOR DINNER.SURE.THAT WAS ALL I NEEDED.A BUSY SUPERMARKET.I NEEDED TO DRIVE, MELLOW OUT, GET MY MIND OFF THE WEDDING.4
GEORGE:BUT MELLOWING OUT WAS NOT IN THE CARDS.
STOCK:
BOY:EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GEORGE:I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING.I WANT TO BUY EIGHT HOT DOGS AND EIGHT HOT DOG BUNS TO GO WITH THEM.BUT NO ONE SELLS EIGHT HOT DOG BUNS.THEY ONLY SELL TWELVE HOT DOG BUNS.SO I END UP PAYING FOR FOUR BUNS I DON'T NEED.SO I AM REMOVING THE SUPERFLUOUS BUNS.
STOCK:
BOY:I'M SORRY, SIR.BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL TWELVE BUNS.THEY'RE NOT MARKED INDIVIDUALLY.
GEORGE:YEAH.AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SOME BIG-SHOT OVER AT THE WIENER COMPANY GOT TOGETHER WITH SOME BIG-SHOT OVER AT THE BUN COMPANY AND DECIDED TO RIP OFF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.BECAUSE THEY THINK THE AMERICAN PUBLIC IS A BUNCH OF TRUSTING NIT-WITS WHO WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY DON'T NEED RATHER THAN MAKE A STINK!
MANAGER:GET ME SECURITY.
GEORGE:WELL, THEY'RE NOT RIPPING OFF THIS NIT-WIT ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M NOT PAYING FOR ONE MORE THING I DON'T NEED! GEORGE BANKS IS SAYING NO!
STOCK:
BOY:WHO'S GEORGE BANKS?
GEORGE:ME!
MANAGER:WHY DON'T WE JUST CALM DOWN NOW, SIR.
GEORGE:I'LL TELL YOU WHY "WE" DON'T CALM DOWN, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EXCITED! IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE FOR A "WE" TO CALM DOWN, DOESN'T IT?
MANAGER:UH, THAT I DON'T KNOW, SIR.I'M JUST THE ASSISTANT MANAGER OF A SUPERMARKET.BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS.IF YOU DON'T PIPE DOWN AND PAY FOR THOSE BUNS, I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE.
GEORGE:OH.RIGHT! YEAH! UH-HUH.YEAH.RIGHT!
MANAGER:THAT'S RIGHT.
GEORGE:RIGHT!
MANAGER:HEY!
GEORGE:RIGHT!
MANAGER:HEY! COME HERE! COME HERE! COME HERE!5
GEORGE:THAT WAS THE LOW POINT.FLIPPING OUT OVER FOUR HOT DOG BUNS.I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHY I'D GOTTEN SO NUTS.WHY THE WEDDING HAD ME SO UNGLUED.
OFFICER:BANKS.YOUR WIFE IS HERE.
GEORGE:AREN'T YOU GOING TO LET ME OUT?
OFFICER:SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU FIRST.
GEORGE:SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME FIRST?
NINA:HELLO GEORGE.
GEORGE:WHY DO YOU LOOK HAPPY TO SEE ME IN HERE, NINA?
NINA:HAPPY? NO.NO.NO.I'M NOT HAPPY, GEORGE.YOU THINK I WAS HAPPY TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I HAD TO COME DOWN TO THE CITY JAIL AND BAIL YOU OUT FOR STEALING HOT DOG BUNS?
GEORGE:I WASN'T STEALING THEM!
NINA:AH!
GEORGE:I WAS JUST.
NINA:AH! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU NOT TO TALK OR I'LL HAVE TO CALL OFFICER WHATSHISNAME OVER THERE.YOU'VE BEEN MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE, GEORGE.ANNIE'S WEDDING IS NOT A CONSPIRACY AGAINST YOU.IT'S JUST A WEDDING.PEOPLE HAVE THEM EVERY DAY IN EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE.BUT, WE DON'T GO TO EUROPE.WE DON'T OWN FANCY CARS.I DON'T OWN EXPENSIVE JEWELRY, SO WE CAN AFFORD TO HAVE A BIG WEDDING.
GEORGE:NINA.
NINA:I'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE ON ONE CONDITION, BANKS.THAT YOU'LL AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING.NOW REPEAT AFTER ME."I, GEORGE STANLEY BANKS."
GEORGE:I, GEORGE STANLEY BANKS.
NINA:".PROMISE TO PULL IT TOGETHER AND ACT MY AGE."
GEORGE:.PROMISE TO PULL IT TOGETHER AND ACT MY AGE.
NINA:"I WILL STOP HYPERVENTILATING, ROLLING MY EYES, UNBUTTONING MY TOP COLLAR BUTTON."
GEORGE:I DON'T UNBUTTON MY TOP COLLAR.
NINA:OH, YEAH? NO.YOU MEAN, LIKE THIS BIT?
GEORGE:.STOP HYPERVENTILATING, ROLLING MY EYES, AND UNBUTTONING MY TOP COLLAR BUTTON.
NINA:"I WILL STOP MAKING FACES IN GENERAL AND I WILL DEFINITELY STOP TELLING EVERYBODY HOW MUCH THIS WEDDING IS COSTING."
GEORGE:I DON'T TELL EVERYONE HOW MUCH IT COSTS!
NINA:HE TOLD YOU, RIGHT?
OFFICER:TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY A HEAD?
GEORGE:OH, WELL, THANKS!
NINA:"I WILL TRY TO REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER'S FEELINGS AND HOW WITH EVERY ROLL OF MY EYES, I AM TAKING AWAY A PIECE OF HER HAPPINESS."
GEORGE:I LOVE YOU, NINA.
NINA:JUST REPEAT THE LAST PART FOR ME, GEORGE.
GEORGE:I WILL TRY TO REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER'S FEELINGS AND HOW WITH EVERY ROLL OF MY EYES, I AM TAKING AWAY A PIECE OF HER HAPPINESS.
NINA:I LOVE YOU, TOO.LET'S GO HOME.6
NINA:ANNIE! BRIAN! LOOK! IT'S A PRESENT! IT'S YOUR FIRST PRESENT!
ANNIE:OUR FIRST PRESENT.I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
BRIAN:OUR SECOND ONE SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
ANNIE:WOW! HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BRIAN:WELL, I ASKED THEM TO BRING IT OVER.
GEORGE:OH, SO THIS IS WHEN WE GIVE THE PRESENTS? GREAT.UH, GOOD.I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
BRIAN:WHERE'S HE GOING?
NINA:MAYBE HE GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU.
ANNIE:YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
NINA:I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE.7
JOHN:LOOK AT THIS!
ANNIE:THIS IS FOR US? THANK YOU SO MUCH!
GEORGE:YIKES.A WHOLE CAR.
ANNIE:DAD? DAD, DID YOU SEE WHAT THE MACKENZIES GOT US?
GEORGE:IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.AND YOU THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER HAVE A NEW CAR.
ANNIE:I KNOW! WHAT'S THAT?
GEORGE:IT'S.NOTHING.IT'S JUST A GIFT I WAS THINKING OF GIVING YOU GUYS.IT'S SOMETHING YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE BUT YOU WANT.
ANNIE:CAN I SEE IT?
GEORGE:YEAH.WELL.IT'S NOT A BIG, BIG GIFT, OF COURSE.
ANNIE:IT'S A CAPPUCCINO MAKER!
GEORGE:IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD ONE.THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID AT THE STORE.IT'S.UH.TOP OF THE LINE.IT MAKES GREAT FOAM.
ANNIE:I COULDN'T LOVE ANYTHING MORE.
GEORGE:MY FEELINGS EXACTLY.8
MAN:ALL RIGHT, MR.BANKS.HERE YOU GO.A FORTY LONG.IT'S GORGEOUS EVEN ON THE HANGER! NOW THIS IS AN ACTUAL GEORGIO ARMANI.THE REAL MCCOY.DON'T ASK HOW I GOT IT.BUT HERE IT IS.9
GEORGE:NINA, WE HAVE GREAT FRIENDS, YOU KNOW THAT.I MEAN, THESE ARE NOT YOUR RUN OF THE MILL SALAD BOWLS, THESE ARE PRIMO GIFTS.:AS A MUTTER OF FACT, I AM SO HAPPY WE HAVE DECIDED TO SURVE THE VERY CHIC BUT EXPENSIVE SEEFOOT AT OUR VERY FUSHNABOIL WATTING.:AH! DE BOOTIFUL BROIDE.GOOD NEWS! YOU HAVE RECEIVED ANOTHER VERY LOOVELY, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, SILVER TEA SET.WHAT'S THE MATTER?
ANNIE:SEND IT BACK.
GEORGE:COME ON.WHAD'YOO MEAN?
ANNIE:DADDY, I'M NOT KIDDING.SEND THEM ALL BACK.THE WEDDING'S OFF!0
GEORGE:ANN? ANNIE?
ANNIE:I'M SORRY, DAD.BUT I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY BRIAN.
GEORGE:OKAY.OKAY.WHATEVER YOU WANT IS OKAY WITH US.
ANNIE:I FEEL SO AWFUL AFTER EVERYTHING YOU GUYS HAVE DONE.NOW I HAVE TO UNDO IT ALL.
GEORGE:DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.THESE THINGS GET CANCELED ALL THE TIME.YOUR MOTHER AND I CAN TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.WHAT HAPPENED? ANOTHER GIRL?
ANNIE:OH, LOOK AT YOUR SHIRT.
GEORGE:DON'T WORRY.
ANNIE:NO, IT WASN'T ANYTHING LIKE THAT.IT STARTED OUT AS NOTHING REALLY.HE GAVE ME A PRESENT.IT'S OUR EIGHT MONTH ANNIVERSARY TODAY AND HE GAVE ME.JUST LOOK! HE SAID IT WAS FOR ME.FOR OUR APARTMENT.JUST LOOK.
GEORGE:IT'S A BLENDER.
ANNIE:YEAH.EXACTLY.I MEAN, I DIDN'T WANT TO ACT THROWN OR ANYTHING, BUT INSIDE I WAS.I MEAN, I THOUGHT SOMETHING FOR THE APARTMENT.MAYBE A NEW CLOCK, OR A COOL PHONE, OR A GREAT ART BOOK, OR SOMETHING.BUT A BLENDER? I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS? 1958? GIVE THE LITTLE WIFE A BLENDER? I MEAN, IT SCARED ME, YOU KNOW? IN TERMS OF HIS EXPECTATIONS.I STARTED TO FREAK OUT AND HE ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG AND I ASKED HIM WHAT A GIFT LIKE THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TELLING ME AND HE SAID NOTHING AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM AND WE GOT INTO THIS BIG FIGHT.AND HE SAID I WAS OVERREACTING.AND I SAID WHY WOULD I OVERREACT? NOBODY IN MY FAMILY OVERREACTS.AND THEN, HE CAME UP WITH THIS TOTALLY ABSURD STORY, THIS COMPLETELY OUTRAGEOUS LIE AND I'M LOOKING AT HIM AND I'M THINKING, THIS MAN'S A LIAR!
GEORGE:WHAT DID HE LIE ABOUT?
ANNIE:OH, ACTUALLY IT WAS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.
GEORGE:ME?
ANNIE:HE SAID THE DAY THAT YOU AND MOM WENT TO GO VISIT HIS FOLKS.THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS! HE SAID THAT YOU WERE SNOOPING AROUND HIS DAD'S DESK AND YOU SOMEHOW FOUND HIS DAD'S BANKBOOK.OH NO! FIRST HE SAID YOU BROKE SOME MIRROR IN THEIR BATHROOM.AND THEN YOU FOUND HIS DAD'S BANKBOOK AND YOU SOMEHOW THREW IT IN THEIR POOL.I MEAN, IT'S TOO RIDICULOUS.THE MAN LIES!
GEORGE:COME IN.
NINA:ANNIE, BRIAN'S DOWNSTAIRS.
ANNIE:I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM.
NINA:HE LOOKS AWFUL.
ANNIE:GOOD.
GEORGE:EXCUSE ME.
GEORGE:I THOUGHT MAYBE I SHOULD HELP SMOOTH THINGS OVER.SO I TOOK BRIAN OUT FOR A DRINK.I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE A TALK.
GEORGE:.MAN TO MAN.BUT AS I SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO HIS SIDE OF THE STORY, I REALIZED THIS WAS A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.IF I EVER WANTED TO GET RID OF BRIAN MACKENZIE, THIS WAS MY CHANCE.
BRIAN:YOU KNOW THOSE BANANA SHAKES SHE LIKES TO MAKE, RIGHT? WELL, THAT'S WHY I THOUGHT SHE'D LIKE A BLENDER.I GUESS I CAN SEE HER POINT.A BLENDER DOES SUGGEST A CERTAIN 1950'S REFERENCE TO SEXUAL POLITICS.BUT I SWEAR IT NEVER ENTERED MY CONSCIOUSNESS AT THE TIME.
GEORGE:I BELIEVE YOU.
BRIAN:YOU DO? WOULD YOU TELL ANNIE THAT FOR ME, DAD?
GEORGE:THIS WAS WHERE I WAS GOING TO LOWER THE BOOM.BUT INSTEAD, I FOUND MYSELF LOOKING INTO HIS WEEPY EYES AND FOUND MYSELF SAYING.
GEORGE:SURE, I'LL TELL HER.
BRIAN:OH GOOD.'CAUSE I KNOW THAT WHATEVER YOU SAY, SHE'LL BELIEVE.
GEORGE:NOT ONLY WAS I NOT GETTING RID OF THE KID, I NOW FOUND MYSELF TALKING HIM INTO STAYING.
GEORGE:YOU KNOW, BRIAN.ANNIE IS A VERY PASSIONATE PERSON AND PASSIONATE PEOPLE TEND TO OVERREACT AT TIMES.ANNIE COMES FROM A LONG LINE OF MAJOR OVERREACTORS.ME.I CAN DEFINITELY LOSE IT.MY MOTHER.A NUT.MY GRANDFATHER.STORIES ABOUT HIM ARE LEGENDARY.THE GOOD NEWS, HOWEVER, IS THAT THIS OVERREACTING TENDS TO GET PROPORTIONATELY LESS BY GENERATION, SO YOUR KIDS COULD BE NORMAL.
GEORGE:AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, I WENT ON!
GEORGE:BUT ON THE UPSIDE, WITH THIS PASSION COMES GREAT SPIRIT AND INDIVIDUALITY WHICH IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE REASONS YOU LOVE ANNIE.
BRIAN:THAT'S WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT HER.
GEORGE:THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME LIKE A MAC TRUCK.ANNIE WAS JUST LIKE ME, AND BRIAN WAS JUST LIKE NINA.
GEORGE:THEY WERE A PERFECT MATCH.
ANNIE:DAD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOOK HIM OUT.WHAT DID HE SAY? I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.WHAT?
GEORGE:HONEY, I JUST SPENT AN HOUR WITH BRIAN AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT THIS GIFT SAYS NOTHING ABOUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU.IT'S JUST A THING TO PUT IN THE KITCHEN.HE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO BLEND SOMETHING ONE DAY AND THAT'S ALL.
ANNIE:AND YOU BELIEVE THAT?
GEORGE:COMPLETELY.HE'S DOWNSTAIRS NOW.HIS HEART IS BREAKING.PLEASE GO SEE HIM.AND ALSO, THAT STORY HE TOLD YOU ABOUT ME AND THE BANKBOOK AND THE SWIMMING POOL.
ANNIE:YEAH? WHAT?
GEORGE:IT'S TRUE.
ANNIE:OH BRIAN.
BRIAN:OH ANNIE.I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE BLENDER.I SEE YOUR POINT.IT WAS INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE OF ME.
ANNIE:NO.IT'S OKAY.I WANT IT.IT'S MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT.I'M SO SORRY ABOUT CALLING YOU A WORM.MY DAD TOLD ME EVERYTHING.
BRIAN:WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS NEVER GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN.IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR FATHER.
ANNIE:I KNOW.I KNOW.I LOVE YOU.
BRIAN:ME, TOO.
GEORGE:EVERYTHING FINE NOW? GOOD, I'LL JUST GO.
BRIAN:ANNIE!
ANNIE:HI BRIAN.COME ON UP.
GEORGE:WELL, WE MADE IT TO JANUARY.IT WAS THE DAY BEFORE THE BIG DAY.THE FARMER'S ALMANAC PREDICTED THIS WEEK WAS GOING TO BE THE COLDEST L.A.HAD SEEN IN OVER HALF A CENTURY.BUT WE WERE SO BUSY NONE OF US HAD TIME TO NOTICE.4
MATT:RIGHT, TOGETHER.LEFT, TOGETHER.RIGHT, TOGETHER.LEFT, TOGETHER.RIGHT, TOGETHER.LEFT, TOGETHER.
GEORGE:WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU'RE UP PRETTY LATE, AREN'T YA?
MATT:YEAH.I KNOW.I'M JUST PRACTICING.I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO WALK MOM DOWN THE AISLE.
GEORGE:DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL BE GREAT.
MATT:IS IT RIGHT TOGETHER, LEFT OR LEFT TOGETHER, RIGHT?
GEORGE:COME ON, LET'S TRY IT.LET'S SEE, WE GO RIGHT, TOGETHER, LEFT TOGETHER.RIGHT, TOGETHER, LEFT, TOGETHER.GOOD.MATTY.I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN PREOCCUPIED LATELY WITH THIS WEDDING.
MATT:IT'S OKAY.
GEORGE:YEAH, BUT I HAVE, HAVEN'T I?
MATT:IT'S ALL RIGHT.I UNDERSTAND.
GEORGE:YEAH, BUT.
MATT:YEAH, YOU HAVE.BUT I HAVEN'T FELT IGNORED OR ANYTHING.DON'T WORRY, DAD.NO PERMANENT DAMAGE DONE.
GEORGE:WELL, GOOD.
ANNIE::IT'S REALLY CUTE AND COZY AND IN A GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD.YOU'LL SEE IT.I'M REALLY EXCITED.BUT I'VE GOT ALL THIS PACKING TO DO AND THIS ROOM LOOKS SO DIFFERENT.
MATT:IT'S GOING TO BE WEIRD, ISN'T IT? JUST YOU, ME, AND MOM HERE NOW.
GEORGE:YEAH.COME ON.GOODNIGHT, PAL.SLEEP TIGHT.
MATT:GOOD LUCK TOMORROW, DAD.
GEORGE:YEAH, YOU TOO.
MATT:ANNIE?
ANNIE:YEAH?
MATT:GOODNIGHT.
ANNIE:GOODNIGHT, MATTY.I LOVE YOU.
MATT:I LOVE YOU, TOO.5
ANNIE:DID I WAKE YOU?
GEORGE:NO, I WAS UP.SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ANNIE:I COULDN'T SLEEP.I JUST KEPT THINKING ABOUT HOW THIS WAS MY LAST NIGHT IN MY BED.IN MY HOUSE.KINDA LIKE MY LAST NIGHT AS A KID.I MEAN, I'VE LIVED HERE SINCE I WAS FIVE AND I FEEL LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO TURN IN MY KEY TOMORROW.IT WAS SO STRANGE PACKING UP MY ROOM.YOU KNOW HOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS TRAINED ME NEVER TO THROW ANYTHING AWAY.SO LIKE I HAVE ALL THESE RATTY STUFFED ANIMALS AND YEARBOOKS.MY OLD RETAINER.ALL MY OLD MAGIC TRICKS.AND I ACTUALLY PACKED IT ALL.I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO LET IT GO.I MEAN, I KNOW I CAN'T STAY, BUT IT'S LIKE I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE.
GEORGE:WELL, THAT'S THE THING ABOUT LIFE.IS UH, THE SURPRISES.THE LITTLE THINGS THAT SNEAK UP ON YOU AND GRAB HOLD OF YOU.STILL HAPPENS TO ME.
ANNIE:YIKES.WHAT IS THIS?
GEORGE:I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ANNIE:OH MY GOD.TALK ABOUT SURPRISES.
GEORGE:IT HASN'T SNOWED IN L.A.SINCE I WAS NINE.
ANNIE:MOM'S GONNA DIE.WHAT? WHAT IS THAT FACE?
GEORGE:NO.NOTHING.I WAS JUST THINKING.
ANNIE:OH, THIS IS GOING TO END UP COSTING YOU MORE MONEY.
GEORGE:NO.HOW I KNOW I'LL REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.6
GEORGE:WHEN YOU LIVE IN A CITY THAT HASN'T SEEN SNOW IN THIRTY-SIX YEARS, IT'S BOUND TO CAUSE A FEW PROBLEMS.FIRST, WE PANICKED AND BROUGHT IN EXTRA HEATERS.BUT THEY WERE MELTING THE ICE SCULPTURES SO THEY HAD TO GO.THE FLORIST HAD TO THAW OUT OUR NEWLY PLANTED TULIPS WITH A HAIR DRYER.FRANCK AND HOWARD SHOVELED OUR PATH THEMSELVES AT NO EXTRA CHARGE.
FRANCK:JUST KEEP SHOVELING! DON'T STOP!
GEORGE:AND THE SWANS SPENT THE MORNING IN A LUKEWARM BATH.OTHER THAN THAT, WE WERE ALMOST RUNNING ON SCHEDULE.
GEORGE:NINA! IT'S AFTER THREE!
HOWARD:ALL I CAN SAY IS, THANK GOD SNOW IS WHITE.IT WORKS.KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
GEORGE:SURE.FRANCK, DO YOU HAVE THAT NEEDLE AND THREAD?
FRANCK:HERE YOU GO, GEORGE.WE'LL FIX YOU RIGHT UP.HOWARD, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE CHURCH.
HOWARD:I'M ON MY WAY.
FRANCK:OH OH.I BRING THE WRONG COLOR THREAD.I ASSUMED YOU'D BE WEARING A BLACK TUXEDO.
GEORGE:IT IS A BLOCK TUXADO.
FRANCK:I DON'T THINK SO, BABE.THIS TUX IS NAVY BLUE!
GEORGE:WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARMANI DOESN'T MAKE A BLUE TUXEDO.
FRANCK:ARMANI DON'T ALSO MAKE POLYESTER.
GEORGE:FRANCK, WHERE ARE THE CARS? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE BY NOW.
FRANCK:WHERE ARE THOSE CARS?
NINA:ALL RIGHT.RELAX, HONEY.EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE JUST FINE.AT LEAST WE KNOW THEY CAN'T START WITHOUT US.
GEORGE:I KNEW I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO REMEMBER WHAT NINA WORE THAT DAY.BUT I ALSO KNEW I'D NEVER FORGET THE WAY SHE LOOKED.
GEORGE:NINA.
NINA:THANK YOU, GEORGE.
GEORGE:YOU SHOULDN'T LOOK THIS BEAUTIFUL.IT'S NOT FAIR TO THE BRIDE.
FRANCK:CARS IS HERE! MATTHEW, FRONT AND CENTER!
MATT:JUST KIDDING.
NINA:WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR, HONEY?
MATT:I GELLED IT.YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
NINA:OH NO, I THINK IT LOOKS.COOL.
GEORGE:VERY DEBONAIR, OLD BOY.
MATT:THANK YOU.
NINA:OKAY.WE'LL GO IN THE FIRST CAR AND YOU AND ANNIE FOLLOW.
GEORGE:RIGHT.
NINA:GEORGE.
GEORGE:OH, I FOLLOW.ANN! ANNIE?
ANNIE:I'M READY.COME ON IN.
GEORGE:YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
ANNIE:THANKS.OKAY.LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.7
GEORGE:WE'RE HERE!
NINA:OH!
ANNIE:HI!
HOWARD:COME ON, EVERYONE.I NEED THE USHERS FIRST.
NINA:GEORGE!
GEORGE:LEFT TOGETHER, RIGHT TOGETHER.
MATT:GOT IT, DAD.
GEORGE:LET ME SEE THAT.
MATT:SEE?
NINA:LET'S DO THIS, OKAY? I LOVE YOU.
ANNIE:I LOVE YOU, TOO.
HOWARD:MOTHER OF THE BRIDE.FATHER OF THE BRIDE.WE'VE GOT TO GO.
NINA:GEORGE?
HOWARD:LET'S GO.LINE UP.MOTHER OF THE BRIDE? COME ON, MOTHER OF THE BRIDE.HERE WE GO.I'M OPENING THE DOORS.NATASHIA, HAVEN'T YOU PEEKED ENOUGH? HERE WE GO.COME ON, LET'S GO.AND.LEFT.RIGHT.VERY NICE.RIGHT AND LEFT.RIGHT AND LEFT.
GEORGE:THIS WAS THE MOMENT I HAD BEEN DREADING FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS.WELL, ACTUALLY FOR THE PAST TWENTY-TWO YEARS.
ANNIE:HOLD ON, DAD.
GEORGE:ANNIE OVERWHELMED ME.SHE WAS AS CALM AND COOL AS I HAD EVER SEEN HER.VERY UNBANKS-LIKE.
ANNIE:OKAY.
REVEREND:DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TOGETHER IN THE PRESENCE OF FAMILY, FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES, FOR THE PURPOSE OF UNITING IN MATRIMONY.
GEORGE:ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS THE PART I HAD TO PLAY.THEN SUDDENLY I WENT BLANK.I HAD ONE LINE AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER IT.WHEN THE REVEREND SAID, "WHO PRESENTS THIS WOMAN?" WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY, "THAT'S ME" OR WAS IT "I DO"? I COULDN'T THINK.I FELT EVERY EYE IN PLACE BORING INTO THE BACK OF MY NECK, WAITING FOR ME TO SCREW UP, WHEN SUDDENLY, IT WAS UPON ME.
REVEREND:WHO PRESENTS THIS WOMAN IN HOLY MATRIMONY?
GEORGE:I DO.
REVEREND:ANNIE AND BRIAN, YOU HAVE COME HERE TODAY TO JOIN YOUR HANDS.
GEORGE:WHO PRESENTS THIS WOMAN? THIS "WOMAN." BUT SHE'S NOT A WOMAN, SHE'S JUST A KID.AND SHE'S LEAVING US.
REVEREND:.WITH THE DEEP REALIZATION OF IT'S OBLIGATIONS AND RESPONSIBILITIES.
GEORGE:I REALIZED AT THAT MOMENT THAT I WAS NEVER GOING TO COME AGAIN AND SEE ANNIE AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN AT OUR BREAKFAST TABLE IN HER NIGHTGOWN AND SOCKS.I SUDDENLY REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING.ANNIE WAS ALL GROWN UP AND LEAVING US, AND SOMETHING INSIDE BEGAN TO HURT.
REVEREND:"I, BRIAN MACKENZIE."
BRIAN:I, BRIAN MACKENZIE.
REVEREND:".TAKE THEE, ANNIE BANKS."
BRIAN:.TAKE THEE, ANNIE BANKS.
REVEREND:".TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE."
BRIAN:.TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE.
REVEREND:"TO LOVE AND TO COMFORT FROM THIS DAY FORWARD."
BRIAN:TO LOVE AND TO COMFORT FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
REVEREND:"I, ANNIE BANKS."
ANNIE:I, ANNIE BANKS.
REVEREND:".TAKE THEE, BRIAN MACKENZIE."
ANNIE:.TAKE THEE, BRIAN MACKENZIE."
REVEREND:".TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND."
ANNIE:.TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND.
REVEREND:"TO LOVE AND TO COMFORT FROM THIS DAY FORWARD."
ANNIE:TO LOVE AND TO COMFORT FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
REVEREND:THE RING, PLEASE."WITH THIS RING, AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE AND AFFECTION, I THEE WED."
BRIAN:WITH THIS RING, AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE AND AFFECTION, I THEE WED.
REVEREND:"WITH THIS RING, AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE AND AFFECTION, I THEE WED."
ANNIE:WITH THIS RING, AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE AND AFFECTION, I THEE WED.
REVEREND:BY VIRTUE OF THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
GEORGE:WELL, SHE DID IT.8
GEORGE:AND NOW AS MY SON SAID, IT'S TIME TO PARTY.9
GEORGE:HI.HOW ARE YOU?
MAN:CONGRATULATIONS.
GEORGE:IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
WOMAN:YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
GEORGE:THE HOUSE WAS BUSTING AT THE SEAMS.EVERYWHERE I LOOKED THERE WERE FACES.MOST OF WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
JOANNA:GEORGE, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THE DANISH RELATIVES.
GEORGE:HELLO!
GEORGE:I MET BRIAN'S DANISH RELATIVES WHO THANKED ME PROFUSELY FOR FLYING THEM OVER.EVERYONE WAS TELLING ME WHAT A GREAT PARTY IT WAS.HOW BEAUTIFUL THE HOUSE LOOKED.THEY LOVED THE FLOWERS, THE HORS D'OEUVRES, THE SWANS.WE EVEN SEEMED TO BE GETTING AWAY WITH ONLY TWO PARKING ATTENDANTS.EVERYTHING WAS RUNNING SMOOTHLY EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL DETAIL.I STILL HADN'T KISSED THE BRIDE.
GEORGE:WHERE'S ANNIE?
NINA:ANNIE? SHE'S HAVING HER PICTURE TAKEN.
GEORGE:HI BEN.HOW ARE YOU?PHOTO
GRAPHER:OKAY KIDS, LOOK AT EACH OTHER.VERY NICE.NOW, TURN TOWARDS ME, PLEASE.WAITER #1SORRY, SIR.ALL TRAFFIC HAS TO GO THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.
GEORGE:OH, COULD I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?WAITER #2SORRY, JUST SOLD MY LAST ONE.HEY, A BUTTON.IT'S NAVY.THIS MUST BE YOURS.WAITER #3WE'RE MOVING INTO THE TENT NOW.DINNER IS SERVED.THIS WAY TO THE TENT, PLEASE.
GEORGE:ANNIE!
GEORGE:IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.I HAD NEVER SEEN A LINE FORM SO FAST.IT WAS AS IF THEY KNEW WHAT THE FOOD WAS COSTING ME.FINALLY, I MADE IT INTO THE TENT.I WAS READY TO RELAX AND TASTE THE FOOD I HAD BEEN HEARING ABOUT FOR THE PAST FIVE MONTHS WHEN.
MATT:DAD! DAD! THERE'S SOME COPS OUT FRONT AND THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
GEORGE:COPS?
FRANCK:I HEARD.WE'LL HANDLE THIS TOGETHER.I'VE GOT GEORGE.WE'RE ON OUR WAY.COME ON GEORGE, PICK IT UP.PICK IT UP.0
FRANCK:LET ME HANDLE THIS, GEORGE.GIVE ME YOUR WALLET.
GEORGE:STOP! WHAT IS THIS?
MATT:SEE CAMERON? I TOLD YOU.
CAMERON:WOW!
OFFICER:IS THIS YOUR HOUSE?
GEORGE:ME?
OFFICER:YEAH, YOU.IN THE BLUE TUX.
GEORGE:YES.YES IT IS.
OFFICER:DO YOU HAVE A PERMIT FOR PARKING TWO HUNDRED CARS ON THIS STREET?
FRANCK:YOU SEE, THE PROBLEM IS, OFFICER, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOUR PARKING ATTENDANTS, BUT UH, TWO GOT THE FLU.
OFFICER:WELL, YOU BETTER GET THESE CARS OFF THIS STREET BEFORE THE FIRE MARSHALL GETS HERE.
FRANCK:FINE.FINE.ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT WE DO WITH THEM?
OFFICER:I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM.JUST HAVE THEM OFF THIS STREET WITHIN THE NEXT THIRTY MINUTES.
FRANCK:WILL DO, SIR.WE'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.YOU'RE NOT TO WORRY.OKAY? OH, UH GEORGE.THEY NEED ME INSIDE.THE BIG MOMENT.THE CAKE IS BEING WHEELED OUT.
GEORGE:I'LL.I'LL HANDLE IT.WHERE ARE WE GOING TO GET A COUPLE OF EXTRA DRIVERS?
CAMERON:BY THE WAY, GREAT WEDDING, MR.BANKS.AND DON'T WORRY.I DIDN'T EAT ANYTHING.
GEORGE:THAT MAKES TWO OF US.
ANNIE:WHERE IS HE?
NINA:I DON'T KNOW.GEORGE REALIZES THAT HE HAS TO TURN OFF ALL OF THE CAR'S HEADLIGHTS.
GEORGE:WELL, I HAD TO ADMIT IT.THE WEDDING APPEARED TO BE A COMPLETE SUCCESS.NOW ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE ME HAPPY WAS A DANCE WITH THE BRIDE.
HOWARD:IT'S TIME.BAND
LEADER:LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.IN A JUST A FEW MOMENTS, MRS.ANNIE BANKS-MACKENZIE WILL BE TOSSING HER BOUQUET IN THE FOYER, AND THEN SHE'S OFF TO HAWAII.
GEORGE:THIS I WAS NOT GOING TO MISS.THE MOB WAS HEADED THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM, SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A SHORTCUT.4
ANNIE:WHERE'S MY DAD?
BRIAN:I DON'T KNOW.I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.
ANNIE:SHOULD I THROW IT?
NINA:HE MISSED IT.
GEORGE:SHE WAS GONE.MY ANNIE WAS GONE AND I WAS TOO LATE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.5
GEORGE:WHEN THE LAST GUEST WAS GONE AND THE LAST GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE HAD BEEN DRUNK, WE SURVEYED THE DAMAGE.
GEORGE:IT'S FUNNY HOW EMPTY A HOUSE CAN SUDDENLY GET, ISN'T IT?
NINA:I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO HER, GEORGE.
GEORGE:OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
NINA:BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT SHE'S GOING TO BE REALLY HAPPY.
GEORGE:OH YEAH.SURE.:HELLO?
ANNIE:DAD?
GEORGE:HI! WHERE ARE YOU?
ANNIE:AT THE AIRPORT.OUR PLANE'S ABOUT TO TAKE OFF, BUT I COULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.THANK MOM FOR EVERYTHING, OKAY? AND DAD? I LOVE YOU.I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
GEORGE:I LOVE YOU, TOO, SWEETHEART.THANKS FOR CALLING.AND HAVE A GREAT HONEYMOON.
ANNIE:THANKS.I WILL.BYE.
GEORGE:THAT WAS ANNIE.
NINA:OH.
